Hi guys,
Just joined the forum, read some articles on the main site about shyness and it really struck a chord inside me. So I decide to join.
https://www.girlschase.com/content/how-not-be-shy
Very quick history, Im 31, born and raised in NYC, going back to school for a second bachelors in aerospace engineering, used to work on wall street (Morgan Stanley etc) but hated it and the people I dealt with. I've had five long term relationship and about 10 or so sex partners. I was bullied relentlessly until college because I wore a turban as part of the Sikh faith (small minority in India), however I was an agnostic atheist and was forced to wear it under threat for 17 years when I decided I'd rather live on the streets than be ostracized for looking different. Life got slightly better, parents accepted me and did a total 180 and honestly my best friends now. When I turned 25 I was diagnosed with bipolar depression from the years of bullying etc, was hospitalized for one week in a mental ward and then received 25 electro shock therapy rounds also called ECT. Honestly ECT saved my life, I probably wouldn't be here. I've kind of just floated on and off working for a year since then quitting for a year etc.
Anyways Im here today, decided to go back to school for Aerospace engineering because it truly is a passion of mine had been ever since I was a kid. Part of my mistake was giving too much of my life up for trying to get rid of my social anxiety and approach anxiety. So now at 31 I've decided that I won't let what I want to do with my life be affected by what I want to accomplish socially. That means I won't be working at night clubs, won't be working at bars, won't be a club promoter or anything like that.
So here goes, these are my goals:
1. A good group of friends that like to go out and meet women but aren't necessarily the jock alpha type quite simply I wouldn't be able to relate or fit in. Another really good article that made me understand myself was
https://www.girlschase.com/content/how-h ... bombshells
Bring brutally honest, Im the shy sensitive guy, reserved, and trying to become "alpha" would be setting an unrealistic goal and setting myself up to go against myself and I think it's better I embrace the person I am and make tweaks and focus my energy toward the target audience (women) most receptive towards that.
2. So it follows my target audience is not going to be the blond bombshell who lives and dies with trends, fashion and status. The article does a great job explaining the kind of guy that she would be looking for and I don't think I can change myself to the point of becoming what she would like. Side note: I go to the gym and lift heavy and count calories but not too be alpha but to feel better about myself. I don't see anything special about the blonde bombshell that would require so much effort just to get to to her pussy that's not anymore special than other pussy. Plus it would just be pussy because im pretty sure I wouldn't like anything she would have to say or that she'd really make a good wife either.
3. Hate bringing race into the conversation but lately especially after Trump etc, Im more aware of how being brown can impact the way people perceive you, which I don't really blame them. Even if Im American as Apple pie, (ex. best bud was Army Ranger MOS JTAC, called in the ground pounders) when some white people see me they might think invader and go back home etc. Again it wouldn't be fair to assume that of every white person (reverse racism). This means that im not going to give up, im going to looks max, work on my anxiety and take the advice I get here. However again my target audience won't be white women per say. If I happen to work up the courage to talk to any girl at a bar and if she's white I'll be more apprehensive knowing that I have a higher chance of being rejected, that which I fear most that which hurts in my body physically. Doesn't mean I will exclude white women entirely, but why try to fit a square peg through a round hole. (Lots of data on Indians and other minorities and interracial dating and response rate and lower social status... etc... Columbia University carried out a test that resulted in exactly OkCupid data.... Not the point)
Plus I don't win a special prize dating a white women over an equally attractive women of ethnic background or vice versa.
Recap:
1. Good group of friends to go to clubs bars parties
2. Not trying to be an alpha baller per say
3. Target audience won't be blonde "bombshell"
4. Target audience won't be "only white girls!!! Have to have em!!!... How??"
Now the part I need your help, crippling approach anxiety/social anxiety.
My biggest mistake is trying to bite off more than I can chew. If set myself up for failure by forcing myself to go out and approach women and id do it and get mixed results and feel bad and exhausted and my courage drained. Then I'd just sink back into my comfortable spot to recover emotionally from the draining experience and not go out again for a month.
I honestly don't have any single friends and a big reason for lack of consistently going out is not having a group of guys to go out with. There's no way in hell I'd go it alone at this point. So I need to find new people, make new friends. Again my social anxiety gets in the way.
Even things like stopping people and asking for the time let alone an attractive women my heart starts to race and I get nervous and I lose my state of emotional balance and calmness. I hate how a stranger especially an attractive woman can have that type of control over my body.
My biggest problem is that there's a child inside my body that is sitting with his legs in his arms, saying "no I just won't do it, I just won't, I don't care...I don't care" just like a little child, saying this at the thought of being rejected by a woman or a random stranger.
I need help guidance for a person with clinical level of social anxiety and shyness, a pathway to get from here where I am to at least normally relaxed.
Thanks guys and really sorry about the long post and silly spelling errors, on my phone typing at night.
Just joined the forum, read some articles on the main site about shyness and it really struck a chord inside me. So I decide to join.
https://www.girlschase.com/content/how-not-be-shy
Very quick history, Im 31, born and raised in NYC, going back to school for a second bachelors in aerospace engineering, used to work on wall street (Morgan Stanley etc) but hated it and the people I dealt with. I've had five long term relationship and about 10 or so sex partners. I was bullied relentlessly until college because I wore a turban as part of the Sikh faith (small minority in India), however I was an agnostic atheist and was forced to wear it under threat for 17 years when I decided I'd rather live on the streets than be ostracized for looking different. Life got slightly better, parents accepted me and did a total 180 and honestly my best friends now. When I turned 25 I was diagnosed with bipolar depression from the years of bullying etc, was hospitalized for one week in a mental ward and then received 25 electro shock therapy rounds also called ECT. Honestly ECT saved my life, I probably wouldn't be here. I've kind of just floated on and off working for a year since then quitting for a year etc.
Anyways Im here today, decided to go back to school for Aerospace engineering because it truly is a passion of mine had been ever since I was a kid. Part of my mistake was giving too much of my life up for trying to get rid of my social anxiety and approach anxiety. So now at 31 I've decided that I won't let what I want to do with my life be affected by what I want to accomplish socially. That means I won't be working at night clubs, won't be working at bars, won't be a club promoter or anything like that.
So here goes, these are my goals:
1. A good group of friends that like to go out and meet women but aren't necessarily the jock alpha type quite simply I wouldn't be able to relate or fit in. Another really good article that made me understand myself was
https://www.girlschase.com/content/how-h ... bombshells
Bring brutally honest, Im the shy sensitive guy, reserved, and trying to become "alpha" would be setting an unrealistic goal and setting myself up to go against myself and I think it's better I embrace the person I am and make tweaks and focus my energy toward the target audience (women) most receptive towards that.
2. So it follows my target audience is not going to be the blond bombshell who lives and dies with trends, fashion and status. The article does a great job explaining the kind of guy that she would be looking for and I don't think I can change myself to the point of becoming what she would like. Side note: I go to the gym and lift heavy and count calories but not too be alpha but to feel better about myself. I don't see anything special about the blonde bombshell that would require so much effort just to get to to her pussy that's not anymore special than other pussy. Plus it would just be pussy because im pretty sure I wouldn't like anything she would have to say or that she'd really make a good wife either.
3. Hate bringing race into the conversation but lately especially after Trump etc, Im more aware of how being brown can impact the way people perceive you, which I don't really blame them. Even if Im American as Apple pie, (ex. best bud was Army Ranger MOS JTAC, called in the ground pounders) when some white people see me they might think invader and go back home etc. Again it wouldn't be fair to assume that of every white person (reverse racism). This means that im not going to give up, im going to looks max, work on my anxiety and take the advice I get here. However again my target audience won't be white women per say. If I happen to work up the courage to talk to any girl at a bar and if she's white I'll be more apprehensive knowing that I have a higher chance of being rejected, that which I fear most that which hurts in my body physically. Doesn't mean I will exclude white women entirely, but why try to fit a square peg through a round hole. (Lots of data on Indians and other minorities and interracial dating and response rate and lower social status... etc... Columbia University carried out a test that resulted in exactly OkCupid data.... Not the point)
Plus I don't win a special prize dating a white women over an equally attractive women of ethnic background or vice versa.
Recap:
1. Good group of friends to go to clubs bars parties
2. Not trying to be an alpha baller per say
3. Target audience won't be blonde "bombshell"
4. Target audience won't be "only white girls!!! Have to have em!!!... How??"
Now the part I need your help, crippling approach anxiety/social anxiety.
My biggest mistake is trying to bite off more than I can chew. If set myself up for failure by forcing myself to go out and approach women and id do it and get mixed results and feel bad and exhausted and my courage drained. Then I'd just sink back into my comfortable spot to recover emotionally from the draining experience and not go out again for a month.
I honestly don't have any single friends and a big reason for lack of consistently going out is not having a group of guys to go out with. There's no way in hell I'd go it alone at this point. So I need to find new people, make new friends. Again my social anxiety gets in the way.
Even things like stopping people and asking for the time let alone an attractive women my heart starts to race and I get nervous and I lose my state of emotional balance and calmness. I hate how a stranger especially an attractive woman can have that type of control over my body.
My biggest problem is that there's a child inside my body that is sitting with his legs in his arms, saying "no I just won't do it, I just won't, I don't care...I don't care" just like a little child, saying this at the thought of being rejected by a woman or a random stranger.
I need help guidance for a person with clinical level of social anxiety and shyness, a pathway to get from here where I am to at least normally relaxed.
Thanks guys and really sorry about the long post and silly spelling errors, on my phone typing at night.
