- Joined
- Feb 10, 2017
- Messages
- 11
I've only been on 2 dates in my entire life. On the first one I got my first kiss--a short peck on the lips. And then on this one where I get the makeout. However on BOTH I was perceived as a player who does this a lot which led to lots of resistance as you'll see in the FR. I don't know how to prevent this from coming up. Anyway on to the Field Report:
First Approach
I'm at the mall with my best friend and his sister. We go there sometimes to approach. I saw the girl who well name Shelly before but I didn't approach cause she was too far away. And I make a mental note to approach later if I see her again. I do and she's in front of us and the convo goes like
Date:
I pull up at 6:54 and I see her in some sweats and she's looking sexy af in then and I say hey and explain why I'm late after she jokes to me about it. She tells me she was doing some work and then asks if I'm gonna get something at the coffee shop. I tell her maybe later.
I then ask if she ate and she says yes and I'm like "Damn I came too late." We talk a little bit about her life and what she wants to do and then I say let's walk outside and we do. I grab her by the waist and she's surprised how forward I am. But she reciprocates my touch. Then we just walk and talk for a bit. She asks about my goals and a bit about my family. We go to a fast food joint and we discuss random topics but mostly media and entertainment. Then she constantly tells me how she's unsure of me because I held her hand, etc and she thinks that I do this a lot. (Credit to this site and YouTube cause girls give me this a lot even though it's furthest from the truth) and I try to combat this by just saying stop overthinking and just have fun in this moment right now. But clearly she's convinced that I'm a player or something and asks:
Then:
Side Note: I know I handled this wrong so any advice here is needed. This was my first time making out so I had nothing to go on.
We then talk a bit and she tells me shes not sure if she'll see me again because she knows I'm not looking for anything serious and that she's not a "hookup" and I try to alleviate those fears by saying your a cool person and that I genuinely enjoy her as a person.
Eventually she had to pee and I do too so we both go do so. Then she calls her mom and says she'll be home soon. We hug and I smack her ass and shes leaving and she turns around, smiling at first but then she says you're too pushy (something she's told me repeatedly throughout the date) and I don't apologize but I feel I need to alleviate the situation so I joked and ask if this was a deal-breaker and she says yes pretty seriously and then I say I'll text you and you should text back cause it'll be good for her.
I need advice on this guy's:
How can I stop girls from thinking I'm too much of a player?
When the above occurs, what is the best way to combat this frame?
How (specifically in this interaction) can I prevent myself from explaining myself given her constant framing of "This is weird" or "You're too young" etc
During the makeout what could I have done to escalate further to a blowjob or a lay?
Was the ass tap properly calibrated?
What is a good text to send after this? She said she might not want to see me again after this cause it was too fast.
Also how do I prevent myself from becoming visibly frustrated when faced with resistance? She commented I looked that way even though I didn't think I did.
Also for anyone experienced: a breakdown of things I did right and wrong anywhere would be greatly appreciated.
First Approach
I'm at the mall with my best friend and his sister. We go there sometimes to approach. I saw the girl who well name Shelly before but I didn't approach cause she was too far away. And I make a mental note to approach later if I see her again. I do and she's in front of us and the convo goes like
We talk a bit more about stuff that's not that important then I say I gotta go find my friends and go away. Then I text her the next day. Convo:
I end up running late to 5 because of some shit that I had to do after church so I call and say we should push it back to 6 or 6:30. Then I get delayed again and text her I'll be there at 7.MeMy name). Yesterday you were #(hername)inmall. Not as catchy I know.
Her: Yeah not nearly as catchy. What's your hashtag?
Me: *Give her one*
Me: Jealous?
Her: Hmm...
Her: Nope. Not at all.
Me: What a jealous person would say. Cute how you try to hide it!
Me: What is your schedule like this week? Let's grab coffee
Her: I guess that was a clever hashtag. So my schedule is a little hectic. I'm only in (the area) on the weekends. I'm available next Sunday if that works for you.
The next day
Me: Sundays are iffy for me. Friday or Saturday works thr best.
Her: Fridays are pretty hard. Can I give you a maybe to Saturday?
The next day:
Me: Sure but let me know as soon as you find out. If my Sunday opens up I'll let you know as well
Her: I definitely will.
Two days later:
Hey I can do Saturday. How does 7 work for you?
Two days later (on the date. I got busy and forgot)
Me: Hey! Been so busy so excuse late response. I'd prefer around 4 or 5 but I can do 7 if that's impossible for you.
Her: No worries. I didn't hear from you, so I made plans to stay in (some place) tonight, but I'll be in (area) tomorrow if your schedule happens to free up.
Me: Haha totally understandable. I'll let you know in a timely manner next time. Have fun in (place) though. Always entertaining when I'm there
Her: Lol usually I'm pretty flexible. I'll just be studying haha, so not much fun.
The next day
Me: How does today at 5 work for you?
Her: that's perfect.
Date:
I pull up at 6:54 and I see her in some sweats and she's looking sexy af in then and I say hey and explain why I'm late after she jokes to me about it. She tells me she was doing some work and then asks if I'm gonna get something at the coffee shop. I tell her maybe later.
I then ask if she ate and she says yes and I'm like "Damn I came too late." We talk a little bit about her life and what she wants to do and then I say let's walk outside and we do. I grab her by the waist and she's surprised how forward I am. But she reciprocates my touch. Then we just walk and talk for a bit. She asks about my goals and a bit about my family. We go to a fast food joint and we discuss random topics but mostly media and entertainment. Then she constantly tells me how she's unsure of me because I held her hand, etc and she thinks that I do this a lot. (Credit to this site and YouTube cause girls give me this a lot even though it's furthest from the truth) and I try to combat this by just saying stop overthinking and just have fun in this moment right now. But clearly she's convinced that I'm a player or something and asks:
Then we sit back outside the coffee shop and then here's where things get really interesting.
Convo continues for a bit and then I say I'm cold and asks if she wants to chill in her car and if she has an aux cable. She lies and says she doesn't and I call bullshit.
Then:
Then we head into her car and talk for about 5 minutes. Then we start making out and I think I might have fucked up because I didn't escalate with my hands during the session which might have prevented escalation to a bj. However I do place her hand on my boner but nothing comes of it. I start unbuckling and she says stop.
Side Note: I know I handled this wrong so any advice here is needed. This was my first time making out so I had nothing to go on.
We then talk a bit and she tells me shes not sure if she'll see me again because she knows I'm not looking for anything serious and that she's not a "hookup" and I try to alleviate those fears by saying your a cool person and that I genuinely enjoy her as a person.
Eventually she had to pee and I do too so we both go do so. Then she calls her mom and says she'll be home soon. We hug and I smack her ass and shes leaving and she turns around, smiling at first but then she says you're too pushy (something she's told me repeatedly throughout the date) and I don't apologize but I feel I need to alleviate the situation so I joked and ask if this was a deal-breaker and she says yes pretty seriously and then I say I'll text you and you should text back cause it'll be good for her.
I need advice on this guy's:
How can I stop girls from thinking I'm too much of a player?
When the above occurs, what is the best way to combat this frame?
How (specifically in this interaction) can I prevent myself from explaining myself given her constant framing of "This is weird" or "You're too young" etc
During the makeout what could I have done to escalate further to a blowjob or a lay?
Was the ass tap properly calibrated?
What is a good text to send after this? She said she might not want to see me again after this cause it was too fast.
Also how do I prevent myself from becoming visibly frustrated when faced with resistance? She commented I looked that way even though I didn't think I did.
Also for anyone experienced: a breakdown of things I did right and wrong anywhere would be greatly appreciated.
