Riddle's journal - on a trail to the promised land

[riddle]

Hi fellas,
Just registered on the forums and creating a journal here to be publicly accountable. I am new to the forums but extremely familiar with the website's ideas and teachings; big fan of chase, franco, narrowj, other senior members and their golden golden advice.

My target: learn to consistently meet beautiful girls I cross paths with as I go through my life day to day and have the choice to date/sleep with the ones who meet my standards.

I do have two distinct advantages:
1) In work/social circle situations, my presence is big: I am constantly viewed as charming and cool and mysterious and a go-getter. But change the backdrop to a cold open day/night situation when no one I know is around and it's all nerves and hesitation and thumbs.

2) I happen to be naturally good looking and have the prettiest girls checking me out all the time. In the past, I have been out with some real lookers through slow gaming and social circle (9/10 if I had to use that scale) but never long enough to get serious due to bad game/lack of abundance/social circle complications etc. These days I just shake my head saying what a shame I don't believe I can get these girls despite them often staring me down.

Biggest problems for me:
1) I know a lot of the site's principles in great detail but rarely ever apply them out in the field despite going out with a plan every time. You could call me an "all theory and no practice" guy. I am largely focused on day game in a big city, with little to no night outings (considering changing that right now to get change started somewhere). I do go out a lot and to a wide variety of day venues but I always fly solo and am not accountable to anyone (hence the journal entry finally in frustration).

2)Chickening out, getting nervous, auto-rejecting, forgetting what to say and not believing in myself have been my areas of expertise for quite some time now. Opening girls, being direct, closing, date management - you name it and I suck badly at all of them. I'm letting fear win over logic and I know it. I have gone direct or indirect/direct or situational in the past but those are few and in between and usually not talking to anyone at all is the default.

3) I have always been the person with a thousand stories to tell but I have become less and less interesting of a person over time as I have poured my energies into getting better with girls and strategizing and planning and going out (dropped or reduced other hobbies/traveling). That and because I rarely approach, I have often found myself struggling to relate to girls doing completely different things with their lives than what I do. Needless to say because I am not even truly "trying", I don't have much results to show for all the time devoted to seduction outside of the occasional fluky lay/crazy escalation.

I have noticed on more than a few occasions that I was able to overcome my fears and approach girls in tough new situations when a group of guys from social circle who think highly of me were watching. Here's hoping public accountability on this forum will help me do more of that and push forward hard and learn and grow rather than spinning my wheels not approaching at all. I'll add posts for outings here on, and what I was able to do there. Not too enthused given all logic falls on deaf ears when I go out but we'll find how much I can embarrass myself publicly over here.

Thoughts welcome

 

[ray_zorse]

Hey mate, great to see you here.

Don't worry, what you described is exactly what I experienced too, lots of AA and bad approaches due to nervousness and so forth, but that all goes away as soon as you gain a little experience, and that does not take long.

For example, if you can approach 10 girls in an outing and do that a few times a week, pretty soon you've spoken to 100, 200, ... girls and you have a good roadmap of all the turns the convo can take. If you need specific help on what to say (deep diving, flirting, etc) then post an FR and we'll help out.

Ray

 

[riddle]

Thanks Ray! Planning to start out with posts in my journal to not bore the rest of the community with my constant cop outs.

Posting FRs sounds like good motivation though - as I said, I have done direct or indirect direct day approaches here and there out of social pressure or dead obvious interest from the girl but can never do them remotely consistently. I have tried penalties to force myself to approach like Chase suggests: such as "I'll not go home tonight" or "I'll email my friends telling them how I have no balls unlike what they think" but I just couldn't enforce them. My hope is that "you have to post a FR on this and save face" will work better.

 

[riddle]

Hadn't gone out for a week due to work. Decided to experiment with Sat night time street game today - was out for about 45 mins and came across 7-8 decent looking girls on the street (ok for practice, but none save one cute enough that I'd want to sleep with them). I approached ZERO girls total.

Yes chances were few and in between and most chances were tough (eg 5 second window and the girl walked by) but I don't want to make any excuses. Who am I fooling here? I haven't done much of night street game before but I know in the past I have failed to open my mouth even with 30+ night street chances in 30 mins (elsewhere in the city).

Disappointing. As one of the articles on the website puts it "I don't feel bad long enough". Everytime a new outing starts with all the belief and the right mindsets taught on this site but they are quick to vanish in the field and are overtaken by emotions ("she is totally not interested") or excuses ("oh she likes me but I'll talk to the next one"). I know action trumps everything and is the way to go to build reference points but a good sense of social intelligence at work/in social circle has really worked against me when trying cold day/street approach. Every time I talk myself out saying "it'd be too awkward to go direct here with people watching" or "she will get embarrassed in front of her friends" or "I will appear too try hard and unlike my cool myself if I walk over and wave to stop her on the street". Sometimes I can override these thoughts but 90% of the time, nope.

I generally do ok once I "have an in" and start talking (conversation wise, gotta be better at closing across the board). Gotta figure out a way to not think so much and just go for it - hesitating and chickening out in cold approaches way too much.

 

[riddle]

Went out early in the evening on a Sunday for some day game. I usually go out just to meet girls but today I had to go buy a jacket and shoes, so I thought I'll spend time doing both half and half.

In the end, nope nearly all my time was spent in men's stores (or men's section of gigantic stores) and I didn't talk to ANYONE. Not many girls in mens stores/sections and those who were there and looking at me were mostly with guys. I did miss 3-4 chances out of hesitation though, assuming "if she is here in the men's section, she must be with a guy". On two other occasions, security/store employees were right there and within earshot -- wasn't sure if ditching direct and being indirect would have been the right thing in this situation. Especially given one situation was a group of two girls. My usual mentality is to not bother with these complex situations but when the venue doesn't have that many open girls, it might be worth considering.

Anyway after 2+ hours of walking the aisles, I largely gave up on talking to girls (that terrible feeling when you haven't talked to girls in a few hours and don't think there is any chance that would change). Did see two cute girls, each by themselves while waiting for the local rail home -- neither gave me any strong signals beyond a glance or two in my direction after I positioned myself within their field of vision (but too far away to start talking). The platform was quite crowded and though feeling somewhat defeated by this point, I considered going over and talking. Ultimately the "spotlight effect" got the better of me and I didn't approach at all - thinking direct would be too socially unintelligent with all the people around her. But indirect seemed very bizarre given I'd have to walk over after she had noticed where I was, I could have asked someone else the same question.

Aargh yet another outing with no girl talked to despite about 10 "cute enough" girls (with only 1-2 I'd want to go out of my way for). Discouraging certainly, but I can fix this: I have done this before, just need to get out of the rut. Cmon let's go.