Rookie?

[allanmogale]

Hi I'm Allan.

I'm in a rather intense situation right now, too complicated for me to bare. I am desperate and confused. I don't know whether this is the right place to be seeking for the kind of advice I am looking for but I am only 16, I don't want to be judged as much as 'you' don't want to be judged.

You may call this incest but I call it love. If you, by any chance, have experienced love before, you'd know where I'm coming from.

I am doing fairly well when it comes to ladies. I have been rolling solo ever since I've entered high school and it's been working wonders for me, although I do feel a little lonely sometimes. And there's room for improvement, especially on getting laid.

Anyway, this is how the story goes. I met a cousin of mine that I haven't seen in like four years, we never spoke to eachother for at least 3 days when I got there and suddenly we were uttering words like we were old friends. Talking and laughing until one day she, (mistakenly I suppose), told me how she felt about me, I was astounded seeing that she's my cousin and all that *, but the feeling was rather mutual. We dated until last year when her father passed away.

So now it's the festive season, I'm here, visiting again. And I just can't stop staring at her face. She's stares back at me too. I don't even know what thè actual problem is, I guess I'm just afraid of losing her to other men (which is probably for the best you may be thinking)... I don't want to appear desperate in her eyes and that she's thè only person I am depending on. Please help, or direct me to an appropriate girlschace' link regarding my situation...

 

[Ross]

Here's where an absolute abundance mentality comes in handy. It's not illegal, but it certainly is frowned upon.

Two desperate cousins equals love. But do you really want to get with her? There are a lot of beautiful women out there that don't carry that social stigma. Jealousy is also never good in any relationship. i'd suggest that you need to get out there and try to date more women so you don't draw such a big attachment to something you feel is wrong.

 

[allanmogale]

Meeting new women in an unfamiliar territory isn't going to be easy so I'm going back home next week and am letting go of her, for good. Things weren't going to go that far anyway. Thanks a lot.

 

[Chase]

It's actually fairly common for there to be strong attraction between opposite sex cousins who don't spend a lot of time together. It may be an evolutionary way of keeping genes relatively similar; I'm not sure. Historically, it's been one of the preferred modes of mating, but for some reason that's not quite clear to me it's fallen out of favor in the modern Western world.

There was a news article recently about a brother and sister separated at birth in the U.K. who ended up meeting by chance as adults, not knowing they were related, and felt incredibly chemistry between the two of them and soon married. Only after they'd been married a while did they discover they were siblings; they've since divorced.

It may just be the case that you will feel inevitably drawn towards someone with very similar genes to you that you haven't grown up with - people tend to select long term mates with similar facial characteristics to themselves, for instance.

Generally speaking, the purpose of sexual reproduction is for the mixing of immune genes to fight pathogens and parasites, and getting together with a close family member throws a bit of a monkey wrench into this, remixing the same genes again, which increases the likelihood of genetic defects and weaker immune systems. So, from that perspective, there's probably a good reason why the current social norm against first cousins dating has replaced the former pro-cousin norm.

Anyway, RTB's advice is pretty practical here, Allan. Sounds like you're doing better and better with girls at school; if you can decide logically, it's probably better not to start again with your cousin. I realize feelings are a powerful thing.

Chase

 

[Flames]

They way you've got to look at it is, don't put your eggs in one basket. YES this girl obviously has chemistry with you (and her to you) but if it doesn't work out (and Chemistry isn't everything) then you need to be exploring other avenues, you need to understand that there's not 'just one girl' but 100's maybe 1000's and it's your responsibility to make sure you meet as many of them as humanly possible (and if possible get together with some of them)

If you don't then you doing them as much an dis-service as you do to yourself

 

[allanmogale]

Haha! Flames, that's exactly what I've been doing until I decided to pay her a visit this past week and was blinded by love. She actually called me yesterday afternoon to check if I arrived safely back home. Our conversation was normal, no awkward moments; I didn't end our relationship, I just picked up and left late in the evening without her noticing. I'm not one to break a little girl's heart into broken pieces so anyway now that I'm back home, I still have more problems to solve, beautiful women to meet and experience to gain... Thanks to Chase and his team, I'll be going through this with ease. I'll be posting something new, well not exactly new but it's worth the read if you're a beginner like myself, I'm just too lazy to type it out right now; it's been a long day. I'll be attending a pool party an old friend of mine invited me to this Friday, if you have any advice on how I can take advantage the environment, please do.