- Joined
- Sep 8, 2024
- Messages
- 92
Writing this after my date with the girl in question here. I don't think I did anything wrong and I'm concluding that her excuses were legitimate but I was wondering if anyone else had a different opinion
Last Thursday, I was out in NYC at my usual spots. I've stopped going out to venues I don't enjoy much (dance bars/clubs, packed bars without some activity etc) and started focusing on the locations that i do enjoy (primarily dive bars with pool tables, darts and other games). I don't enjoy dancing so it kills my state whenever I have to do it. Pool also happens to be something I'm good at and I can usually employ a teacher frame with girls. This night, it was around 1:30am and I was in one of such dive bars, watching an ongoing pool game.
I wasn't going to play since I'd been playing all night and honestly just wanted to talk to some girls. It was two girls vs two guys on the table - they all sucked but I had nothing better to do, all my other bars were dead. I had tried to chat up one of the girls before because she had cool tattoos and I wanted to get my social momentum up. She said she was with her girlfriend (pointing to her teammate) which made me assume they were a lesbian couple (this turned out to be false).
One of the guys on the table said I couldn't hover over the table since it distracts their game. That's a valid complaint in competitive pool leagues but these guys were ass so it pissed me off. Nevertheless, I respected the game and withdrew myself from the table. As I walk away, the other girl asked me "did he just tell you to leave?"
Me: "Yeah but he's doing too much because you honestly all suck" (i'm usually not as direct but i was pissed and impatient, I also wasn't considering her a target - she's about a 6/10 - i'd lay but wouldn't lose sleep over)
Her: "No wayy, you must be really good then"
Me: "Well better than you guys for sure"
She laughs which brings my mood up a bit and I start to coach her and her teammate. They're getting their ass kicked but I managed to make it a close game which she appreciates. Since they lost the game, they lost the table and this gives us room to chat. I've been trying to adopt a more James D - eccentric style of conversation which is really dramatic and fun. She loves it and we're flirting hard now. I also noticed her ass looked great in the jeans she had on so my interest was definitely piqued lol. After a while, she says she has to leave with her friend and I tell her we should grab a drink to which she agrees and i get her number.
The next day I text her but I later decide to not pursue it because it was friday and I reasoned that I could pull a hotter chick lol. The weekend passes and I was able to get another strong number (which i have a tentative date with) but no lay. So I decided to spin the block and re-engage her lol.
Texting:
Me: my name (after getting her number)
Me: <wave emoji> how's my favorite <where she's from> girl doing? (2pm later that day)
Her: sup im doing good
Her: hbu?
Me: good! just finished a big workout, looking nice and fit for our date
Me: so what you up to today?
<no response>
<wait about 36 hours>
Me: ...
Her: sup lmao it was a busy weekend
Her: how was ur wknd?
Me: lol i feel you. im ready for 4 day work weeks
Me: it was cool, mostly just caught up with friends and played too much pool. how about you?
Her: ooh practicing your pool skills so you can teach me?
Her: my weekend was chill too, hung with friends and went to <some festival>
Me: exactly <wink emoji>
Me: oh sick, how was the festival, haven't been to a festival in ny yet
<no response for an hour>
I sense she probably wants me to move things forward to a date so i triple text
Me: what's ur schedule like btw? we gotta get your first lesson started
Her: talks about festival food
Her: u free thurs or fri?
the rest here is just logistics but we set a date and i send her location
At the time of the date, we meet up at the location. She's already in the bar so i walk in and see her by the door - she's much cuter than I remember lol (probably a 7 now) - in my head, I thank God I decided to spin back. I lead her to the bar, we grab seats, I tell her she looks good and the conversation starts.
Right now, I'm working on making girls do some work and chase a bit in my interactions so she was my first test subject. If I didn't have a question in mind to ask, I would just pause while making eye contact and smiling. At the beginning, this didn't do much because she just reciprocated so I would have to re-initiate the conversation. However over time, she started starting threads of her own and was curious about me (i should note she was already doing a bit of this)
We talk for about an hour. i already got some touch in on her thigh and she seemed open to that. We grab the check and head out to a second spot to play some pool. On the way to the second location, I notice her becoming more open and I reciprocate. We reach the second location and she falls in love - it's got good music, good lighting, decent crowd, a pool table etc. I lead her to the pool room and after chatting for a bit, we play a game of pool against two guys. During the game, I'm telling her what to do and giving her my tactical reasons which she's impressed by. I also get more touchy which my hand on her low back while we're watching the other team. Unfortunately we lose the game and have to sit out for a game before we could play again.
Now we grab a seat near the table and I used this time to get more touch in and build more similarity by talking about how music tastes, what she wants to do in the future and interweaving her story with mine - this hits hard and I can see she's more comfortable and likes me now. I'd say the only thing really lacking here was sexual tension/sexual arousal on her part. She was aroused but not enough to want to jump my bones right there
We play another pool game and this time we win! We decide to leave the bar and my plan here was to head to my place for a nightcap and to seal the deal there. However, as soon as we get out of the bar, she says she has to leave because of work in the morning
Trying to remember the exact conversation we had here but it's foggy now. I got her to agree to stay for 10 more minutes but when she found out we'd be going to mine, she retorted with "I don't go to guys' house on a first date"
I haven't found any good to these "I dont' do that on the first date" objections/rules that girl have. At this point, I just concede, kiss her and tell her I'll walk her to the subway station.
On the way to the station, I open up a bunch of conversation threads to show i'm not butthurt and she responds in kind. I then stop starting conversation to let her chase a bit - she does and starts random conversations to avoid the silence. I "reward" her by fully engaging these conversation points, teasing etc. She continues to start up conversations and we end up holding hands halfway to the subway station. She also wanted us to take the longer route and when we got to the subway station, she had something she NEEDED to show me. I put my hand out and she "dragged me" to the subway room which is one of the most beautiful i've ever seen (it's a fancy station). After admiring the view, I kiss her, tell her I had a good time and told her to text me when she got home. I could see she had the "i want you" eyes as we separate so it sucked even more that i couldn't lay her. I think this is a second date lay scenario.
Last Thursday, I was out in NYC at my usual spots. I've stopped going out to venues I don't enjoy much (dance bars/clubs, packed bars without some activity etc) and started focusing on the locations that i do enjoy (primarily dive bars with pool tables, darts and other games). I don't enjoy dancing so it kills my state whenever I have to do it. Pool also happens to be something I'm good at and I can usually employ a teacher frame with girls. This night, it was around 1:30am and I was in one of such dive bars, watching an ongoing pool game.
I wasn't going to play since I'd been playing all night and honestly just wanted to talk to some girls. It was two girls vs two guys on the table - they all sucked but I had nothing better to do, all my other bars were dead. I had tried to chat up one of the girls before because she had cool tattoos and I wanted to get my social momentum up. She said she was with her girlfriend (pointing to her teammate) which made me assume they were a lesbian couple (this turned out to be false).
One of the guys on the table said I couldn't hover over the table since it distracts their game. That's a valid complaint in competitive pool leagues but these guys were ass so it pissed me off. Nevertheless, I respected the game and withdrew myself from the table. As I walk away, the other girl asked me "did he just tell you to leave?"
Me: "Yeah but he's doing too much because you honestly all suck" (i'm usually not as direct but i was pissed and impatient, I also wasn't considering her a target - she's about a 6/10 - i'd lay but wouldn't lose sleep over)
Her: "No wayy, you must be really good then"
Me: "Well better than you guys for sure"
She laughs which brings my mood up a bit and I start to coach her and her teammate. They're getting their ass kicked but I managed to make it a close game which she appreciates. Since they lost the game, they lost the table and this gives us room to chat. I've been trying to adopt a more James D - eccentric style of conversation which is really dramatic and fun. She loves it and we're flirting hard now. I also noticed her ass looked great in the jeans she had on so my interest was definitely piqued lol. After a while, she says she has to leave with her friend and I tell her we should grab a drink to which she agrees and i get her number.
The next day I text her but I later decide to not pursue it because it was friday and I reasoned that I could pull a hotter chick lol. The weekend passes and I was able to get another strong number (which i have a tentative date with) but no lay. So I decided to spin the block and re-engage her lol.
Texting:
Me: my name (after getting her number)
Me: <wave emoji> how's my favorite <where she's from> girl doing? (2pm later that day)
Her: sup im doing good
Her: hbu?
Me: good! just finished a big workout, looking nice and fit for our date
Me: so what you up to today?
<no response>
<wait about 36 hours>
Me: ...
Her: sup lmao it was a busy weekend
Her: how was ur wknd?
Me: lol i feel you. im ready for 4 day work weeks
Me: it was cool, mostly just caught up with friends and played too much pool. how about you?
Her: ooh practicing your pool skills so you can teach me?
Her: my weekend was chill too, hung with friends and went to <some festival>
Me: exactly <wink emoji>
Me: oh sick, how was the festival, haven't been to a festival in ny yet
<no response for an hour>
I sense she probably wants me to move things forward to a date so i triple text
Me: what's ur schedule like btw? we gotta get your first lesson started
Her: talks about festival food
Her: u free thurs or fri?
the rest here is just logistics but we set a date and i send her location
At the time of the date, we meet up at the location. She's already in the bar so i walk in and see her by the door - she's much cuter than I remember lol (probably a 7 now) - in my head, I thank God I decided to spin back. I lead her to the bar, we grab seats, I tell her she looks good and the conversation starts.
Right now, I'm working on making girls do some work and chase a bit in my interactions so she was my first test subject. If I didn't have a question in mind to ask, I would just pause while making eye contact and smiling. At the beginning, this didn't do much because she just reciprocated so I would have to re-initiate the conversation. However over time, she started starting threads of her own and was curious about me (i should note she was already doing a bit of this)
We talk for about an hour. i already got some touch in on her thigh and she seemed open to that. We grab the check and head out to a second spot to play some pool. On the way to the second location, I notice her becoming more open and I reciprocate. We reach the second location and she falls in love - it's got good music, good lighting, decent crowd, a pool table etc. I lead her to the pool room and after chatting for a bit, we play a game of pool against two guys. During the game, I'm telling her what to do and giving her my tactical reasons which she's impressed by. I also get more touchy which my hand on her low back while we're watching the other team. Unfortunately we lose the game and have to sit out for a game before we could play again.
Now we grab a seat near the table and I used this time to get more touch in and build more similarity by talking about how music tastes, what she wants to do in the future and interweaving her story with mine - this hits hard and I can see she's more comfortable and likes me now. I'd say the only thing really lacking here was sexual tension/sexual arousal on her part. She was aroused but not enough to want to jump my bones right there
We play another pool game and this time we win! We decide to leave the bar and my plan here was to head to my place for a nightcap and to seal the deal there. However, as soon as we get out of the bar, she says she has to leave because of work in the morning
Trying to remember the exact conversation we had here but it's foggy now. I got her to agree to stay for 10 more minutes but when she found out we'd be going to mine, she retorted with "I don't go to guys' house on a first date"
I haven't found any good to these "I dont' do that on the first date" objections/rules that girl have. At this point, I just concede, kiss her and tell her I'll walk her to the subway station.
On the way to the station, I open up a bunch of conversation threads to show i'm not butthurt and she responds in kind. I then stop starting conversation to let her chase a bit - she does and starts random conversations to avoid the silence. I "reward" her by fully engaging these conversation points, teasing etc. She continues to start up conversations and we end up holding hands halfway to the subway station. She also wanted us to take the longer route and when we got to the subway station, she had something she NEEDED to show me. I put my hand out and she "dragged me" to the subway room which is one of the most beautiful i've ever seen (it's a fancy station). After admiring the view, I kiss her, tell her I had a good time and told her to text me when she got home. I could see she had the "i want you" eyes as we separate so it sucked even more that i couldn't lay her. I think this is a second date lay scenario.
