FU Sexting Attempt

[TheEcho]

Hey all,

This will be a bit different. Already have had a decent amount of contact with this girl, but she lives far away and occasionally visits my area. She was pretty into me during our first interaction, but she had to leave soon after.

Going to present today’s whole convo for context, though I think the meat of it is later. I think she actually got annoyed I gave up the pursuit, but I’ll let y’all judge.

Her: Hey! How’re you?

Me: Hey good, probably about to start blazing my own trail since jobs aren't opening up
Me: How’re you?

Her: Really? I’m so sorry. It is a tough Markey down there since everyone is moving there.
Her: I’m doing well. Just working and going to the gym mostly. Figured I’d check in on you

Me: It's so cheesy but feels like one of those "part of my journey" things
Me: Cool, basically the same for me, lots of focus on fitness since I have the time
Me: How's your progress?

Her: I don’t think that’s crazy! I think that’s a very positive outlook. That’s fair! How is your progress?
Her: I’ve put on a pound of muscle a week so I’m proud of that!

Me: *sends her shirtless selfie*
Me: Going decently, upped my protein by like 50% and am sort of trying to cut at the same time. The squish is still there, though
Me: Wow, that's nuts, good job

Her: You look great!! You have abs lol what are you talking about?? (I don't think so but okay lol)
Her: Thank you!

Me: Don't get too excited now, they're just a 2 pack
Me: Thanks though haha

Her: Haha I have a kegger (she's quite fit lol)
Her: You look great haha
Her: You're welcome

Me: Lol, you're a girl. Boobs, butt, subcutaneous fat, those niceties make it extra hard for you

Her: Yeah but STILL
Her: “Niceties” haha that made me laugh

Me: Goal accomplished
Me: Kidding lol
Me: Curious what you're currently looking like, feel free to be as vanilla or not as you like

Her: Lol the only progress pictures i have aren’t very vanilla so I’ll have to decline

Me: Then I demand chocolate *indignant emoji*

Her: Haha
Her: *SpongeBob CHOCOLATE gif*

Me: See, we were trained young to love not vanilla

Her: Haha oh I’m sure you would but not everyone deserves chocolate (this threw me off, seeming like I was close ruined my outcome independence)

TMI incoming lol

Me: Fine, no cake for you
Me: Honestly though, my ass is huge
Me: Used to get cradled for it's magnificence (my ex LOVED my butt lol)

Her: Haha I’m jealous! You are not huge lol. You’re MUSCULAR
Her:

Me: You think I'm joking
Me: My butt got hugged more than I did lol

Her:
Her: Lol well you should feel blessed

Me: Yes, blessed by the not vanilla

Her: Haha true

Me: You missed your queue
Me: Yes, blessed by the not vanilla

Her: Lol you’re blessed by chocolate?
Her: Not mine lol but YOURS

Me:

Her:

Me: You know.... You're right, I don't want chocolate
Me: I deserve
Me:

Her: you DESERVE ? Nice try

Me: *Plankton gif about only aggressive people rule the world*

Her: *SpongeBob around town gif* (confused what that meant)

Me: Send me something, ya stingy
Me: Can’t tell me you have no smiling pics lol

Her: *a decent selfie, eyes and mouth closed, though*
Her: There ya go

Me: Lol, see not so hard
Me: Just don't be asking me for anything crazy, I'm not that easy

No response… feel like she was actually going to crack, but I didn’t operate correctly and she got annoyed by my last ask (which I agree sounds guilt-y and not great)

Let me know what you all think!

Thanks all!

 

[Skills]

Hey all,

This will be a bit different. Already have had a decent amount of contact with this girl, but she lives far away and occasionally visits my area. She was pretty into me during our first interaction, but she had to leave soon after.

Going to present today’s whole convo for context, though I think the meat of it is later. I think she actually got annoyed I gave up the pursuit, but I’ll let y’all judge.

Her: Hey! How’re you?

skills : not good :-(

her: oh no why

skills: causeyou are not here with me, j/k, i am here at the gym trying to look fit and sexy for our upcoming date. See i compliment her cheezy, then get cooky and move things forward, i am just flirting gauging were she is at and how she respond to my flriting to see how to proceed....

Me: Hey good, probably about to start blazing my own trail since jobs aren't opening up
Me: How’re you?

^this is unnecesary dlv, talking about "jobs arent opening up" you are subcommunicating you have no job, and difficulty finding a job, horrible... weak pathetic, you never text display of low value, unnecessary....

Her: Really? I’m so sorry. It is a tough Markey down there since everyone is moving there.
Her: I’m doing well. Just working and going to the gym mostly. Figured I’d check in on you

Aww! thank you, I appreciate that, love that you go to the gym and take care of your body that is awesome, send me a picture of you to show santa what i want for christmas.... note. i reward her positive complaince, on checking on me, and reward her about being at the gym due to her giving me compliance.....

Me: It's so cheesy but feels like one of those "part of my journey" things
Me: Cool, basically the same for me, lots of focus on fitness since I have the time
Me: How's your progress?

no bad, this is a positive texting no mistakes

Her: I don’t think that’s crazy! I think that’s a very positive outlook. That’s fair! How is your progress?
Her: I’ve put on a pound of muscle a week so I’m proud of that!

Me: *sends her shirtless selfie*
Me: Going decently, upped my protein by like 50% and am sort of trying to cut at the same time. The squish is still there, though
Me: Wow, that's nuts, good job

Her: You look great!! You have abs lol what are you talking about?? (I don't think so but okay lol)
Her: Thank you!

Me: Don't get too excited now, they're just a 2 pack
Me: Thanks though haha

Her: Haha I have a kegger (she's quite fit lol)
Her: You look great haha
Her: You're welcome

Me: Lol, you're a girl. Boobs, butt, subcutaneous fat, those niceties make it extra hard for you

Her: Yeah but STILL
Her: “Niceties” haha that made me laugh

Me: Goal accomplished
Me: Kidding lol
Me: Curious what you're currently looking like, feel free to be as vanilla or not as you like

Her: Lol the only progress pictures i have aren’t very vanilla so I’ll have to decline

Me: Then I demand chocolate *indignant emoji*

Her: Haha
Her: *SpongeBob CHOCOLATE gif*

Me: See, we were trained young to love not vanilla

Her: Haha oh I’m sure you would but not everyone deserves chocolate (this threw me off, seeming like I was close ruined my outcome independence)

TMI incoming lol

Me: Fine, no cake for you
Me: Honestly though, my ass is huge
Me: Used to get cradled for it's magnificence (my ex LOVED my butt lol)

Her: Haha I’m jealous! You are not huge lol. You’re MUSCULAR
Her:

Me: You think I'm joking
Me: My butt got hugged more than I did lol

Her:
Her: Lol well you should feel blessed

Me: Yes, blessed by the not vanilla

Her: Haha true

Me: You missed your queue
Me: Yes, blessed by the not vanilla

Her: Lol you’re blessed by chocolate?
Her: Not mine lol but YOURS

Me:

Her:

Me: You know.... You're right, I don't want chocolate
Me: I deserve
Me:

Her: you DESERVE ? Nice try

Me: *Plankton gif about only aggressive people rule the world*

Her: *SpongeBob around town gif* (confused what that meant)

Me: Send me something, ya stingy to
Me: Can’t tell me you have no smiling pics lol

Her: *a decent selfie, eyes and mouth closed, though*
Her: There ya go

^ no too bad just too much on that tread but it was ok, though when you get the pic, that is how i kind of sexualize, like damm, you just woke up optimus prime (so i do a bit of grandmaster style to the pic), but in a safe way to gauge her reaction...

Me: Lol, see not so hard
Me: Just don't be asking me for anything crazy, I'm not that easy

^ i personally reward the compliance of sending the pic, and compliment her like i did in the previous example and gauge how far i can do by light humorous sex banter, based on that i know if to cont. or back of... You did not reward compliance you lol her pic (could be misinterpreted by her), got overly cocky aka over reached.....

No response… feel like she was actually going to crack, but I didn’t operate correctly and she got annoyed by my last ask (which I agree sounds guilt-y and not great)

Let me know what you all think!

Thanks all!

you got stuck on the gym thread for too long, I recommend you to go on my archive and see how to text/specially sexting i give a bunch of examples on how to do this.... Also other than being a stuck in a gym tread, you miss a million oportunities to transition to sexting and moving things forward........ check how i do your texting.... Send her the eyes emoji, as a ping..... Again recommend you go through my texting guides archives in the forum... Though you have the right idea of flirting with texting, vs text to meet, you need to refine some stuff... and move things foward, which you are not doing...

 

[TheEcho]

Thanks for the thorough response Skills! A couple things affecting the dynamic… we’ve talked a lot beforehand and our families know each other and are “good Christian folks” so I’m hesitant about jumping into really edgy talk. She’s also living far away, so not much can happen unless she visits her parents here.

I did heart her picture as a little reward, but it wasn’t a great picture either lol. I’ll dig up your stuff though!

 

[TheEcho]

Picking up the thread:

The last thing I had sent was a SpongeBob gif of him throwing petals on grumpy Squidward last night

This morning:
Sent her a nicer shirtless selfie (before I read Skills response)
Me: Making use of that early morning dehydration. Good luck with work

Her: You look good! Progress

Me: Trying to be in the running for when you're competition ready

Her: Haha oh hush. You are already there

......................

Excuse me as I smack my head against a wall in honor of long-distance, interested babes...

Came back with:

Me: Mmmm...
Me: When are you back in town?

Her: Probably not for a little while. I am not able to save any money so I need to make sure I'm squared away with bills

Not unexpected...

 

[BrideBeGone]

She’s also living far away, so not much can happen unless she visits her parents here.

I did heart her picture as a little reward, but it wasn’t a great picture either lol.

Me: When are you back in town?

Her: Probably not for a little while. I am not able to save any money so I need to make sure I'm squared away with bills

Hey guys, I'm new here (female), so allow me my take on this.

My first question/comment is, why didn't you suggest meeting her in her area, why wait until she next visits her parents and/or SHE has the $$$ to visit you?

That does not sound like high interest on your part, as a man interested in a woman. It sounds like you're willing to meet her when it's convenient for you.

If me, I would have been put off by that and no I'm not "entitled" but rather a bit old fashioned in the sense that early on, when a man is interested, he will make the effort.

So if I have this right, you sent her pics of you (shirtless) and she responded each time with an enthusiastic "nice, you look good"!

She sent you a picture of her and your response was a ❤ as a "reward"??

I'm sorry @TheEcho but ugh. As a woman, that's a bit deflating.

In her mind, you're not attracted, you don't find her that attractive otherwise you would given her a genuine compliment not a heart as a reward.

Personally I don't quite get the reward bit, can you expound on that?

Are you attracted to her, do you find her physically attractive? If so, why not have shot back a compliment same as she did when you sent her your pic?

In these very very early stages, it's about mutual attraction and IOIs. Not sure where "reward" fits in here.

Anyway, imo that's why she's put off. I could be wrong, just my take.

 

[TheEcho]

She sent an eyes closed, grinning picture (fully clothed), she is cute, but even that is a hardly flattering picture. This isn't the first time I asked about her progress pics, she's intentionally not taken/given alternate "appropriate" ones. Quite sure she's wanting me to get her to send me them and was upset the game ended. (to be fair, I was a bit lost at that point and she had shown little investment on her side, thus me asking for ANY picture)

First, I don't currently have money, that's my great tribulation I'm working through after college, second, she has reason to come here, she's the only reason I'd go there. I'd be dive bombing straight into boyfriend land or friendzone. Both families would also find out very quickly I'm over there, so 0 fun stuff would happen in that situation.

8 months out of a 5 year relationship, I'm not trying to date anyone for a while. The next person I "attach" to will probably be my future wife, but I kept jumping into relationships asap in the past and have yet to satisfy my desire for quantity/variety as a man.

 

[BrideBeGone]

OK thanks for clarifying and providing more context.

Yeah, not sure why she would have sent a picture like that, not very enticing. Your reply with the heart was appropriate.

Again, I'm new here so don't have everyone's history, but in any event, I doubt she's into sexting (your thread title). She completely shut it down sending a picture like that..

 

[TheEcho]

No worries, I updated the reply a bit, should add even more context as to why I think she DOES want to sext, but needs me to get her "there". She is pretty young, so her calibration seems to be a bit too demanding lol, but maybe that's just me. Not going to say the way I went about it was ideal.

 

[BrideBeGone]

Quite sure she's wanting me to get her to send me them and was upset the game ended.

By "get her" to send you more alluring pics, do you mean she wants you to chase her for them or gasp "beg" her to send them?

Is that what you think she means by keeping the game going?

If so, ugh I wouldn't advise following her frame like that, maintain your own frame as a man and if she's not complying, consider moving on.

Never beg or chase, it lowers your value in her eyes and SMV in general.

And remember I'm a chick saying this!

How old is she?

Just my $.02, good luck!

 

[TheEcho]

Just a combination of excited/comfortable. In the mood to do something as "dramatic" as send me pictures of her naked self. More of a dance, like going through a date and getting a girl comfortable to actually have sex. The level of investment of both of those can be similarly high, especially for younger girls, so getting her to do it would likely be a large increase in her attraction. Though she sounds possibly ready for irl stuff, based on the following texts (above your first comment).

Early 20's, forgot exactly how old lol

 

[BrideBeGone]

Just a combination of excited/comfortable. In the mood to do something as "dramatic" as send me pictures of her naked self. More of a dance, like going through a date and getting a girl comfortable to actually have sex.

^^Fair enough! And I can definitely relate!

Although when I did on line, I preferred to send no additional pics at all rather than an unattractive one, like your girl did.

He would have my original pics from my profile and then wait to meet to feel the vibe/energy in person.

If we did not meet on a dating app/site but rather a site like this for example, and he had no pics, I would wait until the comfort level was there before sending any pics or I'd send an attractive pic but neutral.

But I tend to not trust the internet (I have my reasons) but that's another thread. Lol

So yeah she could be the same, it's hard to know for certain.

There is so much uncertainty during these early stages which can be fun and build attraction while at the same time extremely anxiety provoking!

My advice is enjoy the dance and have fun with it!

 

[TheEcho]

Makes sense, I totally avoid online though. Don't have amazing pictures so I get zero attention lol, it's nuts. As someone comfortable with walking up to girls, it's a total waste of time until my pictures are sorted and I have my own place.

This girl, she came over with her family for a party with my family. She was pretty flirty ("oh I was just trying to hold your hand" as a tease is the main one I remember), tried to hangout the next day before she left but she wanted to spend it with her parents, which fair enough.

 

[BrideBeGone]

Makes sense, I totally avoid online though. Don't have amazing pictures so I get zero attention lol, it's nuts. As someone comfortable with walking up to girls, it's a total waste of time until my pictures are sorted and I have my own place.

This girl, she came over with her family for a party with my family. She was pretty flirty ("oh I was just trying to hold your hand" as a tease is the main one I remember), tried to hangout the next day before she left but she wanted to spend it with her parents, which fair enough.

Oh I see, I didn't realize you had already met in person with her family! I thought it was just on line, my bad!

That changes things a bit; anyway trust your gut on this and see how it plays out.