FR She basically approaches me and partly leads. On text she says she wants to meet in the same place "in a few weeks" 🤨

[Ronnie]

I am in a night lounge.

I stand in the corner of the dance floor and I notice that that spot it's particularly hot (there's probably a strong heater right there).
A girl notices my surprise and tells me "it's very hot here right?"

She's late 30s but very cute and fit. I start gaming her. We speak for 20-25 minutes. She almost forgets her friend to talk to me.
After a while she says: "I am going to the smoking room to have a cigarette". I assumed she was going with he friend but she goes alone. It looks like she is trying to isolate me.

So I go to the smoking room too. We sit close and talk a bit. I keep my hand lightly on her shoulder from time to time. After 10 minutes talking in the smoking room, I go for the kiss. She pulls back but in an entertained playful way. We keep talking. She doesn't get cold after the kiss attempt, she keeps talking to me quite enthusiatically. At this point I am talking 25% of the time and she is talking 75% of the time.

We go for a drink at the bar. We return to the dance floor as she wants to check on her friend. After dancing a bit I tell her if she wants to go to this other place nearby. She says her friend is leaving tomorrow and she can't leave her alone. Then we exchange numbers. Then she says: "let's have another cigarette and then I have to go". We go to the smoking room. At this point she is talking 90% of the time. I am just pulling back with my hand gently touching her back while she talks about various topics.

Then the friend arrives, and tells her she wants to leave. I tell her I'll text you tomorrow and we ca go for a drink. She says "yes sure" and goes away.

EDITED: Initially I thought she was gave me the wrong number as she wasn't on Whatsapp and didn't reply in one day on the regular text app. Turns out she just replied and she says "It was fun meeting you etc. etc. maybe we can meet in a few weeks at the same bar".

I am gonna take my time to reply as she took a day so I have time to think of the answer.
First of all I don't get why she said "in a few weeks". Second, that bar is quite far from my home, do you think I should propose a closer bar?

 

[KJ Francis]

Not sure how night game usually goes, but I'm surprised to hear that taking numbers and meeting up another time would be very high odds at all.

Especially with a girl whose temp was hot... I'd think trying to get her on a date might be different than what she was hoping (behind a dumpster out back or something?). I'm just imagining how I would like it to play out though...not necessarily what real life is like.

Rejecting a kiss, saying to wait for weeks... Playing hard to get, wishes you were more aggressive?

 

[KJ Francis]

There's a recent thread about a guy getting approaches by an aggressive girl. I think his name starts with anon. Sounds like being extra dominant and leading with this type is helpful. She may be grabbing the reigns but could ultimately want you to take them from her and tie her to the bed with them.

 

[KJ Francis]

Wait she said "we" though and is still suggesting moving forward...

I am curious what others will say for dealing with this...

Like I'm not sure, do you just cut the shit and put some pressure on her, change logistics to signal you're trying to pull her asap... Or do you mirror her interest level or even less and just play it really cool

 

[Ronnie]

Wait she said "we" though and is still suggesting moving forward...

I am curious what others will say for dealing with this...

Like I'm not sure, do you just cut the shit and put some pressure on her, change logistics to signal you're trying to pull her asap... Or do you mirror her interest level or even less and just play it really cool

UPDATE: I told her we could meet for drinks this week as I will be travelling in the final weeks of December and she suggested to meet after my trips (basically end December / early January). I am getting mixed signals: very cheerful proposing behavior but also delaying the date. We'll see.

 

[KJ Francis]

Yeah I once planned a date like over a month out with a girl who was going to be moving away. Pulled her fast and couldn't get it up.

She's probably fucking at least one other person. Rail her hard.

 

[Will_V]

UPDATE: I told her we could meet for drinks this week as I will be travelling in the final weeks of December and she suggested to meet after my trips (basically end December / early January). I am getting mixed signals: very cheerful proposing behavior but also delaying the date. We'll see.

Can you post the text exchange?

Sounds like there wasn't a solid enough frame built up for her to think it was anything more than a fun conversation at the bar. Did you build up some sexual tension after the failed kiss attempt? Did you qualify her so she feels like she's not just someone you felt like hooking up with that night? Did you find out things about her and build commonality and connection? When she just talks and talks and you hang back that's allright if you are going to escalate and pull, but it doesn't necessarily build any lasting feeling or connection or impulse in her to see you again.

Sounds like you suggested the date at the point where the friend came and took her away, when she was already disengaging. That's not great, ideally you do it when you're alone together and the bubble is strong. Otherwise it puts you in the chase frame - 'oh you're going away. Wait! I want to see you again ..." and makes it look like you aren't leading things. Her strongest impression of an interaction is often the last few moments.

Overall sounds like she ended up with a stronger frame than you and it leaves her just a bit unexcited about everything.