Hey everyone. Back with a field report and my second time actually trying to REALLY talk to a girl and it was a nice learning experience and it exposed quite a few problem areas but I honestly wish it could have gone better because while talking to her, I actually grew to like her a bit more than intended. So here's what happened…
Before I went home to retire I decided to go to a local coffee shop I frequent. I stopped in at around 7:40 to talk to some friends, get some coffee then be on my way. Interestingly, instead of being met with a gaggle of over-caffeinated mildly hyperactive friends, I notice there is only one girl behind the counte. I'd seen her before but hadn't really bothered talking to that much. She's nice and cute but when I first discovered the shop I had my eyes set on one of the other workers (this was before I discovered Chase so I was pretty much in full chase mode) and later on when she told me she had a boyfriend, I basically went into auto-rejection and said, "Ah forget this place." I kept coming cause the coffee was good and the staff was nice but I had mentally decided that I was just gonna treat it as my place to relax after that "incident". After reading Chase however, and actually trying to apply what I read, I finally decided to step up and try my hand with someone in my social circle (since every time I go out I typically don't talk to ANYBODY). So I start talking to her and place my order and contine with some normal chit chat. She comes back with my drink and I notice it's the largest size the had. I didn't worry about it figuring she may have misheard me or something. "Well, how much is the large." And she said, "$Free.99!" I said, "Wow thanks." Joked with her about the tip and said I'd wait for her to come back so she could see me put it in. I know Chase said not to use humor/wit too much but I'm just not sure what else to do to make sure I'm having fun while interacting. Last time I tried to deep dive a girl I didn't know, I ended up flubbing it so I sort of reverted to using wit. However, I did insert a couple of teasing comments, and tried to make it about us and her. For example, she was looking at the time and apparently I had come right before they were closing so it was just me and her (I never come during the week so I didn't know their weekday hours haha) and she said, "Oh wow it's 8:30 you're talking my ear off!" And I said, "As if you don't enjoy my company." And she laughed a bit and we kept talking. Not sure if I was overt enough in my comment though.
Here's where the FU comes in…
Later in the night when the conversation was getting a little dry she asked me what I was up to tonight. I know I need to be more confident and assume attraction, but I let my fear of not saying the right things + the fear of her talking about it to my other friends who work there take over and just said, "I dunno, just gonna work on something for my other job what about you?" And she returned with her just watching some TV show online. Then we walked out and she went to take the trash out but it was further than I thought and she asked if I was gonna walk with her the whole way and I just said, "Oh you have to go all the way down there? Nah that's pretty far I'm gonna wait here." And turn around and wait I did. Not sure if that's what you guys mean when you say to not be submissive. I honestly didn't want to go all the way down there. But it pulled my heart strings a bit as well cause I almost never do that to people, let alone women! So she got back we talked for a bit and then she said she had to go and we parted ways.
So guys, what do you think? Be as honest as possible because I REALLY want to improve but I'm not sure what to do, though I guess one thing is just growing some huevos and pulling the trigger. Thanks for any help you can provide.
Cheers,
RYNO
Before I went home to retire I decided to go to a local coffee shop I frequent. I stopped in at around 7:40 to talk to some friends, get some coffee then be on my way. Interestingly, instead of being met with a gaggle of over-caffeinated mildly hyperactive friends, I notice there is only one girl behind the counte. I'd seen her before but hadn't really bothered talking to that much. She's nice and cute but when I first discovered the shop I had my eyes set on one of the other workers (this was before I discovered Chase so I was pretty much in full chase mode) and later on when she told me she had a boyfriend, I basically went into auto-rejection and said, "Ah forget this place." I kept coming cause the coffee was good and the staff was nice but I had mentally decided that I was just gonna treat it as my place to relax after that "incident". After reading Chase however, and actually trying to apply what I read, I finally decided to step up and try my hand with someone in my social circle (since every time I go out I typically don't talk to ANYBODY). So I start talking to her and place my order and contine with some normal chit chat. She comes back with my drink and I notice it's the largest size the had. I didn't worry about it figuring she may have misheard me or something. "Well, how much is the large." And she said, "$Free.99!" I said, "Wow thanks." Joked with her about the tip and said I'd wait for her to come back so she could see me put it in. I know Chase said not to use humor/wit too much but I'm just not sure what else to do to make sure I'm having fun while interacting. Last time I tried to deep dive a girl I didn't know, I ended up flubbing it so I sort of reverted to using wit. However, I did insert a couple of teasing comments, and tried to make it about us and her. For example, she was looking at the time and apparently I had come right before they were closing so it was just me and her (I never come during the week so I didn't know their weekday hours haha) and she said, "Oh wow it's 8:30 you're talking my ear off!" And I said, "As if you don't enjoy my company." And she laughed a bit and we kept talking. Not sure if I was overt enough in my comment though.
Here's where the FU comes in…
Later in the night when the conversation was getting a little dry she asked me what I was up to tonight. I know I need to be more confident and assume attraction, but I let my fear of not saying the right things + the fear of her talking about it to my other friends who work there take over and just said, "I dunno, just gonna work on something for my other job what about you?" And she returned with her just watching some TV show online. Then we walked out and she went to take the trash out but it was further than I thought and she asked if I was gonna walk with her the whole way and I just said, "Oh you have to go all the way down there? Nah that's pretty far I'm gonna wait here." And turn around and wait I did. Not sure if that's what you guys mean when you say to not be submissive. I honestly didn't want to go all the way down there. But it pulled my heart strings a bit as well cause I almost never do that to people, let alone women! So she got back we talked for a bit and then she said she had to go and we parted ways.
So guys, what do you think? Be as honest as possible because I REALLY want to improve but I'm not sure what to do, though I guess one thing is just growing some huevos and pulling the trigger. Thanks for any help you can provide.
Cheers,
RYNO
