shall i continue not to text, or not?

[killerman]

Ok there's this girl i've been seeing recently, and i can tell she's really into me, and i'm really into her. When we talk we only ever talk about deep, serious topics, and it can get very deep. I feel we have a really special connection. Now I only text to set dates but recently she's been complaining that i never text. Now we only see each other once every 2 weeks but it's getting quite serious. Is there any harm in me sending the odd text like every so often like once or twice a week? I know you're only supposed to text to set up dates but maybe that's only in the initial stages.? Seeing how we're moving to relationship territory should i be texting it bit more often? she's been saying that it seems like i dont care so maybe not texting at all is going to an extreme that's not necessary?

 

[Lotus]

This post is under the assumption you have slept with her already.

Have you made it clear that you don't like texting and that you are busy so you don't have time for texting? That's the easiest place to start.

I know you're only supposed to text to set up dates but maybe that's only in the initial stages.?

What I have been doing is adding liberal amounts of flirting and smiley's within the texts for logistics/hangouts to maintain some fun and comfort... normally on Sunday or Monday, but I leave specifics open. The only thing I establish the first contact is that we are hanging out and what day- 3-5 texts and then leave the conversation open(1:1 ratio), so later in the week I can follow up with specifics.

I've recently been trying to look at everything in terms of a balance scale. If you want to take something off the scale(less texts) you have to put something else on the scale(warmer texts), to keep her satisfied.

It's actually pretty closely related to the mechanics of Howell's post.
viewtopic.php?f=6&t=11415

Anyway whatever you decide to do just remember once you begin texting more, it will be almost impossible to back track and keep her happy within the relationship.

Lotus

 

[Dude909]

There is No absolute right amount of texting. You first need to decide if you want her to be just a fuckbuddy, a serious girlfriend, or something in between (hint: if this is a new relationship, it's too soon to be serious). Once you have decided, you need to have an amount of communication that is congruent to that type of relationship.

Ps: do not enter into arguments and discussions about how much you text her. As a general rule, never enter into arguments with women.

 

[killerman]

Well to be honest, I do want to text her, see how she's doing etc but at the same time I know the dangers of texting. The question is it ok for me to start texting her when the last month ive only texted her to set dates and nothing in between? She says she wishes I'd text more but i'm worried that if i do start texting her a bit, that she'll slowly lose attraction since it's not what i've done since the start. Do you think it's ok for me to send the odd text?

 

[Anonymous]

I would keep the texts to the least amount possible but thats just me. I keep that rule with any new women. I used to start texting girls alot from the beginning and it always backfired. The girl would expect an immediate text whenever she texted me, if not there wuld be more texts asking whats wrong or what am i doing. That gets old quick.