Hi,
This is my first post ever. I've dabbled in game over the years but really starting going hard last summer, and let me tell you it has been awesome. 250 approaches and 6 lays, all of which were interesting and unique (one was a girl standing on the street corner at 7 am who I approached on my ebike on the way to work). This stuff is life changing, so I wanted to thank Chase for his amazing writing and insights, as well as everyone else who contributes.
Anyways, here's my question. One of my favorite insights from the site (so far) is Chase's idea of doing warm up approaches. It really helps diminish approach anxiety to say to yourself "I'm just going to go say hi and flirt a little and then leave, and not go for the number." And then of course you get warmed up and suddenly it's not a problem to go approach girls. Chase himself says that it's important to not try to get anything (number, date etc.) from a warm up approach, because if you do then next time when you want to do some warm ups, your brain won't trust that it's just a warmup, and will have approach anxiety. But he also says you can get laid off of a warm up approach. Here's a quote from the grandmaster:
"If you view it as anything other than a warm-up, it’s not a warm-up; don’t let yourself hope for anything other than to warm up. She’s just a warm-up; if something else comes of that, cool, but that’s not the goal."
So my question is: how could something else come of a warmup, if you're not allowing it to be anything other than a warm up? The reason I'm asking is that it's pretty common for me to do a warmup, and the girl seems interested, but I don't know if I should push things forward or not, since I don't want to have approach anxiety next time I go to warm up (since my brain will think "this isn't a warm up this is a real approach"). I've even had a few warm ups where I tell the girl goodbye and she looks at me super weird as if she's thinking "you're not going to go for my number". Once I did a 180 and went for the number, and then we met up on a date. Even today, I did a warmup and the girl seemed interested. As a "hack" I gave her my number, and lo and behold she texted me and we might meet up tomorrow night.
I want to have a solid warmup routine, but not blow obvious opportunities while warming up! Any help would be much appreciated.
This is my first post ever. I've dabbled in game over the years but really starting going hard last summer, and let me tell you it has been awesome. 250 approaches and 6 lays, all of which were interesting and unique (one was a girl standing on the street corner at 7 am who I approached on my ebike on the way to work). This stuff is life changing, so I wanted to thank Chase for his amazing writing and insights, as well as everyone else who contributes.
Anyways, here's my question. One of my favorite insights from the site (so far) is Chase's idea of doing warm up approaches. It really helps diminish approach anxiety to say to yourself "I'm just going to go say hi and flirt a little and then leave, and not go for the number." And then of course you get warmed up and suddenly it's not a problem to go approach girls. Chase himself says that it's important to not try to get anything (number, date etc.) from a warm up approach, because if you do then next time when you want to do some warm ups, your brain won't trust that it's just a warmup, and will have approach anxiety. But he also says you can get laid off of a warm up approach. Here's a quote from the grandmaster:
"If you view it as anything other than a warm-up, it’s not a warm-up; don’t let yourself hope for anything other than to warm up. She’s just a warm-up; if something else comes of that, cool, but that’s not the goal."
So my question is: how could something else come of a warmup, if you're not allowing it to be anything other than a warm up? The reason I'm asking is that it's pretty common for me to do a warmup, and the girl seems interested, but I don't know if I should push things forward or not, since I don't want to have approach anxiety next time I go to warm up (since my brain will think "this isn't a warm up this is a real approach"). I've even had a few warm ups where I tell the girl goodbye and she looks at me super weird as if she's thinking "you're not going to go for my number". Once I did a 180 and went for the number, and then we met up on a date. Even today, I did a warmup and the girl seemed interested. As a "hack" I gave her my number, and lo and behold she texted me and we might meet up tomorrow night.
I want to have a solid warmup routine, but not blow obvious opportunities while warming up! Any help would be much appreciated.
