so after 2 weeks of radio silence from me aka i diden't say anything. she texted me its the same girl from february

[William Wallace]

and i'm still going to the area where its only a day travel away from her, the responce was a Hey Hey! i just wrote back hey (insert name) which was a bit dumb perhaps but now its done i didn't want to sound so needy after 2 weeks of not writing anything.

So any tips for Saving Private William Wallace love interests here?

Should i have acted more warm? giving value rewarding her for reaching out to me?

one of my friends theory is that i'm her back burner so. she has this ¨boyfriend¨ across half the globe who have never meet each other in real life but talked on the internet for 2 years. each time i talked to her she referred him as a Friend only.

 

[Fluxcapacitor]

@William Wallace dude! I'm confused to fuck, is this the one who told you she was on her period? Who lives miles away that you wouldn't see until the summer? Or is this the one before that?

In my opinion you shouldn't have acted any warmer than you did. Hey hey! Is a low effort ping, she could have sent that to everyone. Saying hi name is a good response, you're not there to entertain her and if she's decided to engage you then she should be making some effort or she's literally contacted you because she's bored.

I usually make girls qualify themselves to me if they reach out after a while off not seeing each other. You shouldn't reward her for crawling back with a low effort ping, you reward after they qualify.

Wait to see what she comes back with, usually it's a how are you or what's new with you. The latter she's being polite and making conversation but this is also making you qualify yourself. Side step this, or give a little and then make her qualify. This is when you lead the conversation unless she explicitly mentions or hints towards meeting.

If you're not going to be anywhere near her for a while read up on long game on girls chase - I'd link you but I'm on my phone dude

 

[Fluxcapacitor]

I also recommend giving a quick overview of the situation. February was ages ago and not everyone is clued up on your life dude

 

[William Wallace]

I also recommend giving a quick overview of the situation. February was ages ago and not everyone is clued up on your life dude

OKay one SITREP coming right in
(like really warm for the first 2 weeks always contacting me)

She was Warm for 3 weeks intill mid march ish where i asked if she wanted to meet she said maybe... then she contacted me twice after that probably wanting to say Yes........ and i was a slight jerk after that, i recoverd it sorta she then started to become more more cold i was sending her Girls chase checkup texts (hey insert name something new about my life, hows yours) kinda deal every 2-5 days.

she was getting more cold and then i guess, she contacted me a few times i mostly starting it... so i started to pull away but then i fucked over. she sendt a long message that was probably a shittest i just responded with an thumbs up emoji . i went radio silent on her after that emoji fuck up and she wrote back to me Hey Hey! which was warmer then her most heys before that .

according to my knowledge she has given me shes a quite inexperienced girl. and perhaps a virgin She had one boyfriend i guess before her Boyfriend over the fucking seas

I'm willing to talk strategy on skype if anyone wanna be my ¨online dating tip guy¨or teamspeak for that matter. if not to fix this atleast if you guys have time go over my failures reflect on them and learn something to me or yourself.

as i have discussed with my friend another mans donkey is another mans unicorn when it comes to girls. She has similar interests to me that is quite hard to find in females. that is my thing most girls bore me so finding one with similar interest is a primary goal.

(forgot to mention she did flirt with me but i played it safe as i diden't know how to respond or i just joked about it)

 

[Fluxcapacitor]

@William Wallace dude! So this is the one from online where it went well for 2 and a half weeks? Lives miles away but you might visit in the summer? Told you she was on her period? If this is the one I totally agree with @BigPapa dudes advice when he said drop it, it makes no sense to waste time on someone you can't meet. If you can't meet for a while my original reply of checking out long game is the best way to work this.

You've made a few mistakes, but don't worry dude we all do. Her reply of maybe to meeting is shit, there's an article on it but basically remove your proposal, don't let her have that power of letting you know. It implies she's higher value, you were framed as the chaser. When she contacts you after that make her qualify. Depending on how she came back depends on if your attitude was called for.

Check up texts every 2 to 5 days would have bored her, you can't see her for ages and you do this routinely. Boring! Shake it up with I've seen this and thought about you. I bet I've had a better weekend than yours. A funny meme or video, you have to build rapport or show value not repeat one option again and again.

She went cold because you bored her and it was pointless. It was never going anywhere. Try to escalate in text or something again - long game.

I don't know what the long message was, I don't know if the thumbs up was a good reply. Definitely law of least effort, probably passed the shit test because she's reached out to you. This puts her in the chasing position because you could have kept no contact.

This is an opportunity, but your game has to be better or she'll frame you as platonic. Maybe you're happy being platonic and just her friend because you live miles away and have a lot in common. The longer it takes you to frame yourself as a sexual guy the more platonic you will become and the less excited she'll be towards meeting you.

Your strategy is long game and this girl is just practice. You can test run stuff with her while you continue to meet girls you can actually meet and more than for 2 month each year where you're always the one travelling. That's such a shit position to put yourself in dude. If it's what you want to do you'll do it anyway, but your text game has to be on point and a dont mean in tbe traditional way of texts are for logistics only.

 

[William Wallace]

@William Wallace dude! So this is the one from online where it went well for 2 and a half weeks? Lives miles away but you might visit in the summer? Told you she was on her period? If this is the one I totally agree with @BigPapa dudes advice when he said drop it, it makes no sense to waste time on someone you can't meet. If you can't meet for a while my original reply of checking out long game is the best way to work this.

I could theoretically meet her in 7 days now. and yes she has constantly trying to frame herself as higher value because as far as i found out she isn't exactly a beauty but shes not ugly, shes barely passable from what i know. i as far as i know literally can't date a person i don't share interests with or similar.

 

[Fluxcapacitor]

If you can meet in 7 days and she's already contacted you (first) set it up dude. That's her reward for chasing. Don't let her frame herself as higher than you, you've just said she's barely passable.... if she was super hot and you're inexperienced I could understand it but not if you view her as barely passable.

Reframe it dude. And as far as you found she isn't a beauty? Have you even seen her?

 

[William Wallace]

If you can meet in 7 days and she's already contacted you (first) set it up dude. That's her reward for chasing. Don't let her frame herself as higher than you, you've just said she's barely passable.... if she was super hot and you're inexperienced I could understand it but not if you view her as barely passable.

Reframe it dude. And as far as you found she isn't a beauty? Have you even seen her?

I'm very inexperienced. I think i've seen a photo of her face and her body her body is fine but her face is barely passable. i'm autistic to so that (sarcastic here) certainly helps the situation. She sendt a hey she haven't responded to said Heyinsert name back i guess? should i send her something after a couple of days?
i think your theory of she just being bored was true

 

[Fluxcapacitor]

Dude you think you've seen a photo of her face? I really wouldn't recommend travelling to meet someone when you're not even sure what theylook like. I highly recommend you meet girls locally.

The autism scale is quite big and although it won't help it doesn't have to be a issue. You can take a lot of positives from it and frame it to your advantage.

I personally wouldn't contact her in a couple days unless she gets back to you. If you want to reach out I'd give it a week dude.

 

[William Wallace]

Dude you think you've seen a photo of her face? I really wouldn't recommend travelling to meet someone when you're not even sure what theylook like. I highly recommend you meet girls locally.

The autism scale is quite big and although it won't help it doesn't have to be a issue. You can take a lot of positives from it and frame it to your advantage.

I personally wouldn't contact her in a couple days unless she gets back to you. If you want to reach out I'd give it a week dude.

Thanks i'm 90% sure thats her picture, she haven't seen me yet at all. uhm should i just ask her out or try and setup a video chat session or something? i'm pretty average looking not bad not good in terms of face. i know females dont' tend to care to much about looks

 

[Fluxcapacitor]

Dude usually I don't see much point in video calls unless you need it for rapport or comfort. The fact you haven't seen each other I reckon this would do both. I'm not surprised she wasn't down to meet you when she's never seen you. That's just crazy dude especially in the middle of a pandemic.

I think a video call is a must to verify what she looks like An if ya even interested in her. This will build comfort and rapport and makes meeting possible but again. Meet local girls! Meet more girls!

 

[William Wallace]

Dude usually I don't see much point in video calls unless you need it for rapport or comfort. The fact you haven't seen each other I reckon this would do both. I'm not surprised she wasn't down to meet you when she's never seen you. That's just crazy dude especially in the middle of a pandemic.

I think a video call is a must to verify what she looks like An if ya even interested in her. This will build comfort and rapport and makes meeting possible but again. Meet local girls! Meet more girls!

well now shes a Day travels away...(and like 5-6 hours if i had a bloody car) i could theoretically meet her everyday intill 7 of August.
Don't think i should open with hey wanna vid chat, ive already tried wanting to vid chat with her and said no in woman language of i don't really feel for that right now.

i'm unsure of what my opener should be at this point hey (insert name) Guess where i am now (insert meme)? is the best ive gotten to
get her on voice chat then ask to vid chat? during a high point?

 

[Fluxcapacitor]

Definitely don't open with want to video chat and unless the meme is related to where you are why would you send it after asking her to guess where you are?

You either use the bait of guess where I am but this could be creepy dude if it's unexpected and it's like I'm getting closer! It can be somewhat stalker like without the right level of comfort and rapport.

Your best bet is just a meme or picture or a typical conversation opener. Hit a high note and then video chat. Try to make it natural you want it to be organic... I'll show you, I'll give you a video call/ show me, we can video chat. If it seems organic she's more likely to comply.

Something to consider is if it's too late and she doesn't feel attractive/presentable she won't video call. Timing has to be right, chat has to be good. But this is to much effort already dude

 

[William Wallace]

Well i already told her a while a go that i'm going to her country in the summer a while ago, but i can now totally see now how this could be creepy thanks .

i'm already stuck here for a month so, but shes a objective quest don't worry.

How about just sharing photos?

you are suggesting to go from text to video chat? or from text to 'phone call' then video chat?

Thanks for all the advice you have given this Mister Robot so far, i really appreciate it .

 

[Fluxcapacitor]

Sharing a photo is cool if it's showing value. You see something really cool on your travels and you send a photo of it. Or something where you've talked about getting ice cream and you've got ice cream, send a picture and say I bet my days been better than yours. You're not expecting a reply, it's a statement, it's low effort but it baits a reply.

Text to video chat would work if you're getting quick responses, if they're taking hours you need to up the compliance and maybe a phone call is necessary. Whatever is the most natural route for your conversation. If you got to a point where she's said call me or you've said you'll call - or just call anyway if you regularly do phone calls if you don't this wouldn't be congruent - you could just jump straight to the video chat.

The issue with asking for permission is it brings logic into it. "Can I give you a video call?" I don't know if I want to. They think about it. If you just do it, then they react. She'll just answer. If she doesn't want to she won't, don't text if she doesn't she should have to justify herself to you.

If you usually text a lot, and then when the messages get complex you typically call then call. This is typical so she'll follow, then in conversation imply she's already agreed to the video chat and use the example of "I'll show you" then video call. She might question how will you show me? Either be bold up front and tease her video call? How else! Or be secretive and more on the lines of you'll see and then video call. Don't justify why, you act like that is the only choice and that picture messaging doesn't exist. This is the frame you hit it from.

Either approach works, it's what fits your typical style.

Jumping back to her first objection to a video chat of she said she didn't know if she wanted to it was an objection not a rejection. You can bypass objections, they're basically a shit test to see how you handle it. You either let it go without reacting and act like it didn't exist or you reframe the situation so she agrees with your point of view

 

[William Wallace]

Jumping back to her first objection to a video chat of she said she didn't know if she wanted to it was an objection not a rejection. You can bypass objections, they're basically a shit test to see how you handle it. You either let it go without reacting and act like it didn't exist or you reframe the situation so she agrees with your point of view

well her response was more like i don't feel like that right now, but its the same thing?

What would you recommend as first date though and this would be my actual first proper date.
this girl ive been talking to is quite young not sure if your allowed to say it here but shes 17 thinking traveling a day to meet up at a coffee place might be boring for both. thinking museums and or castles is something we both would enjoy, but if she has to travel for 4-6 hours.... i don't think thats gona ferry up to well.

also i don't have any setup way to video call her, so we would have to setup that up.
we are using an app to talk (general talking app Telegram) and she has blocked people from calling her so i would have to ask ( usually how i do it in my own language shall we voice chat? instead of do you wanna voice chat?. in the end i decided upon a meme wish me luck


also thinking about installing tinder or something just to chat?

 

[Fluxcapacitor]

Yeah that's the same thing. The flip to that is you haven't seen each other so saying she doesn't know if she feels like it could be a way of saying I feel fat and ugly and don't want to be seen right now. That was a chance to frame it that you think it's sweet she wants to impress you and look her best. It's still an objection though.

First dates is KISS - keep it simple stupid! They should also follow the 5 Cs cheap, convenient, conversation, covert, control

https://www.girlschase.com/content/what-makes-bad-first-date

If you're going to a different country for this it could be convenient for the museum or something and it becomes this is your fun life and you're inviting her to join you, you will be going anyway so if she doesn't want to or she flakes it doesn't matter. Getting her to travel 4 to 6 hours is ridiculous but if she's willing to do it she's clearly invested in you. Her age might make this difficult to travel that distance though.

There's lots of articles on setting up first dates and what's good dates I recommend you read dude.

I've never done online dating but they're good for abundance. You'll meet a lot of girls online, when it fails with one you're only a swipe away from another and it'll improve your text game as this is all you'll have to rely on to hook her. It'll be good to chat to more girls but remember online dating is a skill in itself that you'll have to get good at. If you have no intention of ever meeting any girl from it they won't keep talking to you forever there will come a point when they get bored of you.

 

[William Wallace]

Yeah that's the same thing. The flip to that is you haven't seen each other so saying she doesn't know if she feels like it could be a way of saying I feel fat and ugly and don't want to be seen right now. That was a chance to frame it that you think it's sweet she wants to impress you and look her best. It's still an objection though.

First dates is KISS - keep it simple stupid! They should also follow the 5 Cs cheap, convenient, conversation, covert, control

https://www.girlschase.com/content/what-makes-bad-first-date

If you're going to a different country for this it could be convenient for the museum or something and it becomes this is your fun life and you're inviting her to join you, you will be going anyway so if she doesn't want to or she flakes it doesn't matter. Getting her to travel 4 to 6 hours is ridiculous but if she's willing to do it she's clearly invested in you. Her age might make this difficult to travel that distance though.

There's lots of articles on setting up first dates and what's good dates I recommend you read dude.

I've never done online dating but they're good for abundance. You'll meet a lot of girls online, when it fails with one you're only a swipe away from another and it'll improve your text game as this is all you'll have to rely on to hook her. It'll be good to chat to more girls but remember online dating is a skill in itself that you'll have to get good at. If you have no intention of ever meeting any girl from it they won't keep talking to you forever there will come a point when they get bored of you.

well i saw her yesterday on war thunder(computer game) and today on steam(facebook for gamers?) think she has stopped using telegram because she wasn't really chatting with me anymore....

sadly i diden't say hey because her new weeb name in Japanese translated to the the American boyfriend nickname for her..... and weeb picture which irked me she did this in 15-20 of may
i thought at the time it was to hide from me haha but i don't think so as she could just block and remove me.

Should i just low effort Ping her? i think i'm starting to overthink i think lol

also Flux i tended to go to dates to get experience if they really interest me, but oh god good luck.

the travel distance for me to get to her is 17 hours with train.... so yeah a museum would be great worst case scenario ill be going alone there

 

[Fluxcapacitor]

@William Wallace dude! So you seen her online on the gaming equivalent of social media? That's still not seeing her. You see dudes on this forum every night but you won't know who everyone on here is either.

Her weeb picture and name was aimed to please her boyfriend and could be a polite rejection to you. You might not even be on her radar anymore, or it was designed to get a reaction. Not messaging was a great idea and she should message you.

This is a soft next, I don't know how your last conversation ended but I'd have her reach out to you dude. If you want to low effort ping after a week or two feel free it'll reset some neediness.

Dates are great experience, think of them as auditions or interviews. I'd recommend going on a couple to meet more girls so you're not so focused on this one dude.

That travel distance is ridiculous, way too much effort dude. If you're going to see the museum anyway go for you. Be able to have fun on your own dude it's a valuable skill!

 

[William Wallace]

@William Wallace dude! So you seen her online on the gaming equivalent of social media? That's still not seeing her. You see dudes on this forum every night but you won't know who everyone on here is either.

Her weeb picture and name was aimed to please her boyfriend and could be a polite rejection to you. You might not even be on her radar anymore, or it was designed to get a reaction. Not messaging was a great idea and she should message you.

This is a soft next, I don't know how your last conversation ended but I'd have her reach out to you dude. If you want to low effort ping after a week or two feel free it'll reset some neediness.

Dates are great experience, think of them as auditions or interviews. I'd recommend going on a couple to meet more girls so you're not so focused on this one dude.

That travel distance is ridiculous, way too much effort dude. If you're going to see the museum anyway go for you. Be able to have fun on your own dude it's a valuable skill!

i met her on telegram on uhm in a lets say Highly conservative chat group? and then i pm her, she talked about her interets i thought her to good to be true, and i thought she was a dude intill 1 week later after those great first 2 weeks of texting that i invited her to an RPG so bascily online date at that point which failed miserably because well logistics where fucked, but i got to hear it was actually a girl.

personally i think she was trying to get into there to 'meet real men' who aren't ¨soyboys¨ and highly doubt she was politically really interested beyond the funny memes.

ive played one computer game with and it went okay she diden't do to well so i doubt it wasen't to fun for her, i tried to be encoguarging you do a better job next time, and oh that was close about the only interaction ive had with her except 4 voice chats..... and texts.




i guess maybe the low effort ping was simply to see if i still responded in 29 of march when she sendt me one . it says she haven't viewed the message yet i guess she just saw it on the log and just swiped it away, i didn't respond immediately i waited an hour since that message actually woke me up from sleep and i did my morning routine before i responded.

ive already sendt the Meme on the phone but as i said earlier i think she stopped using telegram since i was the only one she talked to there in the end.

if i had a CAR and a license it would take 4-6 hours. checked a train to general region takes 4 hours might be a special one...

but yeah this dude has been working and i guess simping on her for a year, seeing that hes willing to travel from AMERica to europe to meet one girl. something i woulden't even do, even though i saw a girl that was interesting there.