- Joined
- Nov 21, 2012
- Messages
- 528
Hey Guys,
Regaining someone's trust is one of the most difficult tasks that many men fall short on and never truly accomplish. Because the person in question will always think about that one thing you did that one time on that one occasion. A lot of times unfortunately they never ask to hear your side of the story. I will say that you can't get mad at the person for not trusting you because in truth you messed up. I will be honest regaining someones trust can take a lifetime, and even then that may not be enough. Everyone wants to be viewed and looked at as a trustworthy person. However, we all fall short, but once people view you as untrustworthy things will never be completely the same. There's no real point in trying to verbally persuade people to trust you again. It's all about showing them the facts and letting them make a decision for themselves. Here's a few steps I've learned over the years of regaining people's trust.
Step 1: Humility, this is the hardest part for some people because they feel like they're above trying to "win" people back. For most people regaining their trust isn't about how quickly you apologize, it's about are you going to own up to your mistakes. Truth be told once you're caught, there's really no reason to lie about it anymore. Because you just make yourself come off as a jerk. You come off as a jerk who doesn't mind stepping on people to get what you want. A lot of times things are just big misunderstandings.
Step 2: Clear the air but remember to be respectful. Under no circumstance should you call somebody out of their name. It's not about figuring out who's right or who's wrong, it's more about do you care enough to make things right. Now if you truly put forth an effort to repair the damages and they aren't hearing you out, let it go. Don't try to force your way into peoples lives. Just clear up the accusations in a calm manner and explain your side of the story, Always remember to be respectful though. You're not looking to blame people and cause more problems. You never want to burn a bridge.
Step 3: Give them their space and time. They may want to see you and they may never want to see you again. I've had people come to me years later and tell me how they were wrong about a particular thing. The thing about it is you need to let the person decide for themselves. You can't control how they're feeling you can only control you. Now in relation to chasing, don't try to suck up to people. Just let them be, trust me. The last thing you really want to do is annoy the person. They may attack your character and say hurtful things to you, but remember to be respectful and remain humble. A lot of times character and reputation is all people have sometimes, and it sucks when accusations come out but you must be respectful. Don't go out and attack the other persons character. Let them look foolish, just hold firm and just do better in the future.
In the end, you will do things that may offend people and upset them. You can't beat yourself up for it, you have to move on. When you're humble things will go a lot better for you. Don't get defensive and accuse them of believing lies, just clear out wrong details. Rumors suck and you can't do a lot about them. The only you can do is control how you respond to them. Avoid making emotional decisions and take time for yourself. Always remember to respect boundaries and give people their space as well. Some people may forgive and other may not. At the end of the day keep on living.
Another time,
Just Dave
Questions, comments, or concerns?!
Regaining someone's trust is one of the most difficult tasks that many men fall short on and never truly accomplish. Because the person in question will always think about that one thing you did that one time on that one occasion. A lot of times unfortunately they never ask to hear your side of the story. I will say that you can't get mad at the person for not trusting you because in truth you messed up. I will be honest regaining someones trust can take a lifetime, and even then that may not be enough. Everyone wants to be viewed and looked at as a trustworthy person. However, we all fall short, but once people view you as untrustworthy things will never be completely the same. There's no real point in trying to verbally persuade people to trust you again. It's all about showing them the facts and letting them make a decision for themselves. Here's a few steps I've learned over the years of regaining people's trust.
Step 1: Humility, this is the hardest part for some people because they feel like they're above trying to "win" people back. For most people regaining their trust isn't about how quickly you apologize, it's about are you going to own up to your mistakes. Truth be told once you're caught, there's really no reason to lie about it anymore. Because you just make yourself come off as a jerk. You come off as a jerk who doesn't mind stepping on people to get what you want. A lot of times things are just big misunderstandings.
Step 2: Clear the air but remember to be respectful. Under no circumstance should you call somebody out of their name. It's not about figuring out who's right or who's wrong, it's more about do you care enough to make things right. Now if you truly put forth an effort to repair the damages and they aren't hearing you out, let it go. Don't try to force your way into peoples lives. Just clear up the accusations in a calm manner and explain your side of the story, Always remember to be respectful though. You're not looking to blame people and cause more problems. You never want to burn a bridge.
Step 3: Give them their space and time. They may want to see you and they may never want to see you again. I've had people come to me years later and tell me how they were wrong about a particular thing. The thing about it is you need to let the person decide for themselves. You can't control how they're feeling you can only control you. Now in relation to chasing, don't try to suck up to people. Just let them be, trust me. The last thing you really want to do is annoy the person. They may attack your character and say hurtful things to you, but remember to be respectful and remain humble. A lot of times character and reputation is all people have sometimes, and it sucks when accusations come out but you must be respectful. Don't go out and attack the other persons character. Let them look foolish, just hold firm and just do better in the future.
In the end, you will do things that may offend people and upset them. You can't beat yourself up for it, you have to move on. When you're humble things will go a lot better for you. Don't get defensive and accuse them of believing lies, just clear out wrong details. Rumors suck and you can't do a lot about them. The only you can do is control how you respond to them. Avoid making emotional decisions and take time for yourself. Always remember to respect boundaries and give people their space as well. Some people may forgive and other may not. At the end of the day keep on living.
Another time,
Just Dave
Questions, comments, or concerns?!
