puzzle about girls wth low self esteem

[lao che]

my girl said to me "i have self esteem issues". i said, "bitch, you think i don't know that? go make me a sandwich."

really though, i asked her how she feels when she's with me. i make her feel good. she feels good around me. of course, i like to build people up, not drag them down. that's why she keeps coming back.
girls tell me hanging out with me is "like being on holiday".
(by the way, i'm not talking about some homeless crackwhore here. this is a smart talented lady)

now, the cliche is that the girl with low self esteem seeks out, chooses to spend her time with, guys who abuse her. guys who make her feel like the "piece of shit she knows she is".
so that raises a puzzle for me. if you can choose to be either in a place where you feel worthless, or a place where you feel like a queen, then why choose the former? why is my LSE girl so smitten with me when i make her feel so great?

seems to me, girls with HIGH self esteem would be more into dirtbag abusive guys. or more responsive to that, at least.

what am i not seeing?

 

[Franco]

lao che,

I believe this article might be relevant and worth a read:

• How Her Childhood Influences Her Adult Relationship with You

- Franco

 

[bassman]

How's her relationship with her dad? That should tell you everything you need to know.

 

[lao che]

thanks for replies. i'd read the article previously and did re-read.

i'm not really trying to puzzle out or predict or understand her behaviour. that's not the question.

i've written here before about me having no "Game" i just find girls who wanna fuck me then i guide them along the path.
there've been a couple of girls who seemed to be on the fence, but leaning towards my side, they communicated with me, met me for dates, even came to my place, but we never had sex.
i *believe* a more asshole version of myself would have succeeded with these girls (don't get me wrong i'm not a nice guy or a pushover, i'm kind of an asshole too. but the good kind. some girls have told me they are afraid of me, that i can be kinda scary, and it's meant as a compliment. but i'm never mean by default. i'm warm and friendly and interested, i'm a great tease, i'm just not mean. i hope you can get what i 'm trying to explain). that's what they wanted, someone meaner, someone to badmouth them a little. like "bitch your ass looks fat in those pants and you're ugly" kind of stuff. i dunno.

the girls in question, i would not at all consider "low self esteem", the opposite, in fact

so, if i'd flicked a switch and turned on asshole mode i think i could have angered some hot high self esteem girls into fucking me.





that would make sense to me -

miss HSE gets "knocked down a peg or two" by an asshole-for-no-reason, feels a bit less special = sex.

miss LSE gets pulled up, boosted, when she spends time with a guy who makes herfeel good = sex