- Joined
- Feb 23, 2022
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- 846
Hey guys, I am curious if you have any thoughts/tips on running home dates with women you met from day game.
I have noticed a trend in my dates over the years and I am trying to iron out some of the kinks.
Home dates have actually become a prominent form of dating in my dating life. I'd say a majority of my dates are home dates at this point. Maybe 60%.
Now, home dates with women I meet via night game or via app (or the rare instance I get back on those things), tend to roll pretty smoothly and quickly towards physical intimacy. This makes sense given the nature of how we met. There tends to be more of an implicit understanding of what the home could lead towards.
While there is an element of that implicit understanding with day game, it tends to be a bit more vague. I think anyone who does a fair amount of day game understands that the dates that arise from it tend to have more of a meet-and-greet sort of vibe to them before momentum really gets going. I believe that this is due to the nature of how you meet. During day gay game it is not always appropriate to go full-on with the sexual framing of things, even if there is a touch of that present. Sometimes yes, but often times you gotta play it more low-key. So, often it would follow suit that the dates that ensue form day game or the two of you grabbing a drink, or a coffee, or something that give you two more of an opportunity to meet each other in a low stakes manner. Home dates tend to have a pretty strong implication to them.
So basically this leads me to these scenarios where I get these women to come over to my house (actually fairly simple to make happen, even with day game), but I run into pacing problems. Usually towards the end of the second act, into the third.
Normally, on a date outside of the house (aside from house dates where it seems to just be understood where things are headed. And head there they do) you have the 3 bounce structure to build momentum. This allows for 3 concise phases to the seduction arc that moves things forward and a proper pace. You can use each bounce as a means of grounding each state change and solidifying the direction and tone of the moment. During a home date, there is a more limited logistical pallet to work with to facilitate this sense of forward-moving energy and chemistry, so you are relying on more subtle cues for state change.
I have played around with a number of ways to facilitate this state change, like changes in lighting or music, and changes in activities. This seems to help some with the momentum, and even on some dates works like a charm. However, on a good deal of dates it only seems to go so far.
One move I have noticed helps if going on a walk after the first phase of the date. By the time we get to the third phase of the date, the energy is high right as we return to my house. Which makes it a perfect moment to move toward escalation. The thing is, it doesn't always make sense to go on a walk at that phase of the date, so it is not always a move available. Also, if the first two phases of the date are at the house and we go for a walk at the end of phase 2 (going into phase 3) when the energy is high, then this is bad for escalation because by the time we are back at the house (where we can escalate) the steam has kind of worn off (only had to do this once or twice to see it was not a good move).
Sometimes I can build the right momentum by changing activities, doing something more physical like showing her some taich chi, or massage techniques and so on. But again, this move is not always available, given the nature of each individual connection.
So yeah, I have run into a number of dates in this scenario where the energy builds but when it comes to the 3rd phase there is a sort of momentum roadblock. It feels like the energy needs to shift but the momentum if quite high enough to make a proper move. Some sort of state change is needed but the environment makes it tricky to facilitate that. If I make a move at this moment it tends to be met with a "We just met. I am not ready to be physical" kind of statement. "We need to get to know each other more"
There is clearly a pacing issue going on with how I am running these dates. Searching for some solutions. Here are a few thoughts things I am considering
-Use screening before I suggest a home date during day game. Basically only suggest it if the initial interaction has a clear indication that is directly where the energy is headed. Otherwise, stick to more traditional dates to build momentum.
-Compress my pacing. Jump into second gen sooner, like in the second phase of things (after we have a moment to meet and greet). Then fractionate from there. Basically, get everything on the table then back off a bit to build comfort before building back up into escalation. Cutting out more of the deep dive material I tend to use in the second phase of a date. A bolder approach, but if I am able to hook her with a more rapid pace, then give her time to settle into it perhaps it will streamline things.
-Focus on novel ways to build compliance quickly. I have noticed a trend where, because we are at my house, there tends to be a strong emphasis on me (coming from her). I think this is because I have an interesting and cultured living environment that sparks curiosity. How every, her curiosity can lead to feeling rote. As I was typing all this I am realizing that part of this rote feeling is the fact that I am showing her pieces of my world, without using her curiosity as a means to gain compliance as much I could. The environmental palette we are working with is skewed toward me. How do I make her work a bit more of a deeper sense of access to my reality, without being evasive?
Any thoughts, gentlemen?
I have noticed a trend in my dates over the years and I am trying to iron out some of the kinks.
Home dates have actually become a prominent form of dating in my dating life. I'd say a majority of my dates are home dates at this point. Maybe 60%.
Now, home dates with women I meet via night game or via app (or the rare instance I get back on those things), tend to roll pretty smoothly and quickly towards physical intimacy. This makes sense given the nature of how we met. There tends to be more of an implicit understanding of what the home could lead towards.
While there is an element of that implicit understanding with day game, it tends to be a bit more vague. I think anyone who does a fair amount of day game understands that the dates that arise from it tend to have more of a meet-and-greet sort of vibe to them before momentum really gets going. I believe that this is due to the nature of how you meet. During day gay game it is not always appropriate to go full-on with the sexual framing of things, even if there is a touch of that present. Sometimes yes, but often times you gotta play it more low-key. So, often it would follow suit that the dates that ensue form day game or the two of you grabbing a drink, or a coffee, or something that give you two more of an opportunity to meet each other in a low stakes manner. Home dates tend to have a pretty strong implication to them.
So basically this leads me to these scenarios where I get these women to come over to my house (actually fairly simple to make happen, even with day game), but I run into pacing problems. Usually towards the end of the second act, into the third.
Normally, on a date outside of the house (aside from house dates where it seems to just be understood where things are headed. And head there they do) you have the 3 bounce structure to build momentum. This allows for 3 concise phases to the seduction arc that moves things forward and a proper pace. You can use each bounce as a means of grounding each state change and solidifying the direction and tone of the moment. During a home date, there is a more limited logistical pallet to work with to facilitate this sense of forward-moving energy and chemistry, so you are relying on more subtle cues for state change.
I have played around with a number of ways to facilitate this state change, like changes in lighting or music, and changes in activities. This seems to help some with the momentum, and even on some dates works like a charm. However, on a good deal of dates it only seems to go so far.
One move I have noticed helps if going on a walk after the first phase of the date. By the time we get to the third phase of the date, the energy is high right as we return to my house. Which makes it a perfect moment to move toward escalation. The thing is, it doesn't always make sense to go on a walk at that phase of the date, so it is not always a move available. Also, if the first two phases of the date are at the house and we go for a walk at the end of phase 2 (going into phase 3) when the energy is high, then this is bad for escalation because by the time we are back at the house (where we can escalate) the steam has kind of worn off (only had to do this once or twice to see it was not a good move).
Sometimes I can build the right momentum by changing activities, doing something more physical like showing her some taich chi, or massage techniques and so on. But again, this move is not always available, given the nature of each individual connection.
So yeah, I have run into a number of dates in this scenario where the energy builds but when it comes to the 3rd phase there is a sort of momentum roadblock. It feels like the energy needs to shift but the momentum if quite high enough to make a proper move. Some sort of state change is needed but the environment makes it tricky to facilitate that. If I make a move at this moment it tends to be met with a "We just met. I am not ready to be physical" kind of statement. "We need to get to know each other more"
There is clearly a pacing issue going on with how I am running these dates. Searching for some solutions. Here are a few thoughts things I am considering
-Use screening before I suggest a home date during day game. Basically only suggest it if the initial interaction has a clear indication that is directly where the energy is headed. Otherwise, stick to more traditional dates to build momentum.
-Compress my pacing. Jump into second gen sooner, like in the second phase of things (after we have a moment to meet and greet). Then fractionate from there. Basically, get everything on the table then back off a bit to build comfort before building back up into escalation. Cutting out more of the deep dive material I tend to use in the second phase of a date. A bolder approach, but if I am able to hook her with a more rapid pace, then give her time to settle into it perhaps it will streamline things.
-Focus on novel ways to build compliance quickly. I have noticed a trend where, because we are at my house, there tends to be a strong emphasis on me (coming from her). I think this is because I have an interesting and cultured living environment that sparks curiosity. How every, her curiosity can lead to feeling rote. As I was typing all this I am realizing that part of this rote feeling is the fact that I am showing her pieces of my world, without using her curiosity as a means to gain compliance as much I could. The environmental palette we are working with is skewed toward me. How do I make her work a bit more of a deeper sense of access to my reality, without being evasive?
Any thoughts, gentlemen?
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