Responses to 'who are you?'

[sneaky_charm]

Just messed it up with a cute chick cause she asked me 'Who are you?' after receiving the call and I was totally unprepared.

It seems like asking 'Who are you?' as soon as a girl picks up the phone the first time is the norm here. Even when I text them first with my number, they ask 'Who are you?'. And it is actually screening. It is a shit test. Cause once I had turned it around and the girl instantly got more attracted. But seriously, I do find it annoying. Every fucking girl uses the same thing, and I just do not know why the fuck they do that even though they clearly like me. Other shits I understand, but 'Who are you?' after picking up the call. Seriously!

Two questions:

1. Why does it happen?
2. What are some good responses?

 

[Jackson Joe]

If you're certain that know who you are, then I'd reply saying 'you know damn well who I am'

Otherwise, I'd just say "think", which would get them intrigued. This would also be obeying Chase's law of least effort.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r5kmCgVhADY

 

[NarrowJ]

@Jackson,

Yep, I like this second one better, actually.

Otherwise, I'd just say "think", which would get them intrigued. This would also be obeying Chase's law of least effort.

It's a more indirect challenge, which is better in this case. The first one is too reactive too, I think.

She challenges you with "Who are you?" or "Who is this?" and then, without missing a beat, you flip it on her and now she's the one doing all of the work.


J.J.

 

[sneaky_charm]

If you're certain that know who you are, then I'd reply saying 'you know damn well who I am'

Otherwise, I'd just say "think", which would get them intrigued. This would also be obeying Chase's law of least effort.

Hi Jackson, thanks, these seem great. I just tried 'Take a guess, you have 3 chances', and she cut the call. Oh well! I am totally confused.

She challenges you with "Who are you?" or "Who is this?" and then, without missing a beat, you flip it on her and now she's the one doing all of the work.

Hey J.J., thanks for the reply. Flipping the script seems like a great idea, what are some other ways of doing so, ways that are somewhat unconventional, disarming or funny?

 

[Jackson Joe]

If I was sure that they knew who I was, I would hang up and delete the number.

Sometimes passing shit tests is a good idea, other times it's rewarding women for disrespecting you.

Which is a really bad precedent to set.

I don't know about you, but I can't afford to be throwing away opportunities that easily. I'd give the benefit of the doubt and exchange a text or two.

 

[sneaky_charm]

If I was sure that they knew who I was, I would hang up and delete the number.

Sometimes passing shit tests is a good idea, other times it's rewarding women for disrespecting you.

Which is a really bad precedent to set.

I understand where you are going with this. At the same time, you are one of the most calibrated seducers on the planet, so you can get numbers, lays and what not at a blink. I am not at that stage yet, so I have to make peace with the few numbers I close, lol!

But ya, your time is really valuable, so I totally understand why you said that. I can only wish to be at your level! Hope I get there soon.

- Sneaky Charm

 

[Franco]

I don't really make phone calls anymore, so I won't comment too much on that.

But with that being said, it's important to keep in mind this fact: most girls won't save your actual name into their contact book. What this means is that, when you call them, all they will see is a phone number. They don't genuinely know who you are half of the time, so it will be your job to remind them and then gauge whether or not they're excited about that fact.

It's different when you send a text message because, if you properly attached your name to one of the first texts you sent her, she'll see that message before she needs to respond to your next message. With a phone call, she's forced to respond to the empty number without being able to check if she has any text messages from it and see who it might be. And in most cases, she'll assume that if she doesn't have the number saved, then it's not from anyone she actually cares about.

This is just something to consider.

- Franco

 

[Orelfius]

Also, when you reach this problem, it's because you make a mistake earlier (ie: when you were in front of her).

In this case, the mistake is: You didn't give her a situational nickname.

That would have allowed you to say "Hello [insert nickname]" and this problem would have never happened in the first place.

 

[Smith]

DrexelScott wrote:
If I was sure that they knew who I was, I would hang up and delete the number.

Sometimes passing shit tests is a good idea, other times it's rewarding women for disrespecting you.

Which is a really bad precedent to set.

I don't know about you, but I can't afford to be throwing away opportunities that easily. I'd give the benefit of the doubt and exchange a text or two.

Actually I second Drexel's idea. As much as you would like to think these are "opportunities", chances are you're already fighting an uphill battle with a woman who's not interested in you and you're wasting your time. If you feel like she really doesn't know who you are, because you only spend 2 mins talking to her, then I think playing games telling her to guess is probably not going to work lol Put yourself in her shoes, you got a random number calling you, then the guy on the other side ask you to guess who he is....who the hell has time for that?

I think there was an article on GC about calling a girl immediately after you got their number so it's not awkward. I think that's a pretty good idea if you plan on calling her instead of texting. Otherwise, expect some awkward "who's this?" when you call her. Or you can exchange a few text before you call her, so she's more comfortable picking up the phone.

 

[Chase]

One other item to add:

Sneaky, are you using your name?

The easiest way to get around this is to make sure your first 2 or 3 phone calls you make to a girl start with, "Hey, it's Sneaky!"

That nukes about 85% of this right off the bat.

If you still get any, "Wait... Sneaky? Who?" then she either

• 1. Doesn't like you
  
  2. Is really going hard on playing coy
  
  3. Honestly doesn't remember (you didn't make much of an impression, or she met 200 people that day, or she was drinking when you met her, etc.)

My preferred response when I get this after saying my name is, "[laugh] Well, not all that memorable then I guess. I'll let you go then."

That gets followed up with either a "No, wait!" in which case, you're back in, or an, "Okay, bye," in which case, it's almost 100% she knows who you are but is blowing you off, so just hop off and delete the number. You can turn it around sometimes with girls who've already decided they don't like you, but it's so low percentage it's not worth messing with unless you're experimenting and have some crazy ideas to try. Otherwise, it's like pestering a company that already turned you down for a job to change its mind and hire you. Works occasionally, but not usually the most efficient use of time.

Anyway, if it goes okay-ish, looks like this:

• You: Hey, it's Sneaky! How's it going, Zelda?
  
  Her: Oh hey... wait, who is this? Sneaky who?
  
  You: Haha... Well, guess I didn't make much of an impression. I'll just hop off then.
  
  Her: No, wait! Is this Sneaky, from Sunday? By the sneakers store?
  
  You: You're all disoriented now because I called you instead of texting. Kind of an outmoded convention, ay?
  
  Her: No, it's fine! I just didn't recognize the number. How are you?
  
  You: Well, aside from the aura of confusion I seem to be projecting, I'm great. How'd the marathon training go this weekend - get your 18 miles done or did you pig out on ice cream after the 12-mile mark?

Then, converse normally.

Chase

 

[NarrowJ]

If this happens via text:

;-)


J.J.

 

[sneaky_charm]

To all,

Actually I think the problem was attainability. She was cute and all, but now that I look back, in an attempt to level my attainability I basically nuked her!

Why I say this? Because:

1. I almost overdressed her
2. Interrupted her sentences with differing opinions
3. Made expressions as if I didn't like her
4. Gave her shit for not planning things in life and going with the flow
5. Asked email at first deliberately, only to ask phone number seconds after
6. Said 'I don't promise you anything, but we'll stay in touch' while she was putting her number

I think she really liked me. Talked for about 15 or 20 minutes. Body language open, facing me. Even said 'Nice meeting you, you are the first person I met who goes for what he wants in life!' when parting.

So, do you guys think that 'Who are you?' maybe an attempt to bring her attainability back up?

I kinda feel bad for giving her such a hard time. All I wanted to do was level my attainability. I have REAL problem gauging where I am at in terms of that. Heck, when talking, a trolley even hit her back and she was probably hurt a bit, still she kept facing me. Only addressed the apologetic guy for a second or two, without turning. Ouch, I didn't even say anything, kept talking as if it was nothing! Poor girl!

I don't really make phone calls anymore, so I won't comment too much on that.

But with that being said, it's important to keep in mind this fact: most girls won't save your actual name into their contact book. What this means is that, when you call them, all they will see is a phone number. They don't genuinely know who you are half of the time, so it will be your job to remind them and then gauge whether or not they're excited about that fact.

It's different when you send a text message because, if you properly attached your name to one of the first texts you sent her, she'll see that message before she needs to respond to your next message. With a phone call, she's forced to respond to the empty number without being able to check if she has any text messages from it and see who it might be. And in most cases, she'll assume that if she doesn't have the number saved, then it's not from anyone she actually cares about.

This is just something to consider.

- Franco

Hi Franco, thanks for the response!

Girls genuinely not responding seems like a real concern. Didn't think about that. Okay, will keep that in mind next time! I actually sent her a few texts, she didn't respond. So maybe she didn't save my number, I don't know.

Also, when you reach this problem, it's because you make a mistake earlier (ie: when you were in front of her).

In this case, the mistake is: You didn't give her a situational nickname.

That would have allowed you to say "Hello [insert nickname]" and this problem would have never happened in the first place.

Hey Orelfius, thanks! That is a really neat idea, can't wait to try it the next time I am shopping!

DrexelScott wrote:
If I was sure that they knew who I was, I would hang up and delete the number.

Sometimes passing shit tests is a good idea, other times it's rewarding women for disrespecting you.

Which is a really bad precedent to set.

I don't know about you, but I can't afford to be throwing away opportunities that easily. I'd give the benefit of the doubt and exchange a text or two.

Actually I second Drexel's idea. As much as you would like to think these are "opportunities", chances are you're already fighting an uphill battle with a woman who's not interested in you and you're wasting your time. If you feel like she really doesn't know who you are, because you only spend 2 mins talking to her, then I think playing games telling her to guess is probably not going to work lol Put yourself in her shoes, you got a random number calling you, then the guy on the other side ask you to guess who he is....who the hell has time for that?

I think there was an article on GC about calling a girl immediately after you got their number so it's not awkward. I think that's a pretty good idea if you plan on calling her instead of texting. Otherwise, expect some awkward "who's this?" when you call her. Or you can exchange a few text before you call her, so she's more comfortable picking up the phone.

Hi Smith, thanks for the response! Yes you are probably right. I know that actually, but I barely go out and pick up, so it is rare to get numbers. So I try to hold on to these lol!

Also, I think I will give calling immediately a try from now on!

"I can't afford to be throwing away opportunities that easily"

This is a scarcity mindset you are in.

The irony, and also the beauty, is that you don't need to be in abundance to respect yourself.

In fact, standing up for yourself is what CREATES abundance, and the very reason you aren't there is because of the desperation which you say is an EFFECT of that scarcity, but is in fact, the CAUSE of the scarcity.

Basically, somewhere in your mind, you have reversed the order of cause-and-effect when it comes to your state vs. your actions.

Think yourself to where you want to be, engage your imagination and build from the inside out.

Hi Drexel, thanks again! I see what you mean. But it's really hard to control the mind. Even when I KNOW that I should wait to text, call, shouldn't send needy text or whatever, I end up doing that. The second I'm done, I realize the girl is gone forever!

One other item to add:

Sneaky, are you using your name?

The easiest way to get around this is to make sure your first 2 or 3 phone calls you make to a girl start with, "Hey, it's Sneaky!"

That nukes about 85% of this right off the bat.

If you still get any, "Wait... Sneaky? Who?" then she either

• 1. Doesn't like you
  
  2. Is really going hard on playing coy
  
  3. Honestly doesn't remember (you didn't make much of an impression, or she met 200 people that day, or she was drinking when you met her, etc.)

My preferred response when I get this after saying my name is, "[laugh] Well, not all that memorable then I guess. I'll let you go then."

That gets followed up with either a "No, wait!" in which case, you're back in, or an, "Okay, bye," in which case, it's almost 100% she knows who you are but is blowing you off, so just hop off and delete the number. You can turn it around sometimes with girls who've already decided they don't like you, but it's so low percentage it's not worth messing with unless you're experimenting and have some crazy ideas to try. Otherwise, it's like pestering a company that already turned you down for a job to change its mind and hire you. Works occasionally, but not usually the most efficient use of time.

Anyway, if it goes okay-ish, looks like this:

• You: Hey, it's Sneaky! How's it going, Zelda?
  
  Her: Oh hey... wait, who is this? Sneaky who?
  
  You: Haha... Well, guess I didn't make much of an impression. I'll just hop off then.
  
  Her: No, wait! Is this Sneaky, from Sunday? By the sneakers store?
  
  You: You're all disoriented now because I called you instead of texting. Kind of an outmoded convention, ay?
  
  Her: No, it's fine! I just didn't recognize the number. How are you?
  
  You: Well, aside from the aura of confusion I seem to be projecting, I'm great. How'd the marathon training go this weekend - get your 18 miles done or did you pig out on ice cream after the 12-mile mark?

Then, converse normally.

Chase

Hi Chase, thanks for the response!

No, I didn't actually. I played around a bit, and then she cut the call after maintaining silence for a few seconds. Telling my name immediately huh, didn't think about it at all! Lol end it before even it starts, okay!