My first LR here, although I've been reading for probably a year and posted a bit.
History: I was a chump. With the same girl for a number of years, living together, and being treated like shit. Have since learned that I was being cheated on throughout (and she's got a new baby), telling all her friends about what useless garbage I was, etc. Bad sex turned to no sex, etc. Horrible situation, that was basically abusive, and turned me into a shell of a person. She was stunningly attractive and incredibly smart, and then shit got bad, and it's easy to stay in a rut when you're beaten into one. I only give this info for context.
Those days are done.
I run a club, that has mostly female members (and I kicked my ex, who started it, out). They all know my ex and, by extension, think they know me. Since this summer, I've had a couple of them outright tell me that I look a million miles better, and happier. New facial hair, put on good weight, more care with clothes, etc). One of the girls I just barely knew as we'd only chatted a few times. She's cute, great breasts (I've only prior chased tiny little things with tight asses and a-cups) and we had perhaps a little sexual tension once or twice, but then she fucked off and left the province. But she's since come back, and after club last week we were talking and I was basically digging for dirt about the shit that she thinks she knows about me, and she suggested we get a drink, so I took her out. Moderately platonic conversation, but some direct sex talk as she was asking which girls in the club I'd fuck, etc. She was sorta back with a bf but made it clear that it was just because she had a bad living situation when she moved back, and needed a place to stay, etc, but wasn't going to be a happily every after thing (she'd left him the first time too). So talking about the girls, I prefaced it with a little smirk and a "well I'm not sure if I'm being propositioned here, but" and talked about just the other girls. Anyways, the bf actually showed up to pick her up from the bar. Hilarious.
So Friday morning I get a text from her, photo, all her shit out on the lawn. Obviously shit went south, and I'm getting this text for a reason.
"Umm.... Wow. That's pretty far from "happily ever after"
I would say
Getting drunk this weekend?
Absolutely ;P you buyin?
Not tonight. Crashing a Christmas party after [club]. Could probably cause trouble with you tomorrow though.
Haha sure
You a barstar or a bottle of wine and a movie type?
Ummm..... I dance.
Sort of an answer but not quite lol. I'll take you clubbing if you want (although I dance like a white boy). Or a pub, or just throw something on Netflix with some decent wine and chat. Your call.
I vote pub or netflix.
Sounds good we'll chat tonight.
Tried to keep texting intervals appropriate, and cut it off rather than just "chitchat". Eventually she's saying that the ex stole her wallet, and she's hoping she won't get id'd, etc (bullshit, as neither of us look 19), so we arrange to do wine the next night.
Next day I follow up, confirm we're on, mock her choice in wine a little. Then this, via text:
And you have to promise no funny stuff!
I make no such promises. But I can be a perfect gentleman if you want
Perfect gentleman sounds good.
We never watch netflix. Crush a bottle of wine (and then I actually have to leave her for 5min to go get more, and have her find something on netflix which then gets paused immediately). Don't kiss her until probably an hour or 2 in, which is probably a mistake, but we're talking about sex, and she's trying to qualify as to why she's at my house and none of the other girls, etc, so we both know where everything's angling. Eventually I just grab the back of her head and pull her in for a kiss. She's kissing back harder than I expect, and looking to escalate that. Simultaneously, "we're not going to fuck tonight".
We continue talking, occasional hard making out, then I finally just decide to push, and start to escalate. She whips out my cock, takes it to the hilt ("see, no gag reflex"), and then gets a shit-eating grin on her face and stands up and says she's going to go, and she just wants me to think about that all week and then fuck her at club next week. I now have a power struggle/frame battle. Physically stop her from leaving, turning her back to me, and put my fingers in her from behind. She's dripping. Frame battle over, I win. We head upstairs, and the next few hours are crazy.
Now, when she left at like 4am, we both were very very explicit with each other "What happened does NOT leave here....". So that's fine, at least for now. And post-coital, we were clear in establishing rules (basically we're not dating, can fuck anyone else we want, but if we want to we'll just tell the other person and could cut it off. Monogomous FWB. We'll see how that works. I explicitly told her that I "broke" the last girl I did this with, who got attached even after being told "You're going to get your silly little heart broken" - this one laughed, and said if anything I'd expect this one to be reverse.
We're going to have ongoing power struggles. The sex was great. Most aggressive girl I've been with, ever. Sexually experienced (hell, we're discussing threesomes 1st time post-coital), bites, pins my hands, etc. Masturbates in front of me. I've always been passive, but it becomes self-evident that she wants hair pulling, throat fucking, etc. ; hell I spent half this remaining weekend googling "rough sex tips". I think it came off as genuine. We're both using each other - she's enjoying the fact that she was fucking a guy that all the girls were talking about ("wow, he's looking good" vs. "shit he's datable" (yes, a sign of how I was not previously)), and the longterm ex of a girl who's a friend of hers and who is a solid 9+ (magazine model, professional athlete, etc), and I outright tell her it's sexy that she was so completely warned about me and now she's got my cock down her throat. She comments that she was clearly lied to about my sexual prowess (which is probably not true; sex with the ex truly was awful. Tough to dominate a girl who's got you dominated, so it just turned to very very quick, infrequent, vanilla sex).
I couldn't come. Stayed hard throughout, but a combination of multiple bottles of wine, and nerves, She was adamant that I should and tried valiantly, but I told her to relax. She came multiple times (I laughed. She can get her self off so well it's like a "free play" for me just the way she grinds when she's on top, etc. And I made her come 2 or three times with mouth and hands as well). She insisted that I will fuck her at club next (this) week and come all over her back; I refused and said that no, you're going to drop to your knees and I'm going to come in that mouth and you'll swallow every drop, and THEN I'll fuck you again". She ate it up. I have no idea why I'm being confronted with such a clear dominating sexual frame, and then resisting it and escalating it further, but I'm a little worried about staying congruent. If she's not at club next week with a dress and no panties, I've lost the battle.
It's all fucking meta. She set all this shit in motion and thinks she was leading me along. I watched her do it each step. And then I push boundaries.
Thoughts? Advice? I'm pretty sure I'm in well over my head here and just thrashing valiantly.
History: I was a chump. With the same girl for a number of years, living together, and being treated like shit. Have since learned that I was being cheated on throughout (and she's got a new baby), telling all her friends about what useless garbage I was, etc. Bad sex turned to no sex, etc. Horrible situation, that was basically abusive, and turned me into a shell of a person. She was stunningly attractive and incredibly smart, and then shit got bad, and it's easy to stay in a rut when you're beaten into one. I only give this info for context.
Those days are done.
I run a club, that has mostly female members (and I kicked my ex, who started it, out). They all know my ex and, by extension, think they know me. Since this summer, I've had a couple of them outright tell me that I look a million miles better, and happier. New facial hair, put on good weight, more care with clothes, etc). One of the girls I just barely knew as we'd only chatted a few times. She's cute, great breasts (I've only prior chased tiny little things with tight asses and a-cups) and we had perhaps a little sexual tension once or twice, but then she fucked off and left the province. But she's since come back, and after club last week we were talking and I was basically digging for dirt about the shit that she thinks she knows about me, and she suggested we get a drink, so I took her out. Moderately platonic conversation, but some direct sex talk as she was asking which girls in the club I'd fuck, etc. She was sorta back with a bf but made it clear that it was just because she had a bad living situation when she moved back, and needed a place to stay, etc, but wasn't going to be a happily every after thing (she'd left him the first time too). So talking about the girls, I prefaced it with a little smirk and a "well I'm not sure if I'm being propositioned here, but" and talked about just the other girls. Anyways, the bf actually showed up to pick her up from the bar. Hilarious.
So Friday morning I get a text from her, photo, all her shit out on the lawn. Obviously shit went south, and I'm getting this text for a reason.
"Umm.... Wow. That's pretty far from "happily ever after"
I would say
Getting drunk this weekend?
Absolutely ;P you buyin?
Not tonight. Crashing a Christmas party after [club]. Could probably cause trouble with you tomorrow though.
Haha sure
You a barstar or a bottle of wine and a movie type?
Ummm..... I dance.
Sort of an answer but not quite lol. I'll take you clubbing if you want (although I dance like a white boy). Or a pub, or just throw something on Netflix with some decent wine and chat. Your call.
I vote pub or netflix.
Sounds good we'll chat tonight.
Tried to keep texting intervals appropriate, and cut it off rather than just "chitchat". Eventually she's saying that the ex stole her wallet, and she's hoping she won't get id'd, etc (bullshit, as neither of us look 19), so we arrange to do wine the next night.
Next day I follow up, confirm we're on, mock her choice in wine a little. Then this, via text:
And you have to promise no funny stuff!
I make no such promises. But I can be a perfect gentleman if you want
Perfect gentleman sounds good.
We never watch netflix. Crush a bottle of wine (and then I actually have to leave her for 5min to go get more, and have her find something on netflix which then gets paused immediately). Don't kiss her until probably an hour or 2 in, which is probably a mistake, but we're talking about sex, and she's trying to qualify as to why she's at my house and none of the other girls, etc, so we both know where everything's angling. Eventually I just grab the back of her head and pull her in for a kiss. She's kissing back harder than I expect, and looking to escalate that. Simultaneously, "we're not going to fuck tonight".
We continue talking, occasional hard making out, then I finally just decide to push, and start to escalate. She whips out my cock, takes it to the hilt ("see, no gag reflex"), and then gets a shit-eating grin on her face and stands up and says she's going to go, and she just wants me to think about that all week and then fuck her at club next week. I now have a power struggle/frame battle. Physically stop her from leaving, turning her back to me, and put my fingers in her from behind. She's dripping. Frame battle over, I win. We head upstairs, and the next few hours are crazy.
Now, when she left at like 4am, we both were very very explicit with each other "What happened does NOT leave here....". So that's fine, at least for now. And post-coital, we were clear in establishing rules (basically we're not dating, can fuck anyone else we want, but if we want to we'll just tell the other person and could cut it off. Monogomous FWB. We'll see how that works. I explicitly told her that I "broke" the last girl I did this with, who got attached even after being told "You're going to get your silly little heart broken" - this one laughed, and said if anything I'd expect this one to be reverse.
We're going to have ongoing power struggles. The sex was great. Most aggressive girl I've been with, ever. Sexually experienced (hell, we're discussing threesomes 1st time post-coital), bites, pins my hands, etc. Masturbates in front of me. I've always been passive, but it becomes self-evident that she wants hair pulling, throat fucking, etc. ; hell I spent half this remaining weekend googling "rough sex tips". I think it came off as genuine. We're both using each other - she's enjoying the fact that she was fucking a guy that all the girls were talking about ("wow, he's looking good" vs. "shit he's datable" (yes, a sign of how I was not previously)), and the longterm ex of a girl who's a friend of hers and who is a solid 9+ (magazine model, professional athlete, etc), and I outright tell her it's sexy that she was so completely warned about me and now she's got my cock down her throat. She comments that she was clearly lied to about my sexual prowess (which is probably not true; sex with the ex truly was awful. Tough to dominate a girl who's got you dominated, so it just turned to very very quick, infrequent, vanilla sex).
I couldn't come. Stayed hard throughout, but a combination of multiple bottles of wine, and nerves, She was adamant that I should and tried valiantly, but I told her to relax. She came multiple times (I laughed. She can get her self off so well it's like a "free play" for me just the way she grinds when she's on top, etc. And I made her come 2 or three times with mouth and hands as well). She insisted that I will fuck her at club next (this) week and come all over her back; I refused and said that no, you're going to drop to your knees and I'm going to come in that mouth and you'll swallow every drop, and THEN I'll fuck you again". She ate it up. I have no idea why I'm being confronted with such a clear dominating sexual frame, and then resisting it and escalating it further, but I'm a little worried about staying congruent. If she's not at club next week with a dress and no panties, I've lost the battle.
It's all fucking meta. She set all this shit in motion and thinks she was leading me along. I watched her do it each step. And then I push boundaries.
Thoughts? Advice? I'm pretty sure I'm in well over my head here and just thrashing valiantly.
