Shes too scared

[Korvager]

Hey guys

Hector recently posted something about why your desires should come first in a relationship, and the story he talked about was with the girl that didn't enjoy giving head to her not-so-dominant boyfriend.

My situation with my gf is a bit different. Recently ive casually brought up the topic of wanting a lap dance from her and her reaction is straight up fear. She says that she wants to give me one but shes veeeerrry afraid that ill be disappointed. Any advice on handling this would be appreciated.

-K

 

[Big B]

The words "lap dance" aren't important to you but they are to her. All you're really after is her sexually dancing to arouse you right? Just teach her how to give you a lap dance without telling her that's what you're doing. Actually just stop mentioning the words "lap dance" for a while since this word has a powerfully negative connotation for her already and she will become fearful every time you bring it up again.

As an example of how to teach her: when you're walking by her in the living room you say, "stick that ass out for me" and when she complies you show your satisfaction and then just go about your business to show her it's not a big deal. If she is uncomfortable with even that much you can just say something about liking the shape of her ass and that it looks good when she sticks it out, to keep it light you can joke and be "like this" and stick your own ass out nad make a silly sexy face.

Then gradually based on her comfort with showing off you start adding slightly more to your commands "stick that ass out and shake it up and down." I would say in the beginning to not give criticism at all-- instead focus on praising her compliance and what a good job she is doing turning you on. Wait until she asks questions like, "do you like it like that?" Or "you find it sexy when I do this?" Before giving constructive criticism.

Slowly she will realize what you like and (and don't like) and be confident in herself on how to do it and will be more comfortable taking her own initiative to excite you.