Questions on pulling on first dates, e.g. always pull, when ready to pull, etc.

[The Byronic Man]

1. If I'm not sure I can pull her, and I want to have a second date with her, will the best thing to do is to end the night and just give her a peck on the cheek? I read that tactic from some other PUA (I think Christian Hudson)...the idea is that it's unexpected (most guys go for a kiss on the LIPS) and builds intrigue.

2. How do I know if she's ready to pull? I know this is a calibration thing and experience will teach me the signs, but if I can get some advice here, I'd learn a lot quicker. One chick made it obvious (now that I look back at the date), but I don't think most girls will.

3. How bad is it if I try to pull and she's not ready? Does that make her go cold after the date and make a second date near impossible?

 

[PrettyDecent]

Re: Questions on pulling on first dates, e.g. always pull, when ready to pull, e

Hey Byronic Man,

1. If I'm not sure I can pull her, and I want to have a second date with her, will the best thing to do is to end the night and just give her a peck on the cheek? I read that tactic from some other PUA (I think Christian Hudson)...the idea is that it's unexpected (most guys go for a kiss on the LIPS) and builds intrigue.

I think it's unexpected if she already sees you as a sexual man and you carry good fundamentals. Otherwise, you'd probably look like a noob. Excellent to hear you are pulling dates regularly, so use this as an opportunity to try and pull every single date to see the signs of her being interested in coming home with you or not. That's how you'll get the experience the fastest, and you'll assimilate what you could do on the date better for next time (usually, whether she'll transition with you or not depends on something you did or did not do earlier in the date).

2. How do I know if she's ready to pull? I know this is a calibration thing and experience will teach me the signs, but if I can get some advice here, I'd learn a lot quicker. One chick made it obvious (now that I look back at the date), but I don't think most girls will.

Yeah, check out what I wrote above. But generally, it'll be her hinting or moving the subject toward your place at unexpected times. Like -
- "So how far is your house?"
- "Do you have any roommates?"
- "Where are you staying?"

Things of this sort.

3. How bad is it if I try to pull and she's not ready? Does that make her go cold after the date and make a second date near impossible?

Eh, maybe. But you need to have those experiences to gauge correctly in the future. And remember that for any transition, it's best to move at a high point, since those are inherently the least stable parts of an interaction.

Jake

 

[The Byronic Man]

Re: Questions on pulling on first dates, e.g. always pull, when ready to pull, e

But generally, it'll be her hinting or moving the subject toward your place at unexpected times. Like -
- "So how far is your house?"
- "Do you have any roommates?"
- "Where are you staying?"

Things of this sort.

Thanks, Jake. So you've found that she'll ALWAYS give out verbal hints? I was hoping that I won't have to rely on hints and rely more on her body language (e.g. her becoming comfortable with heavy kino), etc. if verbal hints are not 100% reliable.

P.S. All my dates lately have been from online dating sites, so it's not much to be proud about (but I'm still getting valuable experience). Once I'm done with my studies, I'll dedicate time to approaching women in real life. Until then, it's incidental, e.g. bump into someone at the grocery store, etc.

 

[PrettyDecent]

Re: Questions on pulling on first dates, e.g. always pull, when ready to pull, e

But generally, it'll be her hinting or moving the subject toward your place at unexpected times. Like -
- "So how far is your house?"
- "Do you have any roommates?"
- "Where are you staying?"

Things of this sort.

Thanks, Jake. So you've found that she'll ALWAYS give out verbal hints? I was hoping that I won't have to rely on hints and rely more on her body language (e.g. her becoming comfortable with heavy kino), etc. if verbal hints are not 100% reliable.

They won't always be verbal. Sometimes they'll just kiss you . Verbal hints are more "TAKE ACTION NOW" kind of things. And generally here, you'll give her a knowing smile, change the topic for a few seconds, and then invite her home.

Some girls are just way, way shy, and they'll never touch the issue with a 10 foot stick. In which case, you pull at a high point.

The reason I brought up verbal hints is because the first one to deal with the issue of "where do we go after our date" kind of thing, is the one who is seen as chasing. It's just a subtle power dynamic to keep in mind, but if she is OBVIOUSLY into you, taking your sexual/chase frames well, then the feeling is mutual and you can pull while it's still seen as her chasing you.

Jake

 

[The Tool]

Re: Questions on pulling on first dates, e.g. always pull, when ready to pull, e

Decent pretty much got everything covered so I just want to add a lil somin somin


With pulling i've found you only really get a signal or a hint when you have draged a date on too long. The hint is her essentially putting it out there that she wants you to TAKE ACTION in a not so obvious way.

I have found with pulling on the first date that should typically come around within an hour and a half to two hours of a date (if you have been deep diving and doing everything up to snuff). I.E a dinner or coffee date. You pull on a high point when she is laughing and having a good time. (if she has been having a good time and is engaged in conversation and enjoys your company thats how you know you can try for the pull. If she seems disinterested or shut off this shows you not really)

Example (been an hour and a half into a coffee date.)
Girl just got done laughing at something sly uve said or just got done telling you about something exciting she has done.

you "I'm having a good time tonight and I'm thinking this night is to young to end dont you?

Her "yea"
You "And your having a good time right?"

Her "yea!"

You "Then how about we go watch (insert Tv show here) to let this night continue.

Her "sure"

Boom. Pulled.


I have a post coming up that im working on for first dates.Its essentially the "script" I have used for my first dates. been reviewing it with Zyphix (Raved about it along with another member of the board. And I hope to have it for you guys soon.

Cheers, The Tool

 

[The Byronic Man]

Re: Questions on pulling on first dates, e.g. always pull, when ready to pull, e

The Tool, I look forward to that post. The script in your example looks very smooth! Looks like you've even employed a yes ladder in there!

 

[PrettyDecent]

Re: Questions on pulling on first dates, e.g. always pull, when ready to pull, e

I have a post coming up that im working on for first dates.Its essentially the "script" I have used for my first dates. been reviewing it with Zyphix (Raved about it along with another member of the board. And I hope to have it for you guys soon.

Sounds excellent brother; can't wait to see it.

Jake