- Joined
- Oct 28, 2013
- Messages
- 290
Hello,
I am still new to the forums, so if this is not in the right section, please tell me in which section I should post it.
I went to my old college to visit my frat last weekend and one of the nights, I was out in the courtyard of the apartment complex, just outside one of my frat's suites, where all the people come together to chat and take in the sight of loud music, people roaming around, etc. I started a conversation with this girl and her two friends for fun, nothing serious at first. Light banter for some time, her friends go off but the girl I initiated with stayed talking to me. I assumed that she was unaware and notified her about their departure, which prompted her to look back, then look at me, assess the situation, then leave. Obviously I fucked up here. I thought she was really cute, let her go and made a mental note of it.
In the morning and throughout most of the day, when the alcohol has worn off, my logical brain is beating itself up again for letting her go (I do this often when I'm talking to women often... why? I don't know... politeness?) Anyways, I wanted my "Redo", my "retry", the second chance that most of us don't get, especially since I was visiting, which meant seeing her would be even more rare.
Night time comes, I find myself in the courtyard again, talking to a friend of mine on one of the benches, when I see the girl. This time around, I told myself, "Look dude, you gotta at least tell this girl what's up." So I ran up, stopped her, placed both hands on each of her shoulders, looked her straight in the eyes and said, "Out of all the girls I've seen here tonight, I think you are by far the most beautiful." And I walked away. That was it. Went back to the bench, sat down and was pleased with myself that I didn't make a regretful decision and decide not to tell state my interests.
Later in the night, I was chilling on the second floor balcony chilling with some of my brothers, people watching as I often enjoy doing. Out of my peripherals I see the girl walking by eyeing me up. I turn around, stop her, motion her a spot right next to me as my one friend gets out of the way to let me talk to her. We get into some light banter but then I deep dive. I am totally having fun and not taking things seriously because the last thing I thought possible for myself was intimacy with this cute brunette, who was taller than me, had a cute face, and had a slender frame. In retrospect, I realized I could have closed without doing any light banter or deep diving but I didn't know how to say, "Let's get out of here and go to your place," without saying, "Let's get out of here and go to your place." In addition, I realize that she was giving me indications that she wanted me to move the process along (fidgeting a bit, becoming a bit restless), but I didn't understand those as wanting to move forward, but me not leading the conversation properly. After about 10 minutes of chatting, her friend came along and I said hello, the girl said, "I'm going to sleep", her friend said I should walk her home. At that moment, I was like, "Is this happening right now?" by this, I meant taking a girl to bed. As I said before, I had no intention of getting intimate with her because I thought she was out of my league and I'm still a virgin (*gasp*). I comply and we head off to wherever she lives.
This is where I need feedback from the community here because I've gotten to these "pull" points only a few times, I always back out cos of nerves.
We are walking back and I tell her to lead us to wherever her hall is as I don't know. My question here is, "Should we have gone walking aimlessly and she would say, 'O, my dorm is this way?" or did I make the right decision in giving her the lead?
I make small talk to keep things light so the walk isn't awkward and the tension doesn't build up so high for both her and me.
We get to her dorm and for some reason I tell her to show me around. In retrospect, why I did this... maybe I was trying to have fun or maybe I was putting off the inevitable cos I was making a big deal out of sex (yes, I think sex is super important and I don't want my memory of the first time ever to be a negative trigger). We eventually make our way from the third floor down to the foyer which is right by her dorm room. OKAY, here is where I need a breakdown of what I should have done instead of what I did do at the moment. We stop, she is facing me and I'm facing her. She tells me she is going to sleep. I am really nervous and in my head I am thinking, "No way does this girl want me to sleep with her, I made her feel so awkward when we were talking (remember she was fidgeting and getting restless)." I say something, and instead of letting her go at that I kiss her. She pulls away... which I am assuming I caught her off guard. I should have went in again, but I was freaked out by her reaction that I thought I scared her and turned her off. I tell her, "Alright, cyah." I watch her walk to her room, she opens the door, turns around and says, "I'm going to bed." At this moment I am panicking because of my kiss and the last thing I was thinking about was persisting only to freak her out even more. So I let her go, I said, "Sorry if I ruined your first kiss," assuming that girls freakout like that when they aren't used to guys kissing them the way I did. I walk out and rather and am pleased although I failed, being optimistic. If I had performed things correctly, I would have kissed her, she would've pulled back, I would have laughed and went in again for a more passionate kiss. I'd tell her, "Show me your room." We'd walk over, close the door and I'd close. Unfortunately that is not what happened.
I would really appreciate objective criticism from those reading my report. What I should have and should not have done. Things I did right and things I did wrong. Any points or advice that I should remember next time I'm in a situation like this.
Thank you for reading and take care everyone,
- The Wise Fool
I am still new to the forums, so if this is not in the right section, please tell me in which section I should post it.
I went to my old college to visit my frat last weekend and one of the nights, I was out in the courtyard of the apartment complex, just outside one of my frat's suites, where all the people come together to chat and take in the sight of loud music, people roaming around, etc. I started a conversation with this girl and her two friends for fun, nothing serious at first. Light banter for some time, her friends go off but the girl I initiated with stayed talking to me. I assumed that she was unaware and notified her about their departure, which prompted her to look back, then look at me, assess the situation, then leave. Obviously I fucked up here. I thought she was really cute, let her go and made a mental note of it.
In the morning and throughout most of the day, when the alcohol has worn off, my logical brain is beating itself up again for letting her go (I do this often when I'm talking to women often... why? I don't know... politeness?) Anyways, I wanted my "Redo", my "retry", the second chance that most of us don't get, especially since I was visiting, which meant seeing her would be even more rare.
Night time comes, I find myself in the courtyard again, talking to a friend of mine on one of the benches, when I see the girl. This time around, I told myself, "Look dude, you gotta at least tell this girl what's up." So I ran up, stopped her, placed both hands on each of her shoulders, looked her straight in the eyes and said, "Out of all the girls I've seen here tonight, I think you are by far the most beautiful." And I walked away. That was it. Went back to the bench, sat down and was pleased with myself that I didn't make a regretful decision and decide not to tell state my interests.
Later in the night, I was chilling on the second floor balcony chilling with some of my brothers, people watching as I often enjoy doing. Out of my peripherals I see the girl walking by eyeing me up. I turn around, stop her, motion her a spot right next to me as my one friend gets out of the way to let me talk to her. We get into some light banter but then I deep dive. I am totally having fun and not taking things seriously because the last thing I thought possible for myself was intimacy with this cute brunette, who was taller than me, had a cute face, and had a slender frame. In retrospect, I realized I could have closed without doing any light banter or deep diving but I didn't know how to say, "Let's get out of here and go to your place," without saying, "Let's get out of here and go to your place." In addition, I realize that she was giving me indications that she wanted me to move the process along (fidgeting a bit, becoming a bit restless), but I didn't understand those as wanting to move forward, but me not leading the conversation properly. After about 10 minutes of chatting, her friend came along and I said hello, the girl said, "I'm going to sleep", her friend said I should walk her home. At that moment, I was like, "Is this happening right now?" by this, I meant taking a girl to bed. As I said before, I had no intention of getting intimate with her because I thought she was out of my league and I'm still a virgin (*gasp*). I comply and we head off to wherever she lives.
This is where I need feedback from the community here because I've gotten to these "pull" points only a few times, I always back out cos of nerves.
We are walking back and I tell her to lead us to wherever her hall is as I don't know. My question here is, "Should we have gone walking aimlessly and she would say, 'O, my dorm is this way?" or did I make the right decision in giving her the lead?
I make small talk to keep things light so the walk isn't awkward and the tension doesn't build up so high for both her and me.
We get to her dorm and for some reason I tell her to show me around. In retrospect, why I did this... maybe I was trying to have fun or maybe I was putting off the inevitable cos I was making a big deal out of sex (yes, I think sex is super important and I don't want my memory of the first time ever to be a negative trigger). We eventually make our way from the third floor down to the foyer which is right by her dorm room. OKAY, here is where I need a breakdown of what I should have done instead of what I did do at the moment. We stop, she is facing me and I'm facing her. She tells me she is going to sleep. I am really nervous and in my head I am thinking, "No way does this girl want me to sleep with her, I made her feel so awkward when we were talking (remember she was fidgeting and getting restless)." I say something, and instead of letting her go at that I kiss her. She pulls away... which I am assuming I caught her off guard. I should have went in again, but I was freaked out by her reaction that I thought I scared her and turned her off. I tell her, "Alright, cyah." I watch her walk to her room, she opens the door, turns around and says, "I'm going to bed." At this moment I am panicking because of my kiss and the last thing I was thinking about was persisting only to freak her out even more. So I let her go, I said, "Sorry if I ruined your first kiss," assuming that girls freakout like that when they aren't used to guys kissing them the way I did. I walk out and rather and am pleased although I failed, being optimistic. If I had performed things correctly, I would have kissed her, she would've pulled back, I would have laughed and went in again for a more passionate kiss. I'd tell her, "Show me your room." We'd walk over, close the door and I'd close. Unfortunately that is not what happened.
I would really appreciate objective criticism from those reading my report. What I should have and should not have done. Things I did right and things I did wrong. Any points or advice that I should remember next time I'm in a situation like this.
Thank you for reading and take care everyone,
- The Wise Fool
