Rights in a non-committed relationship

[Dirty dagger]

A woman has been telling me for a long time that she won't fuck me without a condom if don't commit to her (implying that she will if I do, of course). I think that's a very common thing for women to do, to say that they will only do this and this if you have been dating her for so and so long. Often I can at least make women give me head by persisting.

Last time we met she really started acting out because I haven't started a committed relationship by new. Earlier she promised that we would start having anal sex in the future (the time starting from the next time we meet). Last time she said we'll not start doing that. Previously she was making lots of compromises to do and try things that I enjoy doing. Now she's basically telling that there's no point in doing this because I'm just sex and there's lots of guys she could have sex with (though of course she's not attracted to them lol). Of course she's making some compromises but there's a great decline.

I'm so confused and I think I'm losing a lot of attraction and I'll need to deal with this the next time we meet. Last time she was throwing bold tests on me and I passed them. I was doing good job defending, telling her that it's fine if she ends this relationship but then winning all arguments and revealing the underlying problem. Still I'm left feeling that I wasn't aggressive enough. I probably should have thrown an ultimatum at her for a change.

I think I should tell her that if she's stopping to try things that I enjoy then there's no point for me to have a relationship with her. The problem is that I would be lying because I really like trying new things that she shows me (maybe I like her too much and this is a sign of weakness). Maybe I should just say that this is imbalanced and it's not gonna work out if she can't make compromises for me.

Seriously, she's the only girl I'm doing that I'm attracted enough that I want to make her my girlfriend. (I'm not going to though because I want to train PU.) This is a huge deal for me. I know it should't be and it isn't but in the short-term it really is.

She's withholding rights from me and I have no idea how to make it right. I know I probably will never have anal sex with her since I won't make her my girlfriend. That's not so bad but now that she had promised it and she is breaking her promise I look weak.

I find that there's a host of problems because she's extremely busy with school and work (working very hard at school and working at night all week). It has been hard for me to seem busy since we would meet almost never if I declined to work with her tight schedule, now that would be another host of problem. I agree on the schedule very early on to try and avoid seeming not busy but sometimes there are issues. Now that she's out of school soon I hope this will be easier.

 

[Drck]

Just be careful, it is a simple trap. She knows you want sex, so she gives you some sex to show you that she is great, but then if you want more sex you have to do something for her... such as commit into long term relationship...

That is not of course bad if that is what you want, but now she's got the power because she made first step to establishing her dominance... She is been already trying for some while, she is already attacking you, she is already making her demands, and you are already in defense... By denying you what you want you are only getting confused - but she is very clear, direct and demanding in WHAT SHE WANTS...

Say that you comply with her demand and you commit to LTR. As a result you will get a better sex, anal or whatever she promised. I believe that she is an honest girl, and she will do as she promised. Great, isn't it?

Well, great for some while, for some while she will be happy to satisfy you, she will reward you with great feelings and sex because you complied to her demands. But from now on, she knows that anytime she wants something, all she has to do is to threaten you by denying sex - or simply deny you sex until you do as SHE WANTS...

Not only that, it doesn't have to be just sex, it could be emotional as well. You do something - she rewards you with great emotions, love, good feelings, affection... But if you don't do something that she wants - she will make you feel miserable...

She will promise you, maybe even do a little bit for you, and then she will pull back - until you do WHAT SHE WANTS. It is subtle, you may not even realize it... But couple of years later you may wake up one nice day in your house, surrounded by your children, and you'll realize that you are getting sex only once a month - that if lucky, because it will be normal that she is always tired and always busy doing many different things - but none of them for you...

You'll realize that everybody calls you Mr. Nobody in your own house. You also may start feeling quite miserable about yourself, tired and depressed, not understanding why because you have such a great family... Well, it is because she could be dumping all of her emotions on you. Not at once but slowly, and surly... one little drop after another, year after year... drop, drop,...

So, it has nothing to do with your attraction, she wants to tie you down into LTR, and as such you will either be a happy provider - or you may be very sorry that you were born...


I can't help you or decide for you, do as you wish. I only describe things the way I am allowed to see them. Some guys are happy to be providers, it is the best thing that ever happened to them. But there is lots of men out there that suffer exactly because of that... The more they do the more they suffer...

IMO the whole point of learning seduction is not only to seduce some hot girl, but also know exactly what is involved in being a provider, what does it mean to be the dominant one in the relationship, and at least understand what inner strength you really need in order to grab your stuff and simply walk away from ANY female, hot or not... Also, remember that the whole relationship shouldn't be about WHAT SHE WANTS. It should be about WHAT YOU WANT...

Just two cents, IMO it is much better to have a headache now than ten-fifteen years down the road... Hope others will give you different point of view as well

 

[Dirty dagger]

Thanks Drck! Currently I'm training PU and I will not allow myself to commit in a relationship. Committing would be a horrible idea because I need to get so much stronger and gain abundance before I can have a great relationship, especially with a strong woman like her.

What I'm trying to accomplish is to keep her submitted and happy with me. I think she really wants a boyfriend and she is going to stop having sex with me when she finds someone that attracts her. That's fine but in the meanwhile I want to be able to provide her really good time.

In fact I'm the only one she is having sex with right now. I'm in a stronger position in not giving sex. Situations could get reversed during the summer though.