Rapport/Connection Building in Day Game

[theemann31]

I'll just get straight to the point here, I'm stuck at a certain point in conversation past small talk but before deep rapport. For instance, I'll reach this point in conversation:

ME: So what's your major?
Her: (awakens from her deep thought and speaks) I study Computer Science and coding
ME: Oh that's actually really cool, I don't really hear of many girls where I'm from who study that
Her: Where are you from? (she is now trying to find out about me)
ME: I'm from Miami, so what made you want to go into that major?
Herpoints body at me fully now and looks at me frankly as if to tell the honest truth) Well I want to work for the FBI in the anti cybercrime division so it's just the competition of it and knowing that I'm up against a real human trying to defeat them
ME: (I look at her and nod approvingly) Yeah... (not knowing what to say I try to do some weird form of qualifying) Damn, that's really cool, you like danger and excitement

Then girls tend to close up on me and I don't know why. I believe I should make more intimate eye contact, touch them and use an intense facial expression and nod my head (non verbals) then try to reward them for opening up to me by showing interest in what they just told me.... EXAMPLE

Herpoints body at me fully now and looks at me frankly as if to tell the honest truth) Well I want to work for the FBI in the anti cybercrime division so it's just the competition of it and knowing that I'm up against a real human trying to defeat them

ME: (Look between eyes intensely and put hand on arm and get closer) you know Victoria (pause), your'e actually (pause) a really cool girl (smile warmly holding eye contact and remove touch) I totally share your love of competition in my field of study also as I face off against others. (take a breath slowly) did this love of competition start from battles against a younger brother?

Basically, I'm thinking of rewarrding her nonverbally and verbally then relating to her and probing deeper into a highly emotional topic (which I have stumbled upon in daygame moves things forward fast) . Tell me what you think, please, anything helps, do I come off like I'm forcing a connection or giving too much value or whatever else you think JUST WRITE SOMETHING

 

[Richard]

Herpoints body at me fully now and looks at me frankly as if to tell the honest truth) Well I want to work for the FBI in the anti cybercrime division so it's just the competition of it and knowing that I'm up against a real human trying to defeat them
ME: (I look at her and nod approvingly) Yeah... (not knowing what to say I try to do some weird form of qualifying) Damn, that's really cool, you like danger and excitement

Her: Well I want to work for the FBI in the anti-cybercrime division so it's just the competition of it and knowing that I'm up against a real human trying to defeat them.

If you want to reward her, do so with an emotional comment, like:

Me: "Damn, I really admire that because of such and such.Ya' know, you're pretty cool XYZ." Girls either respond with "Thanks," "What makes you say that?," or they're just flattered. Emotional rewarding is one of the best ways to develop a real deep dive because it lets girls know that they can keep opening up to you.

If you want to tease her and flirt a little:

Me: "Yikes! I guess I'd better stop cyberstalking that chick from my 4th grade math class... or this could get ugly."

When I say stuff like this girls usually call me silly - and that is a fantastic thing.

Anyway, to the root of what you were asking about. Building rapport with chicks is all about getting them to talk about themselves and open up to you - be fun to relieve tension and ask questions about her. 3 huge questions that I learned from a mentor (I guess he was kind of a mentor, right Light? =P) were:

"Where do you work?" followed by "Is it your dream job?"
"Have you ever traveled anywhere, or do you want to travel?"
"What do you do when you have some free time?"

These questions offer a lot of information about herself for you to work with and so much is hidden in how girls answer these questions - namely from you understanding how motivated she is to how adventurous and sexual she is. Keep a couple deep questions in the back of your mind and you can fall back on those if your mind runs blank again.

-Richard

 

[fsc]

JUST WRITE SOMETHING

I like turtles

ME: So what's your major?
Her: (awakens from her deep thought and speaks) I study Computer Science and coding
ME: Oh that's actually really cool, I don't really hear of many girls where I'm from who study that
Her: Where are you from? (she is now trying to find out about me)
ME: I'm from Miami, so what made you want to go into that major?

On a serious note, good job on returning to deep dive about the major. You could've done a lot worse by saying "I'm from Miami. What about you?".
The main site just posted an article about being intriguing and memorable, so your response caught my eye. A past article focused on building intrigue said the two steps to being intriguing is non-answer and deflection to a question. You've already deflected the topic of your origin, so next time you can try not answering as well, such as: "From faraway lands where girls don't study coding...what made you want to go into that anyway?"

I believe I should make more intimate eye contact, touch them and use an intense facial expression and nod my head (non verbals) then try to reward them for opening up to me by showing interest in what they just told me

Eye contact, definitely.
Touching, be careful not to overdo it.
I'm not 100% sure what you mean by "intense". I think for the situation presented by your dialogue, it may be best to have a relaxed and mildly bored expression.

ME: (Look between eyes intensely and put hand on arm and get closer) you know Victoria (pause), your'e actually (pause) a really cool girl (smile warmly holding eye contact and remove touch) I totally share your love of competition in my field of study also as I face off against others. (take a breath slowly) did this love of competition start from battles against a younger brother?

I think this is a teeny bit too much, especially if it's a girl you've just met somewhere that is not a party/bar/club.

It depends on the girl's facial expression and her level of comfort/trust, but initially upon approaching I'd try to steer away from a super intense vibe. So if I were to modify your example according to my personality, it would be like:
Me: (Solid eye contact, warm smile) you know Victoria (pause), your'e actually a really cool girl. It's awesome to meet another competitive soul (High five). (Pause/breath and get closer) Were you always a competitive girl, or would you say that there is something that drives you to be competitive?
Well, unless you already knew that she has a younger brother.



Turtles are cool.

 

[theemann31]

If you want to reward her, do so with an emotional comment, like:

Me: "Damn, I really admire that because of such and such.Ya' know, you're pretty cool XYZ." Girls either respond with "Thanks," "What makes you say that?," or they're just flattered. Emotional rewarding is one of the best ways to develop a real deep dive because it lets girls know that they can keep opening up to you.

True story, things like this really do make girls open up to you, I know that's how I feel whenever I tell someone my major, I hope they will tell me they think it's cool and take a genuine interest in it and have a nice discussion about it.

If you want to tease her and flirt a little:

Me: "Yikes! I guess I'd better stop cyberstalking that chick from my 4th grade math class... or this could get ugly."

This would be something nice to use but this girl was a bit more serious and cerebral and would have probably not responded well to it, she seemed like the type that isn't that socially savvy. It's always weird when I meet a cute girl who isn't highly skilled socially, you'd think they all are but I guess that's not the case.

Anyway, to the root of what you were asking about. Building rapport with chicks is all about getting them to talk about themselves and open up to you - be fun to relieve tension and ask questions about her. 3 huge questions that I learned from a mentor (I guess he was kind of a mentor, right Light? =P) were:

"Where do you work?" followed by "Is it your dream job?"
"Have you ever traveled anywhere, or do you want to travel?"
"What do you do when you have some free time?"

These are good, free time, travel, dream job all have the potential to be very revealing about the girl if I can qualify and reward and dive deeper with her right and now that I am not creeping girls out on approach, I have the luxury of testing these out and going somewhere with girls. I have had some long (15 minute) sexual conversations with women with quite a bit of touching, on and off campus (no number closes though) and am really starting to get the importance of relating to girls ONLY what matches what they have told me and rewarding them for opening up to me with touch and verbals, maybe mention something intriguing about myself in passing then press on deeper about them.

But let me ask you, what is your stance on asking the girl VERY personal questions about herself, smoothly of course. Like maybe she mentions her dream job is to become an interior designer of houses because she has always loved to explore the possibilities of how she can compose a house to express the emotion of the client; then I press on about if her home and family played an important role in influencing her love of interior design in homes then press on deeper into her family itself (A SUPER DEEP TOPIC). Is this unnecessary and won't lead to getting laid even with sexual framing verbally and non verbally, because from experience, girls open up and spill their guts to me, but I have never pressed on for more (because the girls at my college are not attractive).

Just some stuff that's been on my mind, I've come a long way from scaring girls into walking into walls and want to get as far from that skill-wise as possible as I climb the ladder to fulfilling my dreams.

I like turtles
A platypus (my middle school nickname) would whoop a turtles soft creamy ass cheeks.

Me: (Solid eye contact, warm smile) you know Victoria (pause), your'e actually a really cool girl. It's awesome to meet another competitive soul (High five). (Pause/breath and get closer) Were you always a competitive girl, or would you say that there is something that drives you to be competitive?
Well, unless you already knew that she has a younger brother.

Good stuff here, I just hate high fiving girls I want to thrust within, it just frames things non sexually (at least that's how it feels when I do it), I'd rather go for a hug or touch her somewhere while maintaining eye contact. And the younger brother thing is true too, but I still want to try it out.

Thanks dude