- Joined
- Jan 5, 2014
- Messages
- 3,353
As I have shared with many people, I was never one of the "cool kids" growing up in high school or college. No fun vacations with hot girls, no fun spring breaks, not being called to formals, not being invited to date night events by sororities, not partying with the star athlete on the school team or the frat boys, and my college years for the most part were a lonely time in my life. At this point, I might be OCD about this topic but I think that I made a new discovery too, maybe, and I eventually want to tackle how to handle this demon I am fighting.
I think it is safe to say that a decent number of players, playboys, PUAs, and guys who became good with women overtime were not in the popular crowd in high school or the "big man on campus". While I don't consider myself to be an elite by any stretch of the imagination, I think that what I went through in my college days is what some elite guys went through as well. Not being a part of the popular crowd, not being one of the cool kids, not going to events with good looking sorority sisters, and not being in the college "in crowd".
It kinda fucks with your psychology as a guy when you see your fellow guys getting all of the fun and action that you wish you were getting.
On one hand, I think that some good can come from it. I notice that I have a "drive" and that desire to never be in that miserable lonely place again is what has led me to Girlschase and kept me here. Even though I've gotten a lot better with women, I feel like my issue is a lot deeper than that. I wasn't only terrible with girls growing up, I was also a social outcast. The kid no one wanted to invite to their fun parties and the college kid that a lot of the guys in the college "in crowd" wanted nothing to do with. A guy that other guys felt pity for rather than having an ounce of respect for. I feel like a lot of that has given me the drive to want to succeed in the game and I do get hot girls now.
I also feel like a lot of PUAs, dating coaches, and guys who started getting really good with women at a later age had that drive. I already see the popular guys I knew growing up getting married before they are even 25, they already had enough of the game.
The issue is with the demons that come with it.
High school and college are a time in life, it is when you are:
1. Surrounded by people around your own age
2. Surrounded by people who are going through the same things in life as you
3. Surrounded by people you will have to see on a daily basis
Now when that happens, the forming of social hierarchies is natural. As in an animal kingdom, the males at the top of the social hierarchy will be the first ones to "feast". When I say "feast" in this situation, I mean getting all of the benefits that come with being a high status guy. Invites to nice parties, friendships with other high status guys, sex/relationships with hot girls that won't get with lower status guys, and that feeling of knowing that you are on the upper half of the hierarchy and above most men.
Then look at the guys NOT on the top of the hierarchy. For some of these guys, it doesn't just mean that hot girls are rejecting and even treating you like absolute trash, it means more than that. You are less respected among your peers in general, other guys do not respect you as much because you're not on top, most things said about you are largely negative, you don't get invited to the exclusive parties, and you know in your head that whatever good things that a university has to offer in terms of social life, you're not getting them.
As Trump would say, you're a loser!
So even if you get good with women, that is only a part in fixing the issue.
The issue wasn't just that you were horrible with women, the issue was that you were seen as a guy of low status, a peasant. Hot girls not liking you was only one side effect, other side effects included popular guys not wanting a thing to do with you, your fellow peers not taking you seriously, and even older people looking at the situation and feeling sorry for you.
You've only made a step in recovery by being good with women.
I think the issue is not just about being good with women, it is about being "the man" or being popular. Being above other guys, the king of the jungle, the emperor of the land, the Silverback, and the alpha male. Being good with women is a partial step to recovery, but the demon is not gone completely and the exorcism is not complete.
You want to address that issue of not just being good with women, but earning the respect and validation that you didn't get in your younger days. Being the guy other guys want to be, the one higher value guys extend their hand out to for party invites, and the exclusiveness of your lifestyle. Knowing that the party you're enjoying and getting called to is the one that the slimeball who acted like he was above you in college would never be invited to. The feeling of knowing that the lifestyle you have, the respect you have earned, your status, and your situation in life is one that many other men hunger for.
The feeling of knowing that you are above certain men in a given situation and they are below you. I know I sound cruel saying this but in high school and college, this was the norm and this is how it was.
Just "growing up", "getting over it", and moving are not enough. You will still feel that burn inside of you for not being one of the cool kids.
I feel like so many PUAs only get it partially right.
They may sleep with a lot of girls and get laid a lot but they are only fixing PART of the situation. They didn't get laid earlier in life so they are simply making up for lost time.
Instead, it should be about fixing most of the issues that being a social reject in the past caused. It obviously stopped you from getting hot girls but it also stopped you from having cool friends, being popular, being invited to cool parties, and going to do fun things with a small group of people.
It is about hitting on all cylinders and winning in that regard. You only fixed part of the problem by being good with women, now you need to fix other parts. It is about earning respect, validation, and most importantly, that feeling of exclusiveness. Knowing that the lifestyle you live is reserved for certain amounts of people and most others will not get it. From exclusiveness comes that feeling of superiority that the cool kids had in high school and college.
It is about belonging to an exclusive higher status crowd that normally won't take most people. It is about that feeling of you and your exclusive amazing community of people just as successful and higher status like you. Smile, enjoy, and love life because you and the community you're in are head and shoulders above most. That is what the cool kids in high school and college felt, that feeling of exclusiveness and superiority, it is about fixing that part of the psyche.
As for how?
I am working on it! Trying to build up a large following on my social media accounts and making friends while I am at it. Hoping to find other exclusive clubs or post grad fraternities perhaps that I can belong to while sleeping with different women along the way.
I think it is safe to say that a decent number of players, playboys, PUAs, and guys who became good with women overtime were not in the popular crowd in high school or the "big man on campus". While I don't consider myself to be an elite by any stretch of the imagination, I think that what I went through in my college days is what some elite guys went through as well. Not being a part of the popular crowd, not being one of the cool kids, not going to events with good looking sorority sisters, and not being in the college "in crowd".
It kinda fucks with your psychology as a guy when you see your fellow guys getting all of the fun and action that you wish you were getting.
On one hand, I think that some good can come from it. I notice that I have a "drive" and that desire to never be in that miserable lonely place again is what has led me to Girlschase and kept me here. Even though I've gotten a lot better with women, I feel like my issue is a lot deeper than that. I wasn't only terrible with girls growing up, I was also a social outcast. The kid no one wanted to invite to their fun parties and the college kid that a lot of the guys in the college "in crowd" wanted nothing to do with. A guy that other guys felt pity for rather than having an ounce of respect for. I feel like a lot of that has given me the drive to want to succeed in the game and I do get hot girls now.
I also feel like a lot of PUAs, dating coaches, and guys who started getting really good with women at a later age had that drive. I already see the popular guys I knew growing up getting married before they are even 25, they already had enough of the game.
The issue is with the demons that come with it.
High school and college are a time in life, it is when you are:
1. Surrounded by people around your own age
2. Surrounded by people who are going through the same things in life as you
3. Surrounded by people you will have to see on a daily basis
Now when that happens, the forming of social hierarchies is natural. As in an animal kingdom, the males at the top of the social hierarchy will be the first ones to "feast". When I say "feast" in this situation, I mean getting all of the benefits that come with being a high status guy. Invites to nice parties, friendships with other high status guys, sex/relationships with hot girls that won't get with lower status guys, and that feeling of knowing that you are on the upper half of the hierarchy and above most men.
Then look at the guys NOT on the top of the hierarchy. For some of these guys, it doesn't just mean that hot girls are rejecting and even treating you like absolute trash, it means more than that. You are less respected among your peers in general, other guys do not respect you as much because you're not on top, most things said about you are largely negative, you don't get invited to the exclusive parties, and you know in your head that whatever good things that a university has to offer in terms of social life, you're not getting them.
As Trump would say, you're a loser!
So even if you get good with women, that is only a part in fixing the issue.
The issue wasn't just that you were horrible with women, the issue was that you were seen as a guy of low status, a peasant. Hot girls not liking you was only one side effect, other side effects included popular guys not wanting a thing to do with you, your fellow peers not taking you seriously, and even older people looking at the situation and feeling sorry for you.
You've only made a step in recovery by being good with women.
I think the issue is not just about being good with women, it is about being "the man" or being popular. Being above other guys, the king of the jungle, the emperor of the land, the Silverback, and the alpha male. Being good with women is a partial step to recovery, but the demon is not gone completely and the exorcism is not complete.
You want to address that issue of not just being good with women, but earning the respect and validation that you didn't get in your younger days. Being the guy other guys want to be, the one higher value guys extend their hand out to for party invites, and the exclusiveness of your lifestyle. Knowing that the party you're enjoying and getting called to is the one that the slimeball who acted like he was above you in college would never be invited to. The feeling of knowing that the lifestyle you have, the respect you have earned, your status, and your situation in life is one that many other men hunger for.
The feeling of knowing that you are above certain men in a given situation and they are below you. I know I sound cruel saying this but in high school and college, this was the norm and this is how it was.
Just "growing up", "getting over it", and moving are not enough. You will still feel that burn inside of you for not being one of the cool kids.
I feel like so many PUAs only get it partially right.
They may sleep with a lot of girls and get laid a lot but they are only fixing PART of the situation. They didn't get laid earlier in life so they are simply making up for lost time.
Instead, it should be about fixing most of the issues that being a social reject in the past caused. It obviously stopped you from getting hot girls but it also stopped you from having cool friends, being popular, being invited to cool parties, and going to do fun things with a small group of people.
It is about hitting on all cylinders and winning in that regard. You only fixed part of the problem by being good with women, now you need to fix other parts. It is about earning respect, validation, and most importantly, that feeling of exclusiveness. Knowing that the lifestyle you live is reserved for certain amounts of people and most others will not get it. From exclusiveness comes that feeling of superiority that the cool kids had in high school and college.
It is about belonging to an exclusive higher status crowd that normally won't take most people. It is about that feeling of you and your exclusive amazing community of people just as successful and higher status like you. Smile, enjoy, and love life because you and the community you're in are head and shoulders above most. That is what the cool kids in high school and college felt, that feeling of exclusiveness and superiority, it is about fixing that part of the psyche.
As for how?
I am working on it! Trying to build up a large following on my social media accounts and making friends while I am at it. Hoping to find other exclusive clubs or post grad fraternities perhaps that I can belong to while sleeping with different women along the way.
