Social media question, social circle

[DarkKnight]

Guys I have a question about something that has confused me for some time. Things used to be much simpler back in the day when we used windows messenger (those were the days, I picked up a lot of girls, hot ones from internet boards and chat, to messenger and than transition to real life). This is just before facebook really took off, golden era if you ask me for online game.

Anyway nowadays with the tenthousand apps and generational shifts I get confused when live transitions to online and back

Perhaps I am coming at this wrong, for instance girls I meet from social or semi social circles who approach me, deep dive me , tell me their life stories but then dont follow me back or even unfollow me, reply dryly so I assume okay this connection is a dud ONLY for them to pursue me with fervor or get upset when I talk to other girls when they see me again

I do realize there is some common ground here with chases articles with running into girls who ghosted you, women are changeable and it is kind of similar, but the girls I mention here are girls who I met through social circle. Not even girls I am gaming. Yesterday I encountered another one who I had met some time ago (I am not really attracted to her). I didnt even recognize her at first but she re introduced herself to me and then stuck around for 20 minutes. She was one of those type of girls

Especially when I see them follow other people back from the same social circle it comes across as a snub, but then I dont get why they try to close the gap when they see me.

Big disclaimer by the way. This is not a continous occurance, this is the minority not the majority. But it always feels like a curveball when I see these people again because for all intents and purposes a lack of interest or connection was shown.

I think bottomline of what confuses me is this:

Dont these type of girls understand that their behavior online is spilling over unto real life, am I dealing with entitlement or ignorance? The last 2 times this happened to me (again I meet a lot of girls, this is not the majority), both girls were really genuine with their warmth when they saw me.

I don't get it. This puzzles me. If anyone can explain the psychology it would be nice.

OR the new generation doesnt see online contacts as real contacts and way less seriously than I do thinking nothing online matters, and I need to catch up with my old timer mindset

With pure cold approach I am easier with this because I know the girl can assume we will just never meet again, so that makes sense. Social circle or semi social circle girls make less sense to me because we all know we will see eachother again

So yeah I am a bit baffled at the psychology of this. And again I am not even necessarily gaming these girls. I tend to use social media as just that, a social network

 

[rockstar]

I don't think things like this are worth worrying about. Some girls will follow you even if they don't know you. Some girls like having 20k followers, 32 following for whatever reason.


Usually this means they don't see enough value in you or got butthurt by something you posted (like a story partying with hot girls). Or they just keep their following small. I wouldn't overthink things, just be cool. Social media isn't real life

 

[DarkKnight]

Or they just keep their following small. I wouldn't overthink things, just be cool. Social media isn't real life

Hi rockstar thanks for chiming in. Yeah kind of feels like I am overthinking it a bit simply because I do not understand it. I get it isnt real life but doesnt it telegraph like anything at all?

I have always had a bit of difficulty with translating online behavior to real life behavior but seems like these new generation of apps have made it a bit more complicated with people trying to collect followers and minimizing following people while I am stuck at 2009 facebook .

Perhaps these apps are in their current incarnation are not even fit to be social networks as they were back in the day and I need to stop viewing it as such but rather a social ladder climbing arena

 

[ulrich]

I think that a minority of women are just so sick and tired of social media as most men are.

Are these girls really active in their profiles?

I dated a couple of girls who would not give me the time of day in social media nor SMS but, if I pushed and asked directly for a date, they would say yes and go out with me and be amazing in person.

 

[Spyce D]

social networks

They are "social" MEDIA now ... No longer its about just connecting .

 

[POB]

I think social media is the death of seduction.
Even apps are a little better.

@ulrich is right, just ask them out and persist untill the say yes (or completely ignore you)
Trying to game them there is un uphill battle for sure

 

[Skills]

Something doesn't add up maybe your social media doesn't line up with your real life persona... I would have someone good at social media take a look for a perspective on your social media something is off ..

 

[rockstar]

Hi rockstar thanks for chiming in. Yeah kind of feels like I am overthinking it a bit simply because I do not understand it. I get it isnt real life but doesnt it telegraph like anything at all?

It does. It usually means she doesn't see enough value in you or relevance to her life to follow you. But for these social circle situations, you're going to have more opportunities to see her and build things up with her. And you shouldn't let these tiny, possibly negative things affect you. It's just not important and not worth it. It's like a cold approach - it doesn't always work out perfectly, but you move on.

I have always had a bit of difficulty with translating online behavior to real life behavior but seems like these new generation of apps have made it a bit more complicated with people trying to collect followers and minimizing following people while I am stuck at 2009 facebook .

Most people don't use social media like this. (the minimizing following part at least, lots of young girls do like collecting followers, but many don't care about this either).

Perhaps these apps are in their current incarnation are not even fit to be social networks as they were back in the day and I need to stop viewing it as such but rather a social ladder climbing arena

Again, not everyone uses social media like this. It's important to be aware of the status dynamics, but it seems like you are drawn towards being cynical about social media. Might be worth asking yourself why.

I think social media is the death of seduction.
Even apps are a little better.

They mostly do different things. Apps are a lead source. Social media is best as a middle-of-funnel place to work leads. Social media has been a really effective tool for me for game/seduction.

Something doesn't add up maybe your social media doesn't line up with your real life persona... I would have someone good at social media take a look for a perspective on your social media something is off ..

Possible if his ig seems really incongruent, or has weird stuff that will turn people off and betray low value. But I don't think most people will have this problem. If you have mostly normal/ordinary socials, a girl is going to form her opinion of you based on your real-life interactions.

 

[DarkKnight]

@rockstar

Hey man I hear you and all valuable input, thank you.

Possible if his ig seems really incongruent, or has weird stuff that will turn people off and betray low value. But I don't think most people will have this problem. If you have mostly normal/ordinary socials, a girl is going to form her opinion of you based on your real-life interactions

Disclaimer here, I am.doing nothing weird, most of my following is very stable or the people around me and I have big social circles. Just to clear it up before this becomes a thing

 

[DarkKnight]

It does. It usually means she doesn't see enough value in you or relevance to her life to follow you. But for these social circle situations, you're going to have more opportunities to see her and build things up with her. And you shouldn't let these tiny, possibly negative things affect you. It's just not important and not worth it. It's like a cold approach - it doesn't always work out perfectly, but you move on.

Yeah I definitely have put too much stock on the predictive powers of these media only to be baffled when they are on me like bees on honey when they see me. It never computed. But your posts are helping me to understand

 

[POB]

They mostly do different things. Apps are a lead source. Social media is best as a middle-of-funnel place to work leads. Social media has been a really effective tool for me for game/seduction.

Agreed.
Even so, unless your sm accounts are really booming, it will be an uphill battle

 

[DarkKnight]

You know guys... the answer is for me already answered in hindsight, Rockstars comment about value and also relevance, even if you are valuable if you are not directly relevant (yet) this also can negate your value. It all makes sense now,

 

[Witcher]

@DarkKnight

I had a similar experience too. I found a way to better use it actually rather than fight it !

Consider the negative behavior you described as the norm for women on social media unless she is not a friend or good acquaintance or chatting for business.

This means, If a girl is behaving very politely with you on social and DM. Here I mean she text back on time, text first, her messages are not low effort and is an active participant, apologizes for leaving you on seen if she does, or apologizes for late reply.

This can be your ULTIMATE IOI, the girl is saying "I am interested in you", ask me out, ask me out now!" She can be also just an attention seeker, but asking out and you will know.

I initially didn't think that and thought the girl to be just well-behaved, but I was wrong. I realized this after 2 instances with many girls:

1- A girl who used to behave well suddenly switched to "bad behavior you described" either after some time had passed and I didn't ask her out, or made a turnoff mistake during texting or the date didn't click. The girl completely changes her communication style and even the most agreeable ones will now speak to you like an HR department.

2-Girls who were having "bad behavior you described" suddenly switch to "Well behaved manner" after they discover something about me, play my texting game well and get her attracted, or we meet in real life like in an event and she likes me, she is looking for a boyfriend and you are a candidate.