FR Slim pickings

[zappbrannigan]

I wasn't really feeling it this morning, but I went into town anyway after reviewing two more daygame training videos. One was about keeping a conversation flowing, which I skipped through as I knew it all by heart (knowing the theory is not the same as being able to apply it in practice, but that's simply a matter of doing it enough. Intellectually I know this, but I still need to feel it in my heart). The other was about the anatomy of an instant date.

After about an hour of walking and not approaching anyone (I think I only passed up 1 real opportunity though), I got lightheaded and decided it was time for lunch. I sat down and combined it with observation. I noticed one woman talking to an attractive waiter and I saw her shoe dangling up and down on her toes. This is supposed to be an IOI, so I watched to see when she would stop dangling her shoe. She didn't stop immediately when the waiter was gone, but it didn't take more than 2 minutes before she indeed stopped. The shoe was still hanging on her toes but not dangling up and down anymore. Myth confirmed

So later I sat down for a coffee and I noticed a woman coming out of the shop I was at. She sat down straight in plain view of me, and she touched her hair once, I think. She had her feet on the ground, one pointing at me. It was very subtle, and maybe not even the case. I hesitated and did not approach. I wasn't super-attracted to her, but I should try to make a habit out of it anyway, just to "test" the assumption.

So I went walking again. I saw one girl that I wondered about and as I passed her and took a closer look I thought she was nice, but I had waited too long to approach (remember the 5 second rule). There was one I almost approached but when I got closer I didn't like her.

I noticed I was withdrawing into myself, so I walked into a shoe store (I do need a new pair of shoes). One of the girls (the more senior one) looked like a drag queen, and the other was a bit young and not super attractive to me. But nevertheless I made a dry comment which the younger one liked a bit. I brought some fun to their (and my own) day.

As I walked on, I noticed a really cute girl. I turned, ran after her and did a side stop. She looked a bit startled (she had been wearing earbuds which I had not noticed). I asked if she spoke Dutch, but not really. I said "you're all like gaah", imitating how she acted, with a smile. I then said "don't worry, I'm not trying to sell you anything", and then launched my real opener. She looked at me in a really different light. I asked her name, which was "Ash". I thought about the name and said "Ash...", and before I could say something about Evil Dead (the main character is Ash - yes I am a total geek), she clarified "it's Ashwarya, I'm Indian" (I'm a sucker for this type of woman). I said "ah", but then she said "and I've got a boyfriend". I said "that's too bad" but with a wistful smile, and I was about to say "have a nice day" and walk off when she asked me for my name. She really seemed to like me. I'm not even sure why I think this, but it was clear as day. I also really liked her energy. Next time I should continue the conversation regardless. Even if she's taken, I can still enjoy the interaction!

Then I saw a girl who was eating an ice cream and made brief eye contact. I walked over and mentioned Ali's line "I have a rule... if a woman looks at me too long, I have to walk over and talk to her". She smiled and said she had a boyfriend. Then she qualified that with "of 7 years", possibly to make clear that I would've had a shot if the relationship was not as strong(!). She said she liked "that I approached people".

I had been walking around the city for four hours already and decided to call it a day. Quite disappointing results, but I can go again tomorrow. Finally, I saw one more girl I sort of liked. She had a shirt on that said "don't be jealous", and I decided to use it as an opener: "I like your shirt". She was a bit shy and thanked me for the compliment. I asked what she was doing and she was shopping for stuff for vacation. She was going to Egypt. This is where she was from originally. I used a tip from the London Day Game Model where you say "when hear <whatever she says>, I think of <stereotype>", which sets up a fun interaction. In this case, it was "when I think of Egypt, I think of pyramids", and she actually completed my sentence for me. I didn't do it 100% perfectly, because you're supposed to make it about her, not the subject. So you could say "I think of you riding a camel in the desert" or something. But whatever. I asked her about what she did, and she was a software engineer. I initially avoided the obvious "oh, so am I", but after a few seconds more conversation I threw it in because I was grasping at straws. The conversation really didn't flow. So I ejected. In retrospect, I'm not sure that was the best thing to do, because she seemed to kind of like the interaction, but I wasn't really into her and I didn't enjoy the interaction.

 

[zappbrannigan]

I wasn't really feeling it but I still went into town for a second day of day game. There were quite a few people there! I passed up a handful of opportunities.
After an hour of walking I sat down to get a coffee. There was nobody there really. I don't know why I went to sit inside.

I noticed in myself that I was a little overstimulated today. Potentially due the tenseness in my shoulders and neck from my exercise?

This could explain why I was completely up in my head. I let this get to me too much. At one point I saw a girl walk by and I kicked myself into talking to her. I told her the usual (I had to come over because she was cute). I also said the usual "don't be scared" and this was fine. I have my initial approach down perfectly. Even if sometimes I still fuck it up, nine times out of ten it's fine. It's not exactly hard, but apparently some guys have trouble with their body language and I believe that's something I don't have a problem with.

I asked her what she was doing today. She was picking up a friend from the station. Then I asked her what she usually does. Well, work, she said and I tried to make a joke about that everyone does this, mostly to loosen up myself. She just looked at me. I really started to sweat now (it was warm already). She was really in that mode "ok dance for me, monkey boy". She didn't hook. And I noticed in myself that I was asking more questions, which is a total attraction killer, so I eventually decided to eject. I told her have a nice day and off I went. I still felt good about myself for finally having talked to a girl after 2 hours of aimless wandering the streets. Then I walked some more but did not approach anyone. I may have seen a handful of opportunities.

NOTE: I should memorise some more statements and questions so I don't shut down like this. It sort of happened yesterday as well with the last girl I talked to.

One interesting thing I noticed was there was one woman who was really an eye catcher (with her boyfriend. Also, she was a bit trashy). I noticed her and I saw a group of three young guys walk and two of them really turned around their torsoes to ogle the woman. I could not help but smile. I prefer my own rule: ignore or approach. I just need to live by it a bit more!

Then I went home and stopped by the supermarket on the way back. I noticed one of the cashiers (a cute one, no less!) was glancing from the corner of her eye. Later I was paying my stuff and she was standing there to talk to another girl who worked there and again I saw her checking me out. She turned and went into the liquor store which is where she worked. And I fucking walked out. Goddammit!

In hindsight this might have been the best thing to do, since I was really up in my head and not talkative today. Perhaps I should try to visit that shop more often, see if she does it again and then approach? hm, I could get a new bottle of scotch or rum, but that particular chain of stores doesn't have the best selection and her shop is a rather small one too. And going to a store just on the off chance a particular woman is there is chasing behaviour. grr....