Rejected, then they realise it was a mistake?

[Fluxcapacitor]

Dudes a have encountered this tonight an on Halloween where a girl that's 'rejected' me changes her mind, ya see the look of regret. A have opted to ignore them but should I give them another chance?

Situation girl 1: met girl, arranged date, got number, cancelled, rearranged, cancelled. Set up alternative then cancelled - I was done.
Girl 2: hired gun, agreed to date, couldn't schedule at work (busy bar) got number, no response to ice breaker or scheduler - I was done.

Both of these girls have since seen me out, noticed me, you could see that it looked like they regretted their decision. Start giving AIs and IOIs to which I ignore them.

To me they've made it blatantly clear they're not interested in the past why would I chase scraps for another chance? To me they need to make more effort to get given a chance.

Ironically the other girls that have either changed their minds or realised they made a mistake approach me, apologise a lot an beg for another chance without me even seeing the look of regret so expecting them to make a similar effort isn't expecting to much.

On a great compliment to myself seeing girl 2s jaw drop to the floor when she seen more of my physique on Halloween was priceless. She realised what she turned down.

 

[DarkKnight]

Flux buddy, you just described a sitation where I have been in multiple times and just like you I have quite an ego as well. I have learned not to take such girls too seriously, because honestly they are "in the moment" creatures. They can totally underestimate you over text or whatever. I don't know why this is, the short term attention span must be very real.

Don't see it as begging for scraps, they are fighting for yours remember? But do go increasingly for compliance and escalate. If they can't forever, well next. You will not be in the losing position since they are obviously craving for validation. Drop them like a stone and watch their jaw drop, again.

But I really get where you are coming from, they do these dumb risky things to the point of being disrespectful, but when they get hungry again they expect another chance as if nothing happened. I have really wondered if they had the introspection to at least understand why you are not giving them your time. I have a couple of girls who are trying just as hard right now again, but I rather have fresh interactions.

 

[DarkKnight]

Coincidentally, check Chase's post.

https://www.girlschase.com/content/tact ... hosted-you

 

[Fluxcapacitor]

DarkKnight dude! Thanks for sharing the link bro that was just what I needed.

Maybe it's my own projection but in my own head to act normal with these girls I would have to approach again which is further validation to them and I feel I look socially clueless. I can see this working really well in social circle though.

I know chase gave an example of a night club but it seemed there was a high level of social. I have met groups of girls where I feel I could do this and others where it would seem out of place to me.

Maybe this is me projecting the girls energy? I have seen a girl that's ghosted me out an about an she's looked like a dear in headlights expecting it to be awkward. I have just ignored her so basically auto rejection but i see this closes the doors for me. It also feels awkward to me because that's what she's projecting. I feel if I walked towards this girl she's gonna eject out of awkwardness. Besides she doesn't know if am gonna be cool or explode on her when I approach.

 

[Fluxcapacitor]

To comment further on ya first response dude the begging for scraps comment is more a view I have.

If they ghost me or repeatedly cancel they've made their choice. If they later regret it an give AIs an I jump straight on it an go back to them am then to easy/desperate (losing attraction) and it's a chasing position.

If ya go running because they give you an invite it's like ya overly pleased to get another chance. I feel they need to qualify themselves not just give me the eyes an smiles.

 

[naturalmikey]

Time wasters. They want you to keep validating them. Move on. Find new girls

 

[DarkKnight]

Yeah well, that's the problem huh? Girls make clear things murky for both sides. And you'll probably get the blame eventually as well.

I actually had posted an extremely articulate response to Chase's article where I wanted to understand more nuances, but for some reason it didn't show up on the blog. Maybe because of an overzealous filter that is on the website.

Most importantly I wanted to know how to follow up on this situation without giving away your frame, because you are definitely right. It's extremely easy to slip up here because one side is building, the other side is sabotaging.

Also there is nothing wrong with showing autorejection when girls act stupid, if you dont value your time no one will. You don't have to pout, but you don't have to share your time either. Like naturalmikey says, it's really easy to get a ticket to validation land.

 

[Chase]

Also, to add here --

When to Throw the Ball into Her Court (and When Not To)

If you're "done" with her, might as well shoot her a ball-in-her-court text.

Then the onus is on her to do the work if she wants to set something up with you in the future.

Let's you drop her and forget about her, and if she pops back up she has to handle the date set up and proposal, and you can kick back (and insist on something convenient for you, if you weren't already doing that... no point agreeing to anything else when the girl is flaky).

Chase

 

[Fluxcapacitor]

Chase dude! Thanks for contributing to the thread. I really like the ball in your court text and have used it with really good results. (Have also just had girls ping me by liking social media posts or hint to go out but when I don't jump on the ping or hint go cold, possibly in auto rejection)

I actually used this message with girl 1 who instantly set up a date to later cancel on the day. Really mixed signals which is why I was done. She made it to difficult so can't have been interested.

Girl 2 I should have gave it a shot in hindsight.

DarkKnight dude! Yeah I'm really unsure how to follow up without giving away a frame, looking clueless or giving a validation ticket.

I don't pout about it, just go into auto rejection by not giving them any time or attention. Which I guess can also come of bitter.

Naturalmikey dude! I can agree but when ya see the look of regret they know they made a mistake. Being cold in auto rejection lets you keep ya time an frame but it's not productive to progress with these girls.