- Joined
- May 15, 2014
- Messages
- 102
I'm posting this because it seems I still don't know what the hell I'm doing.
The question is whether I should be engaging in social circle politics and instead just cold approach random people outside.
The pattern I see is this:
1) A course of some kind starts.
2) I get a lot of attention, mostly from girls; often exchanging contact or social media info. I get told I'm good looking and whatnot.
3) After a about a week I begin to get drama from (mostly) other guys - intrigue and/or direct challenges - who want to hang out with the same girls.
4) This leaves me with the choice of doing nothing (and be ostracized quickly as they come high energy and monopolize their attention) or begin chasing too.
In general I feel I'm suddenly competing just to be allowed to be an orbiter - so I tend to gradually move on.
5) This process is irregular, with petty conflicts and contradictions - like a sexual frame being thrown my way the day after my status got thrashed.
6) Eventually, the girls who were showing interest in everything I did and asking me to go to places with them three months ago, don't even make eye contact with me now (let alone compliment me). I also don't think most of these guys, who bend themselves backwards to maximize face time with these girls, are getting any sex (some, I can imagine - but not most). It seems more to be about occupying a spotlight.
So, I either do my things efficiently, quickly go for lunch (alone) after class, go to the gym, then study or go to a job interview, whatever - or stick with the group by hanging around after class (where are you guys going?) and doing activities I don't couldn't care less about (and skip a MMA class to go see some "ping pong tournament" for example).
It's like my investment merely to stay and be a part of the group grows exponentially over time.
Things seem much less extreme for everyone else.
Also, with girls being coy, it seems almost impossible to move forward without exposing myself and getting burnt.
Incidentally I asked out a girl, who used to stare at me at the gym and then we flirted over chat, to lunch; yeah, just lunch. When the day arrived, she snapped and invited my friends too and, basically, used them as a barrier to hide behind. Never spoke a word ever again.
So? What the hell am I doing? Should I just try to have sex quickly early on?
I must say, the first weekend, the terms we were on were: "it's too hot in here, take off that thing you are wearing!" " but I have nothing below" "great! that's just perfect!" *giggles histerically and punches my shoulder* - can't get that one to say hi to me now. . .
. . .and the damage control if I escalate and fail?
Maybe I should just forget about this and cold approach random chicks at the supermarket or something?
The question is whether I should be engaging in social circle politics and instead just cold approach random people outside.
The pattern I see is this:
1) A course of some kind starts.
2) I get a lot of attention, mostly from girls; often exchanging contact or social media info. I get told I'm good looking and whatnot.
3) After a about a week I begin to get drama from (mostly) other guys - intrigue and/or direct challenges - who want to hang out with the same girls.
4) This leaves me with the choice of doing nothing (and be ostracized quickly as they come high energy and monopolize their attention) or begin chasing too.
In general I feel I'm suddenly competing just to be allowed to be an orbiter - so I tend to gradually move on.
5) This process is irregular, with petty conflicts and contradictions - like a sexual frame being thrown my way the day after my status got thrashed.
6) Eventually, the girls who were showing interest in everything I did and asking me to go to places with them three months ago, don't even make eye contact with me now (let alone compliment me). I also don't think most of these guys, who bend themselves backwards to maximize face time with these girls, are getting any sex (some, I can imagine - but not most). It seems more to be about occupying a spotlight.
So, I either do my things efficiently, quickly go for lunch (alone) after class, go to the gym, then study or go to a job interview, whatever - or stick with the group by hanging around after class (where are you guys going?) and doing activities I don't couldn't care less about (and skip a MMA class to go see some "ping pong tournament" for example).
It's like my investment merely to stay and be a part of the group grows exponentially over time.
Things seem much less extreme for everyone else.
Also, with girls being coy, it seems almost impossible to move forward without exposing myself and getting burnt.
Incidentally I asked out a girl, who used to stare at me at the gym and then we flirted over chat, to lunch; yeah, just lunch. When the day arrived, she snapped and invited my friends too and, basically, used them as a barrier to hide behind. Never spoke a word ever again.
So? What the hell am I doing? Should I just try to have sex quickly early on?
I must say, the first weekend, the terms we were on were: "it's too hot in here, take off that thing you are wearing!" " but I have nothing below" "great! that's just perfect!" *giggles histerically and punches my shoulder* - can't get that one to say hi to me now. . .
. . .and the damage control if I escalate and fail?
Maybe I should just forget about this and cold approach random chicks at the supermarket or something?
