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Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Jul 24, 2015
Messages
2,091
So at lunch I ran down to the local Target to get some housewares, and came across a Facebook acquaintance. She smiled warmly, said hello and greeted me with a hug. Then she asked me, nervously looking around, if I was "here with anyone?" and I replied I was running errands solo. I took this to be an IOI and invitation to talk about our mutual single status.

Her Situation: professional esthetitian who practices and teaches Yoga. About 5'10" dark hair and very well put together. Recently, (Last Year) divorced from her alcoholic firefighter husband who lives in my community, and whose family is a client of my company. My mother is one of her clients. We met about a year or two ago when we were both alone at a local tavern and she sent me a friend request on FB that night or the next morning. No face to face contact since.

She asked me "So....How are you DOING?" in that tone where people are really asking "How is the divorce going?"

So I replied that some days were better than others but we are moving along...

She responded that I seemed to be "pursuing my passions, and really doing well on Facebook" and I thanked her sincerely for that. "It's nice to hear that that is what people see"
She then confided my mother had told her some about my divorce, and then she praised my mother who still works out 5 days a week at 70 years old, and runs her own business.

She then asked me if I still went to the tavern where I last saw her and I responded I had not been there for awhile, but that I might sometime when I had time to kill waiting for my daughter to finish practice. She said she had not had a chance to stop there since she moved across town but she did have times when she was shuttling her young daughter around.

We both said in unison: "We should meet up sometime, Why don't I get your number?"

She gave me her number and we parted ways. So I texted a hello with my name, and she responded a minute after reading it "Wonderful running into you! Enjoy the rest of this beautiful day."

Now given the fact her ex is a local and his family is a company client, and that she has frequent conversations with my mother....Do you think she is a candidate for a "secret society" fuck buddy? FWB ? Or does this make me more of a BF candidate?

I think that it could also spur auto rejection with the fear that it could "get messy". Thoughts on how to proceed, and the timeline?

(This is why I went outside my local community for my LDR...)
 

Bboy100

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Jan 2, 2015
Messages
1,107
Now given the fact her ex is a local and his family is a company client, and that she has frequent conversations with my mother....Do you think she is a candidate for a "secret society" fuck buddy? FWB ? Or does this make me more of a BF candidate?
It doesn't matter. Contrary to the PUA community and GC, 30 years worth of empirical research shows that women look for 90% of the same things in a BF as they do in a one night stand. The kind of relationship you have with her is mostly dictated by what you guys want it to be. If she's looking for an LTR, you can present as many "lover" qualities as you'd like, and its still unlikely that she'll fuck you right away. The opposite is also true. Even if you present yourself as a "boyfriend", if she's just trynna fuck, she'll allow it to happen given that you make a move.

The only difference between a potential boyfriend and a potential hookup is that if the girl is looking for a hookup, she won't require as much "romantic proof" (which means time invested in her/demonstrating that you're willing to commit your resources to her). But again...that doesn't depend on what you do and the traits that you display. It only depends on what type of relationship she's looking for.

But you're right that context does matter. It's less likely that she'll be inclined to just hook up with you for fear of slut shaming. Clearly, there are a lot of people the two of you both know. So it is likely that she'll be more cautious about any type of fling or "short term mating" relationship.
 
a good date brings a smile to your lips... and hers
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