Sex not satisfying me

[Kaida]

Wow. I never thought I’d say this but, sex isn’t satisfying me as much as I thought it would.

I feel a kind of bored emptiness after fucking. I dont get that testosterone boost or nothing, its so easy it doesn’t feel like I “won”. A lot of my bodies were just smooth “come over” lays. Zero / weak resistance

I have 7 notches now. I’ve gotten 5 from my past 3 weeks in college (I literally could have gotten 2 new ones today… but decided against it. I already caught a new body earlier and that drained me) and I’m already getting that “this is meaningless” feeling. I knew that this point would come eventually, but I thought it’d take at least 100+ bodies to get there.

Its likely because my investment in the girls is so low. The most fun and fulfilling sex I had was with this girl on labor day (still havent finished the LR - its kinda long)

I fucked it up bad but it ended up turning around. I had a mini oneitis over this girl for a good minute before I calmed my ass down and secured the lay. The result was very passionate, very satisfying sex that made me feel like a testosterone beast after.

But then I fucked her again earlier today and it did not feel as passionate. It was still probably better than I would have with a random girl, but it was still a major drop in satisfaction.

Is this normal? What can I do about it

 

[Conquistador]

Interesting…this deserves a better reply than I can produce at 2:30 am

 

[Will_V]

Wow. I never thought I’d say this but, sex isn’t satisfying me as much as I thought it would.

I feel a kind of bored emptiness after fucking. I dont get that testosterone boost or nothing, its so easy it doesn’t feel like I “won”. A lot of my bodies were just smooth “come over” lays. Zero / weak resistance

I have 7 notches now. I’ve gotten 5 from my past 3 weeks in college (I literally could have gotten 2 new ones today… but decided against it. I already caught a new body earlier and that drained me) and I’m already getting that “this is meaningless” feeling. I knew that this point would come eventually, but I thought it’d take at least 100+ bodies to get there.

Its likely because my investment in the girls is so low. The most fun and fulfilling sex I had was with this girl on labor day (still havent finished the LR - its kinda long)

I fucked it up bad but it ended up turning around. I had a mini oneitis over this girl for a good minute before I calmed my ass down and secured the lay. The result was very passionate, very satisfying sex that made me feel like a testosterone beast after.

But then I fucked her again earlier today and it did not feel as passionate. It was still probably better than I would have with a random girl, but it was still a major drop in satisfaction.

Is this normal? What can I do about it

Seduction isn't about numbers, it's about having the experiences you want to have with girls and being able to get the ones that seemed way out of your league before.

What is it that still turns you on? Focus on that.

For example, I'm a romantic sort of guy. I enjoy the seduction process and the mini soap opera that I create at least as much as the lay. That's why I do daygame and very little nightgame and don't do any online at all.

Find your passion when it comes to women and build on it.

Not everyone is out to rack up huge numbers, nothing wrong with it if you want to but everyone likes different things.

PS well done on getting those results btw, it's pretty clear from your posts that you really go after what you want.

 

[Chad Tyrone]

Getting Past Hookup Detachment

You’re hooking up with girls but it just feels so… empty. What’s the source of this hollowness? Have you outgrown hookups? Are women just too shallow? Actually… it’s something ELSE. Once you’ve put the work in to climb from unsuccessful with women to more and more successful, a funny thing can...

www.google.com

The Natural Mindset: Taking More Pleasure from Hook Ups

Note before we get started: this one’s more for intermediate and up guys who are running into this issue. For guys who are beginners, stick with treating your interactions with women more “mechanistically” and breaking them down into bite-sized pieces and goals you’re trying to accomplish and...

www.google.com

Also would really depend on what girls u are going for.For some reason shagging hotter chicks feels more like a win partly because of good genes and/or status or maybe because she was "out of ur league" especially if u have never shagged a girl of her kind before.No girl is out of ur league *wink* if u have worked on yourself btw.


It doesn't feel as much win-y with the not-so-cute girls for obvious reasons lol.But then again them helping you build ur momentum and learn faster is victorious in that other women pick up on ur confidence(sexual )and nonchalance to them.


Ultimately though u'll have to question why did u decide to get better with women ...was it for your own pleasure (if u have a high sex drive or are hedonistic in nature)? or was it to prove to yourself or to others that u are masculine...that u can actually get laid?


Past a certain point it's all natural when two people come together...u really don't see seduction as wins or losses ,successes or failures.They are just but experiences*shrug*


That's a really different talk though and would depend on who you really are .Who said u can't be a mixture of both though *smirk**wink*



Hope this helps
Chad Tyrone

 

[Mr.SocialAcceptableHarem]

Your right sex is empty…

if you have no connection with her

but that emptiness still feels pleasurable

meaningful connections will leave you satisfied, because that is what we live for: meaning

there are plenty of people who live for pleasure, but pleasure doesn’t last for ever, you run out of weed, you ate the last cookie, you bust your nut

it all will end and leave you with emptiness unless you can weave into your storyline:

1. A had a revelation when I got super stoned and now I see the world a little differently

2. My friends and I had a feast and sharing that experience is what really matters

3. my fwb is fun to hang out with even when we’re not fucking

I mean you just realized a fundamental truth that is preached through all faiths: sensual pleasures are inherently meaningless in and of themselves if you can’t ascribe to them meaning

it’s really up to you how you want to process it

some people try to ignore it and dig even deeper into pleasure see if that can find gold at the bottom of the well

others stop chasing pleasure all together and live like a monk

and others realize pleasure is a tool that can be used in moderation as long as your using pleasure and pleasure isn’t using you

best wishes,

biggus

 

[Skills]

Wow. I never thought I’d say this but, sex isn’t satisfying me as much as I thought it would.

I feel a kind of bored emptiness after fucking. I dont get that testosterone boost or nothing, its so easy it doesn’t feel like I “won”. A lot of my bodies were just smooth “come over” lays. Zero / weak resistance

I have 7 notches now. I’ve gotten 5 from my past 3 weeks in college (I literally could have gotten 2 new ones today… but decided against it. I already caught a new body earlier and that drained me) and I’m already getting that “this is meaningless” feeling. I knew that this point would come eventually, but I thought it’d take at least 100+ bodies to get there.

Its likely because my investment in the girls is so low. The most fun and fulfilling sex I had was with this girl on labor day (still havent finished the LR - its kinda long)

I fucked it up bad but it ended up turning around. I had a mini oneitis over this girl for a good minute before I calmed my ass down and secured the lay. The result was very passionate, very satisfying sex that made me feel like a testosterone beast after.

But then I fucked her again earlier today and it did not feel as passionate. It was still probably better than I would have with a random girl, but it was still a major drop in satisfaction.

Is this normal? What can I do about it

Normal, you are going through a mini burn out.... try to sleep with girls you vibe with and chemistry and get along with those lays are very enjoyable... usually if you bust a nut and you don't want to dissapear is a good test

 

[Alpha13SC]

It s a journey.

The desire to have sex.

The desire to be better at sex and give better orgasm.

The desire to fuck two girls in the same day.

The desire to become better at seducing, approaching and so on.

And so on . .

Along the line you realize that s who you are right now, who you become. Part of your personality, somebody who fucks girls. And now you do it because it s your guilty pleasure, the process, not just the sex itself.

The you find quality girls, hotter, more beautiful and realize it s about who you share your bed with also, not just the act itself.

Fuck your one itis and realize all the effort was worth it because it s what you wanted in a girl and know how to get it.

And strictly for this situation, usually the sex is just sex when the quality isn t that high. I know that when I fuck a girl that I actually like, it feels different than just fucking a cute girl and adding another number.

Alpha13SC

 

[Kaida]

For example, I'm a romantic sort of guy. I enjoy the seduction process and the mini soap opera that I create at least as much as the lay. That's why I do daygame and very little nightgame and don't do any online at all.

Find your passion when it comes to women and build on it.

I’m the same way. I also really like the feeling of a girl looking at me with a mix of deep respect and love.

I don’t really get that with these girls. It doesnt feel deep at all. Some of the girls are really good looking too, like 8-9/10.

Not everyone is out to rack up huge numbers, nothing wrong with it if you want to but everyone likes different things.

Yeah. I was thinking about maybe being more selective, but I feel like that’ll hinder my growth in this skillset. Thats the main reason why I’ve kept going even though I felt empty - so I can get better

PS well done on getting those results btw, it's pretty clear from your posts that you really go after what you want.

Thank you man! This whole thing is teaching me alot about myself and life in general.

I’m a lot more resillient to rejections now. I feel like this’ll leak to the other skills I want to learn, like making money / sales. I’m happy I started seduction

 

[Kaida]

@Chad Tyrone Great articles, Chase addressed what I’m feeling pretty well in the first one

Ultimately though u'll have to question why did u decide to get better with women ...was it for your own pleasure (if u have a high sex drive or are hedonistic in nature)? or was it to prove to yourself or to others that u are masculine...that u can actually get laid?

100% the second one lol. I’m really just trying to improve myself in all masculine areas. By 30 I want to be proud of the man I am

Past a certain point it's all natural when two people come together...u really don't see seduction as wins or losses ,successes or failures.They are just but experiences*shrug*


That's a really different talk though and would depend on who you really are .Who said u can't be a mixture of both though *smirk**wink*

Facts bro. Thank you Chad 🤝🏾

 

[Kaida]

it all will end and leave you with emptiness unless you can weave into your storyline:

1. A had a revelation when I got super stoned and now I see the world a little differently

2. My friends and I had a feast and sharing that experience is what really matters

3. my fwb is fun to hang out with even when we’re not fucking

I mean you just realized a fundamental truth that is preached through all faiths: sensual pleasures are inherently meaningless in and of themselves if you can’t ascribe to them meaning

This whole experience is getting woven into my storyline right now. I’m doing a lot of deep reflection.

Right now as I write this, I’m sitting in a Starbucks working. In here theres a good looking woman to my left.

Normally, I’d approach. But now I’m thinking, I could fuck her right now and I wouldnt feel a thing. In fact, I’d probably feel even more drained and empty. The only thing that would make it satisfying is that I worked for it and then I got what I wanted. It has no value to me after.

One thing is though, I’ve mentioned multiple times about how my connection game is nonexistent. I don’t really build connections with girls, my process is more of just finding the DTF ones.

Thats what I’m going to work on next. Hopefully it helps.

 

[Rakehell]

I think it’s pretty common for guys who join up to get their initial goals conflated with the other guys on the forum.

In the end you end up with a combination of things that you want to achieve that don’t necessarily align with what led you here.

So your sense of motivation dwindles because it’s not something that you really want.

I think it’d be good to take some time off from here and identify what you’re in it for, and why you don’t feel accomplished when accomplishing what you think you should be.

 

[Mr.SocialAcceptableHarem]

I think it’s pretty common for guys who join up to get their initial goals conflated with the other guys on the forum.

In the end you end up with a combination of things that you want to achieve that don’t necessarily align with what led you here.

So your sense of motivation dwindles because it’s not something that you really want.

I think it’d be good to take some time off from here and identify what you’re in it for, and why you don’t feel accomplished when accomplishing what you think you should be.

Yeah maybe I was too preachy about morality

 

[Will_V]

This whole experience is getting woven into my storyline right now. I’m doing a lot of deep reflection.

Right now as I write this, I’m sitting in a Starbucks working. In here theres a good looking woman to my left.

Normally, I’d approach. But now I’m thinking, I could fuck her right now and I wouldnt feel a thing. In fact, I’d probably feel even more drained and empty. The only thing that would make it satisfying is that I worked for it and then I got what I wanted. It has no value to me after.

One thing is though, I’ve mentioned multiple times about how my connection game is nonexistent. I don’t really build connections with girls, my process is more of just finding the DTF ones.

Thats what I’m going to work on next. Hopefully it helps.

Self expression is what seems to be missing here. You're having all this sex but you aren't doing it in a way that reinforces the kind of guy you are.

It seems like I was lucky with my first lay ever, even though I met her at a club and she was way more experienced than I, it became this 3-month whirlwind romance where I basically stayed in her house and fucked her silly and then we'd go off doing random stuff together, like cycling, visiting random locations, eating at random places (it was in Brazil and I was on exchange so there was a lot for her to show me). She'd drive off to work in the morning and drop me off, we'd meet again in the evening, and weekends were just all adventures.

Probably my favorite memory with her was when we were going out with her friends somewhere, they had come over and were all there in the apartment lounge talking. She had this cute little dress on and was all made up and ready to go. And then she needed something from her room. Me being a horndog I followed her into the room, grabbed her and threw her on the bed and gave it to her for about five minutes. Then we fixed ourselves up and came out trying to look like nothing happened, and she had this beaming smile for the rest of the night that she couldn't get off her face. I remember feeling this rearrangement of my perception where I realized deep down that my role with women was to give them adventure and spontaneity, not to just take them home from the club or be some reliable boyfriend.

There was another time when she found a letter I'd written in bad portuguese to some girl I had virgin oneitis over and had never sent, and she pretended to be mad at me, but I knew she really wasn't and that she'd somehow enjoyed reading it and wished it was for her.

Point is at that time I didn't have any notion of what time spent with a girl was supposed to be like, I just did whatever I felt like doing. I 'invested' way too much time with her, did things you aren't supposed to do like hanging with her friends or cuddling all day - she even took me to see her mom lol, I was just like 'ok why not? Let's go'. But in the end I fully expressed myself with her, I wasn't following some script, and she was wonderful enough to give me that opportunity even though looking back I was a bit of a vagabond both physically and emotionally lol.

That became my baseline for interacting with women, I never saw them simply as numbers to rack up but the opportunity for all kinds of fun and unexpected things. And over time that aspect of it has become even more satisfying to me.

What is it that you want to remember from your experiences with women? Maybe you don't know yet, but if you throw yourself into all kinds of experiences that aren't just following some find-the-DTF-girl script, I'm sure you'll quickly find out.

 

[POB]

Do something cool besides getting girls to bed (AKA have hobbies).
Then incorporate that into seduction.
It's the best way to self-express while getting intimate with girls.
E.g.
- skills is into dancing and body expression. So a lot of his seduction revolves around it.
- teevster is into psychology and social dynamics. A big piece of his process is about that.
and so on...

 

[POB]

Another thing to take into consideration: most people are simply not that interesting.
When you are a guy with a rich background, meaning you have a lot of interests and a
lot of cool things going in your favor, it becomes hard to take interest in anything a regular girl can provide besides sex.

Not talking about feeling superior or any of that red pill shit...it's just how it goes.
The best way to counter that is to create your whole awesome personal world and let the best ones in.
Then every time you meet someone interesting, you are able to write a new story with her and forge a wonderful
path that she can walk with you.

 

[Kaida]

Point is at that time I didn't have any notion of what time spent with a girl was supposed to be like, I just did whatever I felt like doing. I 'invested' way too much time with her, did things you aren't supposed to do like hanging with her friends or cuddling all day - she even took me to see her mom lol, I was just like 'ok why not? Let's go'.

Yeah, I think you’re right. This is exactly the thing.

If you remember that huge LR I made a while back with that virgin in my hometown - one week before I left for college, I made up with her and we started hanging out again.

I felt like I was overinvesting and running “bad game”, but I just did whatever I wanted anyway since I was leaving in a few days.

We hung out almost every day that week. I basically treated her like my girlfriend. Now it’s one of my favorite romantic memories looking back. Shes not even necessarily as hot as the girls I’ve fucked over here, but I still cant wait to see her again.

But in the end I fully expressed myself with her, I wasn't following some script, and she was wonderful enough to give me that opportunity even though looking back I was a bit of a vagabond both physically and emotionally lol.

Thats right. I’m going to stop going off of a script and start leading more natural seductions based on how I want to express myself.

My lay count will probably be lower and I might get hurt a few times, but I’ll at least learn more about what I want to get out of this.

 

[HoofHearted]

This was sent to my attention. I've left this forum because I believe it's poorly moderated and I wasn't getting appreciable returns on my time here.

So here's one perspective, since sexual education is lowkey a passion of mine, and you can take or leave this. But it's intended to be helpful.

And the answer to this problem, maybe surprisingly, is more education about sex. I'm sure you know what a clitoris is. You may or may not know what a G-spot is, or you may know more or less about your partner's anatomy. Always good to learn more, as well as the physical techniques engendered by the nature of that anatomy.

However, this isn't the point about education I would suggest for the problem you're facing. I would encourage you to view sex more experientially-- that is, as an experience that you help (and I'll say, perhaps with a degree of being politically correct, *lead*) to create.

If sex is leaving a person in the state you're describing, I would encourage that person to own their experience. When we take ownership, that means that we can change and improve it. I think you've implicitly done this ownership by asking 'what can I do about it?' I would have you consider you're at least half the thing that's doing it already, so hopefully the question becomes 'what can I do differently about it.' And, as a point of hope, I would like you to know that this situation *can* improve, and *will* improve if you improve it. Believing this is key. Viewing yourself as stuck in being unhappy, or that sex is always going to be 'this way' for you, is not just standing still-- it's moving backwards, and your experiences will get worse.

So if we own it, we open our eyes to the possibility of what we can create. You have the power to create an environment and context that can make both you and your partner experience pleasure and meaningful experience. There are several books about this, most of them pop abstractions of studies in clinical psychology, and I'll admit those books on the face of it are highly unreadable and their authors unpleasant. You can dive in all you'd like. But I present to you the contestable notion that the foundation of pleasurable sex is often times a degree of relaxation, presence, connectedness, trust and safety (yes, yes there's also 'skydiving, jump out of an airplane' adrenaline sex, but I find the mythology of that too glorified and the discussion of these boring foundational elements skimmed over. Someone else can make that reply).

The quality of these experiences is so largely and forgottenly in your hands. You know more than you think you know. You know how to be with another person and offer them courtesy, and a good connected time. You know how to connect and be appropriately vulnerable. I contend that the building blocks are boring-- mental presence, empathy, sharing, giving, courtesy, considering someone else's happiness.

At the same time, it's always a percentage chance. Life owes us no specific brand of experience and does contribute to how experiences come about. But there's a Buddhist saying about this fact that puts it into perspective, and it's relevant here. Happiness given to us is a source of happiness (or in your case, satisfaction) that will always be *at least* somewhat out of our control. The more steady kind of happiness is the kind that comes from giving happiness to others; that's the only kind of happiness we're really in control of.

The reason I share is because I've taken a journey myself. Having had upwards of 15 partners now, and asking myself questions about those experiences, naturally led me to think along similar lines at one point in time. I don't think this situation is a problem or a pathology. I think it's more likely a rite of passage and growth.

 

[King Indra]

I kind of get what you're tapping into. There was a period right at the end of my twenties were I felt the same way, with two plates I was seeing semi-regularly.

It passes. What helped me was to indulge myself in other social avenues (friends and family) a little more, dive more into my hobbies (of which there are many) and, eventually, in the case of one of those plates, try some new, kinkier, freakier activities that breathed new life into the experience (A beer is due for whoever invented flavoured lube).

 

[Bill]

You are probably too stuck in your head and not actually being present to the experience