FR She's not coming is she?

[Beam]

Bruh...

Let me share my experience with girlschase and the forum. In mid 2018 when I first discovered the site at the ripe old age of 25 I had slept with one girl, and made out with three. Since then thanks to the articles and advice from others here I have slept with 11, lost count of how many I've made out with (well over 50) and that's not counting the one's I've had in my bed/couch or overseas who I wasn't able to seal the deal with. Those numbers might not be impressive to you, but when you look at where I started it's a taste of how much your life can change if you apply the advice from this site. I've had friends who I used to get envious of looking at me gobsmacked and asking me how the hell I pulled that off when finding out about some of the stuff I've done. That's not even counting the long multi month stretches of inactivity due to COVID or due to battling the demons in my mind which have been holding me back (which I am still working on).

It's possible to get results much sooner than I have. One of our members @Phoenix has slept with something like 13 girls in the last year alone from dg/ng. @Lofty when from none last year to where he is now (check out his journal). @PalmaSailor is in his 50s and one of the girls he's sleeping with is in her 20s .

This forum is legit. And it's one of the few places where if someone does give useless advice, other guys will come and call him out on it.

I don't know any one elses motivations for writing out advice here but me personally, I generally don't give any advice unless I have gone through it myself and I'm sure others are the same. What do you get out of it? I don't know, some guys give advice because teaching helps cement the understanding in their minds. Others might want to mould more attractive men to slow/reverse the pussification of society we're currently seeing. Who knows, everyone has different motivations.

And don't take the advice literally. When Will V said to imagine a guy invited you to a party, he was using an analogy to a guy asking a girl on a date, not a party. He couldn't literally use a date example (imagine a guy came up to you and asked you on a date) because you would obviously say no. On Mystery again, the hat is just one part of it. May look stupid but read between the lines to see what it is actually accomplishing. No one is telling you to go buy a tophat.

On some of your other points:

There's lot of rules aren't there. It's all very technical.

It's technical when you're learning. The point isn't to become a robot, the point is to learn and internalize the techniques so they become second nature. Like learning how play the guitar. It's easy to strum a few chords to make something sound good. But if you want to get really good, you have to spend hours on boring technical shit like learning scales and so on. The end result is you become amazing at it and it's easy. Same with seduction. Keep things basic and you'll get results here and there, but if you want consistency and you want to get really good, you have to understand the techniques. I still have a long way to go with this myself.

I disagree with this whole 'only one compliment thing'. I don't think that's how conversations work with people. You look nice, that's a nice dress, your hair looks good. What's wrong with that?

Oh, he's given me 3 compliments, he must like me, well that's it I'm off, I'm not going to sleep with some guy that likes me.

Funny enough I actually independently came to the conclusion that I would only complement a girl once a few weeks ago, after noticing multiple times that while the initial complement was well received, almost every time I gave her another one in the interaction she would get a bit uncomfortable. So seeing others saying the same thing here is very interesting. You might have a different experience sure, and sure you might find girls who like you enough that they won't care. But you could save yourself a lot of time. I independently came to this conclusion after hundreds of approaches.

I thought it was just going up and talking to girls, say hello. get to know them a bit, make em laugh, give em a smile, give em a cheeky grin. Bit of eye contact, suggestive flirting. Then back to mine so they can be mildly disappointed. Just talking to people isn't it?

Sure, sometimes it'll be that easy. Most of the time it won't.

I don't have an issue with talking to people and holding a conversation. I'm not some kid in high school who's scared of his own shadow. I was out talking to people last night. I think I was better at it than a lot of of them were. It was fine.

I've easily made friends and have not had many problems talking to people since I was in high school. Didn't translate well to getting laid for me personally. Even now in a lot of my approaches I can easily talk to hot girls, but a lot of the time it doesn't translate to dates or sex because of missing some fundamentals (again, working on it)

Be open to the advice here, try it for yourself first rather that bashing it and if it doesn't work, then come back and say so.

Keep posting, keep asking questions and trust me, you'll be glad you did.

 

[topcat]

let’s stop feeding these trolls.. they’re getting mighty fat on our expense.

 

[Skills]

Good evening gentlemen,

Your thoughts if you will. And please bear in mind I'm very new to this, and I'm very sensitive.

This was in fact my first success of sorts from my new hobby of talking to girls I don't know in public places.

So, I hope you are sitting comfortably, then I will begin.

Last Thursday I was in the park, being a cool dude, and I happened upon a very attractive young lady that I took a liking to. She was sitting on a park bench, smoking a cigarette, listening to her earphones, wearing an ensemble of black leather jacket, black jeans, red sneakers. "ohhh" I though "you look very cool".

So I sat on bench beside hers, lit up a cigarette of my own. "See young lady, I'm cool too". I checked her out a few times, y'know to make sure she wasn't a dude or anything. So, she seemed to have all the right bits in the right places.

So (still smoking) I went over, gestured for her to take out her earphones. She obliged. I said "hi..." (it's my go-to opener) "you look very cool". She smiled and said "thank you". I introduced myself and asked her name. That went as expected. "I really like the all black outfit" I said. Again,"thank you", more smiles. "so, are you a rock chick?" I asked. "I like rock music". I thought "well then... this is the girl for me" so I sat down and proceeded to chat her up.


So, anyway, we had a very nice converstaion, 10 minutes, maybe more, she sparked up another cigarette early on, because she is cool, which I took as an indication that she was happy to sit with me for a while. I told her she was very pretty at various stages, more of the aforementioned smiles ensued. I was obviously into her, she was obviously into me - I know, I know, but you can tell by the way someone looks at you if they have 'that look' in their eyes.

Anyway, the close...

After a while, she hinted that she needed to go somewhere, so I said "well, I need to go now too, but I think you are really nice. Would you like to out for a drink sometime?" She said she would, more smiles, and we exchange numbers. So I get her number, I actually get one of the digits wrong, she corrects my mistake (important? maybe? maybe not? maybe I just read too much into things when I want something to go my way, I could go on). I text her, a hi it's me message with my name, she gets it, I see this, she saves my number on her phone under my name.

Then I ask when she is free, she's working the next few days but is free next Tuesday to Friday. I'm off work next Thursday and Friday so I suggest Wednesday night, she agrees, and I say I'll text her on Wednesday about where to meet.


So far so, so good.

So, the halfway point between when we meet and when I plan on presenting her with my meat is Sunday. So I'd better text her, let her know I've not forgotten about her. She'll naturally assume that she is just one of many and I'll have been swimming in poontang all weekend. So I want to reassure her that she is the girl for me,

So Sunday morning, 10:45 am I text her "Hi, I hope you are having a nice morning and you have a good day."

and the reply...


silence

But it's only 10:46am so, she'll probably take a while to respond. She's pretty cool, so she'll be playing it cool.

So, time moves on (you're telling me I can hear you say) and as I'm sure you've guessed there was no reply.

So, when I text her to meet at the park where we met (our special place) at 7pm on Wednesday, I'm just going to be there on my own for half an hour aren't I? I'll have a walk about, see a few other girls... maybe that's her... no... is that her? .... ohh, no that's definitely not her, oooft.
Eventually, after 30, maybe 45 minutes. I'll realize she isn't coming so I'll go home, wank off to some schoolgirl pov, and cry myself to sleep.

That's what's going to happen isn't it? she's not coming is she?

So did I fuck it up or whnat? Just pretty confused about no response. The interaction was all pretty good, she was engaged in the conversation, telling me lots about herself, where she is from, sharing her opinions (I know, women eh?) her hopes and dreams, proper conversation stuff. Asks a bit about me. Enjoying the attention, as girls do. I'm telling her she's really pretty and stuff like that. Seem to go pretty well to me. So as far as interactions with women go, for me, that's the best one yet, and I've been married. (boom boom)

I don't think it could have gone much better but I'm pretty sure no reply to say "thanks, hope you have a nice day too" equals no sex for me on Wednesday.

Thoughts?

The mistake you made was that you left the interaction lose the momentum as time passed it cool off, then she had a state change. I personally either would not have schedule a meet so far in advance and if I did, I would have kept engaging to keep the momentum going....also read this post so you understand women state changes https://www.theskillsmethod.com/women-mood-change-clubs/

 

[mist]

Hey man! You've gotten a lot of cool advice on here that I'll definitely be stealing some, but I'd definitely want to check some of your mindset about asking for help and while progressing if I were you things like

I'm sure he's a great guy.

But have you seen him? He looks like an idiot.

I can't take him seriously. It's probably the hat.

He gets pussy and is a legend due to his credentials regardless of his hat and you being able to take him seriously. You did not get pussy. He has pussy circles around us and when we catch up he could lap us again.

I can't see me going round being a jerk to chicks. negging them, doing magic tricks, and wearing a stupid hat.

Not my style.

While I respect your assertion I think there is value in knowing absolutely everything that works and willingness to experiment with it. Especially at the beginning when your results are small and you have tons of sticking points. Your 'style' isn't working. Try something else maybe even extremely different from your worldview. Of course aim for congruences, but be willing to explore and be an actor.

I'm not going to throw a party. I've not got the room. And there's all the tidying up to do afterwards.

I might be biased towards reading this in a negative tone, but this came off trollish. This was an analogy not advice for you to throw a party. The ending about not wanting to do the tidying up afterwards was a pretty silly addition as well and could easily turn off people more qualified than you from giving you any help or perspective since it may be too much hassle.

as you see with

If you don’t want to take him seriously then don’t.

But when you flunk it time after time because you haven’t done the work and you’re making obvious mistakes that anyone with the slightest knowledge of game wouldn’t make, I’m not going to bother responding.

You came In here with a problem which is you couldn’t get it together with this girl.

People are stepping in to try to help and you’re being facetious.

@Fuck This is trying to help and so was I.

Be open to the advice here, try it for yourself first rather that bashing it and if it doesn't work, then come back and say so.

Keep posting, keep asking questions and trust me, you'll be glad you did.

let’s stop feeding these trolls.. they’re getting mighty fat on our expense.

People are still coming to aid you, but your presentation and communication is frustrating and seems as if you are not open to information and extremely opinionated before you have even done the work to be qualified of a respected opinion.

I notice this because I too suffer from being a difficult person to coach and take heed to others experiences, but I have suffered immensely for it. The moment my eyes opened I was resistant to the idea that I was making my journey harder by not listening to others and believing this or that without experience to back it up. Let's both do better by avoiding pretty much all of this

Well, looks like we are getting it together. Just had to reschedule. And then reschedule again (Busy work schedule, demanding job. I know. I'm a chump. It'll be something else next week)

I know, I'm just bored and very frustrated. I do appreciate people taking the time to answer and help me out.

I just don't know who any of you guys are, and people on the internet generally give useless advice, and have no idea what they are talking about.

I know what the hat's all about.

He does look like an idiot though. You gotta admit that.

There's lot of rules aren't there. It's all very technical.

I disagree with this whole 'only one compliment thing'. I don't think that's how conversations work with people. You look nice, that's a nice dress, your hair looks good. What's wrong with that?

Oh, he's given me 3 compliments, he must like me, well that's it I'm off, I'm not going to sleep with some guy that likes me.

I thought it was just going up and talking to girls, say hello. get to know them a bit, make em laugh, give em a smile, give em a cheeky grin. Bit of eye contact, suggestive flirting. Then back to mine so they can be mildly disappointed. Just talking to people isn't it?

I've got to do a phd in psychology now and have a checklist. (and stupid hat, lol)

I don't have an issue with talking to people and holding a conversation. I'm not some kid in high school who's scared of his own shadow. I was out talking to people last night. I think I was better at it than a lot of of them were. It was fine.

Guys on here. Are they really getting laid as often as they claim?
Most guys just talk a bit game, don't they?

If I was getting any I wouldn't be on here writing doling out advice. I'd be too busy banging broads to bother.

Anyway, good luck to you all

Which comes off as know-it-all, arrogant, lazy, and just frankly a giant red flag for the community of positive empirically minded experimenters.

Do the work if you want the result. If not then that's fine, but stop complaining and stop asking questions you already have the answer to even though your answer isn't getting you the amount or quality of pussy you want.

Let's both be better my friend. For on the other side is a very happy lady (or multiple ladies) to be under our arms and filled with our....passion
- Mist

 

[Regal Tiger]

I've easily made friends and have not had many problems talking to people since I was in high school. Didn't translate well to getting laid for me personally. Even now in a lot of my approaches I can easily talk to hot girls, but a lot of the time it doesn't translate to dates or sex because of missing some fundamentals (again, working on it)

I've never been a shy person or ever had trouble approaching/talking to absolutely random strangers. And this matches my early virgin experiences to a T (so does the peacocking thing about the hat just giving women an excuse to approach you).

Both of those experiences were weeeeeelll before my seduction learning journey, but the hat/peacocking item can also be a way to call out to specific tribes. The hat I used to wear was the same hat Kisuke had in Bleach (I'm a nerd). I didn't wear it for any kind of seduction purposes but I just liked it and I had a lot of people tell me they liked the hat and it got me into some conversations with people when I was still in college.


But, just like Beam has said, it doesn't translate to dates/girlfriends because I was too big of a pansy to actually even try. And when I did girls could tell that I was scared to which probably came off as insanely incongruent because I was always so carefree in starting up conversations with people left and right.

 

[Skills]

I don't know about the Mystery Method man.

I can't see me going round being a jerk to chicks. negging them, doing magic tricks, and wearing a stupid hat.

Not my style.

Even though mystery is a method and has not much to do with what happened in your interaction....... He was never a jerk to women he was lover even call his method "venusian arts" celebrating women.... Negging is like you busting women balls in a flirty way (people take negging out of context)....... And wearing hats is to call attention cause women will try to take your hat is a way to have women come up to you and stand out..... I went to a "hypster/alternative/goth club this weekend in palm beach called respectables and people still dress like mystery, the women were hot and more women than men...

 

[PalmaSailor]

So why am I here?



Well @Beam has been playing attention lol.



I’m in my early 50’s and have been divorced twice but I’ve always been good with women. I have an N of over 200. But, and this is a big BUT this has always been with “age appropriate” women.



It didn’t matter so much in the past when I was younger but I’ve been facing a situation where my societally approved target women are getting less and less attractive. Have you looked at most 50+ yo women? Never mind try to talk to them.



I don’t want to get married again, and all women my age - almost without exception are desperate to “lock down” a man. So it either gets more and more difficult or I have to go younger.

Or I have to go secret society and that is bang attractive women that are already provisioned. That is married to other men that generally they’re not sexually attracted to. That is most married women. Most have no sexual interest in their husbands and the bedroom is dead / they’re banging someone else on the quiet.


I first entered the space about a decade ago thinking I was good with women so I didn’t need it but I didn’t want my son to struggle. He was 8 at the time and I thought that was the right age for him to start to interact with women. I didn’t know exactly why I was good and I wanted to understand that so if he struggled I could guide him - but preferably train him so as to leapfrog any problems he may have.



Before I entered this space (I was reading Black Dragon) I didn’t realise it was realistic for older men to get with younger women outside of celebrity circles, and I didn’t know how to do it.



I don’t personally know any men who manage to get with and maintain women who are substantially younger.



From late 2017 I had to change direction with work and I moved to a party town. For 3 years I refused age appropriate (which I could have banged most nights) and I went out most nights and talked to / hit on younger and I flunked it most nights. It began to gradually click and I got a few in their mid 20’s and one in her early 30’s.



That 3 years led to me gaining enough of an insight to get (and keep) with my current one who is 26, very hot and a medical Dr.



I hang out mainly at the rational male where the posters are older and more experienced, and I hang out in here because I don’t like to see young men struggle with women.



Lastly, from a personal perspective, it’s a fairly well established concept that the bigger the age difference, the tighter game you need to maintain the attraction. I can’t afford to slip into bad habits which create a situation where any woman I’m with loses attraction to me and I think that hanging around in here talking to others keeps my mind focused on the game in hand.



As far as this is concerned:



[thought it was just going up and talking to girls, say hello. get to know them a bit, make em laugh, give em a smile, give em a cheeky grin. Bit of eye contact, suggestive flirting. Then back to mine]



Yeah you will get some - but not much success like this if you put in massive numbers.



[so they can be mildly disappointed.]



You really think that? And you think if they are disappointed you’ll be able to keep them around? How would you avoid them being disappointed so they want to stay? Serious question.



[Just talking to people isn't it?]



No it isn’t. There’s a lot more to it than that.



[I've got to do a phd in psychology now and have a checklist. (and stupid hat, lol)]



You’re going to have to do the work if you want the success with women.



Good luck!

 

[PalmaSailor]

Something I've found very useful to understand game and how it works from a woman's perspective is to put it in the context of a guy who comes up to invite me to a party.

For the sake of the argument, let's say I was quite suggestible (as most women are).
..

No qualification

Let's say a dude walks up, gives some kind of compliment about my walk/style/whatever, asks me how my day's going, what I'm doing, so on.

At this point, he's a complete stranger, and I don't really know what he wants, who he is, etc. But he's kind of cool, easygoing, and enthusiastic, so we have some kind of conversation. He keeps complimenting me on various things, and while it feels good to get compliments, I start to wonder why I'm getting them.

Then he says "hey man I love talking to you, and you have such a cool style! How about you come to a party I'm having?"

At this point, my first thought is "jeez this guy is really keen on me, really wants to have me around. Does he always go up to random people and ask them to join his party? Doesn't he know people already if he's cool? If he's so keen on me, some random stranger, is this some kind of bum party where I'm going to be the only cool person there?"

But he's friendly and seems like a nice guy, so I say "could be!". We exchange contact details and he walks off.

Two hours later, I've forgotten about it. I'm not sold whatsoever, and I have a lingering feeling that the party might be disappointing.

Qualification

The dude walks up, gives some kind of compliment about my walk/style/whatever, asks me how my day's going, what I'm doing, so on.

At this point, he's a complete stranger, and I don't really know what he wants, who he is, etc. But he's kind of cool, easygoing, so we have some kind of conversation.

Besides the first compliment, he doesn't compliment me at all, but seems to be curious about me in some way, asking me questions about myself that really make me think about the answers. I realize most people don't ask these kind of questions, they are not superficial ones but dig down into what kind of person I really am. I sense that he is some kind of social authority, that I am being evaluated in some way, and feel a bit of pressure to give good answers. I'm suddenly interested to know who he is.

Then he says "hey man it's been great talking, I gotta run. You know, I'm having a party this weekend, and I'd like to invite you, but I've got a question."

At this point I think "what kind of question will this be? Is this some kind of exclusive party with a specific set of requirements for attendees?"

He says "You have a great style, but I'd like to know, are you a cool guy?"

Maybe that's a bit of an awkward question, but if he's generally smooth, it's a question you'd take somewhat seriously. And after all, he seems like some kind of authority on it, having these parties where you have to be cool to get in!

Immediately I'm thinking: am I cool? What kind of 'cool' does he mean? I start trying to think of ways to prove that I'm cool, and I feel the pressure to qualify myself (regardless of whether I plan to go to the party or not).

Suddenly, he's a social authority of 'cool', I'm trying to prove that I'm cool too, and, subtly, the party becomes a symbol of the test of whether I'm really cool or not - making it far less likely I'm not going to go.

After I say whatever I say, he qualifies me by saying "yeah you know, I think you are cool, you've got some real style and an impressive walk, and I've enjoyed our conversation. I think you'd really fit in at my party. Want to come?"

Hell yeah!

...

<A few days later>

No qualification

So I wasn't sold on the party idea, the guy seemed desperate, but he was an ok guy. If it happened once though, it'll probably happen again with someone I'm more interested in hanging with. After all, I'm cool AF! I've already been told a million times.

If he texts me something with a whiff of neediness though, I'm not even going to bother to answer. You're not really cool until you start ignoring people, right?

And if I go, it's just going to be if I have nothing else to do, I'm not going to put much effort into my style, and if it's the slightest bit boring, I'm going to bounce.

If I go, I'm not really invested, after all I'm the one this guy really was desperate to get to the party. He has to prove why I should go or stay there for more than five minutes.

Qualification

I always wondered if I was cool, now is my chance to prove it! Someone gave me an opportunity given to but few, I had to prove that I was even worth inviting, and now I have to make it count.

I get my style on like never before. If the guy texts me anything, I think carefully before responding so I don't burst the bubble and say something a cool guy would never say.

When I go, I'm ready to prove that I'm cool, that I can kick it around with the coolest of the cool. And when I'm there, this social authority figure has merely to hint at what is the cool thing to do, and I'm on it. He has the frame, and I am always proving myself.
...

The question is, out of these two scenarios, which one is the one where I'm more likely to do something the guy wants, something that requires a lot of investment?

And you better believe that a woman giving her pussy requires a lot of investment.

That's not to say no qualification would never work, if you somehow happened to vibe really well. But for every time no qualification worked, qualification would work ten times.

That's the way I see things.

@will

[And you better believe that a woman giving her pussy requires a lot of investment]

women will bang men within a minute of meeting them. What they need is a LOAD of attraction which comes from confidence and dominance cues and enough comfort to know they won’t get killed.

a decade ago when I moved out of my marital home I got a new place. I walked by the neighbour once or twice and smiled at her through the window.

one night I was walking home from a few beers and I saw her through the window so o knocked on the door. She opened it and I said “Hi” and moved in to kiss her. We made out, I took her hand and led her upstairs and just asked “which bedroom is it”

that was it.

 

[Will_V]

@will

[And you better believe that a woman giving her pussy requires a lot of investment]

women will bang men within a minute of meeting them. What they need is a LOAD of attraction which comes from confidence and dominance cues and enough comfort to know they won’t get killed.

a decade ago when I moved out of my marital home I got a new place. I walked by the neighbour once or twice and smiled at her through the window.

one night I was walking home from a few beers and I saw her through the window so o knocked on the door. She opened it and I said “Hi” and moved in to kiss her. We made out, I took her hand and led her upstairs and just asked “which bedroom is it”

that was it.

Yeah, for sure. I had a SNL a few months ago that happened within 2 hours. It's more the principle of qualifying in terms of where her head is going to be at on a date, after the 'idea of you' has been brewing for good or for worse in her head for the days prior. Whether she's going to be mentally ready to comply with things.

Emotion does trump everything, absolutely. Which is why as we all know often fast sex is easier than slow.

Maybe it's not right to exactly say that a woman giving her pussy requires a lot of investment so much as compliance, which is what qualifying helps generate.

 

[Orgasmatron]

Wow.

Hey guys.

I feel like a total asshole.

First off. I must apologize to all of you guys. You have each taken the time out of your day to provide me with your insight and advice. I'm sure you are all very busy with work and everything else you have going on in your lives, and I've just been a dick.

I've been in a very strange place emotionally over the last few days to be honest. I've been getting some coaching from Hector, which has been amazing, and I've started to look at the world and look at myself in a very different light as a result. I've done things I would never have dreamt of doing before. It's been a bit of a rollercoaster ride.

I think i've gone a bit mental too, with working from home and not having any normal contact with other people fro so long.

So, here's some stuff about me.

I left an 8 year relationship/marriage to a Cluster B psycho whom I am convinced has borderline personality disorder just under 12 months ago, so that fucked me up big time. She was violent and manipulative in ways I'm only now beginning to work out. I got some counselling for that which helped a bit. But, honestly talking to Hector and him setting me straight on a few things has helped me so much more than the nice sympathetic lady who would listen to me as I told her about my problems. The only other person I can actually talk to about things is my Mum, and I can't tell her about half the shit that's going on in my head at the moment. Got to put on a front for her so she doesn't worry.

So, I moved from Glasgow to Edinburgh last year to start a new life for myself, but I don't really know anyone here, and I don't have anyone I can talk to about things. I can't sit in my flat all night, alone. It just drives me insane. I go out and walk about listening to music on my headphones, wandering about the town for hours, just to be around other people.

I've been on Reddit trying to get some answers to things, but as I'm sure you can imagine, the advice is completely terrible. I don't know much, but I can see that pretty much everything on there is garbage.

So, to my discredit, I tarred you guys with the same brush.

I hold my hands up. I was completely wrong, and I came on here with an attitude and took it out on you dudes. Which makes me a total asshole, because you guys were just trying to help me out.

I apologise. I really do.

I'm 42 years old, never had much success with chicks. Was always far too shy and self-conscious to even go talk to girls. Slept with 4, none of whom I really fancied. They were just there and were willing to go along with it. I was that desperate, I gratefully accepted the offer of their attention.

Even my (ex)wife asked me out in the first instance - which she repeatedly berated me for - she's properly mental though, never happy with anything, everything was my fault, no matter what I did.

I spent most of the 8 years we were together hoping I could just get through the day without her having another fucking meltdown and trying to kick my head in. I never hit her back. I wanted to, but I'm at least smart enough to know that I'd be the one who'd be up in court for it, so I just had to take it. Eventually one of the neighbours got sick of all her shouting and called the cops. When they showed up and said we had to spend some time apart and I went off with them in the cop car, I started to realise that this was just completely fucked up and a totally mental way to live. I had to get out. I simply couldn't take it any more and had a bit of a mental breakdown. Fun times!

People ask why women who are getting the shit kicked out of them by their partners don't just leave. I get it. They probably have kids to worry about as well. I couldn't do it for myself until I had the police come to my home. It's totally fucked up.

So, as I say, I'd had some calls with Hector, and I'd finally plucked up the courage to actually go talk to girls for the first time in my life. I chatted up a super hot 41 year old fox, standing outside a bar in Edinburgh a few Saturday nights ago, who was in town for the weekend with her friend - if she's told you she was a 28 year old model, you've said, yeah, seems totally legit. Managed to talk to her and keep her and her friend entertained for 15 minutes as we walked down the street to her hotel. Asked her out, got tuned down. She let me down gently, to her credit. No worries, I'd have never even spoken to her before. So that was a win. And then I met this girl in the park, very cute, eastern European, very exotic, approached her sitting on a park bench, asked her to take off her headphones so I could chat her up. It worked. I asked her out, she said yes.

I've talked to asked out 5 pretty hot/cute girls in the last few weeks (I've talked to others but we never got as far as the date request). Maybe a model said - as friends? (not the best response, but she was very tactful); cute and bubbly 21 yo coffee shop girl was 'very gay' (her words); Britsih Airways cabin crew chick who was just walking down the street and seemed to really enjoy the fact that I'd approached her, told her I thought she was very cute and made her laugh said she'd love to, but had a boyfriend; sexy girl who was late for work, thought about it and decided no; cute girl trying to get people to come to her friend's cabaret show started off well, but ultimately said no, but did add, hey if you don't ask you don't get, and this chick in the park said yes.

This is not how my life was a few weeks ago.

So everything has changed for me. It's a lot to process. I feel like a completely different person. People say that, sure. But I've become this confident guy, who genuinely, and I mean completely genuinely, does not give a fuck what other people think about him anymore.

I used to think I was pretty punk rock. I grew up listening to punk, metal, grunge, fuck you music, and thought I had a fuck you attitude because of it. I didn't. I was terrified of other people. But now, after like 2 calls with Hector, seriously 2 video calls with that dude, and chatting up some girls I actually wanted to fuck, getting a date with one, and my life is completely different. I'm walking around, genuinely not giving a flying fuck. It is amazing. I don't know who I am, but I'm loving it.

I don't know if I've gone completely mental or I've gone completely sane!

I walk around and I look at other guys now, and I just don't think much of them. They look like they are just passing through life and I feel alive.

Edinburgh is great. It's a beautiful city with lots going on, and there are loads of hot chicks just wandering about. But I look at all these guys and they don't even notice the girls are there. I sat in the park recently and watched these 3 gorgeous girls, short skirts, 20's, had it all going on, bouching through the park, having a great time with one another, and they went past these 2 guys, must've been in their early 30's, who didn't even notice them - the guys didn't look gay or anything, they were definitely straight - 2 gay guys would've probably have stopped the girls and asked where the party was - but these two missed all the fun. Their phones must've been very interesting.

So anyway. That's me.

Look, I really appreciate all of you guys taking the time to pass on your knowledge and advice. You've obviously put a lot of thought into your responses and you obviously know a hell of a lot more about things than I do.

I've just been pissing about on the internet tonight, being a wiseass troll on reddit forums because I'm bored and have nothing going on in my life. I opened up my gmail and saw I had an email to say I had a reply to this post and figured someone would just have said I could fuck off. But I looked through the responses and I was pretty amazed. Humbled actually. You guys took the time to lay out a lot of stuff for me.

I haven't had the chance to read it all yet because I felt I had to come on and apologize to you all.

I really am genuinely sorry for being such a fucking asshole.

I've been pretty fucked up in the head for the last while. I feel a lot better today.

But that doesn't excuse me being a dick to you guys who were just trying to help me, a total stranger, out.

So, I appreciate all you guys have done. I will stop being a dick, and start listening to what you dudes, that know a lot more about any of this stuff than I probably ever will, have to say.

I'm going to go drink a beer, smoke a few cigarettes, and get some sleep.

I'm looking forward to learning from you guys. And more importantly, looking forward to all the sex I'm going to have with hot young foxy chicks as a result.

Peace out dudes, and thank you very much!

 

[mist]

Wow.

Hey guys.

I feel like a total asshole.

First off. I must apologize to all of you guys. You have each taken the time out of your day to provide me with your insight and advice. I'm sure you are all very busy with work and everything else you have going on in your lives, and I've just been a dick.

I've been in a very strange place emotionally over the last few days to be honest. I've been getting some coaching from Hector, which has been amazing, and I've started to look at the world and look at myself in a very different light as a result. I've done things I would never have dreamt of doing before. It's been a bit of a rollercoaster ride.

I think i've gone a bit mental too, with working from home and not having any normal contact with other people fro so long.

So, here's some stuff about me.

I left an 8 year relationship/marriage to a Cluster B psycho whom I am convinced has borderline personality disorder just under 12 months ago, so that fucked me up big time. She was violent and manipulative in ways I'm only now beginning to work out. I got some counselling for that which helped a bit. But, honestly talking to Hector and him setting me straight on a few things has helped me so much more than the nice sympathetic lady who would listen to me as I told her about my problems. The only other person I can actually talk to about things is my Mum, and I can't tell her about half the shit that's going on in my head at the moment. Got to put on a front for her so she doesn't worry.

So, I moved from Glasgow to Edinburgh last year to start a new life for myself, but I don't really know anyone here, and I don't have anyone I can talk to about things. I can't sit in my flat all night, alone. It just drives me insane. I go out and walk about listening to music on my headphones, wandering about the town for hours, just to be around other people.

I've been on Reddit trying to get some answers to things, but as I'm sure you can imagine, the advice is completely terrible. I don't know much, but I can see that pretty much everything on there is garbage.

So, to my discredit, I tarred you guys with the same brush.

I hold my hands up. I was completely wrong, and I came on here with an attitude and took it out on you dudes. Which makes me a total asshole, because you guys were just trying to help me out.

I apologise. I really do.

I'm 42 years old, never had much success with chicks. Was always far too shy and self-conscious to even go talk to girls. Slept with 4, none of whom I really fancied. They were just there and were willing to go along with it. I was that desperate, I gratefully accepted the offer of their attention.

Even my (ex)wife asked me out in the first instance - which she repeatedly berated me for - she's properly mental though, never happy with anything, everything was my fault, no matter what I did.

I spent most of the 8 years we were together hoping I could just get through the day without her having another fucking meltdown and trying to kick my head in. I never hit her back. I wanted to, but I'm at least smart enough to know that I'd be the one who'd be up in court for it, so I just had to take it. Eventually one of the neighbours got sick of all her shouting and called the cops. When they showed up and said we had to spend some time apart and I went off with them in the cop car, I started to realise that this was just completely fucked up and a totally mental way to live. I had to get out. I simply couldn't take it any more and had a bit of a mental breakdown. Fun times!

People ask why women who are getting the shit kicked out of them by their partners don't just leave. I get it. They probably have kids to worry about as well. I couldn't do it for myself until I had the police come to my home. It's totally fucked up.

So, as I say, I'd had some calls with Hector, and I'd finally plucked up the courage to actually go talk to girls for the first time in my life. I chatted up a super hot 41 year old fox, standing outside a bar in Edinburgh a few Saturday nights ago, who was in town for the weekend with her friend - if she's told you she was a 28 year old model, you've said, yeah, seems totally legit. Managed to talk to her and keep her and her friend entertained for 15 minutes as we walked down the street to her hotel. Asked her out, got tuned down. She let me down gently, to her credit. No worries, I'd have never even spoken to her before. So that was a win. And then I met this girl in the park, very cute, eastern European, very exotic, approached her sitting on a park bench, asked her to take off her headphones so I could chat her up. It worked. I asked her out, she said yes.

I've talked to asked out 5 pretty hot/cute girls in the last few weeks (I've talked to others but we never got as far as the date request). Maybe a model said - as friends? (not the best response, but she was very tactful); cute and bubbly 21 yo coffee shop girl was 'very gay' (her words); Britsih Airways cabin crew chick who was just walking down the street and seemed to really enjoy the fact that I'd approached her, told her I thought she was very cute and made her laugh said she'd love to, but had a boyfriend; sexy girl who was late for work, thought about it and decided no; cute girl trying to get people to come to her friend's cabaret show started off well, but ultimately said no, but did add, hey if you don't ask you don't get, and this chick in the park said yes.

This is not how my life was a few weeks ago.

So everything has changed for me. It's a lot to process. I feel like a completely different person. People say that, sure. But I've become this confident guy, who genuinely, and I mean completely genuinely, does not give a fuck what other people think about him anymore.

I used to think I was pretty punk rock. I grew up listening to punk, metal, grunge, fuck you music, and thought I had a fuck you attitude because of it. I didn't. I was terrified of other people. But now, after like 2 calls with Hector, seriously 2 video calls with that dude, and chatting up some girls I actually wanted to fuck, getting a date with one, and my life is completely different. I'm walking around, genuinely not giving a flying fuck. It is amazing. I don't know who I am, but I'm loving it.

I don't know if I've gone completely mental or I've gone completely sane!

I walk around and I look at other guys now, and I just don't think much of them. They look like they are just passing through life and I feel alive.

Edinburgh is great. It's a beautiful city with lots going on, and there are loads of hot chicks just wandering about. But I look at all these guys and they don't even notice the girls are there. I sat in the park recently and watched these 3 gorgeous girls, short skirts, 20's, had it all going on, bouching through the park, having a great time with one another, and they went past these 2 guys, must've been in their early 30's, who didn't even notice them - the guys didn't look gay or anything, they were definitely straight - 2 gay guys would've probably have stopped the girls and asked where the party was - but these two missed all the fun. Their phones must've been very interesting.

So anyway. That's me.

Look, I really appreciate all of you guys taking the time to pass on your knowledge and advice. You've obviously put a lot of thought into your responses and you obviously know a hell of a lot more about things than I do.

I've just been pissing about on the internet tonight, being a wiseass troll on reddit forums because I'm bored and have nothing going on in my life. I opened up my gmail and saw I had an email to say I had a reply to this post and figured someone would just have said I could fuck off. But I looked through the responses and I was pretty amazed. Humbled actually. You guys took the time to lay out a lot of stuff for me.

I haven't had the chance to read it all yet because I felt I had to come on and apologize to you all.

I really am genuinely sorry for being such a fucking asshole.

I've been pretty fucked up in the head for the last while. I feel a lot better today.

But that doesn't excuse me being a dick to you guys who were just trying to help me, a total stranger, out.

So, I appreciate all you guys have done. I will stop being a dick, and start listening to what you dudes, that know a lot more about any of this stuff than I probably ever will, have to say.

I'm going to go drink a beer, smoke a few cigarettes, and get some sleep.

I'm looking forward to learning from you guys. And more importantly, looking forward to all the sex I'm going to have with hot young foxy chicks as a result.

Peace out dudes, and thank you very much!

Hell yeah man! Onwards and upwards

 

[Orgasmatron]

Hell yeah man! Onwards and upwards

Thanks dude!

Can't get any worse can it? Lol

 

[Orgasmatron]

Something I've found very useful to understand game and how it works from a woman's perspective is to put it in the context of a guy who comes up to invite me to a party.

For the sake of the argument, let's say I was quite suggestible (as most women are).
..

No qualification

Let's say a dude walks up, gives some kind of compliment about my walk/style/whatever, asks me how my day's going, what I'm doing, so on.

At this point, he's a complete stranger, and I don't really know what he wants, who he is, etc. But he's kind of cool, easygoing, and enthusiastic, so we have some kind of conversation. He keeps complimenting me on various things, and while it feels good to get compliments, I start to wonder why I'm getting them.

Then he says "hey man I love talking to you, and you have such a cool style! How about you come to a party I'm having?"

At this point, my first thought is "jeez this guy is really keen on me, really wants to have me around. Does he always go up to random people and ask them to join his party? Doesn't he know people already if he's cool? If he's so keen on me, some random stranger, is this some kind of bum party where I'm going to be the only cool person there?"

But he's friendly and seems like a nice guy, so I say "could be!". We exchange contact details and he walks off.

Two hours later, I've forgotten about it. I'm not sold whatsoever, and I have a lingering feeling that the party might be disappointing.

Qualification

The dude walks up, gives some kind of compliment about my walk/style/whatever, asks me how my day's going, what I'm doing, so on.

At this point, he's a complete stranger, and I don't really know what he wants, who he is, etc. But he's kind of cool, easygoing, so we have some kind of conversation.

Besides the first compliment, he doesn't compliment me at all, but seems to be curious about me in some way, asking me questions about myself that really make me think about the answers. I realize most people don't ask these kind of questions, they are not superficial ones but dig down into what kind of person I really am. I sense that he is some kind of social authority, that I am being evaluated in some way, and feel a bit of pressure to give good answers. I'm suddenly interested to know who he is.

Then he says "hey man it's been great talking, I gotta run. You know, I'm having a party this weekend, and I'd like to invite you, but I've got a question."

At this point I think "what kind of question will this be? Is this some kind of exclusive party with a specific set of requirements for attendees?"

He says "You have a great style, but I'd like to know, are you a cool guy?"

Maybe that's a bit of an awkward question, but if he's generally smooth, it's a question you'd take somewhat seriously. And after all, he seems like some kind of authority on it, having these parties where you have to be cool to get in!

Immediately I'm thinking: am I cool? What kind of 'cool' does he mean? I start trying to think of ways to prove that I'm cool, and I feel the pressure to qualify myself (regardless of whether I plan to go to the party or not).

Suddenly, he's a social authority of 'cool', I'm trying to prove that I'm cool too, and, subtly, the party becomes a symbol of the test of whether I'm really cool or not - making it far less likely I'm not going to go.

After I say whatever I say, he qualifies me by saying "yeah you know, I think you are cool, you've got some real style and an impressive walk, and I've enjoyed our conversation. I think you'd really fit in at my party. Want to come?"

Hell yeah!

...

<A few days later>

No qualification

So I wasn't sold on the party idea, the guy seemed desperate, but he was an ok guy. If it happened once though, it'll probably happen again with someone I'm more interested in hanging with. After all, I'm cool AF! I've already been told a million times.

If he texts me something with a whiff of neediness though, I'm not even going to bother to answer. You're not really cool until you start ignoring people, right?

And if I go, it's just going to be if I have nothing else to do, I'm not going to put much effort into my style, and if it's the slightest bit boring, I'm going to bounce.

If I go, I'm not really invested, after all I'm the one this guy really was desperate to get to the party. He has to prove why I should go or stay there for more than five minutes.

Qualification

I always wondered if I was cool, now is my chance to prove it! Someone gave me an opportunity given to but few, I had to prove that I was even worth inviting, and now I have to make it count.

I get my style on like never before. If the guy texts me anything, I think carefully before responding so I don't burst the bubble and say something a cool guy would never say.

When I go, I'm ready to prove that I'm cool, that I can kick it around with the coolest of the cool. And when I'm there, this social authority figure has merely to hint at what is the cool thing to do, and I'm on it. He has the frame, and I am always proving myself.
...

The question is, out of these two scenarios, which one is the one where I'm more likely to do something the guy wants, something that requires a lot of investment?

And you better believe that a woman giving her pussy requires a lot of investment.

That's not to say no qualification would never work, if you somehow happened to vibe really well. But for every time no qualification worked, qualification would work ten times.

That's the way I see things.

Just going through some old posts and cringing at my fucking awful attitude

Thanks, I get it now, this makes a lot of sense