Said, Say, or Says

[Mike&Ikes]

Completely random question on the usage of words. I’m wondering what sounds better (not necessarily what is correct): said, say, or says?

For example:

So I says to the guy

So I say to the guy

So I said to the guy

Which sounds more eccentric? I’m not interested in the correct usage of the words, but the cooler, more worldly sounding use of the same phrase. “Says” sounds very east coast (or Jewish, I guess). “Say” sounds more formal. “Said” sounds informal.

Completely random, no correlation to any tactics of seduction, not a pressing matter, just plain ol’ curious.

Thanks,
Mike