Opening -> Qualify her -> Sexualize -> Close.
As I mentioned earlier, your main issue is calibration and hitting the right timings for setting sexual frames - especially those frames that are a bit more explicit and that demands quite a bit of compliance from her.
Your template above is good in the sense that it works great on high momentum and it also works great on girls who display a high level of initial attraction towards you. It also works great on girls who have a default positive view on sex.
But if that is lacking, then you are simply taking too many shortcuts. As I mentioned in my earlier responses to this thread - using sexual reframes to counter ASD is indeed a powerful and useful tool, but it is not a magical bullet that serves as a "get out of jail free card" in every situation. The rules of calibration trumps everything.
At this point it is fully calibrated to begin sexualization, for which I start with sexual hoops not so explicit as "what is the craziest thing you ever done?" Or "How adventure are you?" or anything like that.
If this is true that you have established a solid foundation of social and sexual frames before going for the ballsy move, and you still get a resistance then it is clearly a sign that you are still going to fast.
You can try to bust the ASD right there and then. But if this doesn't work, then... I would ignore her resistance at that point with a simple "oh I see" and change subject for a bit and work further on establishing a good foundation trough social frames (investment, social value, social proof etc) as well as setting lighter sexual frames that I know she is more likely to
accept. The reason this is key is because making her accept a frame generates a positive compliance hoop making it more likely that she will accept the next frames you are trying to set.
And those sexual frames that I will be setting will basically serve as ASD-busters (framing sex as natural, not a big deal, showing lowkeyness etc) however there is one big difference taking place here: I am not using those ASD-Busters reactively anymore, but proactively, as I am not directly responding to her resistance (since I just "accepted it" and moved on). This is key because I am not buying directly into her negative ASD frame. It doesn't give her frame the power that I would have given if I had responded reactively.
Additionally I avoid the whole "battling her frame" and showing direct "disagreement" since I am not confronting her (ASD) frame anymore. After all, I accepted it - "I understand", and I moved on, and yet as I moved on I covertly change her frame without her necessarily noticing.
Now this is:
- Persistence (I take a step back, accept her resistance, and then set a better foundation and then proceed with what I was originally doing
- Pacing and LEADING, since I accept her ASD-Frame "I understand" (Pacing), which lowers her guard, and then I change subject for a bit... and THEN I use and the ASD buster pro-actively (or seemingly so - which constitutes the "Leading" aspect of pacing and leading)
I found your stuff and I realized how effective is to sexualize in set, so I started using them but your ASD busters prevent ASD but many times resistance will come anyway and we have to deal with it.
Again:
- Try to avoid generating ASD in the first place by establishing a solid foundation of social and sexual frames. Your whole "Opening -> Qualify her -> Sexualize -> Close" is clearly too simplistic and it makes total sense why this would at time generate resistance.
- Avoid setting frames that forces her to make a bold call (she is risk averse and her response will very rarely be in your favor). An example of such a question is "What is the dirtiest/craziest (sexually speaking) thing you have ever done?".
- If ASD occurs try to use a direct ASD buster.
- If this does not work, just accept her frame "I understand, that's cool I respect that" (Pacing), then change subject into something else, and then go back to setting sexual frame that, in this case would seem more like frames that could proactively destroy her ASD without her truly noticing.
- If this still don't work, try another strategy - walk away, talk to other girls, establish a jealousy plot and see if this increase of compliance would make it easier for you to bust her ASD. Again if something truly doesn't work with X girl, then change it up.
There is not much more I can say right here.
but some girls immediately show resistance toward sexual topics (I guess Madonna issues).
Madonna/whore complex is a male complex and not a female complex.
She doesnt acept my sexual frame and If I keep trying to put a sexual frame on her, I will keep getting Negative Compliance.
This is why you set lighter sexual frames and build up the positive compliance loop. This is also why you use pacing and leading whenever she is not complying - by accepting her frame, and change subject for a bit and then covertly reframe her ASD pro-actively.
Pacing and Leading also works for dealing with this (you put some examples in the Pacing and Leading post, but it was a short post, not really detailed) but what I struggle is in the leading part because the use of words like "However", "But", "at the other hand" tend to force the sexual frame you wanna put and result in more resistance from her. Maybe I have been studying Pacing and Leading but I dont get it right.
No it is not forcing a frame. It is "suggesting" a frame. The difference is crucial. I am not saying "You are X and Y", but saying "But... consider that maybe X and Y are true for a moment".
Very big difference.
I find Pacing and Leading worsening her resistance instead of winning her over.
Based on the examples you provided I can totally see why that is. I have already said what I had to say about it and I suggest you apply the suggested solutions before repeating over and over again the same question in the same post.
"Sex Talk is also less prone to trigger resistance (if done right), and if you happen to face some, you will have an easier time dealing with it" ( but you dont explain how to do that when you face those resistance at least in a detailed way of your method)
I cannot and I will not repeat my whole game in every single one of my post, especially when the subject has been covered multiple times before. I have written numerous times how I deal with resistance and everything mentioned here in this thread are things I have covered in the past.
Again, force framing is always what I am seeing, in the UMP example and in your example
Ok if you consider the statement "I am sure you love sex... but...." force-framing then I think we are truly talking past each other because the moment I mention "I am sure you love sex" I do follow up with the "but" which basically shows understanding of her resistance ("pacing"). The mere fact that she loves sex is a truism and not an act of force framing.
Again apply the solutions suggested - go out, write a detailed field report and if there are still some flaws it will be easier to pinpoint them. Until then I wish you good luck on your next outing. I am looking forward to reading your report.
-Teevster
