Quick Shut-Down Move for Impassioned Arguments

[Chase]

If you've ever found yourself on the receiving end of an emotionally-laden diatribe, you know how stunning / startling / confusing these can be to get hit with. Someone decided that you're a bad person because you vote for the other political party, or you support some cause he/she detests, or don't support some cause he/she adores, or you subscribe to a different religion, or none at all, or whatever, and launches into this string of ridiculous, over-the-top accusations, resorting to name-calling, shaming, verbal beat downs, and all kinds of negative stuff.

What do you do?

Here's an easy one - just remain calm, stay silent, pay rapt attention without showing any hint of emotion, then wait until the person has completely exhausted him or herself on emotional B.S., and then, once the diatribe has sputtered to a stop, say, almost as if you're about to start laughing:

That argument doesn’t even make sense.

Then stop and just stare at him/her as if you're trying to contain the laughter. Don't say WHY the argument doesn't make sense... don't go into details. Just give it the hook.

The result? Congratulations, you have just stolen the thunder, and now instead of this person trying his/her mightiest to get you to explain yourself to him/her, he/she is going to go back, cover the argument again in more logical terms, and try to explain himself/herself to you.

Chase

 

[trashKENNUT]

Then stop and just stare at him/her as if you're trying to contain the laughter. Don't say WHY the argument doesn't make sense... don't go into details. Just give it the hook.

The result? Congratulations, you have just stolen the thunder, and now instead of this person trying his/her mightiest to get you to explain yourself to him/her, he/she is going to go back, cover the argument again in more logical terms, and try to explain himself/herself to you.

I used "Huh.....?" in a slower, thinking it's ridiculously lame, and all sudden, and it works wonders too. i think the body language, the response, here is more important.

Zac

 

[Jay]

This response does work wonders. Especially when you are being publicly challenged this is great, and completely throws off 99% of challengers.

Another thing I like to do that is slightly related is when someone attempts to insult you or call you out on something, turn to them and say "What?" in a nonchalant way like you didn't even hear what they said. Having to repeat an insult/jab severely weakens its potency and makes the person saying it look foolish as hell.

 

[Chase]

Zac / Jay-

Absolutely, on the huh? / what? making them repeat themselves. Shuts things down faster than an on/off switch!

Chase

 

[Knight]

Zac / Jay-

Absolutely, on the huh? / what? making them repeat themselves. Shuts things down faster than an on/off switch!

Chase

I've noticed my good friend who had this stuff down when he was in primary school use this more times than I can count to others and myself. It's fun lately when one of us makes a silly comment (quite often) and we both try to shut each-other down. It used to be extremely hard to combat his technique but I'm catching up fast. If you have a close friend who is where you want to be or close to it, trying stuff like this on eachother can be great for when you're using it for real with other men/women. Especially as close friends often joke around.

- Knight

 

[Chase]

I've noticed my good friend who had this stuff down when he was in primary school use this more times than I can count to others and myself. It's fun lately when one of us makes a silly comment (quite often) and we both try to shut each-other down. It used to be extremely hard to combat his technique but I'm catching up fast. If you have a close friend who is where you want to be or close to it, trying stuff like this on eachother can be great for when you're using it for real with other men/women. Especially as close friends often joke around.

- Knight

As an interesting aside, you'll notice that the girls who are absolutely the BEST at "call out" moves like this where they just call you out and make you feel like a fool actually aren't the "bitches" they appear to be, but are really girls who like to joke around a lot with their girlfriends and have a really sarcastic style of wit.

Most of the time when you run into a girl and say something and she responds with a snappy, "What?" she's actually playing something of a game, and trying to see how long it takes you to crack (she's paying more attention to nonverbal cues than verbal cues here). She probably does the same thing with her girlfriends while hanging out (Girl 1: "blah blah" Girl 2: "Excuse me... what?" Girl 1: "What what?" Girl 2: "No... I said 'what' first." Girl 1: "What?" Girl 2: "Ugh... what?").

Chase

 

[Knight]

I've noticed my good friend who had this stuff down when he was in primary school use this more times than I can count to others and myself. It's fun lately when one of us makes a silly comment (quite often) and we both try to shut each-other down. It used to be extremely hard to combat his technique but I'm catching up fast. If you have a close friend who is where you want to be or close to it, trying stuff like this on eachother can be great for when you're using it for real with other men/women. Especially as close friends often joke around.

- Knight

As an interesting aside, you'll notice that the girls who are absolutely the BEST at "call out" moves like this where they just call you out and make you feel like a fool actually aren't the "bitches" they appear to be, but are really girls who like to joke around a lot with their girlfriends and have a really sarcastic style of wit.

Most of the time when you run into a girl and say something and she responds with a snappy, "What?" she's actually playing something of a game, and trying to see how long it takes you to crack (she's paying more attention to nonverbal cues than verbal cues here). She probably does the same thing with her girlfriends while hanging out (Girl 1: "blah blah" Girl 2: "Excuse me... what?" Girl 1: "What what?" Girl 2: "No... I said 'what' first." Girl 1: "What?" Girl 2: "Ugh... what?").

Chase

Would the correct way to get past people who employ this tactic just to overlook it? Or if they're doing it often would it be appropriate to use Operant Conditioning? I feel like if I used that tactic on someone I would come off strange - that's probably from a lack of ever doing it though.

 

[Chase]

Knight-

Would the correct way to get past people who employ this tactic just to overlook it? Or if they're doing it often would it be appropriate to use Operant Conditioning? I feel like if I used that tactic on someone I would come off strange - that's probably from a lack of ever doing it though.

You can't ignore it completely and keep going through whatever you were going to say, or it looks like you're running some kind of script. Normally you'd want to get some compliance here, but if a girl's audacious enough to "What??" you, she clearly has little respect for you whatsoever. So your best bet here isn't actually starting out with compliance - it's pissing her off first, then calming her down. Doesn't always work, but it's the best shot you have at doing a value reset and getting her seeing you as more in control than she is.

• 
  You: Must be a hell of a read [gesturing to book she's reading].
  Girl: [looking up] What?
  You: [after a pause] How's 13 treating you?
  Girl: Excuse me?
  You: 13. That's how old the girls I went to junior high with were when they did the whole "what" thing.
  Girl: [blank stare]
  You: [very calmly] Relax. I'm giving you a hard time. You seem like an okay person - you like reading, after all. What's in the book?

At this point, she's either going to tell you, and you can proceed, or she's going to get pissy - "Why are you talking to me?" - at which point she's really just an unhappy person that you're not going to enjoy talking to or being around (you can answer that with, "You know what? Clearly I made a mistake. Forgive my intrusion," and gracefully bow out). If she tells you what she's reading:

If she tells you what she's reading, pay rapt attention, then say, "That's interesting," then zone out and drift off into space. Turn your head slightly, but not completely, away and look off into the distance. At this point, she's either going to reengage you, and you're in, or she isn't, and you can try to pick up talking to her again and see if she's any warmer the second time around.

Chase

 

[trashKENNUT]

BUMP