Rag's Newbie Assignment

[Rag]

Hi, everyone!

Let me start by giving you a brief introduction about myself. My name is Ragnar and I’m in my mid-twenties. I've always been quiet and shy. When it comes to women I've focused on being the nice guy hiding his banana. This of course has left me with little to no results. I’m a good listener so when I actually manage to get into a conversation with some girl. I’m able to get her talking about herself. But I’d always end up in the friend zone.

GirlsChase has given me inspiration and a completely new perspective on women. I used to think the “right one” would somehow just show up one day out clubbing with friends. Yeah… not exactly the best plan. Now, reading this blog, I know better.

I've been cursed with social anxiety my whole life. When I got invitations I would say no because I was afraid of what might happen. It was out of my comfort zone. My mind was creating a lot of “what ifs” where I'd visualize the worst cases. So I would usually just end up being home by myself watching TV or playing video games.

A few years back I came to realize that this is not how I want to live my life. I don’t want to be sitting at home wanting to do stuff. So I decided it was time to say good bye to that good old social anxiety and get started with my life! I started challenging myself little by little. And when my brain would work against me telling me, “This is not normal for you, turn around!”. I’d tell it to go F’ itself and continue what I had planned. And every time I’d be glad I did.

This has worked great except for when it comes to women. Therefore, after reading the GirsChase blog for a while and registering on this forum. I've decided to try out the Newbie Assignment. I’m eager to start meeting beautiful, smart, fun, simply amazing women.

I've seen the progress that Nino and Stef has made following up on the assignment. It helped me decide to start to. Thanks to you both.

Since my finals are coming up next week, I've come to the conclusion that I will start on the assignment first thing on the new year after all the Christmas fuss.

Thank you for stopping by.

 

[Franco]

Hi Rag,

Welcome to the boards!

I'm glad to hear that the success of nino and DigitalStef has inspired you to take on the Newbie Assignment and climb to higher grounds in your life. All of the members on this board are extremely positive and helpful and will surely provide you feedback along the way.

The Newbie Assignment is an excellent way to get started. It also makes for an absolutely fantastic New Year's Resolution!

We look forward to seeing your progress in the Field Reports!

- Franco

 

[Rag]

Thank you!

That's what I really like about this forum. Everybody's always being so positive and supportive sharing their knowledge.

Hopefully the Assignment will give me a good start in the New Year

 

[Rag]

Pre-Assigment

Since I found the GC-blog and started reading it, I've been working on my posture and walk. I have to say, it's amazing how well it's worked! In addition I recently got myself a new haircut. While I didn't dress very well today, girls were still checking ME out. Maybe they'll run away as soon as I open my mouth.

 

[nino]

Re: Pre-Assigment

Maybe they'll run away as soon as I open my mouth.

Or they'll happily stay because you approached them Looking forward to following you!

 

[Rag]

Or they'll happily stay because you approached them Looking forward to following you!

Hopefully so!

Finally my finals are over, joy! I wasn't really think about starting until the New Year, but I'm so excited to start on it now that I actually have some time. Therefore, today, I started Day 1 one on the Newbie Assignment. Report will be posted shortly.

 

[Rag]

Assignment Day 1 - Scouting for locations

Objective
Visit at least four different locations, observing their amount of foot traffic from women.

Preparations
Before I went out I checked out online for different cafeterias and found a few that I wanted to check out. I also read the recommended blog-posts mentioned in the assignment description.

Conduct
Location 1 – A mall:
Started by taking the bus in to the city to visit my first location, the mall. It was pretty crowded, Christmas fuzz and all. There were a lot of people, but among them, there were a lot of beautiful women. Many of them in groups, but some were also walking about alone. Will definitely be going back here.

One thing I found myself doing when I was in the mall was that I started browsing the stores because I found it a bit odd to just hang around some place and just look for a long period of time.

Location 2 – A bookstore:
This was a rather large bookstore and there were a few beautiful women there. Think I will have this as an alternative to go to as I like browsing the bookstore.

Location 3 – Another mall:
This one had a higher percentage of women passing through it than men. This will definitely be a place I’ll visit often.

Location 4 – The Library:
This place had some beautiful women. Many were busy studying or reading. Think I will go back in the New Year and check again as it wasn’t too many people there today.

Location 5 – Another mall:
More or less like the first mall I visited. Great to have the opportunity to change up the mall scenery.

I checked out 3-4 cafeterias, but none of them were really any place I’d like to return to. They were either small and crowded or totally empty. The time I checked them out it was around the time most people get off work, so that might be why some where empty. So I will try to find some other cafeterias to check out in the New Year and maybe check out some of the ones I visited today.

After thoughts
As I was walking between theses location I observed plenty of beautiful girls in the streets. Thinking about how I’d like to approach them, I can't think of a way that seems naturally to me.

There was this one episode were a good looking girls was walking towards me. When she was a few steps away, she slipped and almost fell. I didn't come up with any good comments to approach her. But a few moments after I came up with something that maybe could have worked: “Hi, cool trick!” And take it from there somehow.

All in all it’s been a fun day. Seen a lot of girls. Found some places that I will go to during and after the assignment.

But I will go out tomorrow to check out some other cafeterias. And perhaps a bar or nightclub to have a few more alternatives.

 

[Garrett]

Hey Rag!

Firstly, I wanted to say, it's great what you are doing with this experiment of yours! I think the way you are starting out to improve yourself is effective, as you are initially finding the most ideal of locations to learn to improve your game. If you need motivation, look at it like this... your efforts among those of others on this site, are helping people on this forum so we learn from your experiences, similar to how we learn from Chase!

By the way, I remember Chase posting an article in regards to where the most ideal locations to meet women are, and keep in mind that if you are trying to meet girls at the mall, you have to make sure your efforts are discrete, as it is a lot easier to cause a scene in a mall than it is on the street (getting kicked out of stores for example). If you are seeing beautiful women on the street, you can also use the street as a viable option for day game!

In addition, I understand how difficult it is to try and improve your game as well as trying to keep your grades up. You're fortunate that you can take advantage of your free time to improve your game, I'm a bit younger and due to unfortunate circumstances, I'm not able to get my logistics to the level I'd like them to be at, but that will change in a few years!

Anyways, goodluck, and looking forward to hearing more about your experiment in the future!
Garrett

 

[Rag]

Hi, Garrett!

I think so to, this way I force myself to be out there trying things I've never done before. And by posting my progress here I can view my progress and see what I'm doing and analyse it later, as others can as well.

Yeah, I've read that article, and you're right that one has to be discrete when approaching girls at the mall. I'll keep that in mind as I go about my approaches in malls.

Well, you're lucky to start out at a young age! My logistics aren't that good either as there's a 15 minute buss ride from my home to the town center.


Rag

 

[Rag]

Assignment Day 2 - Posture

Assignment Day 2 - Posture

Objective
Observe other peoples posture, and improve my own posture.

Conduct
Spent a few hours today observing other peoples postures. What I got from this, is that people who walk around with good posture does seem more respectable and at ease with themselves. Those who looked around a lot and had a poor posture didn't look respectable at all. Most likely they're just uncomfortable with their surroundings as I used to be.

Improving my own posture, as I've been doing recently, do give me more looks my way. And it makes me feel better and more confident.

After thoughts
Still, I keep getting a feeling that people who looks away (not making eye-contact) when I walk by are not taking a liking to me, either my looks or the signals my body are sending out being the cause of it. Maybe its just my mind doing worst-case thinking here. Of course one can't be liked by everybody though.

Anyways, having a good posture is an absolute necessity.

 

[Rag]

Assignment Day 3 - Eye contact

Assignment Day 3 - Eye contact

Objective
Make and hold eye contact with at least ten (10) people, and see how long I can hold eye contact with each person for.

Conduct
#1, guy on bus. As I walked inwards to find a seat. I locked my eyes on a guy. He kept his eyes on me til I looked sideways a few steps before I walked by him and found myself a seat. Felt a bit awkward keeping eye contact for this long. Not what I'd normally do. His face was stone cold. Felt mildly intimidated by this one.

#2, girl walking on the street. Not to good looking. Initiated eye contact with her. She kept hers on mine for a few seconds then looked down as we walked past each other.

#3, girl waiting for her friend standing in line to buy clothes. She kept her eyes locked on mine all the way til i walked by and looked away continuing on my path. During she kept a normal face, as did I.

#4, guy on the street. He looked down immediately as I looked at him.

#5, girl sitting down in the mall. As I was walking by, she was looking up at me. Locked my eyes on hers. After a few seconds she moved her eyes and started looking straight forward. Think she assessed me as older an uninteresting than her.

#6, guy in the cafeteria. As he walked to find a seat after giving his order I initiated eye contact. He looked to the side and found his seat.

#7, girl in the mall. This one kept her eyes on me a few seconds then looked to the side.

#8, woman on the bus. She looked down immediately after I locked my eyes on hers.

#9, girl on the bus. She looked down immediately after i locked my eyes on hers.

During this buss ride I might have been looking a bit awkward as I was looking around a few times for people to make eye contact with. On the same buss ride there were two women sitting right in front of me, facing me. I could't make myself to make eye contact with them. Think this might be because of them sitting so close.

#10, on my way into a grocery store. A good looking girl, a bit taller than me, was walking towards me. I locked my eyes on her early. After a while she took her eyes of mine looking down to the right, and turning her head to the right. She did this with what seemed to me to be a transition from having an aloof to an angry face. Not sure what to make of this.

There were others as well, but these were the most memorable worth mentioning.

After thoughts
Holding eye contact for so long with people I weren't thinking of talking to was a new thing for me. Since reading this blog-post Elite Eye Contact. I've been avoiding eye contact until I would speak with someone.

What I can conclude is that I'm comfortable with making eye contact with people. But I think that I do put on an aloof face. And on that buss ride I think I may have been looking a bit like a creepy guy looking around to much.

Another thing to note is that in most of the cases I didn't feel anything special, like fear or anxiety. Except for case #1 and #10. #1 made me feel uncertain and intimidated but it went over fast. #10, she kind of made me feel uncertain about how i present myself. Whether my looks are good enough. What my non-verbals are communicating and so forth.

 

[Addicted2height]

All I do with eye contact to keep from feeling uncomfable is just say "hi" or "how's your day going"
If they don't reply then not worth worrying about.
If they do reply/smile and their cute then that's more of a reason to smile!

 

[Rag]

All I do with eye contact to keep from feeling uncomfable is just say "hi" or "how's your day going"
If they don't reply then not worth worrying about.
If they do reply/smile and their cute then that's more of a reason to smile!

Yeah, it really is as simple as that. Thanks for the reply.

First night out alone

Before going out I read the blog-posts on girlschase about going out alone while listening to upbeat music. I was excited and horrified. I barely managed to leave the house. But I did.

Arriving at the first venue, a familiar bar, I have forgotten literally everything I’ve ever read on the girlschase blog. I sat down at the bar and ordered a beer. It was a strange feeling sitting there alone while everyone was out with someone. And there I sat trying to figure out my next move. Who can I engage in a conversation with here? As I was finishing my beer I noticed a free table next to the entrance by a window. I did get some strange looks from some of the people there and the security guards. I ordered another beer and sat down at that table. At the table next to me two girls were seated. They both looked good, but one of them caught my interest more. There were many opportunities for me to approach her, but I never did get my but off of that chair. After my second beer I left.

Somewhat frustrated I walked on to the next venue I had planned. It was pretty empty this early in the evening. This gave me the opportunity to look around the place. This place was huge. Found myself a comfy sofa to sit in and enjoy my third beer while waiting for the place to fill up. After an hour people started arriving. I took another walk around the place. No luck getting in a conversation with anyone on my initiative, my mouth was frozen. After a while this woman came and sat down next to me. She was okay looking. I introduced myself and we talked for some time. Mid-conversation as I look away she leans in and steals a kiss. And I remember thinking, “Where did that come from? She must be a tad crazy or something.” Needless to say, I was quite surprised at this. The kiss was short and terrible. After that she continues as it never happened, so do I. I keep letting her do most of the talking asking a few questions here and there. A bit later the music got louder and I couldn’t understand what she was saying. I put on the skeptical look. And she kept talking, trying to explain what she was talking about I guess. Next thing I did was to suggest we move somewhere else, more calm. She responded that she enjoyed herself were we were.

A bartender comes by and asks us if we’d like some more to drink. I look over to the girl I’m talking with and ask if she’d like something. She says yes. I order us two beers. While waiting for the beers she asks who should pay. I say, “You pay for yours, I pay for mine.” And smile. She puts on a big smile and kisses me. Caught me off guard and surprised me this time too.

Few moments later some girls sits down on the sofa next to her, all of them more attractive than the one I’m talking to. One of them introduces herself to the girl I’m talking to. I overhear the conversation. I hear the girl I’ve been talking to get asked if we’re a couple. She responds with, “Yes, for two years now”. “What?!”, I thought. Not sure how to deal with this I let it slide. Didn’t want her to be embarrassed by me telling them she’s lying.

Later she says she needs to go to the toilet and wants me to go with her. I go with her knowing I shouldn’t. While waiting for her to finish I have to take a leak too, so I do thinking she’ll be waiting outside when I’m done. When I come out I can’t find here anywhere, nor can I find those other girls. I decide to go home, the place is about to close anyway.

Well, what to get from this night. I broke a new barrier by going out alone. Going out alone was strange and tough. Got to try some of the stuff I’ve read on the girlschase blog (Don’t pay for her drink. The skeptical-look. Deep-Dive. Tried to mover her). I’ll definitely be going out alone more from now on.
What I do need to get at is actually doing some approaches. Good thing this is the next thing on the assignment.


Out with friends
This was a dull night. My friends were all about us finding a place for everyone to sit together. Neither of them was keen on approaching, guess they are like me when it comes to girls. What I want to ask is, how can I go about breaking free from them without letting them down or being disrespectful. I could say I have to use the restroom and take off, but that seems a bit dishonest to me.

 

[nino]

Nice progress I think man! Even though you felt uncomfortable you got out and broke a first barrier which is the toughest thing. Interesting encounter you had with that girl as well. Only thing I would have done differently was to actually say you're not her boyfriend because that let her take control. You didn't know her and since she wasn't super good looking nor in a normal state (I'm guessing she was drunk) I doubt you would want to continue to see her anyway so who cares if she's mad? Mad girls are cute girls! At that point I would have just let go and continue to hunt for some more girls.

Keep it up though, looking forward to more!

 

[Chase]

Rag,

Later she says she needs to go to the toilet and wants me to go with her. I go with her knowing I shouldn’t. While waiting for her to finish I have to take a leak too, so I do thinking she’ll be waiting outside when I’m done. When I come out I can’t find here anywhere, nor can I find those other girls. I decide to go home, the place is about to close anyway.

This is a rather unusual request. Combined with the fact that she was smiling at you and kissing you... and that she sat down next to you in the first place (often a sign a girl likes the looks of you)... and that she was playfully telling people you were together (which is a way of her taking out the competition; the other girls may have been interested as well), I'd suspect this might have been an attempt to get you to go into the bathroom with her and take her there. You'd have to go off of the feel you were getting from her though.

This was a dull night. My friends were all about us finding a place for everyone to sit together. Neither of them was keen on approaching, guess they are like me when it comes to girls. What I want to ask is, how can I go about breaking free from them without letting them down or being disrespectful. I could say I have to use the restroom and take off, but that seems a bit dishonest to me.

Just tell them, "Hey, I'm going to go meet some girls. Anyone want to come?"

They'll understand.

Chase

 

[PinotNoir]

Dude, was she really not that attractive? That was a great chance encounter! It's a shame you didn't like her.

As for the girlfriend remark, maybe you could have used that to your advantage (assuming you didn't like her) to talk with the other girls...

G: "Yes, we've been dating for 2 years."
B: "Hey! We broke up months ago!"
G: "No, we didn't!"
B: *roll eyes or look to the side* "Girls... well, you should at least introduce me to the innocent women you're lying to."

or

G: "Yes, we've been dating for 2 years."
B: "Sweetie pie!" *say this in a boyish way as a social hint to the other women* "It will be 10 years next month, not 2!"
The idea I have here is to make the other women know that it's a joke. This may be better:
B: "Girls, you know how long we've been together! You were at our wedding."
Trying to include them in on the "game."

or

Just pretend to cough/choke on your beer haha. Here, I'm thinking about what would happen in a comedy.

I don't know; that can be a difficult situation. None of these are really "sexy." She did a good job of clamblocking (opposite of cockblocking). If you think you'll run into this situation again, it could be a good idea to think of a way around it to talk with the other women.

 

[Rag]

Nice progress I think man! Even though you felt uncomfortable you got out and broke a first barrier which is the toughest thing. Interesting encounter you had with that girl as well. Only thing I would have done differently was to actually say you're not her boyfriend because that let her take control.

First of all, sorry for the late reply!

Yeah, I can see how that put's her in control of the situation.

You didn't know her and since she wasn't super good looking nor in a normal state (I'm guessing she was drunk) I doubt you would want to continue to see her anyway so who cares if she's mad? Mad girls are cute girls! At that point I would have just let go and continue to hunt for some more girls.

I do have to admit that I should've ended my converstaion with her, and start looking to find someone else to converse with. Especially since I didn't want to go any further with her. The more I think of its also unfair to her that I continue the interaction with her at this point. I think this mainly was because I didn't set any goals for myself this night other than to go out alone visit two venues, and take it from there.

Thanks for your support and input, Nino. It was surely an experience to grow on.

 

[Rag]

This is a rather unusual request. Combined with the fact that she was smiling at you and kissing you... and that she sat down next to you in the first place (often a sign a girl likes the looks of you)... and that she was playfully telling people you were together (which is a way of her taking out the competition; the other girls may have been interested as well), I'd suspect this might have been an attempt to get you to go into the bathroom with her and take her there. You'd have to go off of the feel you were getting from her though.

First of all, sorry for the late reply!

I think so to, had I been more experienced I would probably have picked up on those signals.

You may suspect the bathroom scene correctly. My suspicion was that she wanting me to accompany her to the bathroom was because she thought she could loose me if she left me alone with the other girls. Yeah, it was quite the experience for me having few reference points to compare with.

Just tell them, "Hey, I'm going to go meet some girls. Anyone want to come?"

They'll understand.

How simple, and effective! Thank you for your input, I'll try that next time.


Ragnar

 

[Rag]

Dude, was she really not that attractive? That was a great chance encounter! It's a shame you didn't like her.

If she had been more to my liking, that would've been one heck of a first night out alone!

As for the girlfriend remark, maybe you could have used that to your advantage (assuming you didn't like her) to talk with the other girls...

Good ideas here, PinotNoir. This night out could be a great scene in the beginning of a movie where a man, who is inexperienced in dating, is followed through his process of becoming an experienced seducer. Heh. Probably already exists.

I don't know; that can be a difficult situation. None of these are really "sexy." She did a good job of clamblocking (opposite of cockblocking). If you think you'll run into this situation again, it could be a good idea to think of a way around it to talk with the other women.

Shed did a fine job there with the clamblocking. In time I'll be able to use that to my benefit!

Thanks for your reply, PinotNoir!


Ragnar

 

[Rag]

Its been a long time since my last visit here! The past month has been very busy. My conscience is suffering from it.

There's been a lot of school work to do with assignments due every week. And another project which has taken up much of my spare time lately. Due to this I have not been able to follow up on my Newbie Assignment as I had planned. Hopefully I can resume my focus when the project ends in the end of this month.

To sum it up. I have not given up on this journey.