Say she says she'll only sleep with a guy in a relationship. What would you say back?

[sinksink]

Offhand, I have a few ideas:
1. Ignore it, change the topic, try to escalate now or again later
2. "Then let's have a relationship [continue escalating]" but if you continue to escalate right after without saying more, this could be a bad look because it seems like you are only doing it to get sex
3. Tell her "we won't do anything you're not comfortable with" and keep escalating

My hunch is to do 3. However, if she continually repeats it during escalation I think you may eventually need to respond.

Mainly, I am curious about 2. So say you do start a relationship with her- how would you say it to her?

 

[Fluxcapacitor]

@sinksink dude! either 1 or 3 depending on the context. If you're mid escalation and its more a token objection than a rejection option 3 would work. If you ignore it it didn't happen, she might change her mind if this was only token, if it wasn't token she may still be aroused enough and change her mind. 1 works if you weren't escalating and it just kinda came up when ya were discussing sex or something.

2 is very very bad unless you actually mean it. It could also look like you have folded to her demands instantly to get sex. Weak - not attractive!

It is better if you realise where this objection has came from. Is she inexperienced? Is this her view point or something she feels is expected by society?

You can reframe this stuff if you know why it's happening. She could be positioning you as a boyfriend and not as a lover. Theres no hard or fast rule on dealing with this as every situation is different. It could be a shit test it could be genuine....

 

[cruiser]

She’s framing it as if you want her!
Reverse the frame

“ yeah I don’t do this till engagement anyways”
“I’m kinda sad you don’t wanna fuck, I gave up”

The more you power through and she’s around it could happen, will it? Probs not but worth a try right?