Social Circle Questions

[Zoro]

I am pretty inexperienced with social circle game, and so feel awkward gaming new girls in front of girls I've already gamed.

Right now I frequently work at a cool cafe, that brings in a lot of cool people and pretty girls.

But this is more like social circle with how many regulars there are that I know, and who know me, and girls who I will see often.

I recently got a number of a girl who also frequents the cafe, and I want to keep gaming, but part of me is holding back out of fear for some reason.

I am probably way too in my head about it, and so I could use some outside perspectives on it.

It's unfamiliar territory for me so I feel like I am thinking about it from different angles and yet don't have the experience to make conclusions that I'm satisfied with, making me be more reserved. I'd rather be taking more action.

Here's an example of something I'm thinking about: lets say I sleep with this girl. I'm more experienced at making girls my girlfriends once I sleep with them, but in this situation I think I want to keep it casual, and so I don't want to hurt her or make things awkward if she's going to be someone I see regularly, and she sees me talking to other girls. I guess the question is, how do I skillfully communicate that? I do not naturally have a player vibe, and like I said I usually either make her my girlfriend if I like her or stop seeing her if I don't. So the social circle aspect is a new factor for me.

Also if I do not naturally have a player vibe and she sees me talking with other girls, is she going to question going out on the date we set up, since a more boyfriend guy doing that is not congruent and maybe seems disrespect rather than "just how he is"? Or is that not really a factor I should worry about? Should I work on giving off the vibe that I am the kind of guy who sleeps around in a social circle to set up expectations?

Right now I care more about this cafe as a workspace than as a place to game, but it's also the best place to meet pretty girls I know about right now.

 

[Michael Chief]

I used to go about this differently, but here's what I do now.

All my friends and pretty much everyone in my social circles know that I'm a polyamorist who's always flirting around and obsessed with women. They also know that I'm a decent guy who cares about women. I'll occasionally bring new women into these social circles; sometimes they were from dates. If I meet new women that I'm interested in, they learn very quickly what I'm all about. Even if they have initial reservations, like if they see themselves as strictly monogamous, sometimes they happen to find themselves in not such a monogamous mood that night, if you know what I mean.

Managing expectations has always been a fundamental step in pickup ever since the early days. If you're talking to a woman you're interested in, talk freely about what you're all about and what you want. Make it clear from the get-go you're not looking for a committed relationship if that's not what you're looking for. Make your lifestyle sound appealing. Talk about how you think freely-flowing feminine essence is the most beautiful thing in the world, and that you have no intention of trying to capture such a free spirit into the confines of commitment. Be OK with not being able to provide what you cannot provide, and let it be known.

When I was younger and less solid in my current identity, I used some more underhanded tricks and tactics to establish and maintain a FWB frame. I would purposefully DLV while emphasizing sexualization, emphasize friendship frame while underemphasizing romantic frame, etc.