- Joined
- Aug 24, 2024
- Messages
- 39
Goals
Today I am working on being a better conversationalist and developing a killer instinct (closing girls)- Be curious about her and be excited to meet her (opening energy + better conversation)
- Always progress forward, and keep the end in mind (close her)
- Cold read 2 times each conversation
Today I will also list my subconscious or conscious expectations of how the approach would go. This is to improve my predictions.
Expectation: Warm / Neutral / Cold (how I expect they will react)
Reality: Warm / Neutral / Cold (whether they ended up reacting well or being compliant)
Outing
Today I went out to a popular shopping street and mall in the afternoon. After arriving, I meditated for 10 minutes and warmed up my voice before going out.Approach 1
While walking, I noticed a girl with a shapely butt and cute wavy hair. I didn't feel drawn to her, but decided to approach anyway. While walking her, she turned her head and looked at me. So I returned eye contact, as if "noticing" her, said "Hi! I love your hair." She barely reacted to this, so after exchanging a couple of lines I let her go.Expectation: Neutral
Reality: Cold
Takeaways: It's possible we weren't physically compatible, which is why I didn't feel much attraction for her despite her seeming to have attractive qualities.
Approach 2
While entering the mall, I noticed a girl who seemed cute in my peripheral vision heading in my direction. I thought she might have looked at me as I entered. I stopped and got on my phone, waiting for her to pass near so I could "notice" her. She did, but I didn't see any signs of interest. I approached anyway, and she reacted cautiously and shyly. I explained that I loved the gradient in her hair, although I noticed she wasn't that cute up close, so after she thanked me I let her go.Expectation: Warm
Reality: Cold
Takeaways: This girl didn't give any signals of interest like lingering or brushing her hair, so she probably was not interested.
Approach 3
While walking through the mall, I noticed a cute girl who seemed to look at me. I thought it might be an approach invitation, so I caught up. I was concerned because she was very short and might be underage, but she had a nice purse that probably cost money which implied adult income, so I went for it. She seemed pleasantly surprised when I first said "Excuse me", and responded pretty warmly when I complimented her, and we exchanged a couple lines, but I sensed she wasn't committed, and she excused herself shortly after. I gave her a high five.Expectation: Warm
Reality: Warm
Takeaways: This might have been a weak approach invitation. She might have changed her mind after I approached. I liked giving the high five, I should do that more.
Approach 4
While walking through the mall, I saw a girl with bright red hair walk by. She didn't make eye contact or show signs of interest, but I decided to try approaching anyways. However she went onto the escalator and I followed right behind her. I didn't know a smooth way to open in this situation, so I said "Excuse me" from behind to get her attention. Then I complimented her hair, which she responded positively to. We walked and chatted for a bit and she didn't seem in a rush to get away, but I noticed she wasn't as cute up close, so I excused myself.Expectation: Cold
Reality: Warm
Takeaways: I thought this girl would react poorly to being approached from behind on the escalator, however she was more open than I expected. This might be a reference point to give more weird angles a try in the future.
Approach 5
While walking, I saw a pretty girl looking pretty concentrated on her phone walking around. It seemed like she was looking for somewhere specific. I decided to catch up and approach, however after delivering my compliment she said she had to go and left.Expectation: Neutral
Reality: Cold
Takeaways: It seemed pretty clear she was on a mission, so that might have been a fuck off signal.
Approach 6
While trying to find a way to get down from the second floor to approach a cute girl I saw on the first floor, I saw another cute girl walk by on the second floor. I had to choose which to go for. They were both equally attractive to me, so I took a moment to think. I went with the closer one, which was the girl on the second floor. I had to jog a bit and almost cut her off at a corner to catch her attention, stepped a little bit in front of her, and then approached from a side angle. She seemed a bit confused while I was delivering the opener.Me: "Excuse me, hi. I just saw you back over there. And I wanted to come say that I thought you had a really cute sense of style."
Her: "Oh, thank you."
Me: "I, I love the glasses. They kind of contrast with the rest of the fit. It looks good. What's your name?"
Her: <Introduces herself>
Me: <Introduces myself> "Hi, how are you doing today?"
Her: "Good, pretty chill day."
Me: "Pretty chill day? Just got off school or work?"
Her: "Oh no, I have the day off today."
Me: "Oh, no work today. Oh really, so what did you do with your day?"
Her: "Oh, just shopped."
Me: "Yeah, is it normally stressful for you at work?"
Her: "Oh no, I'm in school right now."
Me: "Oh, ok. University?"
Her: "Uh, grad school."
Me: "Grad school, oh wow. That's very uh...rare. Not many people go to grad school."
Her: "Yeah, that's true."
Me: "What do you study?"
Her: "Chemical engineering"
Me: "Chemical engineer, okay. Like...dangerous chemicals?" <I lean back as if concerned>
Her: "Uh, could be..."
Me: "Should I, should I be careful around you...? Do you have dangerous chemicals on your clothes?"
Her: "Uh, not yet" <Laughs>
Me: "Do they make you wear labcoats?"
Her: "Yeah, sometimes"
Me: "Okay, cool." <I come back closer now>
Me: "Uh, you know, let's move this way." <I move a few feet over to a railing>
Her: <She follows me a step>
Me: "Uh, so what are you shopping for? Here, this is a little more out of the way. Looks like people are walking by." <I make a "come here" motion and lean back against a railing to lock in>
Her: "Just some things" <She follows me>
Me: "Okay, are you into fashion?"
Her: "Um, yeah."
Me: "Oh, you are? I like that. I like when people express themselves. What kind of fashion?"
Her: "Uh, anything that's like, popular."
Me: "Okay, so you like copying instagram fits."
Her: "Yeah."
Me: "Oh, what's your favorite one so far? Your favorite style."
Her: "...Classy, simple."
Me: "Okay, classy like what you're wearing or simple like what you're wearing?"
Her: "Uh, this is casual."
Me: "Yeah, it definitely seems more of a casual vibe. I actually like the, um, I don't know what to call it. It's the mix of edgy and casual, or edgy and classy."
Her: "Yeah, yeah"
Me: "You know what I'm talking about? It's like when you have the dress, but then you wear the leather jacket over it. You know that one? It looks super trendy, I don't know why."
Her: "Yeah, yeah"
Me: "Are you, uh, I mean- I don't know if you exercise a lot, or stay fit and healthy as well?" <I got a bit lost on what to say here so went with something random>
Her: "Uh, not really."
Me: "No?"
Her: "No"
Me: "So you just dress to look good."
Her: "Yeah, basically"
Me: "Interesting, you don't even eat salads?"
Her: "No, I don't like salads"
Me: "Okay, what's your favorite food?"
Her: "Uh, I eat a lot."
Me: "You eat a lot? You seem like the kind of girl who would eat Korean food. A lot of Korean food."
Her: "I do, I do."
Me: "Yeah, I bet you love soondobu."
Her: "Ah, maybe not."
Me: "No? Ah, I love soondobu. Okay, what do you eat then?"
Her: "Uh..."
Me: "Are you a big foodie or do you just eat to eat?"
Her: "I'm a foodie."
Me: "Okay, tell me about that."
Her: "Uh, I mean, I enjoy most food, and I'm not that picky, so..."
Me: "Okay, so if someone puts a plate of anything in front of you, then you'd eat it?"
Her: "Pretty much"
Me: "What about...what about, like, bugs?"
Her: "No"
Me: "Okay, most people wouldn't eat that either. Okay, so you do have standards, you just have a big appetite."
Her: "Yeah"
Me: "Ah, I wonder. How do you...how do you burn all the energy? Because you don't exercise either."
Her: "Just, naturally, like genetics."
Me: "High metabolism?"
Her: "Yeah."
Me: "Okay, sound's pretty cool. Anyway, I gotta get going."
Her: "Yeah, me too as well."
Me: "It was nice talking to you. We should, um...we should grab a coffee sometime."
Her: "Uh, I actually have a boyfriend...I wasn't sure..."
Me: "Okay. How's that working out for you?"
Her: "Pretty well"
Me: "Oh, that's awesome. You guys getting married?"
Her: "Uh, maybe some point in the future."
Me: "Okay, wow. Well I hope you have a great time today."
Her: "Thank you"
Her: "Oh, thank you."
Me: "I, I love the glasses. They kind of contrast with the rest of the fit. It looks good. What's your name?"
Her: <Introduces herself>
Me: <Introduces myself> "Hi, how are you doing today?"
Her: "Good, pretty chill day."
Me: "Pretty chill day? Just got off school or work?"
Her: "Oh no, I have the day off today."
Me: "Oh, no work today. Oh really, so what did you do with your day?"
Her: "Oh, just shopped."
Me: "Yeah, is it normally stressful for you at work?"
Her: "Oh no, I'm in school right now."
Me: "Oh, ok. University?"
Her: "Uh, grad school."
Me: "Grad school, oh wow. That's very uh...rare. Not many people go to grad school."
Her: "Yeah, that's true."
Me: "What do you study?"
Her: "Chemical engineering"
Me: "Chemical engineer, okay. Like...dangerous chemicals?" <I lean back as if concerned>
Her: "Uh, could be..."
Me: "Should I, should I be careful around you...? Do you have dangerous chemicals on your clothes?"
Her: "Uh, not yet" <Laughs>
Me: "Do they make you wear labcoats?"
Her: "Yeah, sometimes"
Me: "Okay, cool." <I come back closer now>
Me: "Uh, you know, let's move this way." <I move a few feet over to a railing>
Her: <She follows me a step>
Me: "Uh, so what are you shopping for? Here, this is a little more out of the way. Looks like people are walking by." <I make a "come here" motion and lean back against a railing to lock in>
Her: "Just some things" <She follows me>
Me: "Okay, are you into fashion?"
Her: "Um, yeah."
Me: "Oh, you are? I like that. I like when people express themselves. What kind of fashion?"
Her: "Uh, anything that's like, popular."
Me: "Okay, so you like copying instagram fits."
Her: "Yeah."
Me: "Oh, what's your favorite one so far? Your favorite style."
Her: "...Classy, simple."
Me: "Okay, classy like what you're wearing or simple like what you're wearing?"
Her: "Uh, this is casual."
Me: "Yeah, it definitely seems more of a casual vibe. I actually like the, um, I don't know what to call it. It's the mix of edgy and casual, or edgy and classy."
Her: "Yeah, yeah"
Me: "You know what I'm talking about? It's like when you have the dress, but then you wear the leather jacket over it. You know that one? It looks super trendy, I don't know why."
Her: "Yeah, yeah"
Me: "Are you, uh, I mean- I don't know if you exercise a lot, or stay fit and healthy as well?" <I got a bit lost on what to say here so went with something random>
Her: "Uh, not really."
Me: "No?"
Her: "No"
Me: "So you just dress to look good."
Her: "Yeah, basically"
Me: "Interesting, you don't even eat salads?"
Her: "No, I don't like salads"
Me: "Okay, what's your favorite food?"
Her: "Uh, I eat a lot."
Me: "You eat a lot? You seem like the kind of girl who would eat Korean food. A lot of Korean food."
Her: "I do, I do."
Me: "Yeah, I bet you love soondobu."
Her: "Ah, maybe not."
Me: "No? Ah, I love soondobu. Okay, what do you eat then?"
Her: "Uh..."
Me: "Are you a big foodie or do you just eat to eat?"
Her: "I'm a foodie."
Me: "Okay, tell me about that."
Her: "Uh, I mean, I enjoy most food, and I'm not that picky, so..."
Me: "Okay, so if someone puts a plate of anything in front of you, then you'd eat it?"
Her: "Pretty much"
Me: "What about...what about, like, bugs?"
Her: "No"
Me: "Okay, most people wouldn't eat that either. Okay, so you do have standards, you just have a big appetite."
Her: "Yeah"
Me: "Ah, I wonder. How do you...how do you burn all the energy? Because you don't exercise either."
Her: "Just, naturally, like genetics."
Me: "High metabolism?"
Her: "Yeah."
Me: "Okay, sound's pretty cool. Anyway, I gotta get going."
Her: "Yeah, me too as well."
Me: "It was nice talking to you. We should, um...we should grab a coffee sometime."
Her: "Uh, I actually have a boyfriend...I wasn't sure..."
Me: "Okay. How's that working out for you?"
Her: "Pretty well"
Me: "Oh, that's awesome. You guys getting married?"
Her: "Uh, maybe some point in the future."
Me: "Okay, wow. Well I hope you have a great time today."
Her: "Thank you"
Expectation: Neutral
Reality: Neutral
Takeaways: I asked too many questions and didn't get enough of a response out of her. I could have used more statements in the beginning, like "It's a beautiful day to relax. I bet you've been waiting for a moment to destress after a long week." The slight push-pull with the chemical things was fine.
I could have teased or chase framed her more to see if she would respond to that, something like "Oh, you copy instagram fits. I'm sure you're able to get a lot of attention from boys when you do." Or, "Oh, you eat a lot? Are you trying to say you're good with your mouth?"
I think she wasn't sure if I was romantically interested in her or being social. This is probably because I didn't tease her enough early on and did too much interviewing. She also created some distance from me, so if I closed the distance then that might be more clear.
Approach 7
While browsing a store, I noticed a woman walking towards me with cool leather boots, so I spontaneously complimented her with a frontal approach. She thanked me with a smile but continued moving on.Expectation: N/A
Reality: Neutral
Takeaways: I might have been able to get a little more in her way and use some bigger body language to stop her in the frontal open.
Approach 8
While walking through the mall, I saw a cute girl walk my way. I made eye contact with her and smiled. She held eye contact but seemed to not know how to react and did not return the smile. This felt like a negative sign, but I decided to try testing it anyways, so I turned around and caught up to approach her from the side.I chatted for a couple minutes with her. She was a student just getting off her shift from the mall, and was eating some ice cream. I asked her to move a few steps over to the side and chatted a bit. She continued eating her ice cream while we talked, and I didn't get many clear signs of interest from her. Eventually I didn't know what to say, and since she seemed distracted, I commented that she seemed to really enjoy her ice cream, but the conversation kind of lost steam here and I let her go.
Expectation: Cold
Reality: Neutral
Takeaways: I should have tested her interest by asking her out. I could have also asked for more compliance, pausing for a moment, noticing she's eating, and say, "Hey, you know what? Better not to stand and eat. Come grab a seat with me over there." This would also be a test of her interest levels.
Approach 9
While walking down the street, I noticed a woman with a beautiful colorful dress and spontaneously complimented it. I used big body language and more energy, which seemed to startle her a little and she stumbled. Then she responded positively and thanked me, but kept moving on.Expectation: N/A
Reality: Neutral
Takeaways: Using bigger body langauge and energy was more effective in stopping girls in this frontal open, so I should try to replicate that more.
Approach 10
While walking past the parking garage, I noticed a hot girl entering and decide to follow her. It was a little awkward to run up to catch up to her, and she turned her head and saw me just as I was getting close, so soon after I said "Excuse me" to open from behind. She didn't seem very defensive, so I walked the rest of the way, and kept a little bit of distance between us for ease into it. Then I complimented her style. She reacted positively so I got closer and chatted a couple lines. She seemed friendly but told me she had a boyfriend, so shortly after I ejected.Expectation: Cold
Reality: Warm
Takeaways: I was expecting her to be defensive and weirded out about me running up behind her in the parking garage, but she was pretty friendly. This was a girl with some sexiness working at one of the restaurants nearby, so she was probably socially confident and had a lot of guys hit on her before, explaining why she wasn't super fazed and was friendly.
Approach 11
While walking through the street, I noticed a cute girl on her phone with somewhat reserved body language. It looked like she was waiting for someone. I pretended to "notice" her as I walked by, then complimented her style. She reacted cautiously and shyly, but appreciated the compliment. However she didn't seem to engage much with me or give me much to work with. She also looked young and might have been underage, so I ejected shortly after.Expectation: Neutral
Reality: Neutral
Takeaways: Her body language beforehand was a little bit closed and not looking around, which might have been a hint that I would get a cautiously neutral response.
Approach 12
While walking down the street, I noticed a girl on the opposite side in a pretty dress. I decide to try to cross the street to intercept her, however she crosses at the same time I do. So I decide to spontaneously open her and compliment her from the front. I used bigger body language and energy. However it's a bit awkward because we're in the middle of the street and there are cars waiting, so I turn around and cross back to join her on the side I was originally on.I chat with her a bit but she is very shy and keeps her distance, and it turns out she doesn't speak very good English. It turns out she speaks Chinese, so I switch and chat a bit, but she's still reserved and doesn't give me much. She also mentions having a partner here, which I interpreted as a boyfriend or husband, so I ejected soon after.
Expectation: Warm
Reality: Cold
Takeaways: The louder body language and energy worked again, although the angle was a bit odd. I could have waited to see if she would cross the street before I crossed, then I could approach more normally from the side. The frontal energy might have been too confident for her, although I didn't see any indications she was reserved from her body langauge.
Approach 13
While walking down the street, I see a cute girl walking by, so I followed her for a bit. She didn't notice me, and seemed to be walking at a normal pace, and I didn't see any obvious approach invitations, but I had a good feeling about her. When she reached a good spot, I jogged up approached her from the side.She reacted somewhat neutrally, and we chatted a couple lines, before she asked, "Do you want to go get juice with me?" I was a bit taken aback, but decided to roll with it and went with her for the experience. She led the way to the place and I chatted with her about what she was up to (apparently she was third-wheeling with her friend and her friend's boyfriend, and was just visiting in town for a couple days). However she was not very expressive and I didn't really get clear signs of interest from her. For that reason I had some doubts, but since she did invite me to an instadate, I decided to stick around.
When we went to the juice place, I went quiet for a bit to check out the menu, and see if she would engage me. She didn't, so after a little while I re-engaged her and continued some casual conversation and a little teasing. After getting the juice, we went out, and I suggested we sit down. She said she wanted to go shopping, but I insisted, saying we'd just sit down for a minute until she had to go meet her friend and chat. She reluctantly agreed.
When we sat down, things got a bit weird. She asked, "What do you need from me?" I was a bit confused, and she said, "I kind of wanted to enjoy this on my own...do you need my number?" She said it in a non-flirty, kind of neutral way, so I wasn't sure if she was trying to get me to go away or interested. So I tested her a bit and acted a little coy, leaning back and saying, "Depends...do you want to give me your number?"
She gave a curt "Yeah", so we exchanged contact details, then she stood up and walked away. I was left feeling confused and distrustful, because she acted one way that implied disinterest, asked me for compliance in a way to implied interest, but also seemed to not want to spend time with me in a way that implied disinterest.
Expectation: Neutral
Reality: Warm
Takeaways: This one was pretty confusing. However, this may be exactly how I could come across if my vibe did not match my actions or behavior. Do girls feel distrustful of me after I approach them? An interesting thought. I'm still pretty confused what this girl wanted.
Approach 14
While walking, I noticed a cute girl walk towards and pass me. She seemed to look at me for a second and a half and continued walking. I thought it might be an AI, so I turned around and approached her from the side. She gave a positive response and played with her hair a bit, but also kept some distance from me. While chatting with her, she said she was a schoolteacher, and I qualified her, saying that I liked nurturing girls. She seemed to understand that I was hitting on her from that. After a couple minutes I asked her out, but she said she had a husband who wouldn't like that. I didn't react much, just sort of shrugging and saying, "Guess you guys aren't swingers then? No worries."Expectation: Cold
Reality: Warm
Takeaways: This might have been a light approach invitation. The qualification was effective here at conveying my interest. I probably could have asked for more compliance and teased a little more.
Approach 15
While leaving, I noticed a girl with pretty wavy hair, so I quickly followed and caught up to her side. I complimented her hair, and she responded positively, but continued moving on.Expectation: Neutral
Reality: Neutral
Takeaways: I didn't see any signs of interest or get the feeling that she was looking for a man, so this is probably a normal polite but uninterested response.
Outcome
By approaching 15 girls, I beat my volume high score of 13 approaches in one outing!As this was a long field report, I ended up cutting out transcribing some of the conversations since this was already written a bit late. Maybe I can go back and try using an AI transcriber for this.
I should test for girls interest more aggressively with compliance asks and asking them out. I should take more risks in this way to get clearer answers. Need to remember to always go for the close.
Not using enough cold reads early, need to incorporate more of them earlier.
I seem to need to keep working on my predictions, since I am usually not accurate..
