Shown too much dependence

[Optymistyk]

----TL;DR---
How do you recover from showing too much interest and dependence to a girl?
------------------------
Few words about me, in a month i will be 22 years old and until 20 was extremely shy and introverted, with very few friends and absolute 0 lovers. But in those 2 years I`ve managed to improve a great deal and made a lot of interesting friends and acquaintances.

Just recently, in fact just over 2 weeks ago, I had sex for the first time in my life with a beautiful 19 year old model. We had a great time together and did it on our first date. I couldn't believe it, she was stunning, smart, and very energetic. She seemed to like me a lot. She wouldn't believe me when i said after the act that she took my virginity. She said Im beautiful and have great personality so girls should be swarming to me. We cuddled a lot and did it again.

We promised to each other that we'll meet again after I come back from my 2 week holiday trip to Norway. But I knew that she lives 200km away from me, and that she's planning on studying abroad in a special college. She asked me not to get too attached, as she wouldn't like to hurt me when she leaves the country in about a year. Not thinking much I agreed. She left the same day.

But the next few days I noticed I'm actualy missing her. I liked her a ton and quite frankly I think it might be extremely hard to find someone as good as her. She seems to have every quality I want from a girl. Granted, we've only seen each other for about 2 days, so there are certainly flaws that I don't know yet, but I think she would be a very strong candidate for a relationship.

First, I called her the next day and we had a nice short talk. The next day she chatted me up on Facebook and I said Im gonna miss her, and she responded in kind. The following day however I've made a mistake. I chatted her up and told her that if we tried we could make this work, I could go with her and find a job abroad, to which she said Im getting too engaged. From that point on it was always me who started a conversation, and while in Norway I got "too engaged" one more time. After some time she started acting a bit aloof. I noticed the mistake I was making and stopped calling her directly altogether. We do keep contact indirectly through a group on FB tho.

Soon I'l be visiting her in her city, what do I do to recover from my mistake?

 

[Marcellus]

Aye man,

I'm not tryna be an asshole when I say this but YOU ARE BEING A LIL BITCH! That's not a joke.

First of all congrats on all the work you've put it and congrats on losing your virginity, It's only the start and you got a great future with many more girls to come.

But you have oneitis, you gotta move on and go talk to other girls.
https://www.girlschase.com/content/cant-stop-thinking-about-her-heres-why-you-need-meet-more-girls

-M

 

[razir110]

Mate your reaction is totally normal. You got an amazing girl and you liked her and there is NOTHING WRONG with you liking her!

There is always the dilemma of letting your feelings taking over or being rational about it. And personally I think that you have to let your feelings take over.. ones you've mastered the seduction game to a good level! You see, if you are inexperienced with girls, your feelings will make you make all sort of stupid mistakes and you will end up in friend zone, rejected, frustrated, etc. This is what this site is for, it shows how to improve your seduction skills to not end up in shitty situations.

Become good with girls in general and then you will note that you can understand the game and how the seduction works and you will be able to blend this "conscious" knowledge with the feelings you get for the girl. So you won't end up losing her, you will be in control and you can even fall in love without becoming her bitch.

So about your situation, yes you were quite eager and what she told you, in my opinion means that you shouldn't have too many hopes of being with her, but if she is meeting you then it's a good sign. It's impossible to change your previous interactions with her, but you can def change you interaction in the future! With her and other girls. So a very good exercise for you would be to read the articles on GC, talk to other girls before you meet her and then, ones you do meet her, she will notice you are different, more in control, less available, more desired by other women. This may spark more interest from her towards you. Women just feel this stuff!

My last advice is to not focus on "that girl" too much. If things aren't moving fast between two of you, then just mind you business and live your life normally, without getting attached. See how it flows, but keep you eyes on the ball with her, and others.

Best!

 

[Optymistyk]

Thanks guys, I know I'm overreacting. See I've always had issues with confidence, thought I'm not very attractive or likeable, and honestly was aiming for someone average at best. But now I feel like a fool, because if someone like her tells me I'm beautiful then it means it's always been in my head and it was just fear keeping me at bay. Anyway I guess I'm off to a good start. I feel a ton better now, too.