Social Proof to Keep Dead Phone Numbers ?

[Jack Swave]

I've been going on lots of dates and forcing myself to approach 5 new girls daily .Most girls don't give me a second date. I think my fundamentals need more work. For the girls I no longer go out with should I delete their numbers? I met a guy who is a club bartender and he tells me not to delete numbers even if I haven't spoken to a girl in months or years because I might run into her in the future. He also said deleting a girls number communicates to her I'm butt hurt and that it was a good decision to stop talking to me.

I know some guys keep lots of numbers as some social proof thing . If their bros want a girl number he can give them 100 numbers. Is this abundance ? Even though the girls don't talk to him?

When I keep numbers and the girls dropped me like a hot potato I actually feel horrible going through my contacts and seeingtthem. It reminds me of every mistake I made and how each girl dropped me. How can I keep phone numbers without feeling this way? I'd like to send out a reconnecting text a year later to each girl but seeing them not talking to me hurts a lot.

 

[Sophisticated Gent]

Bubinile,

Write about some of your dates in the field reports so the guys can help you will the issues. The more details the more we can help.

I don't agree with the bartender on the numbers. How is she going to know you deleted her number from your phone?

Your buddies keep numbers to pass them along to their friends is useless. What girl is going to meet with you if you call her and say my friend Jack gave me your number. Especially if she is not talking to Jack. The quantity of phone numbers you have is not abundance. Your friend think it is bragging rights. I think the number of lay reports you have is bragging rights. The only reason I see for keeping a girls number is for social value where she might have something she can do for you or get for you. Once it is over between you it is time to move on and not live in the past. Delete or keeping the numbers doesn't matter. Moving forward does. Do as you wish.

BDSC

 

[Jack Swave]

Yeah I'll post some field reports. The guys around me will say " I have 5000 girls in my phone ". What I need to ask them is how many of those girls initiate conversation with them or still will meet them.

Just by hearing that a guy has so much numbers it sounds impressive to brag on. Some claim even though they don't talk to these girls they feel full of options even if those girls don't remember them.

I dunno. You say keep numbers if there is a possibility I'll get something from these girls . It's possible. I've dated 2 models who are quite popular. Suppose a party is coming up and tickets are sold out and I could ask them to get me VIP .

I know I shouldn't be relying on girls for stuff, yet every girl I meet has something I want. It's difficult to know who I may never need again thus by deleting the number I'm shooting myself. When I get better ,really high status I think it would be cool to get back into contact with these girls. Thoughts? Thanks

 

[HellAtlantic]

I know I shouldn't be relying on girls for stuff, yet every girl I meet has something I want.

That something is called a "vagina".

 

[Jack Swave]

I know I shouldn't be relying on girls for stuff, yet every girl I meet has something I want.

That something is called a "vagina".

Loool good one. There is more I want than their vagina .Look at models for instance : status ,preselection, popularity. All stuff I can gain faster by being around such girls

 

[HellAtlantic]

I know I shouldn't be relying on girls for stuff, yet every girl I meet has something I want.

That something is called a "vagina".

Loool good one. There is more I want than their vagina .Look at models for instance : status ,preselection, popularity. All stuff I can gain faster by being around such girls

What do they gain by being around you?

Radeng

I love that question. You read so much on here or any other PUA site about nexting a girl at the first sign of issues and nexting them if they aren't providing value to you - but what are you as a guy giving them? What value do you provide them that they can't get from some other person. These are rhetorical questions mind you. But I definitely keep that question in mind throughout every single interaction with a female. "how is this girl being benefited by talking to you or being around you?". But excellent question radeng.

 

[Jack Swave]

Ahh to be honest I don't know. I guess I'm a good guy. I went to school, got good grades, I have good fashion and looks . I was a athlete in high school even though I was cut from the team for not being fast enough. But I tried. I'm ambitious and want to be a top seducer and a bartender in a big popular club . I don't have a car or house . I live with parents and currently don't have a job .

But I'm a good guy. So I think I'm high value enough .

 

[Jack Swave]

I still don't know what I did wrong. I go on a date with these girls and afterwards they don't contact me. I really do try on dates. What I want to know now is if I can't get those girls I messed up with, how do I move on? I find myself stalking their whatsapp profile and facebook. Even if I delete their number I find some way to view their social media. It's crippling .They don't care about me so why should I care. I want that attitude to walk away from a girl the moment she starts ignoring my texts and calls , anything. Any tips guys. I want to develop a I don't care attitude .

 

[HellAtlantic]

Maybe develop a higher sense of worth? What I mean is you take on more of a "well it's their loss" mindset. A lot of times girls think they have the upper hand because they have a vagina which is what every guy is after and most chicks have on average 4 guys who are chasing them (I forgot where I got that statistic from but someone from here posted it). But the truth is if you have a lot of value to bring to a girl and they ignore you it truly is their loss. You outlined all of your positive traits in a previous post - that's good. Sounds like you're a catch. So if a girl is ignoring you then you thank her for not wasting any more of your precious time - you're high value, remember, so your time really is precious as is your attention - and you save it for the next chick you meet. This is what I was talking about when I said "what value do you bring to the girl?". Develop/increase your value when you can, have something that you bring to the table and it's the girl who'll be missing out, not you. This is where my confidence comes from - when I approach a girl at nite game I know for a fact I'm a good looking guy who is excellent at deep diving and conversation and I increase a girls social value and status by letting her be seen talking to me. That's what I bring to the table. If the girl I'm talking to doesn't appreciate that then there's tons more who will. This ties into the abundance mentality that PU drills into everyone's head. There are *a lot* of girls out there, weed out the ones who don't appreciate your value and focus on the ones who are excited about what you have to offer. Sounds like you're a young good looking athletic guy - trust me those are valuable traits and there's more girls who are attracted to that than not. The fact that you still "stalk" these girls via social media is just a product of the times, you do it because you can. 20 years ago before all this social media it would've been real easy for you to move on and forget these girls. You look them up because it's so easy to. Don't sweat it.

 

[Estate]

Bubinile,

You're going to get varied responses on that.

Certain schools of pickup (and generally most guys who don't get numbers on the regular) will keep girls numbers FOREVER. The results are generally a lot of drunk texts.
Conversion rate? Well... I would think pretty low. She wasn't interested in you, so why keep her number? If/When you do text, it'll come off very needy and low status. She's probably met 100 guys since you, yet you're still hung up on her? Talk about a power trip for her!

If she's druk/lonely/just broke p with someone/horny... who knows, you're timing might pay off.

I know certian schools of pickup REALLY insist n keeping any and all numbers and periodically mass texting. Yeah, if you do that, once in a while, something will stick to the wall.

Personally I'm not a fan of it. My mentality these days is to just NOT get hung up on women. If she flakes/fades/whatever... well, she just missed a pretty great oppertunity in my opinion. (I know that sounds big headed but to be honest, if you're not a little over-confident in yourself, who will be? You've got to have just a LITTLE of that to keep your mood and vibe on point.)

If a number is dead. I'm deleting it and getting new numbers. End of story.

Something which might be interesting though. I had this exact conversation with a female friend 2 weeks ago. She was talking about guys she's met in bars and how she has a pretty strict 2 week rule. If they swap numbers and nothing materializes in 2 weeks... his number is out of her phone. End of story.
See, its all about abundance. This is a pretty girl who gets some attention from guys. If a guy doesn't get her out in that timeframe, he's in auto-reject basically and she's on to the next.

Maybe not every girl operates this way. But I suspect a lot of quality girls will. They are in demand and see no value in ever needing to go back on old numbers because of some sort of shortage.
That is exactly the position you want to be in yourself. Abundance. Delete and move on. Maybe a little harsh and cold. But in the long run I think it's best for guys. Get used to getting new numbers. If a girl passed up her oppertunity with you, it's her loss, why give her a 2nd chance when a better girl could be right around the corner.

 

[Jack Swave]

Thanks guys. This is a lot to think about I can't even write in great lengths about. I've managed to delete some numbers yet I never managed to delete the SMS or whatsapp chat which means I'd still be stuck thinking of them . I think the only way I'll get over these girls is to give a trusted friend and tell him to delete the chat messages and her number so I have no trace of it . And even so I'd probably write down the numbers before.

With no abundance on my part how can I muster up the courage to click delete? I've tried it so much times . The closest I've come is leaving one SMS behind in case. I always feel like I'm losing someone great if I delete her. I always care even though she doesn't care. I'd sit up at night's and re read the texts she sent me, it always feels special and silly to do yet I still do. Even a " hi " text from these girls I value so much I'll over think if that hi was said with a sweet voice or neutral . If I get a long SMS I'll triple analyze it especially compliments and " yes's " to dates . I know it sounds silly and it's the worst feeling a man can have . Placing every fucking thing these girls do for me on a pedestal royally and placing myself at their feet . Horrible feeling. Note this usually happens for girls I took on dates . The girls I never met after grabbing their number I don't develop that feeling.

 

[Sophisticated Gent]

Bubinile,

Again post some field reports with details. Your issues are a lack of abundance. Once you have several women interested in you at a time these issues go away.

BDSC

 

[Estate]

Thanks guys. This is a lot to think about I can't even write in great lengths about. I've managed to delete some numbers yet I never managed to delete the SMS or whatsapp chat which means I'd still be stuck thinking of them . I think the only way I'll get over these girls is to give a trusted friend and tell him to delete the chat messages and her number so I have no trace of it . And even so I'd probably write down the numbers before.

With no abundance on my part how can I muster up the courage to click delete? I've tried it so much times . The closest I've come is leaving one SMS behind in case. I always feel like I'm losing someone great if I delete her. I always care even though she doesn't care. I'd sit up at night's and re read the texts she sent me, it always feels special and silly to do yet I still do. Even a " hi " text from these girls I value so much I'll over think if that hi was said with a sweet voice or neutral . If I get a long SMS I'll triple analyze it especially compliments and " yes's " to dates . I know it sounds silly and it's the worst feeling a man can have . Placing every fucking thing these girls do for me on a pedestal royally and placing myself at their feet . Horrible feeling. Note this usually happens for girls I took on dates . The girls I never met after grabbing their number I don't develop that feeling.

Because if the number is dead... what difference does it make? Why keep it?
It won't increase your chances by being a needy guy periodically texting her when she's not interested. If anything it'll make this worse.