- Joined
- Dec 16, 2015
- Messages
- 183
So I have this rule, and I'm very vocal about it (in social circles, at parties, when I'm picking up chicks, at school etc.). The rule is that I utterly refuse to be platonic friends with women, I've always been like this though since my freshman year of college (4 years ago). I got burned pretty bad over the course of 6 months by a girl I thought was proceeding to relationship status and she thought was more platonic (I was pretty inexperienced back then, still am but that was far worse).
Anyway this rule has worked in my favor before, I once was at a party a couple years ago and this girl was heavily bitching me out over the rule (I was actually hooking up with her cousin at the time too), anyway I was kind of drunk but somehow we ended up upstairs and were hooking up lol (even though she said she'd NEVER do jack shit with me, w/e). So it can work in my favor maybe?
I think by being so vocal about this though and almost coming off as like... a "pretend player" that talks to lots of girls and does plenty of approaches/gets tons of numbers/goes on a fair amount of dates/gets a decent amount of makeouts/hookups (not much actual sex though and almost zero retention over the past two months that I've been studying game, 4 lays so far). Could I be pretending I'm at a higher level than I actually am? I think I'm seeking validity from not only women but my friends/people I meet in general through my "fake" success with women.
By pretending I'm higher value than I actually am... completely refusing to do the platonic friends thing and basically just saying, "hey if you're not interested, then no worries, dueces" when women flake (more than once), don't respond or say they'd rather be friends or try to do a "I'll let you know" (I usually say I don't do maybes). I'm just wondering if maybe I'm shooting myself in the foot here, I'm clearly NOT at that level, I'm a beginner and really trying to not be outcome dependent; but I'm a pretty emotional guy (depression, extreme social and general anxiety). When I get emotional or have a shitty date it does affect me, it really fucks up my spezznatura/makes me chase. Like for instance I picked up one of the professors at my college (not my teacher and she's only 27, SUPER FUCKING HOT TOO) a couple weeks ago, she flaked once and I just chilled and said no worries and it made her even more interested, then we finally went out yesterday; she'd been sending me winky faces and saying we could go off campus for a bit since I told her I was gonna put the moves on her. However when we were walking to my car and I told her I was actually 22 (she'd just assumed I was older by my confidence level and saying I was a broker, didn't ever lie about my age), she totally flipped out and said she wasn't comfortable and left even after I persisted (felt I was coming off almost pleading and needy). This set off a chain reaction with the other two numbers I'd picked up and I got emotional and one and when another wouldn't setup a date (playing games and trying to make me chase) I was responding waaaay too fast and finally said if she was interested we could go out Sunday but didn't get a response (she actually started flirting with me when I picked up an exam book and she was working the register at school and SHE ASKED ME if I wanted her number after I flirted back).
I dunno guys, I feel I could be good with girls if I change a few things in my process, I just don't know what those things are. I'm not sure where I'm screwing up in my approach/text game/dates/pulling but though I've improved a lot it's just miserable and fucking killing me that I keep losing out. I know I sound like a whiny fucking bitch lol (going to the gym usually clears that up so I'm headed there now), but is it really just running numbers? My ultimate goal is getting an amazing girlfriend (but being a sexy man that she's highly attracted too and feels that she "won" me).
Some advice I need: What's a good mindset to stop from getting emotional and losing spezznatura and starting to chase? How can I get less outcome dependent and scarcity minded (I already meet quite a few women, should I just go meet more?) How can I keep a playful mood instead of settling into the seriousness that is me? I refuse to use antidepressants because of the weight gain/mindfucking/problems in the bedroom they bring.
How long did it take you guys to get to the level you wanted to be with women? I've only been actively trying to improve and studying game for about 2 months now, I'm really trying to build that emotional armor William Gupta talked about it one of his articles but it's REALLY FUCKING DRAINING!
Helps to write it out here on the forums, glad for the community
Anyway this rule has worked in my favor before, I once was at a party a couple years ago and this girl was heavily bitching me out over the rule (I was actually hooking up with her cousin at the time too), anyway I was kind of drunk but somehow we ended up upstairs and were hooking up lol (even though she said she'd NEVER do jack shit with me, w/e). So it can work in my favor maybe?
I think by being so vocal about this though and almost coming off as like... a "pretend player" that talks to lots of girls and does plenty of approaches/gets tons of numbers/goes on a fair amount of dates/gets a decent amount of makeouts/hookups (not much actual sex though and almost zero retention over the past two months that I've been studying game, 4 lays so far). Could I be pretending I'm at a higher level than I actually am? I think I'm seeking validity from not only women but my friends/people I meet in general through my "fake" success with women.
By pretending I'm higher value than I actually am... completely refusing to do the platonic friends thing and basically just saying, "hey if you're not interested, then no worries, dueces" when women flake (more than once), don't respond or say they'd rather be friends or try to do a "I'll let you know" (I usually say I don't do maybes). I'm just wondering if maybe I'm shooting myself in the foot here, I'm clearly NOT at that level, I'm a beginner and really trying to not be outcome dependent; but I'm a pretty emotional guy (depression, extreme social and general anxiety). When I get emotional or have a shitty date it does affect me, it really fucks up my spezznatura/makes me chase. Like for instance I picked up one of the professors at my college (not my teacher and she's only 27, SUPER FUCKING HOT TOO) a couple weeks ago, she flaked once and I just chilled and said no worries and it made her even more interested, then we finally went out yesterday; she'd been sending me winky faces and saying we could go off campus for a bit since I told her I was gonna put the moves on her. However when we were walking to my car and I told her I was actually 22 (she'd just assumed I was older by my confidence level and saying I was a broker, didn't ever lie about my age), she totally flipped out and said she wasn't comfortable and left even after I persisted (felt I was coming off almost pleading and needy). This set off a chain reaction with the other two numbers I'd picked up and I got emotional and one and when another wouldn't setup a date (playing games and trying to make me chase) I was responding waaaay too fast and finally said if she was interested we could go out Sunday but didn't get a response (she actually started flirting with me when I picked up an exam book and she was working the register at school and SHE ASKED ME if I wanted her number after I flirted back).
I dunno guys, I feel I could be good with girls if I change a few things in my process, I just don't know what those things are. I'm not sure where I'm screwing up in my approach/text game/dates/pulling but though I've improved a lot it's just miserable and fucking killing me that I keep losing out. I know I sound like a whiny fucking bitch lol (going to the gym usually clears that up so I'm headed there now), but is it really just running numbers? My ultimate goal is getting an amazing girlfriend (but being a sexy man that she's highly attracted too and feels that she "won" me).
Some advice I need: What's a good mindset to stop from getting emotional and losing spezznatura and starting to chase? How can I get less outcome dependent and scarcity minded (I already meet quite a few women, should I just go meet more?) How can I keep a playful mood instead of settling into the seriousness that is me? I refuse to use antidepressants because of the weight gain/mindfucking/problems in the bedroom they bring.
How long did it take you guys to get to the level you wanted to be with women? I've only been actively trying to improve and studying game for about 2 months now, I'm really trying to build that emotional armor William Gupta talked about it one of his articles but it's REALLY FUCKING DRAINING!
Helps to write it out here on the forums, glad for the community
