Sick on the 6th Date

[edgeguy1983]

I've been seeing this girl now for about a month that I met on eHarmony. We have good chemistry but she's a little shy and has already given me the "want to go slow" speech. I really don't care all that much because I was married for 5 years, after which I dated a girl who gave it up on the 3rd date (and every weekend afterwards) and now I'm just seeing what's out there. Basically I'm not jonesing for sex, yet.....

We text everyday, multiple times a day. I still login to eHarmony and check my matches and talk with other women as we haven't discussed being exclusive. I noticed for the first time she logged in on Wednesday, looked at my profile and uploaded a new photo. She could have been logging in all that time but she wanted me to see, why else click on my profile? It's totally within the realm of possibility that I reached out to a friend of hers on EH, I've had that happen to me before, who showed her my message which would have prompted her to log back in and either upload a photo to fuck with me or to actually restart on the site. We were supposed to go out tonight which would be a our sixth date, no sex yet BTW, but she just texted me to cancel because she is sick. No alternative plans provided.

Now I'll admit that I caught some feelings for this girl so seeing her on the eHarmony then this cancellation stings a bit but she's obviously free to date whoever since we're not exclusive. However tonight I was going to ASK if she wanted to be exclusive because I think there might be something there. If not, then at the very least maybe us being exclusive would make her more comfortable and open her up more, both emotionally and sexually.

Her texts have been coming over less frequently and I'm noticing that I'm the one initiating. She used to text me every morning at 8am to wake me up because I asked her to and she did that for a month. That stopped yesterday. So finally I text her this morning asking if she still wants to hang out and says she just work up and she's sick. She's been telling me all week she hasn't been feeling well so it could be legit or just a way to justify not seeing me and slowing up our conversations. I even jokingly asked if I could bring her some soup but she said she was good.

So that's basically 2 rejections in one morning, haha, which I'm taking isn't a great sign. I'm talking with 3 other girls on EH so I'm not sweating it too much, but obviously I've invested a LOT of time in this girl and on the off chance that she's being truthful, I don't want to blow it. My plan is go dark and see how she reacts. I figure if she's actually interested then she'll eventually get antsy and reach back out.

Just basically looking for any other advice or maybe something I missed? I was reading an interesting exchange on why women withhold sex and she could be playing the "provider" game as she's 34 and has never been married. I was thinking maybe she's a virgin and just sabotages relationships before they can become physically intimate.

 

[edgeguy1983]

Quick update, it took her 3.5hrs to send me a random text message about a conversation we had yesterday. I'm still not totally convinced.

 

[ray_zorse]

Dude you had better read articles on www.girlschase.com, if you had done your research thoroughly you would know that we expect girls want you to lead them to sex and get sick of waiting if you don't do that. Sounds like you just didn't make a move while you had the chance. Unless she refused your escalation in which case you fucked up some other way. Sounds like this ship has sailed bro. On the offchance she's still keen, go dark until she initiates, NEXT if she doesn't, invite her to your house on some pretext such as cooking food or watching a movie if she does. If she refuses or wants to meet in public, NEXT. If she accepts, make love to her within half an hour of her entering your home.
Ray

 

[edgeguy1983]

Ray,

You're 100% right. Started reading some articles on the site and I know exactly how I fucked up. I kept this long ass text conversation going before we ever met rather than just setting up the first date and we text all the damn time. And after reading the friend zone article, I'm stuck knee deep in it even though we've made out. In fact she texted me this morning to ask how I did shooting last night, I answered the question and asked her to lunch and bam, she's busy. Fuck this.

I looked at the article on how to text girls and setup a date with a girl whose number I got this morning, haha. This shit really works. After being with the same girl for 7 years, and married to her for 5, I lost a ton of my game. This site is a god send.

 

[Beast69]

Edgeguy1983, to further on from what Ray said, it is best to move on and not use this girl as a high chance anymore, but if you did want to try a Hail Mary then read the article on GC on how to get out of a friendzone and as Ray said invite her to only your place for something eg movie or lunch at yours, given you have already been out on multiple dates without intimacy the chances of pulling the trigger now are slim, but good to see you find another one already.

-B

 

[edgeguy1983]

Yup, I'm done. If she wants go out again she can initiate. It's ridiculously obvious to me now that she either wants a friend or me to chase her.