- Joined
- Sep 21, 2016
- Messages
- 1,556
Yo, so I'm a server at a popular bar/restaurant downtown. I plan to keep this as one of my hustles for quite a while, and will eventually post a large write up on how to get numbers / get laid as a server. Not doing that until I'm consistently hooking up with girls as a result of my job, though. Also, got a good laugh out of reading a FR from my first server job from a year ago.
Here's a copy paste from my journal from my work day yesterday.
Got another number from work (3 weeks in a row now). I've gotten much better at recognizing IOI's from my tables. It's just little microexpressions in how they talk to you as they order, or if they ask you a question with a certain type of way so that the conversation might pick up, or if you use incidental touch and they accept it warmly --> they're interested.
With one table, a girl was weird with how she asked about the menu, and had a certain glint in her eye I noticed immediately. She couldn't pronounce the spanish words and when she got it right after I teased her I high fived her. I had a 15 top after that so I didn't have time to flirt with them here and there, but 20 minutes after I closed their table she called the other straight server over (about 25, good looking latino dude who's fairly muscular), had him get her a drink, and left her number. Point being: that girl wanted dick from somebody, and was testing the waters with guys she found attractive. This is why girls are a numbers game - you will eventually find the girls who want it just by coincidence.
The girl that left her number and I were much more sexually vibing than this first one. She sat in my section around 11:30 pm and she seemed a little drunk. I came over and the conversation went something like me asking if she needs anything (also I've been changing my fundamentals in small talk with tables A LOT at this new job), her teasing me about wanting their money and that their friend is at the bar, me qualifying her to her friend ("this one's pretty smart - she knows what I'm after") and then recommending drinks to them after she asked. I got them drinks and my coworker served them, then when I came back she goes:
Her: So.. I have a question... do you guys... serve... food here?
Me: *sexy smile* ...we do... serve... food here (exactly rhythmed how she said it)
Her smile grew with each word, and her friend's eyes lit up. Then I got them menus and used incidental touch in showing her what I recommended and they said I really sold them, and ordered 2 tacos, saying to surprise her with one of them.
Then a table of 5 sit down in my section and only get waters. Two guys are there and one of them gives me a very imposing look when I seat them. Right after I see these two guys sit down with the girls - I thought maybe they knew each other. At some point I see the girl I'd just flirted with looking uncomfortable and the imposing guy with a cocky smile on his face. As if he'd just said something in an attempt to flirt that didn't land well. I would have gone over but have a system with my side work and was about to get cut so I didn't.
When I came with the tacos, she immediately "called me out" about how I didn't come save them. I paused, told them I thought they knew them, then paused again and said "ah you did look uncomfortable for a second.. *turns to friend* were those guys creeping on you?". The friend said, while looking at my girl, "no, no we could handle them. *looks at me* we were fine ". Then I turn to my girl, who looks slightly conflicted and tell her, "hey well I have good news and will make it up to you... you asked for a surprise, *lifts up tacos* and I'm full of surprises. the shrimp taco is fuego. *touches her hand* bon appetite ".
When I come back again, I do the Caesar to crowd, gladiator thumb *up for good down for bad* and shake it in the middle, looking slightly downward with a slight, sly smile. Her mouth is full and her friend says "I'll tell you right now. She looooves em". I just smile, say "fantastic" and go back to work.
Finally, she's done with her food and the next step of the server process is to bring the check. She waves me over to the table as I'm doing my rounds, and gives me a big smile. I give her a little finger wave as I come up to the table. "Huuuuue can we have the checckkk?" I smile, tap her hand lightly, and say "sure". And both of them have big smiles. I thought about using a line Fuck This inspired me to use at my old job, "so should I just get your number now or are you gonna leave it on the check?" but I wasn't exactly saying witty shit left and right so decided against it to be congruent. I just continue to rely on a sexy vibe and fundamentals, hand them the check with some not so incidental touch, tell them it was a pleasure and to take care.
I was very confident that the number would be on the check because of the final couple interactions, but here's my analysis:
My girl had wanted to meet someone tonight, but the guys at bars prior to mine weren't giving her what she wanted. The friend knew this and wanted someone they both thought worthy and wanted to help the bridges of her friend and the guy to meet. This was moving in that direction until those guys sat down at their table (this place is half restaurant so hard to pull off on their part) - and a good move of mine would have been to subtly tool them or just casually and cooly come over to check on them.. that ought to have been enough to put the pressure on them.
When I came back my girl was disappointed in a guy yet another time - those guys were creepy and then I didn't save her from them. Her friend was more sober and basically knew that the guys would leave and that I'd be coming back in a few minutes, but emotion tends to live in the present. My girl was going off of her emotions and those guys stank up the stew for a little bit. I came back and actually qualified myself (and in a way submissive to her frame) - not a good move actually. This can be tough with being a server because teasing is a very delicate thing with some people at restaurants, though overall negative move on my part. At least I did it in a somewhat charming way with the surprises reference.
Then after this the friend talked with the friend enough to get her emotions back on track, possibly reframing me as the guy she's been looking for tonight. When I come back she's just as happy as, if not happier than she was before the guys came. I cement the emotions by using light touch and good fundamentals - the only calibrated thing I can do as a server (my manager would be like wtf Hue if I grabbed her ass, for example lol). She leaves her number, and now we're texting.
The main skills that you need in Server Game is fundamentals (attract them), social awareness (read their attraction), and social calibration (don't overdo or underdo how much you move things forward). Things like humor, wittiness, chase frames, sexual frames, etc. can all be dynamite and they help, but things you need in order to stay afloat are fundamentals, awareness, and calibration.
I would even argue that because this is a work setting it's better to underdo moving it forward than overdoing it (though depending on the rowdiness & the vibe of the place this varies). I've been more or less unaware at my old jobs, but still had good fundamentals & decent-good calibration, not had tried to necessarily flirt or anything, and gotten multiple numbers in one night before, one which ended in a date & a blow job. I like having a job and back at my first server job my manager called me out on being too much of a player where I worked (bringing in multiple different girls, overtly flirting with customers, etc.).
Also, preselection can be extremely easy to build in this setting. You talk with entire tables of girls, then go talk to other entire tables of girls, then talk to your hot girl coworkers. Then if you work at a cool place, the social proof is inherent. You do have to be compliant to them in nearly every step, but if they like you they'll listen to your recommendations & let you tease them about being overly demanding ("Can I have my onions raw, undiced, on only half the taco and on the side please?" .... "Anything else? ;P"), or tease them about having the whole order ready before you even come up ("so, it's your guys' first time then?") and shit like that.
I'm really excited for this summer. I feel like I'm getting better at the advance parts of this whole social thing every day (though I still have a lot to learn) and when I'm full time I'll get even more exposure to this age group (22-27). A bright future awaits.
Here's a copy paste from my journal from my work day yesterday.
Got another number from work (3 weeks in a row now). I've gotten much better at recognizing IOI's from my tables. It's just little microexpressions in how they talk to you as they order, or if they ask you a question with a certain type of way so that the conversation might pick up, or if you use incidental touch and they accept it warmly --> they're interested.
With one table, a girl was weird with how she asked about the menu, and had a certain glint in her eye I noticed immediately. She couldn't pronounce the spanish words and when she got it right after I teased her I high fived her. I had a 15 top after that so I didn't have time to flirt with them here and there, but 20 minutes after I closed their table she called the other straight server over (about 25, good looking latino dude who's fairly muscular), had him get her a drink, and left her number. Point being: that girl wanted dick from somebody, and was testing the waters with guys she found attractive. This is why girls are a numbers game - you will eventually find the girls who want it just by coincidence.
The girl that left her number and I were much more sexually vibing than this first one. She sat in my section around 11:30 pm and she seemed a little drunk. I came over and the conversation went something like me asking if she needs anything (also I've been changing my fundamentals in small talk with tables A LOT at this new job), her teasing me about wanting their money and that their friend is at the bar, me qualifying her to her friend ("this one's pretty smart - she knows what I'm after") and then recommending drinks to them after she asked. I got them drinks and my coworker served them, then when I came back she goes:
Her: So.. I have a question... do you guys... serve... food here?
Me: *sexy smile* ...we do... serve... food here (exactly rhythmed how she said it)
Her smile grew with each word, and her friend's eyes lit up. Then I got them menus and used incidental touch in showing her what I recommended and they said I really sold them, and ordered 2 tacos, saying to surprise her with one of them.
Then a table of 5 sit down in my section and only get waters. Two guys are there and one of them gives me a very imposing look when I seat them. Right after I see these two guys sit down with the girls - I thought maybe they knew each other. At some point I see the girl I'd just flirted with looking uncomfortable and the imposing guy with a cocky smile on his face. As if he'd just said something in an attempt to flirt that didn't land well. I would have gone over but have a system with my side work and was about to get cut so I didn't.
When I came with the tacos, she immediately "called me out" about how I didn't come save them. I paused, told them I thought they knew them, then paused again and said "ah you did look uncomfortable for a second.. *turns to friend* were those guys creeping on you?". The friend said, while looking at my girl, "no, no we could handle them. *looks at me* we were fine
". Then I turn to my girl, who looks slightly conflicted and tell her, "hey well I have good news and will make it up to you... you asked for a surprise, *lifts up tacos* and I'm full of surprises. the shrimp taco is fuego. *touches her hand* bon appetite ". When I come back again, I do the Caesar to crowd, gladiator thumb *up for good down for bad* and shake it in the middle, looking slightly downward with a slight, sly smile. Her mouth is full and her friend says "I'll tell you right now. She looooves em". I just smile, say "fantastic" and go back to work.
Finally, she's done with her food and the next step of the server process is to bring the check. She waves me over to the table as I'm doing my rounds, and gives me a big smile. I give her a little finger wave as I come up to the table. "Huuuuue
can we have the checckkk?" I smile, tap her hand lightly, and say "sure". And both of them have big smiles. I thought about using a line Fuck This inspired me to use at my old job, "so should I just get your number now or are you gonna leave it on the check?" but I wasn't exactly saying witty shit left and right so decided against it to be congruent. I just continue to rely on a sexy vibe and fundamentals, hand them the check with some not so incidental touch, tell them it was a pleasure and to take care.I was very confident that the number would be on the check because of the final couple interactions, but here's my analysis:
My girl had wanted to meet someone tonight, but the guys at bars prior to mine weren't giving her what she wanted. The friend knew this and wanted someone they both thought worthy and wanted to help the bridges of her friend and the guy to meet. This was moving in that direction until those guys sat down at their table (this place is half restaurant so hard to pull off on their part) - and a good move of mine would have been to subtly tool them or just casually and cooly come over to check on them.. that ought to have been enough to put the pressure on them.
When I came back my girl was disappointed in a guy yet another time - those guys were creepy and then I didn't save her from them. Her friend was more sober and basically knew that the guys would leave and that I'd be coming back in a few minutes, but emotion tends to live in the present. My girl was going off of her emotions and those guys stank up the stew for a little bit. I came back and actually qualified myself (and in a way submissive to her frame) - not a good move actually. This can be tough with being a server because teasing is a very delicate thing with some people at restaurants, though overall negative move on my part. At least I did it in a somewhat charming way with the surprises reference.
Then after this the friend talked with the friend enough to get her emotions back on track, possibly reframing me as the guy she's been looking for tonight. When I come back she's just as happy as, if not happier than she was before the guys came. I cement the emotions by using light touch and good fundamentals - the only calibrated thing I can do as a server (my manager would be like wtf Hue if I grabbed her ass, for example lol). She leaves her number, and now we're texting.
The main skills that you need in Server Game is fundamentals (attract them), social awareness (read their attraction), and social calibration (don't overdo or underdo how much you move things forward). Things like humor, wittiness, chase frames, sexual frames, etc. can all be dynamite and they help, but things you need in order to stay afloat are fundamentals, awareness, and calibration.
I would even argue that because this is a work setting it's better to underdo moving it forward than overdoing it (though depending on the rowdiness & the vibe of the place this varies). I've been more or less unaware at my old jobs, but still had good fundamentals & decent-good calibration, not had tried to necessarily flirt or anything, and gotten multiple numbers in one night before, one which ended in a date & a blow job. I like having a job and back at my first server job my manager called me out on being too much of a player where I worked (bringing in multiple different girls, overtly flirting with customers, etc.).
Also, preselection can be extremely easy to build in this setting. You talk with entire tables of girls, then go talk to other entire tables of girls, then talk to your hot girl coworkers. Then if you work at a cool place, the social proof is inherent. You do have to be compliant to them in nearly every step, but if they like you they'll listen to your recommendations & let you tease them about being overly demanding ("Can I have my onions raw, undiced, on only half the taco and on the side please?" .... "Anything else? ;P"), or tease them about having the whole order ready before you even come up ("so, it's your guys' first time then?") and shit like that.
I'm really excited for this summer. I feel like I'm getting better at the advance parts of this whole social thing every day (though I still have a lot to learn) and when I'm full time I'll get even more exposure to this age group (22-27). A bright future awaits.
