Rejected after first date kiss close

[Vincent Chase]

I genuinely don't know what I'm doing wrong. I've had about 4 recent dates (a couple of them off online dating, others from social circle).

I take them out to a bar on a date, this is in the UK. Have one or two rounds of drinks, then go home to train station say our goodbyes, I kiss them.

Then 2-3 days later I text them that I had a good time and try to schedule a second date. They either go ghost, or send a text back saying thanks but they don't wish to take things any further.

A couple of other girls I did manage to have second dates with where I followed this exact same process, but it's a success rate of 2/6 for second dates from first date kisses.

I'm not a newbie to it all, I had a 6 month girlfriend I broke up with a few months back and looking for a relationship but struggling even though the right chemistry seems to be there and manage to kiss most girls. I'm 30. I'm a bit dumbfounded by this.

Should I be kissing them on the first date or not? Should I call them up instead of texting for arranging the second date?

 

[Mr.Rob]

http://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=...=pYHRdK0FAeAsfSeJ6W9wRw&bvm=bv.81828268,d.aWw

The article linked is how to kiss a girl in public and have it go great.

However kissing in public can be a mixed bag (by public I mean not in a secluded location to escalate to sex) so I would personally recommend bring them home on the first date, then kiss, then have sex and you won't have to worry about flakey girls...

Also look up the "date compression" article Chase wrote.

-Rob

 

[Vincent Chase]

What do you do when it's clear that you can't take a girl home on the first date?

Is it best to go for either the two extremes, not kiss her if it's clear you can't escalate any further on the first date or take her home with you and then kiss her and have sex with her?

 

[ray_zorse]

This would probably be referred to as an "informational date" in Chase's articles... if your logistics are terrible or you are extremely busy and don't have time for a proper date with her... and didn't get a chance to talk much before going for the number etc... then you just meet her to screen for logistics and other information about her. Best idea is probably not to do them... or if you must then keep it to <30 mins and close out on your terms... leave as much intrigue as possible.

I guess another situation I have done these dates in the past is date compression... i.e. you didn't move fast on the first date and/or fucked up and disqualified yourself as a lover and are in boyfriend territory... or she has strong religious views or views on how many dates before sex... and you still want to pursue it, so you are trying to get the numbers up so her logical brain can now say "Okay it's the third date I'm allowed to have sex now".

If you absolutely must kiss her then break off immediately, so as to leave her wanting more. This will be very hard to do as a beginner, I have certainly failed when my emotional brain has overriden logic and said "nah, it's okay! keep kissing" but paid the price later. If you provide too much good feelings without getting sex, then this will be your role from then on.

cheers, Ray