Shy, nervous girls and reassurances

[Knight Who Say NI]

Hey there people,

before I begin, let me introduce myself: I'm a reader of this site for quite some time, and I'm amazed by the work of Chase and his general message of being respectful and making this world, in your way, a better place to live. Throughout history there's been so much hatred against women by weak men; anything that teaches someone how to become a strong man must be treasured as something more valuable than gold (there's certainly fewer real men than gold today!). I'm a 30 years old man from Brazil that, for the last couple of years, been avoiding getting a girlfriend, but getting a lot of lays through online means. For the last couple of months I got tired of meeting crazy chicks and having empty "relationships" with them, and decided to put Chase's lessons into practice to make it easier for me to meet quality girls.

Fastforward to today:

Having worked on my fundamentals for some months, I happily can say that they are pretty solid. The amount of attraction I get, now, is just... Crazy. Girls can do some really crazy stuff, lose their minds and be reckless when attracted to a guy on a primal level.

But the side effect of this is that some of them get so nervous around me (particularly the youngest ones) that the interaction gets harder than it needs to be. There's this trend of shy girls that just freezes or panics: they just don't have a clue about what to do with themselves when you're around.

Yeah, it seems like those old attainability problems... But, speaking of shy girls, I think that it is more than that, and it brings me two questions:

1 - Are shy girls trouble in the long run? Will you need to waste your time and energy reassuring them that they're just fine, instead of being supported by them in your mission to conquer the world? In other words: can they be a drag just for being shy, or their shyness doesn't necessarily mean that they are insecure people?

2 - What about "situational shyness"? By that I'm thinking of those girls that seems confident enough - judging by their body language, that is - that turn to jello whenever you're around. Sometimes they'll put themselves in ridiculous situations, such as ignoring you - deliberately or not -, but pining HARD for you in the distance (it's quite obvious when her coworkers/friends immediately look at you when she passes by, to gauge your reaction). Is is best to deal with it by not giving in, increasing tension, as if stating, by my actions, that "I know what you're doing girl, and I find it cute. I still like you and whenever you want just say hi, because I won't make a backflip to get your attention"? It seems like it take girls to the limit of auto-rejection but it makes her think much more about you (like her ignoring, if you like her too, makes YOU think more about her, even if you're conscious of this old trick - damn you, brain!), throwing her thoughts into a loop ("if I think so much about him, it must be because I like him!"). Actually, does this process make things easier or harder? She wants to submit, but came to like you SO MUCH that she is terrified of the possibility of being rejected - is resuming talking, acknowledging that you know that she's nervous around you and that's okay, enough to ease her, or is all that a risky process?

 

[Drck]

My impression is that you are - by being Brazilian - more natural than most of us here. You've been around more girls, you can get laid easily. You have experience. You have fundamentals. You have natural vibes. You are very attractive.

She can read this 'aura' of yours or whatever you want to call it. When she is shy it usually means that she is inexperienced. She is comparing her inexperience to your experience. That makes her nervous, she is having difficulties to match herself with you. She is attracted to you but at the same time she feels that she can't match with you because you have lots of experience, and she doesn't. She thinks she could fail your expectations, and she knows you can easily walk away from her. On one side she likes you a lot, on the other she is facing bad rejection, perhaps humiliation in her mind that she is not good enough for you... She feels that you have all the cards, and she has none.

What choices does she really have? So she ignores you when you are around because she doesn't want to be rejected. And she gets back to you while at distance where she feels more comfortable, to make sure that you know she likes you...

If the scale of attraction can be measured from 0 to 100, in her eyes you might be at 90. But that is too much, in order to feel more comfortable and move forward she needs someone in the range of 40-50. That is a better match. Dude, you are too fucking attractive!

It is the same like with guys. Most of us can't jump from zero to 9/10 girl. We have to go over 4/10, 6/10, several 7/10 and some 8/10 before we can be more "comfortable" around 9/10...

 

[Franco]

KWSNI,

Drck has some good points about attainability and how women might view you. If they feel like you are way out of their league, they just get really nervous around you because they aren't used to dealing with a man of that caliber, and they're trying to shard not to do something "wrong" that they end up doing everything wrong. It's the same with guys who are starting out in seduction. =)

I'll address some of your other points directly:

1 - Are shy girls trouble in the long run? Will you need to waste your time and energy reassuring them that they're just fine, instead of being supported by them in your mission to conquer the world? In other words: can they be a drag just for being shy, or their shyness doesn't necessarily mean that they are insecure people?

Generally, yes. Girls who are shy generally don't have a lot of experience, and if they are with a guy they consider to be extremely good with women and high value, then they are in constant need of reassurance that you actually value them as a partner. So that means lots of shit tests and (usually) lots of drama all the time -- it's their way of trying to be sure that you actually care about them.

Some guys enjoy the constant attention you will get from shy girls because the only way they can really feel "safe" with you is if they are constantly around you, constantly talking to you, and constantly throwing drama and shit tests at you to see how you respond. If you really enjoy attention, then these girls will give it to you.

More experienced women don't really need the validation, so they tend to be more independent and only do the above stuff occasionally (and how often depends on the girl), so you don't have to worry about it as much. At the same time, they have a shorter threshold for weak or inattentive men, so if the she does spend time with you that isn't satisfying, she won't think twice about keeping herself on the market for a possible upgrade in the "man" department. This is why it's important to learn how to maintain a role of her "chasing" you, even while you're in a relationship. And the sex needs to be constantly orgasmic, of course.

What about "situational shyness"?

This is still inexperience, but maybe not quite as inexperienced as the girls I was describing above. They know some techniques and tactics that have worked on guys to make the guys chase (and put the girls themselves in more control), but if it doesn't work on you and they are REALLY into you, then they begin to freak out a bit. They'll swing back and forth between being incredibly flirty and incredibly "distant" to try to maintain some control over you and get reactions out of you. Attainability does play a role here, so you want to make sure your attainability is at levels that make her chase, but also doesn't make her feel like she won't get you, otherwise she'll move into auto-rejection.

She wants to submit, but came to like you SO MUCH that she is terrified of the possibility of being rejected - is resuming talking, acknowledging that you know that she's nervous around you and that's okay, enough to ease her, or is all that a risky process?

Right. In general, it's important just to move fast with women. If she comes to like you SO much that she gets to the point of pushing and pulling, then you're going to have a tough time getting her on a date because she has already started to think of you as "boyfriend" at this point, and it makes things harder to move forward. You want to inject sexuality into your first interaction and come across as a sexy man, but you don't want her to be crazy over you before you two have even gone on a date. She needs to be swept away by your masculinity first and then come to "like" you after she's already been sleeping with you.

This article might be relevant and is worth a read:

• Why It's Bad to Want to Be Liked Too Much

- Franco

 

[Knight Who Say NI]

Thanks for the careful replys, guys.

Drck,

thanks for the compliments, man! Well, about being a natural, just for being brazilian... I guess it doesn't apply for most of the country. Actually, Brazil, being the huge country that it is, is quite diverse (even more than the US, I guess). Most foreigners, when thinking of brasileiras, picture the sexually liberated girls of Rio (and this stereotype is really precise: these girls just live for sex).

But, I live in the coldest of the biggest cities of the country (we even had a tiny bit of snow last year), where girls seems like eastern europeans. Some of them are so beautiful that most men goes into auto-rejection for them right away - writing them off as bitchy, materialistic, egoistical. In fact, they are smeared a lot by wimpy men (which, by the way, are the majority of the male population here).

So, in this scenario, what happens when you transform yourself into a calm, stable, devil may care and non judgemental man? They just go crazy for you, because you are so rare. It kinda have a bittersweet taste: you feel sad for some of them but, at the same time, it's great to have so many great options, all the time.

I'm curious to know that if it is more or less the same in the place you live, Drck!

Franco,

great points! It's awesome to have Bond himself responding to this humble post.

In this situation in particular my gut tells me that it's more about timing and relatability. She works at a bookstore and, before I talked to her, I was avidly frequenting the place having fun flirting with two sisters that worked in the cafe inside the store. Having had the hunch that she was into me, I got to talk to her for two times; I deep dived her and the little I talked about myself was about things that relate to her ambitions. Basically, I let her impress me and impress she did.

And she could fill the gaps of judging my personality by the books I read; maybe what makes her tick are guys that meditate, wanna go to China and Russia, and in search of unorthodox ways of dealing with money, that knows what written journalism is about!

So, before I talked to her, maybe she kept thinking "mmm, this guy seems interesting" whenever she saw me. Then, after weeks of mild curiosity from her part, all of a sudden knowing that I completely relate to her (or so she thinks, I guess), she just freezes. She could talk to me before but after I touched her arm and made a lame joke about her working late, all she could do was babble. Maybe her response was something like "I wanna tear my clothes apart NOW" but... I didn't understand a thing! The day after that, she asked how I was doing, but didn't (or couldn't) respond. Then, radio silence.

Yeah, I agree with you: it seems like she sees me as the perfect boyfriend candidate. There's even a fake alpha male that works with her that is jealous of me - even grabbed her and tried to kissed her on the forefront (looks very manly, right?), as I was passing by. She was just embarrassed with the guy trying to mark "his territory". The next day he looked defeated, like a beaten stray dog. Nothing too wrong with the guy: I even thought he had a chance of getting laid with her, because he does have great fundamentals - but it seems like his game is awful, trying too hard to look confident.

Wrapping up: maybe this one got invested in me way before I began talking. Maybe, in her mind, I surpassed her expectations and this, combined with lots of temporal investment from her part, made her see me as the perfect boyfriend material right from the start. I guess I couldn't have steered out of this situation anyway! Some women just put you on a pedestal without even asking you about it before, what a shame!

Awesome posts, guys.

 

[Drck]

Calm, stable, devil may care and non judgmental man is good everywhere.

Generally speaking, I noticed that many Latino guys have that natural vibe that girls like, e.g. being open, outgoing, friendly, positive and so on. I would even describe it as Nice Guys but don't make me wrong, these Nice Guys can get laid quite frequently and with relative ease because of the personality. But there is also a problem with self-esteem, I would say that guys from eastern Europe have higher self esteem and can be more dominant than Latino guys. White guys are also (generally) colder as far as personality. It seems to be the same with girls.

For example, I've been to different countries where white male is predominant. Generally the attitude towards a guy who doesn't speak native language is "get the fuck outta here, you don't belong here" and you (as a white male) have to use some balls to get respect. I mean, it is not that bad but you can notice it, and I guess that people with different color than white have it much worse. I've also been to Latin America, and without language I felt I was welcomed and respected right away. I haven't met any Latino guy who I would consider an asshole, whereas you wouldn't have to look long to find some among whites right away. My impression is that Latinos are just nicer people and more friendly than whites, in my opinion, and again, it is just a generalization, just my experience.

So it is just a different style. Latino guys I knew have just little bit different game, I never understood it that well because I have different personality, but as I describe the natural vibes above, the guys appear to be very friendly and outgoing, and once the girl is attracted they kind of pull away, become colder. She is then drawn in. Eh, what do I know, it is just different...

Latino girls can also be very misleading. For example, Latino girl I knew made me feel that she is very interested in me, that we have great vibes since the very second I met her. She was all over me physically, she gave me a lot of signs that are usually associated with sexual desire (e.g. messing up her hair with both hands while looking directly at me when we met for first time, grabbing my hand, leaning against me, being very excited...) which was a total surprise for me. I simply wasn't ready for it at all, this happened at work and I didn't expect anything like that. Honestly I just couldn't believe it, this was like a date you dream about, she was acting submissive and she was FUCKING HOT. So I hesitated a bit, I was trying to put my thoughts together, and that is most likely when I lost. After some 2 hours being together (at work) and she was persistently hitting on me, I finally put my hand - of course only coincidentally - on her knee. She then put her brakes on, and run away that second. WTF? I still don't know what to really think about it, my best guess is that she really wanted sex but when she saw that I can move quite quickly she panicked. I just don't know, but white girls I know don't behave that way.

Maybe that is something that you are describing, she is leading you on, she is making it seem that she is interested, you are thinking that you can get her if you just do the right thing - while the reality is that you are just orbiting...

 

[Knight Who Say NI]

Drck, I'm not focused on thinking if I can get her or not, just on learning from this experience. I prefer smart girls, and these, at least where I live, tend to be shy, so I REALLY want to deal better with these patterns that motivated me to create the thread!

I'm coming to the conclusion that hitting girls in their workplaces is a big NO if it is somewhere prone to gossiping. It just puts so much pressure on the girl.

The girl of this thread just keeps trying to make me chase her (she must feel really powerless in her life, I guess), but can't even respond to a single "hi". Yeah, tried it again today - she opened her mouth as if to say something but no sound came out of it.

Then the "fake alpha male" guy laugh at me in front of another (female) coworker, as if he won anything and I lost - but the one who will be really harassed will be the girl, not me. I don't have nothing to lose and don't care about strangers' opinions about me.

Right now I feel frustration for not succeeding in letting things easier for the girl (and I really tried to go unnoticed...), but am I missing something, guys? Am I being overly dramatic, as if most girls in this situation would probably say "fuck it" and go for it if I push the right buttons?

 

[Drck]

Don't know man, my impression is that you are over-analyzing. If she were interested she would say Hi. IMO even shy girl says Hi.

Many (especially pretty) girls are teasers. They lead you on, they flirt, they make it seem that they are very interested in you, but when you show some serious interest they are gone that second....

I don't think they are doing it for purpose to make you upset or just screw around, rather they are simply increasing their low confidence. They want to be aroud hot guys, they want to talk about sex and express their sexuality, but at the same time they are too anxious, too afraid to do something...

Maybe you are simply doing too much, there may not be any "button" that YOU can press... She's got all the buttons, not you, and she is only pressing those buttons that keep you thinking you got a chance if you only do the right thing...

I was in similar situation for one full year; I did my best, I pressed many "buttons", I think I did really great as a seducer, top of my skills - but at the end I walked away with NOTHING. I still don't understand the whole interaction, what really happened, but my conclusion is that I should have stopped pressing buttons. I was frustrated then and I'm still frustrated and pissed at myself today because I don't fully understand, and perhaps that I simply DID TOO MUCH...

.... She KNOWS you are after her, just by the way you look at her and try to talk her. She just KNOWS, and that might be the problem. You can't make her UN-KNOWN it as long as you stay interested in her. Try this: totally drop her, focus on another girls for couple days or weeks even I front of her, ignore her... I would really be surprised if she didn't turn around and came after you...

 

[Knight Who Say NI]

Drck,

Yeah, I AM analyzing! It's just what we have to do when we're doing the conscious effort of changing existing behaviors and implementing new ones! If we didn't have to think about the best course of action we can take, we wouldn't be in this board discussing the best, most efficient way of seducing women.

I recognize that what you say is possible, but it isn't probable. Like Chase said in one of his articles, the girl must feel that she has the upper hand with you to lead you on. Thus, a flirty girl could never get nervous around you - she already thinks you're lower value than her! Nervousness, by definition, comes from this feeling of being out of control ("what will HE do now? OMG, I don't know!").

These two articles hit the nail on the head:
https://www.girlschase.com/content/shes- ... -be-it-her
https://www.girlschase.com/content/what’s-great-about-inexperienced-women-and-what-isn’t

It's funny how your last paragraph describes exactly what happened yesterday to me: a cute librarian was acting the same as this girl we're talking about. She couldn't even say hi to me, either. For a month I didn't visit the public library; after so much time away she was really happy to see me, a escalation window opened and this time I made it pretty clear that I'll move things forward with her; didn't give her number, though - I made the mistake of asking for it near her boss, instead of moving and isolating her, THEN getting a date. Wasn't flirty but almost everything she said about herself was to relate to my interests.

 

[Knight Who Say NI]

A quick update:

The coolest thing about women is that they'll always find a way to surprise you. I went to the bookstore two days later after writing how hitting girls in their workplace is "a big no". This time, as Franco knows pretty well by his experience, she went on "fuck it" mode; after she saw me, she almost tore her shirt out, to make it easier for me to see her tits bouncing beautifully. It was so obvious that female clients with their boyfriends were incredibly jealous in front of her - pretty funny thing to watch.

It's as if, in her reasoning, she was trying to compensate for "ignoring" me earlier...

...only to repeat the same thing when I tried again, to talk to her. This time she could say "excuse me" - that's some progress. lol. But by being at her workplace I couldn't be more aggressive, unfortunately. As I was leaving the place she seemed like she was asking for advice from a guy (gay?) friend.

As she does have a pretty sexy and confident walk, I am assuming that she must have, for me, a crush the size of Godzilla (the newest one, of course), instead of being a girl with serious holes in her auto image. All in all, this thing is progressing slow, but it seems like it is going in a good direction, as I am maintaining almost effortlessly this amazing sexual tension between us. I'll give her a week of suspense, to let her think if she scared me away of not, and see if this resets her and make it easier to progressing things.

By the way, about this reseting thing, I had an idea. Could you guys give me a feedback? The thing is: if this situation goes like this, I guess it could take ages until she can start to get comfortable enough around me; I thought about writing her a brief letter: nothing fancy, just to say to her that she's cool and that getting nervous is pretty normal, and that I feel that her being nervous around me is an amazing compliment. Just something for her to reflect in a low pressure environment to help her change her mindset to something more productive to us getting together.

Now things start to complicate a little bit (and maybe make it seem like a shitty idea): as I am the trigger for her nervousness, I feel like I can't deliver the letter to her myself - could it be "too much"?. But the manager of the store is a relative of hers and maybe could help it go smoothly. Is it a bad idea to envolve a third party in your efforts to seduce a woman, or unusual situations could call for unusual measures?

Funny how we men develop ourselves: most of us start putting girls on pedestals; years later we find out that even beautiful girls have average self steem.

 

[Flames]

A few things.

Shy girls are usually ok, I've got one at the minute who most of the time we just 'babble' to each other, we flirt pretty much all the time and she's a blusher so it's easy to read her too (bonus). You have to be careful not to be full on flirt mode all the time as that can be overwhelming, so dial it back and be serious every now and again. Being ever so slightly submissive occasionally works well at the right time (when it gets too much for her) as do plenty of encouraging smiles.

Chase frames work when they're done well, she actually chase frames me to which I just go into mysterious and amused mode. Keep it light hearted and fun and of course non-judgemental.

As to using a 3rd party that's a big NO. Just ask her out on a casual date (daytime coffee?) if she's interested then she'll say yes, and if she doesn't say yes then that is more than likely as far as you'll get.

Oh and build imvestment by getting her to do things for you. In a bookstore I would imagine getting her advise on a book would be a good 'opener'

 

[Drck]

I would strongly advice against writing any letter to a new girl, especially anything longer than 2-3 sentences. I did it several times and it always ended up as a FUCKING DISASTER. The girls always flipped. The latest girl I sent letter to, she was fine with the first letter. It made her quite emotional, which was my original intention, but looking back I would not do it again. She was also different than other girls, much more mature, very social and with pretty high IQ, so she was more tolerant and understanding than "average" girl. Based on her reactions I also appeared quite sexy before I sent the letter, which is important to note. Nevertheless, I totally screwed it up with second letter, I was thinking that everything goes well - but that was just too much even for her. When I saw her after that, she literaly covered her face with her hand and looked at me through fingers. I quickly downgraded my attempts for romance, but she was very close to freaking out.

In my opinion, it doesn't work because girls are too sensitive. Girls can read your mind. I don't mean in some mysterious ways or telepathy, but simply they know what is your intention by reading your actions. For example, you send a longer letter and you may think that it is neutral, but just because the fact that it is longer she knows right away that you invested too much time into it, that you spent time thinking about her. She knows that if you think about her it is only for one reason - you like her a lot, or you falling in love with her. Now, you include some romantic words in the letter, and it tells her right away that you are too sensitive. In her mind you put her on a pedestal, you presented yourself as a weak sensitive guy (e.g. alpha doesn't write any letters, he goes to the girl and talks to her), and your sexual value drops. Now she's got to deal with HER emotions, and YOUR emotions as well. That is just too much. She doesn't really want emotional guy, she is looking for Alpha traits (colder, non-reactive, emotionally stable,...)

I could be wrong, but I think that at first I presented myself as sexy guy who can move quite fast, but then I totally screwed it up with letter, in which she read that I am SLOW, romantic and too sensitive. She was looking for NSA style sex, yet I screwed it up with a fucking romance. I changed my frame, which was a total disaster.

Anyway, I'd really like to know if writing a letter has ever worked for anyone else...??

 

[Franco]

Just chiming in here:

Could you guys give me a feedback? The thing is: if this situation goes like this, I guess it could take ages until she can start to get comfortable enough around me; I thought about writing her a brief letter: nothing fancy, just to say to her that she's cool and that getting nervous is pretty normal, and that I feel that her being nervous around me is an amazing compliment. Just something for her to reflect in a low pressure environment to help her change her mindset to something more productive to us getting together.

I have to agree with Drck, here. Writing a letter to her is going to come across as either very needy, very manipulative, or possibly both. Girls see right through that kind of stuff. Generally those types of things have a very negative effect on women if you haven't slept with them yet because it just feels like a very sorry attempt to get her attention or get in her pants. I would avoid sending letters at all costs.

- Franco

 

[Knight Who Say NI]

Thanks for the thoughtful responses, guys.

I'm giving the girl a bit of space to see if after a week or so she'll deal better with her social anxiety and just stay put when I'm near her, and letting me finish a sentence, let alone starting a conversation and making things happen.

We'll see.

 

[Flames]

Thanks for the thoughtful responses, guys.

I'm giving the girl a bit of space to see if after a week or so she'll deal better with her social anxiety and just stay put when I'm near her, and letting me finish a sentence, let alone starting a conversation and making things happen.

We'll see.

Just to put another perspective on that. Space too early can seem like a rejection.

 

[Knight Who Say NI]

Hey guys, I hope that you all had an excellent month. I had some interesting insights and some interesting things happened in these weeks.

First, I'm in doubt about the concept of "chasing" and that if this girl (the shy one from the bookstore that's been playing almost-impossible-to-get) is, finally, doing some chasing. I'll resume it this way: I got tired of "waiting for the perfect moment" (the one in which she would be alone and open to talk and letting me make things progress), decided to cut the losses but, as I think she is an interesting girl, I thrown her a lifeline - a Facebook message and an invitation (the profile have no pictures of me, just a funny picture of Frank Zappa).

(Yeah, I think this is pretty lame, also. Exceptional situations call for exceptional measures, I guess.)

My thought at the time was "well, it will take quite a while for her to respond - first the secret council of women's affairs (the close friends and acquaintances of a girl) will discuss the issue, then she will send something saying that she is not interested, even though she is". I didn't go at the bookstore for two weeks, after going three, four times a week for a month. Went for a cup of joe last friday and sunday - first for gearing up for the party I went to catch some tail, then for waking up after a marathon of sex (I didn't take a shower, obviously ) -; didn't pay her much attention, though. On sunday she was really aroused when she saw me (I don't know why! lol), even though we were about 5-10 meters (16-32 feet) apart: biting her lower lip, showing her neck, passing her hands through her body, and strategically placed where she could see me all the time without looking like it.

Then on monday she replied my message saying: "I thought my silence would be enough. I don't want to talk or see you. Stop going at my workplace." (What she did write was, actually, way more polished than my crude translation)

Yeah... Right.

Here's the kicker: these messages from people that aren't your "friends" on Facebook go to a dustbin of sorts: a paste called "other messages", that you need to actively look for. My newest message there was from a year ago. So, the girl not only remembered my name that I mentioned in passing two months ago, but knew that me was me and searched for my message in this spam folder.

I could only guess that she was expecting that I would go at her workplace to ask her if she received my message/invitation - and gaining more control over me in the process (and killing her attraction for me, of course).

Does this act of her sending this message qualify as chasing?

By the way, it reminds me that the last girl who "brushed me off" this way fell in love for me pretty hard - but it was an easier situation to manage because I've bedded her before, the day I saw her.

My first insight: that I owe some beer for the guys that work with her. I couldn't ask for better wingmen than them: all of them hit on her - when I was around. They all would get really possessive and hide it under the classic nice guy facade. It's pretty clear to me that all they did was cementing in her head that I'm a REALLY desirable man - because they would get so upset when I would be at the store, doing nothing but having a cup of coffee and reading books. It's the law of the least effort to the core!

Second insight: I think I'm starting to decode the pattern of these shy, nervous girls. I realized that they show some signs of interest first, I reciprocate (why wouldn't I take my chances with a cute girl?) but can't ask them out/ask for their number on the spot because they're at their workplace. Some days pass; when they see me again, they are a lot more nervous/tense around me. I saw this clearly with a cute busty girl at a restaurant: after not seeing her for two days, she was all tense near me. When I looked her in the eye and gave her a smile, her tension dissipated and she couldn't hide her joy - she was so happy after that. What seems to happen is that they daydream about me in these "days off" and then, when I appear again, they just don't know what to do. But is this "liking too much" a sure signal that I'm into boyfriend material territory, or could it be that they are fantasizing about me as a lover?

Third insight: now I'm beginning to realize the power of genuine compliments on girls. At the same restaurant the cashier always lights up as a christmas tree when I'm around, after I told her that she doesn't look like a high school dropout.

Fourth insight: funny how I approached more girls AFTER receiving that message on Facebook two days ago than in the two weeks before that! Kinda interesting the difference it makes when you're in or out of control of the seduction process, and the motivation to meet different girls. I mean, I think that this girl is amazing and see a potential for a really great relationship, but those other girls out there... There are so many gorgeous girls that I want to be with!

I'll conclude this long post by saying that now I'll respond to her message (after leaving her waiting a bit, without knowing if I'll take her words seriously or not) with some genuine compliments about those things I really appreciate in her, slaying the monster of auto-rejection and low attainability. And feel her swoon. Then, get a date as quick as possible, take her to my place and ease the HUGE sexual tension between us by absolutely destroying her on the bed by being a horny, primal beast from hell. I'm sure she will thank me.

Sounds like a good plan, guys? Your opinions are much appreciated, as always.

 

[Franco]

KWSNI,

Your last post was a bit confusing, but the gist of it I gathered that you tried to message her on Facebook, she responded saying she knows who you are and that you're basically creeping her out.

It sounds like you need to cut this one off, bud.

There was probably a phase where she might have been attracted to you, but at some point (either because you didn't make a move quickly enough or you made a move at a bad time), she went into auto-rejection on you. Now you're still hanging around and trying to give her looks as if it's the beginning of an interaction, and she has no idea what it is that you want, so she's starting to get creeped out by you.

I would just move on to the next girl. Considering this was a girl from over a month ago, you've already been chasing this one for too long, so I don't blame the girl for asking you to stop contacting/seeing her. Like you said, there are plenty of beautiful women out there! Pick yourself back up and try approaching some new ones. =)

EDIT:

I would also check out this article: How to Not Be The Creepy Guy

- Franco