Calls & Texts She gets emotional during calls and texts.. Any advice?

[Sam Dray]

Greetings Everyone..

Over the past few months..my text and phone call game has improved..but I've run into a problem recently.

With this particular girl, calls always start smoothly..but she tends to get emotional when we talk about certain subjects (like boyfriends, she was in nasty relationship). It goes something like...

Me: So, you enjoyed your day..that's awesome.. Mine was boring as hell. Hey..listen.. About yesterday sorry I missed your call, I was a bit busy..

Her: It's cool. Dont bother explaining yourself..and pretending like you care. I know I dont matter to you..so why do you feel the need to even apologise. Actually why are we even talking.. I bet you sick and tired of hearing my voice. You know what.. Im just gonna hang up.

And thats just the beginning.. She also gets pissed when I try to keep the calls and text conversations short.. Then acts aloof when we meet.

Any advice? Should I assume she just wants to be approached..and escalate things with her or what? ...I cant cut ties with her..we're classmates..

 

[Thedoctor]

Slick,

Based on what you wrote, I'm assuming the two of you are not dating / haven't slept together? If this is the case, then you should not be spending that much time on the phone (not that I'd really recommend ever spending that much time on the phone). Calls and texting are there to set up the next meet, that's it. You can ask about her day when you hang out next. When you spend that much time on the phone you're telling her two things:

1) you have a lot of free time on your hands (which kills a lot of attraction)
2) you will continue to always spend this much time on the phone with her (setting an unrealistic and unwanted precedent).

I'd suggest brushing up on the texting articles on the main site.

Me: So, you enjoyed your day..that's awesome.. Mine was boring as hell. Hey..listen.. About yesterday sorry I missed your call, I was a bit busy..

Her: It's cool. Dont bother explaining yourself..and pretending like you care. I know I dont matter to you..so why do you feel the need to even apologise. Actually why are we even talking.. I bet you sick and tired of hearing my voice. You know what.. Im just gonna hang up.

This is the only other part I want to comment on. Don't bring something up like this unless she does. And, even if she does, do not apologize because you did not do anything wrong. If she doesn't ask, don't volunteer pointless information that will only make her upset.

My advice is to learn from your mistakes here and move onto the next girl...

-John

 

[Sam Dray]

Thanks John...

That's an eye opening reply.. which has given me plenty to think about..

-Sam

 

[Skid]

This girl is treating you like a plaything and she is emotionally insecure. You really need to start to set up standards for what sort of girls (maybe people in general) you want you in your life. Like if she if going to freak out on you every time you APOLOGISE , because you missed her call or text holy shit you may be able to put up with it now because you are still learning but when girls start showing interest on a semi regular basis you won't want to put up with this shit at all. And let's say god forbid you get into a relationship with this girl whether its fwb or traditional gf ,she is in the seat of power and you're just putting up with all her shit and your life will be fucking miserable. Set boundaries and don't let girls cross them if they do - cut contact. This girl is only going to be a negative influence on your life - look for girls that will have a positive one. NEXT this girl ASAP. You are falling into a white knight trap - it is not your job to solve this girls life problems she is an adult and she must do so herself - you're saying that the phone call goes smoothly and then she freaks out because you missed her call - I'm telling you that this isn't your issue its the girl. Looking at this from the girls perspective your attainability is way too low , but her reaction trying to suck attention and validation from you is not acceptable. This would be entirely different if you were in a relationship for a couple months or something or more. You say you can't cut ties with her because she's a class mate : bullshit. Just don't talk to her and ignore her; you're letting her set all the terms of your "relationship" : don't text her any more and don't talk to her in class unless she talks to you and if she does keep it short and polite. If she continues the behaviour and harasses you with text block her number fb whatever and ask to move classes. But ,BEFORE you do this I'd just sit down and talk to her explain that you don't find it fair that she wants that much attention from you when you aren't even in a relationship. Then hard next her : like I said before you should bring people into your life that bring positiveness not bringing you down.

Also a like the doctor said its generally a good rule not to bring up things that a negative unless she does. So if you call or text a girl just don't bring up that you missed her call or she didn't text you back etc.

Skid


https://www.girlschase.com/content/how-next-girl - nexting girls


Skid