What's new

Calls & Texts  She texted first and asked ME out

x2shotty

Rookie
Rookie
Joined
Jan 8, 2014
Messages
3
I have run into an awkward situation a few times. I get a girl to basically start talking to me, whether it's via text or facebook chat or whatever. From there, she ends up asking me out. "Hey, we should get together and grab a drink and go dancing sometime". I keep the conversation going a bit and then try to set up logistics and then the girl goes cold. I am confused because she asked me out...

For instance, one girl hit me up out of the blue. I had gotten her number months before after a yoga class and we had issues setting up plans. This time around, she hit me up out of nowhere. "Hey. Hope you have been well. Sorry I have been MIA. We should grab a coffee or a drink sometime. Besos!".. So, I responded with something warm "Afrah, hey :0)... nice to hear from you. Yes, all is well with me. Have been really busy, though. How were your holidays?". She didn't respond for a couple of days. So, I re-engaged her, and she seems to be chatting but it's just bizarre. Not sure if it will lead to anything. Meanwhile, I feel like it should be a guarantee, because she reached out first to ask me out. What am I doing wrong?

Another time not too long ago, this girl who was in my salsa classes stopped taking class. She then friended me on facebook. So, I sent her something neutral. Like- "hey, thanks for friending me, hope you've been well". Same thing! She ends talking to me and then saying "we should go dancing or grab a drink sometime". But when I try to set up logistics, she flakes!. I had tried to reach out to her one or two more times, and she'd always respond with something warm. But, when we got to making plans, she'd ignore me. What the hell?! HELP!
 
a good date brings a smile to your lips... and hers

Franco

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Nov 14, 2012
Messages
3,637
x2shotty,

"Hey. Hope you have been well. Sorry I have been MIA. We should grab a coffee or a drink sometime. Besos!"..

"Afrah, hey :0)... nice to hear from you. Yes, all is well with me. Have been really busy, though. How were your holidays?"

I'm not sure what happened with your first conversation, but I can spot the error right away here. She basically put herself out there by asking you to get together, and your first response completely ignored it. This is often going fling a girl directly into auto-rejection, even if it wasn't your intention.

When a girl is giving you major investment like this, you need to make sure you reward it immediately. Your first response to her should have acknowledged her offer for a date and immediately moved toward setting up logistics. Although it seems like it would be a bit rash for her to take it personally, completely ignoring her offer is probably what made her go cold.

Next time, you'll know what to do!

- Franco
 

x2shotty

Rookie
Rookie
Joined
Jan 8, 2014
Messages
3
It's weird... it seems like the girl who I ignored off the bat and asked about her holidays ended up getting back to me.

The one that I tried to set up logistics with right away is the one that shyed away. Maybe I seemed to thirsty in my response?

Here is the tail end of the first correspondence after some flirting:

Her:
Hahaha
Your a great dancer, the important thing is just to have fun! and u always do
We have to grab a drink one day and go out dancing
I need to catch up

Me:
that works ... when are you available?

Her:
Im available in the evenings or weekends
Where do u go out dancing?

Me:
I go out to different places... Taj, LQ, socials, Copa, G&G... all over the place lol. I am free evenings/weekends, too... what's your schedule like this weekend/this week coming up?

Then she goes cold! So, I ping her twice more with a few days in between and I get a response here:

Me:
Hope you had a good week ... just want to touch base. I hope your drink invite still stands ... you invited me out and then disappeared... indian giver! .... I am a bit busy this week, but if you let me know your schedule, we can probably find time... Talk to you soon, salsera...
Scott

Her:
Hey, sorry I've been a little busy. Yes my invite for drinks and dances still stand. Im free next week except for sat.
Hope everything has been good with u!

Me:
All is gravy on my end. Been really busy though... I'm free Wednesday after 8pm and Friday after like 930 pm.... Also, here is my number... 631-704-1794


No Response! Any advice?!
 
Top