Screening for Relationship Status

[Marty]

Hey fellas:

I have concluded through trial and error (a lot of error—and being punished hard for it, i.e. losing girls who had seemingly been responding well) that actively screening for a husband or boyfriend early on, when I have already opened direct, is unnecessary and unsubtle, and seems to make the girl uneasy and feel cornered... while also implying falsely that I am specifically seeking a relationship.

It seems hugely more effective when used at a much later point, when I have already established a significant connection with a girl and attraction is already spiking, as a way of ramping up the heat and depth of the conversation (by this point, her answer is almost irrelevant, but just asking the question gets her excited).

Thoughts? I am awaiting the déluge of contradiction and denial )

-Marty

 

[Franco]

Marty,

I have concluded through trial and error (a lot of error—and being punished hard for it, i.e. losing girls who had seemingly been responding well) that actively screening for a husband or boyfriend early on, when I have already opened direct, is unnecessary and unsubtle, and seems to make the girl uneasy and feel cornered... while also implying falsely that I am specifically seeking a relationship.

I didn't know you were doing this! I could have certainly told you that it is something that does not need to be done.

Thoughts? I am awaiting the déluge of contradiction and denial )

The only thing you should be screening for is whether or not a girl is willing to have sex with you. The rest will come after that.

- Franco

 

[Marty]

Thanks for setting me straight, Franco!

I opened four girls around lunch-time today, was respectfully turned down by all of them, then right after starting this thread I went out again, approached another girl with this nonsense cut out, and got her number very quickly and with minimal effort. I think I had completely misunderstood Ricardus Domino's article Are You Single? Why to Always Ask Girls This!

Reflecting upon it, I think I may have inadvertently sowed the seeds of my own destruction with a girl in peripheral social circle the same way recently; whilst it was with lack of persistence that I really let myself down, I have an intuition that doing this also caused her to begin to write me off. Much better would have been something along the following lines, indicating her phone nonverbally at the appropriate moment: "If you like you can text your boyfriend to let him know you're with a very mysterious and intriguing man..." (wink, grasp her hand or use lingering touch).

It's an important realization for me that the methodology taught here at Girls Chase is not a "technique" as such; but rather a philosophy. You can't just expect to apply rules or follow a decision-tree; you have to live it, make the necessary mistakes, course correct and eventually become at one with it.

Thanks again.
-Marty

 

[Ryan]

Hey Marty,

I know this might sound insensitive, but from my time in Asia especially, I realised that there is little point in giving concern or making exceptions for strangers (because that's who these 'boyfriends/husbands' are - people who you've never met. Some may be wife-beaters, some may be prince charming. You don't know).

Once you are introduced to these people, by all means look out for them and honour your friendship by not flirting with their pretty girlfriend. But otherwise, there's no point in setting obligations that they don't expect from you. You're only limiting yourself.

As Chase once said before, if she truly loved her boyfriend/husband, there's not a thing you could do that'll turn her away from him unto you. That's why Chase is not concerned if another guy flirts with his girlfriend.
And if she doesn't love him, then you're doing the relationship and each of them a huge favour, by helping her end it while it was inevitably otherwise going to end a slow, painful way, or in a passionless marriage.

So, after all that, i guess what i'm trying to say is pay no heed to her relationship status. It really doesn't matter. Just steamroll ahead and let her tell you she has a boyfriend when she is in your arms after your night of passion.

I'm by no means someone with experience in this though, but I hope this helps.

ryan