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fsc

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Jul 15, 2014
Messages
244
Share some hilarious/epic fail/awkward/outrageous moments that happened to you during the seduction process.
 

fsc

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Jul 15, 2014
Messages
244
One of my frat bros and I were heading back to the house after getting some frozen yogurt. There were two girls inside the frozen yogurt shop, one of whom checked me out a few times. We left before the two girls did, but they managed to catch up to us and matched our pace when they were at my side.

Me: What did you get?
Her: (Smiling) This and this with that haha. What about you?
Me: This and these and those. How does yours taste?
Her: Pretty good. I like it. Do you like yours?
Me: Coolios. Yeah, it's pretty good. So what are you up to?
Her: Her and I are heading to Target
Me: (Opening my mouth to talk)
Frat bro: Target is that way (pointing in the direction opposite of our course)
Her: Uhm...I know, but we could also get there this way
Me: (Opening my mouth to talk)
Frat bro: But that way is faster
Her: Okay, good to know. Bye

I curled up into a ball and laughed my ass off.
 

Rage

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Oct 23, 2013
Messages
473
I got one for you bro

This was when I was in early second year of high school (a fail); I liked this Asian girl that was a year older than me. She would always call me cutie and lead me on as an orbiter (and I was very AFC and a great orbiter), I would see her time and again and she’d say hey cutie and we’d talk and id be really sprung.

Didn’t have a ton in common with her but at the time thought she was really good looking and into me and I liked when we would hug (god damn now it feels like “man I’ve come so far from that” lol).

There was a day we were in jazz class (in the band room, it’s like all rug so we were lying on the rugs watching a movie) and it was me and like 9 other people watching some romantic comedy movie. I had feelings that man I should ask this girl to be my girlfriend she’s so pretty and she seems really into me, and we always have these nice moments together; I saw in the movie (forget what the title was) that the guy goes to the girl at the end and it was some cheesy romantic comedy bullshit making you feel all kinds of “lovey dovey feels”.

Was watching and was like fuck it I should make my move!

I had an 8x12 index card (yes the kind you use for flash cards) and could only draw stick people because I suck at drawing: I drew stick me and stick her and like a house and a sun and a heart and “will you be mine” (was trying to be play cute, being a cutie like she seemed to like).

LOL

And then I texted her in class to meet her; she was a TA at the library met her in her office and was like you know girl I like you, and we have a good thing going and do you want to be my girlfriend and gave her the stupid index card with stick person me and stick person her.

And she was like “oh that’s so sweet, I’m sorry I have a boyfriend” and I was crushed and really kind of sad after (but it only took an afternoon to get over it, and didn’t talk to her much after that). It was pretty much https://www.girlschase.com/content/sad-tale-shopping-guy and I was shopping guy and there was a good reason that I didn’t know she had a boyfriend.

That’s a fail story of mine (early high school me); not an epic story or funny pickup story … but something memorable and funny thinking about it now
 

Raqimus

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Jun 22, 2014
Messages
460
One time at band camp... Nah but the first time i went like super direct the girl got creeped the fuck out.

I don't remember exactly what I said but it was something like her ass looked great in those jeans... something about her ass. She looked at me with a crazed kind of surprised expression and yelled out I don't feel comfortable and kinda jetted away. I was laughing for atleast 5 minutes on the sidewalk.
 

NarrowJ

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Feb 13, 2013
Messages
1,275
About a month ago I went on a date with this super cute Indian girl, and I took something she said the wrong way, flipped her off and laughed, and she freaked the fuck out and left. So that was awesome... ;)

J.J.
 

BarryS1

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Aug 9, 2013
Messages
441
Story 1:

Almost a year ago I was having dinner at a FWBs apartment cooking filet mignon steak and drinking red wine. During sex, I told her to "squeeze her stomach and push my cock out." She made a smelly, LOUD fart and caused me to go out of the room for a couple minutes. I tried to play it cool afterwards, but couldn't cum that night. When I was leaving, she started hitting me w/ her purse asking if she wasn't sexy enough for me haha!

Story 2:

Same month as the first story. I was pulling out of my self-defense class and some girl stopped me from backing out my car to ask me out. She was barely 80 lbs 5'' tall, but I said yes b/c I wanted the experience. On the date, turns out she was married, but couldn't for the life of me become attracted to a pixie body. It was funny seeing a girl trying to bargain to get me alone somewhere, first offering to come over and pushing it!
 

lingua

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Jan 12, 2014
Messages
61
I was just starting to go out at night "to game", so I found the least socially uncalibrated acquaintances I had at the time and went to a bar that was usually filled with college girls. I gathered up all the courage to approach a group of 3 girls standing around a table, while I instructed my friends to follow me if I wasn't blown out in the first 5 seconds. The opening was clumsy, but the girls were a bit interested in what I had to say, but I think it was my boldness that caught them off guard. As I was looking for a hook point, my 1.95 meter tall friend from Colombia barges in and asks the girls in a serious tone,

So, did you girls come here alone tonight?

I've never seen girls run off so quickly since that event :D
 
the right date makes getting her back home a piece of cake

Raqimus

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Jun 22, 2014
Messages
460
Oh another one that i regret the most. First date with this girl and my first time trying to go back to a girls place on the date. We get back to her place lay in the bed makout and shit. Couldn't escalate to sex because she really liked me. Now he res the kicker. She wanted an open relationship with me at the start... dumbass didnt know the correct meaning and i said i didnt know etc. Ended up goign home after hanging for a bit more. Then next day she hits me up to ask if i want to hook up. i was drunk n didnt know if it was a test or not, and i was talking to my boys girl and she said yea it was a text and wrote her a text.(Never taking advice from a woman again) It was like not now or some shit needless to say next few efforts to get this girl again never worked out.

I find it funny because I never thought that kinda shit would be possible for me also because an open relationship was exactly what I wanted in the first place(fuck buddies) D:
 

fsc

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Jul 15, 2014
Messages
244
My frat bro to a female athlete on crutches and ankle brace:

"I like your swag walk"
 

BarryS1

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Aug 9, 2013
Messages
441
Turns out the Russian MILF I've been banging is another guys mail-order bride. Whoops! She lied previously saying it was a family friend.
 

fsc

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Jul 15, 2014
Messages
244
BarryS1 said:
Turns out the Russian MILF I've been banging is another guys mail-order bride. Whoops! She lied previously saying it was a family friend.
Lols he PAID for her and now she's off banging you and possibly other dudes?

Another sad tale of sad guy I just remembered:

> last year, guy gets drunk on date
> I talk to his date for 20-25 minutes, she also tells me it was a "pity date"
> thanks to GC I slept with her
> I tell guy the next day, turns out he has been pursuing a relationship with her...ouch
> a few months ago, guy gets in a relationship with a different girl who more or less fell into his lap
> a few weeks ago, guy stops me and tries to convince me: "You know, I've tried these pickup and seduction stuff like you, and I realized that they're just a bunch of baloney..." and uses his girlfriend as an example

Lol...k, whatever you say
 

BarryS1

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Aug 9, 2013
Messages
441
fsc said:
BarryS1 said:
Turns out the Russian MILF I've been banging is another guys mail-order bride. Whoops! She lied previously saying it was a family friend.
Lols he PAID for her and now she's off banging you and possibly other dudes?

He paid for her AND the kid to be sent over to America. She kept complaining how unattractive he is and doesn't want to have sex with him. The drama an unsatisfied woman causes ;P
 

Rage

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Oct 23, 2013
Messages
473
BarryS1 said:
fsc said:
BarryS1 said:
Turns out the Russian MILF I've been banging is another guys mail-order bride. Whoops! She lied previously saying it was a family friend.
Lols he PAID for her and now she's off banging you and possibly other dudes?

He paid for her AND the kid to be sent over to America. She kept complaining how unattractive he is and doesn't want to have sex with him. The drama an unsatisfied woman causes ;P

That's crazy dude!!

Saw a funny fail at the gym a couple of days ago (creepy grandpa to young girl squatting)
"What's that work for you?"

"Um legs..."

"Oh ok (she's like super uncomfortable)", and he starts to talk more to her
My friend and I were laughing off to the side and were less than subtle with our laughter (like wtf do you think she's squatting for, for her biceps? Lol)
 

fsc

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Jul 15, 2014
Messages
244
LOOOL you talking about gramps reminded me of this:

I was walking home late one night from the computer labs at school when I saw an old man in his 70s or so standing by himself on the sidewalk with two big luggage bags.

Old man: Hey there young man! Can I bother you for a few minutes?
Me: Uh yeah, sure
Old man: I live right down the street. Can you help me carry these there? I'm not as young as I once used to be and it's hurting my arms
Me: Yeah, sure

So I'm carrying this old dude's fairly-heavy bags in each arm, and we're having a pleasant chat about his younger days and where he's from. His voice is really calm and endearing as he talks about his homeland Russia. Then three super hot girls in tight, mini dresses walk past us.

Old man: Are you gay? (suddenly in a stern tone)
Me: What?
Old man: Are you gay? What is wrong with you?
Me: ...What?
Old man: Those three lovely ladies walked by and you didn't even say anything!
Me: ...
Old man: Pffft! If I was your age, I would invite them up to my apartment for some tea, and we'd chat and see where things went! But you just let them walk by you! Do you like boys?
Me: No...I'm straight
Old man: What is wrong with boys these days?! Everywhere I see are wimps! Wimps everywhere! Too scared of girls!

Another pair of girls walked by us and I didn't say anything to them either. He just silently stared dead into my eyes for a few seconds in some major disappointment. Then he continued boasting about how he used to be such a ladies' man back in Russia back in the day and how so many kids like me nowadays are such wimps, all the freaking way to his apartment. Bruh, I've been coding for the past 5 hours straight, and I'm carrying your stupid bags. At least thank me instead of calling me gay.

==========

My friend's attempt at street pick up:

Him: Hey girl, you got a boyfriend?
Her: Yeah
Him: You single?
Her: ...Umm no

She walks away and my friends crack up and make fun of him about how stupid that was. A few hours later while we're all eating at Denny's, the same girl and her friends walk by our table.

Her: Hey you, you got a girlfriend?
Him: Huh? (Caught off guard)
Her: You single? HAHAHAHA

They walk away laughing and our table bursts in laughter. Lols
 

Thedoctor

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Jun 13, 2013
Messages
512
Gem said:
BarryS1 said:
fsc said:
BarryS1 said:
Turns out the Russian MILF I've been banging is another guys mail-order bride. Whoops! She lied previously saying it was a family friend.
Lols he PAID for her and now she's off banging you and possibly other dudes?

He paid for her AND the kid to be sent over to America. She kept complaining how unattractive he is and doesn't want to have sex with him. The drama an unsatisfied woman causes ;P

That's crazy dude!!

Saw a funny fail at the gym a couple of days ago (creepy grandpa to young girl squatting)
"What's that work for you?"

"Um legs..."

"Oh ok (she's like super uncomfortable)", and he starts to talk more to her
My friend and I were laughing off to the side and were less than subtle with our laughter (like wtf do you think she's squatting for, for her biceps? Lol)

Rookie mistake. This is how you hit on girls at the gym:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TBvHbnhl3M8

You're welcome. ;)
-John
 

Rage

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Oct 23, 2013
Messages
473
Thedoctor said:
Gem said:
BarryS1 said:
fsc said:
BarryS1 said:
Turns out the Russian MILF I've been banging is another guys mail-order bride. Whoops! She lied previously saying it was a family friend.
Lols he PAID for her and now she's off banging you and possibly other dudes?

He paid for her AND the kid to be sent over to America. She kept complaining how unattractive he is and doesn't want to have sex with him. The drama an unsatisfied woman causes ;P

That's crazy dude!!

Saw a funny fail at the gym a couple of days ago (creepy grandpa to young girl squatting)
"What's that work for you?"

"Um legs..."

"Oh ok (she's like super uncomfortable)", and he starts to talk more to her
My friend and I were laughing off to the side and were less than subtle with our laughter (like wtf do you think she's squatting for, for her biceps? Lol)

Rookie mistake. This is how you hit on girls at the gym:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TBvHbnhl3M8

You're welcome. ;)
-John

Hahahaha nice
 

fsc

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Jul 15, 2014
Messages
244
Guess who just bumped into a mannequin and said "excuse me".



Me.
 
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