FR Red

[Rakehell]

Never saw the value in field reports before, not to mention i’m a pretty private person. But after a little break from this whole thing I now see how they can be helpful in reminding you of what works and what made you successful.

Was on campus getting some work done, got kind of burned out so I decided to pack up and rejuvenate.

Pretty long walk to my car so I was just strolling. Noticed this almost gothic looking girl in the distance, tattoos, redhead, colorful eyes. Really beautiful, probably intimidating for some.

I noticed her change directions to come toward me, so she kind of went out of her way for us to cross paths.

I opened her over my shoulder as we were crossing each other. Said something about her tattoos, and she stopped immediately.

Asked her where she got them done, chit chatted about that, asked her to sit with me and she complied.

We sat and talked from anywhere between 15-30 minutes. Was really fluid, she told me all about herself and her interests with mostly me relating/qualifying her/ leading the convo etc.

Made it a point to touch her throughout, mostly her shoulder, and her calf (both exposed).

I noticed that she wouldn’t face me fully and we were kind of just sitting side by side. So I turned my body more fully toward her to see if she’d mirror that.

When I noticed that she wouldn’t I pulled back a bit with my body language, changed topics, and got her to open up more.

After a while she hit a point where she was alot more loose and comfortable in her demeanor/ got a-lot closer/more invested in her posture.

We eventually exchanged names.

After a while I let the convo die down a bit and she got up saying she needed to actually get back to study. I stayed seated and she pivoted and started asking me more questions about myself.

I teased and said I thought you had to go study. She laughs, I offer to join her in her dorm and she says “I won’t be able to focus”. Definitely should’ve persisted but didn’t.

So i’m like cool or whatever, totally nonchalant about it. She’s still waiting there expectantly so I’m like “Why don’t I give you my number”, she hands me her phone I put it in and try to part ways like it was my idea.

She starts talking about where her apartment is, I offer to drop her off because it’s a pretty damn far walk. She debates it then agrees.

We walk and chit chat about random shit, and as we get to the lot she looks at her phone and said some of her friends are trying to meet up. Not sure if it was bs or what, but I’m like okay, does that mean you’re gone? She’s like yeah long story short, i’m like cool. We say our goodbyes and part ways.

Takeaways:

-Not so sure on the followup with this girl, she was pretty compliant/receptive but imo feels kind of flakey

-Sexualizing things better than what’s been going on recently and i’m overall pretty happy with what I did to push the envelope probably could of moved things ahead faster / persisted on going back to hers, but will come with a little more time

-Not sure what caused her to change gears at the end, friend excuse could’ve been valid or just a way to eject/ or she got in her head due to the walk. Who knows

On to the next

-Rake

 

[Chase]

@Rakehell,

Good instincts paying attention to her behavior shifts.

She seemed interested but nervous.

I noticed her change directions to come toward me, so she kind of went out of her way for us to cross paths.

I opened her over my shoulder as we were crossing each other. Said something about her tattoos, and she stopped immediately.

Good observation and action.

I noticed that she wouldn’t face me fully and we were kind of just sitting side by side. So I turned my body more fully toward her to see if she’d mirror that.

When I noticed that she wouldn’t I pulled back a bit with my body language, changed topics, and got her to open up more.

After a while she hit a point where she was alot more loose and comfortable in her demeanor/ got a-lot closer/more invested in her posture.

Well handled.

We eventually exchanged names.

I know some guys like to save this to later to use as a sign of the girl's interest level.

Not sure if you were doing that or just forgot to trade names.

IMO generally better to just trade them early on -- it helps with resolving some of the awkwardness and unfamiliarity.

After a while I let the convo die down a bit and she got up saying she needed to actually get back to study. I stayed seated and she pivoted and started asking me more questions about myself.

I teased and said I thought you had to go study. She laughs,

Way to stay calm and suck her in!

I offer to join her in her dorm and she says “I won’t be able to focus”. Definitely should’ve persisted but didn’t.

Oh yeah.

That's where you ask her, "Why, what are you going to be doing or do you think I'm going to be doing that is so distracting?"

So i’m like cool or whatever, totally nonchalant about it. She’s still waiting there expectantly so I’m like “Why don’t I give you my number”, she hands me her phone I put it in and try to part ways like it was my idea.

Sounds like you either weren't that into this girl or were playing it super laid back.

Any reason why you didn't propose a date before the number grab?

Just, "We should grab a bite or a drink sometime," or, "We should hang sometime."

Yes --> #-close

She starts talking about where her apartment is, I offer to drop her off because it’s a pretty damn far walk. She debates it then agrees.

We walk and chit chat about random shit, and as we get to the lot she looks at her phone and said some of her friends are trying to meet up. Not sure if it was bs or what, but I’m like okay, does that mean you’re gone? She’s like yeah long story short, i’m like cool. We say our goodbyes and part ways.

Takeaways:

-Not so sure on the followup with this girl, she was pretty compliant/receptive but imo feels kind of flakey

-Sexualizing things better than what’s been going on recently and i’m overall pretty happy with what I did to push the envelope probably could of moved things ahead faster / persisted on going back to hers, but will come with a little more time

-Not sure what caused her to change gears at the end, friend excuse could’ve been valid or just a way to eject/ or she got in her head due to the walk. Who knows

On to the next

-Rake

She probably got nervous having a cute guy with her she just walked back with after a long chat on campus then a long walk back together. "I don't know what this guy's thinking / I don't know what he expects" so she found an excuse to bail. Didn't want to deal with the "Is he going to try to come up to my room? I'd better ready a response in case that's what he wants."

It seems like she liked you but trust was too low.

I know most of the convo was her telling you about herself and you qualifying.

She may have needed to know more about you. Not every girl is comfortable with the guy who's too big a mystery. Some girls really love it but some girls need some details.

Anyway, not sure what else you talked about, but too low similarity / trust looks like the issue; since you already bonded on her stuff, I would start by looking at how well she felt she knew you.

Lots of good instincts here on the open, calibrating to her nonverbal interest levels, and not wavering when she said she was going to go!

Chase

 

[Rakehell]

I know some guys like to save this to later to use as a sign of the girl's interest level.

Not sure if you were doing that or just forgot to trade names.

IMO generally better to just trade them early on -- it helps with resolving some of the awkwardness and unfamiliarity.

Yeah my mistake. I kind of let the conversation get ahead of me because it flowed really smoothly. Reached a point where I was like “wait, I don’t even know this girl’s name”.

Oh yeah.

That's where you ask her, "Why, what are you going to be doing or do you think I'm going to be doing that is so distracting?"

Yup

Sounds like you either weren't that into this girl or were playing it super laid back.

Any reason why you didn't propose a date before the number grab?

Just, "We should grab a bite or a drink sometime," or, "We should hang sometime."

Yes --> #-close

She was super hot, would’ve loved to eventually lay her. Kind of goes back to my post that you helped me with. Felt very zombified this day but soldiered on, made some mistakes and couldn’t fake the “desire” part of things fully. All it took was the words but I couldn’t find them in the moment.

She probably got nervous having a cute guy with her she just walked back with after a long chat on campus then a long walk back together. "I don't know what this guy's thinking / I don't know what he expects" so she found an excuse to bail. Didn't want to deal with the "Is he going to try to come up to my room? I'd better ready a response in case that's what he wants."

It seems like she liked you but trust was too low.

I know most of the convo was her telling you about herself and you qualifying.

She may have needed to know more about you. Not every girl is comfortable with the guy who's too big a mystery. Some girls really love it but some girls need some details.

Anyway, not sure what else you talked about, but too low similarity / trust looks like the issue; since you already bonded on her stuff, I would start by looking at how well she felt she knew you.

Lots of good instincts here on the open, calibrating to her nonverbal interest levels, and not wavering when she said she was going to go!

Feel like you’re spot on, she’s since ghosted so i’m going to avoid pinging her. Feel like i’ll be able turn it around if I run into her again.

Thanks for the insight i’ll keep it in mind for the future.