Question about approaching in coffee shops

[superomar]

Today I saw this cute girl at a starbucks, I was sitting at a table a bit away from her for a bit. She was on her break eating some sushi, I eventually got up, brushed past her like an idiot and went to the bathroom. On the way back, I sat about a table away from her facing her. She brushed close past me, twice, to go throw something in the garbage so im pretty sure she wanted me to say something.

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I had no idea how to pre open her, so I chickened out and left. My question is, one, Should I have sat on the chair directly across from her? Also, should I have gone to the bathroom or directly moved closer to her? And three, How do I preopen a girl sitting down, eating, in a coffee shop? The nudge wouldnt work, and I cant just come upto her and lingering touch her. I couldnt catch her gaze, So i couldnt do the gaze and smile. Anyone help me out?

 

[Richard]

"Hey, do you come here often?" (when she brushed past)
or
"Hey, is this seat taken?" (for when she's sitting down, assuming that other seats are open, this is more implicitly direct)

After she says it's not, you can ask the first question, "do you come here often?" as a great starting point. It's perfectly normal to ask, and should get the ball rolling very smoothly.

-Richard

 

[superomar]

"Hey, do you come here often?" (when she brushed past)
or
"Hey, is this seat taken?" (for when she's sitting down, assuming that other seats are open, this is more implicitly direct)

After she says it's not, you can ask the first question, "do you come here often?" as a great starting point. It's perfectly normal to ask, and should get the ball rolling very smoothly.

-Richard

I will definitely try that out tomorrow, thank you Richard.

 

[superomar]

"Hey, do you come here often?" (when she brushed past)
or
"Hey, is this seat taken?" (for when she's sitting down, assuming that other seats are open, this is more implicitly direct)

After she says it's not, you can ask the first question, "do you come here often?" as a great starting point. It's perfectly normal to ask, and should get the ball rolling very smoothly.

-Richard

How about following the "Hey is this seat taken" with a direct opener? Like for example, you walk up to her table slowly. Stay there for a second while she looks at you, then slowly meet her gaze. Warm smile, and ask "is this seat taken?" Then sit and say, "I saw you sitting here... and just had to tell you... you have the cutest smile i've seen all day, I'm O."

 

[Richard]

Opening direct after sitting can work to, it reinforces the implicit interest you express in her when asking if the seat is taken.

 

[Marty]

Zphix:

If she's busy on a laptop etc., would you just interrupt with "Is this seat taken," or do you have a way to get her to make eye contact first?

Thanks
-Marty

 

[Richard]

I would personally go with:

"Hey, if you're not too busy, mind if I take this seat? I thought you were pretty cute, so I wanted to come say hello."

Worked for me in the past, if she's on her laptop and busy, like legit busy, then she may politely decline, if she's just doing whatever she will usually comply pretty readily.

 

[Marty]

"Hey, if you're not too busy, mind if I take this seat? I thought you were pretty cute, so I wanted to come say hello."

I really love this: it kind of appeals to "female logic" (i.e. illogic: male logic would say that if she's busy, you can take the seat and she'll ignore you, but in reality you're appealing to emotion). Gotta try it!

 

[Marty]

I would personally go with:

"Hey, if you're not too busy, mind if I take this seat? I thought you were pretty cute, so I wanted to come say hello."

Worked for me in the past, if she's on her laptop and busy, like legit busy, then she may politely decline, if she's just doing whatever she will usually comply pretty readily.

Tried this earlier this afternoon... it's really very smooth indeed. Got a number from a cute redhead who was in town for the day on business. Thank you!

 

[Light]

*Thumbs Up*

 

[PinotNoir]

"Hey, do you come here often?" (when she brushed past)

Please don't use this... Anything else is better.

If a girl brushes up next to you, I like, "Hey! Stop hitting on me" or "If you wanted to dance, you could have just asked" said with the right smile.

Really, just say anything. This has ruined some great opportunities for me when I couldn't think of anything. If you can't think of anything, use a fallback that is either a direct opener or an indirect opener:

Direct opener fallback: "Hi. I had to come over here. You are the cutest girl I've seen all day." This is if you can't think of anything intriguing about her that you like (such as fashion, hair, eyes, etc.).

Indirect opener fallback: "Hey, do you know where the Coffee shop is?" "Uh, you're in one." "Oh, right... really, I just wanted to come over and talk with a cute girl." It sounds dumb, but usually gets a smile and laugh.

There are obviously better approaches, but it's good to have a go-to fallback for when you can't think of anything. Just say "hi" at the very least.

 

[superomar]

Please don't use this... Anything else is better.

If a girl brushes up next to you, I like, "Hey! Stop hitting on me" or "If you wanted to dance, you could have just asked" said with the right smile.

Really, just say anything. This has ruined some great opportunities for me when I couldn't think of anything. If you can't think of anything, use a fallback that is either a direct opener or an indirect opener:

Direct opener fallback: "Hi. I had to come over here. You are the cutest girl I've seen all day." This is if you can't think of anything intriguing about her that you like (such as fashion, hair, eyes, etc.).

Indirect opener fallback: "Hey, do you know where the Coffee shop is?" "Uh, you're in one." "Oh, right... really, I just wanted to come over and talk with a cute girl." It sounds dumb, but usually gets a smile and laugh.

There are obviously better approaches, but it's good to have a go-to fallback for when you can't think of anything. Just say "hi" at the very least.

Nice input, thank you.