Soft voice problem in loud environment

[Aquila]

Hi all,

I have a problem with having a deep, commanding voice whenever I find myself in semi-loud environment. I'm not talking about night clubs, I'm talking about more like social gathering, dinner places etc.

When I'm alone with a girl and the surrounding is quiet, I can usually speak with this deep, sensual voice that rarely fail to let me arouse them, and I know that the girls love it.

However, when I'm out with friends, or find myself in a group conversation in a semi-loud environment (such as a restaurant), I have a lot of difficulty projecting this deep voice, and often find myself getting drown out in conversation often by guys with louder voice, and have in many instances lost the attention of the girls initially attracted to me.

Now I don't have naturally deep voice, but I find that I can project it when I'm in a very confident state, though less loud/clear when the surrounding is noisy. I am beginning to think that there is a mental aspect to this as well.

Anybody else has this problem? And if not, any advice on how to make myself more easily heard during group conversation?

 

[uForia]

I'm interested in this as well. One person told me to whisper in her ear instead of yelling or shouting, but even that doesn't seem very fluid. Would like some thoughts on this.

 

[Drck]

Voice could be difficult to modify. You may be too relaxed, possibly you don't use enough of energy to exhale while speaking, thus your voice sounds softer. Or you could be too anxious, your throat is too constricted and only small amount of air goes through it while you are speaking.

So if you want to speak louder, take a deeper breath and try to exhale from the bottom of your stomach. You even want to tighten up you abdominal muscles to force the air out. At the same time, try to speak while you have relaxed throat. Sometimes you can build lots of pressure in your abdomen and chest, but your throat is too tight/constricted, you are releasing only small amount of air through your throat. You simply want to be exhaling larger amount of air from the abdomen through your throat, that gives you more power.

Also, observe people who speak louder. They put quite a lot of energy and enthusiasm into talking. It might be difficult to speak loudly in a crowd while you are too relaxed.... Simply put more energy to it...

First, forget the deepness, try to speak in natural pitch, just the way you normally talk except louder (more energized). See if it works when you are in louder areas. I actually found out that speaking in slightly higher pitch can have positive benefits, it gives me more natural vibes and I sound louder. I am also rather quite relaxed thus sound many times softer than I wish, which is rather unpleasant, especially when girls has to asks What?. So giving more energy into talking and going with the pitch slightly higher usually fixes it. At the same time, you of course don't want to have squeaky voice (natural pitch even slightly elevated is fine). So practice higher pitch first, it can give you much louder sound.

Once you are able to speak louder in your natural tone, even in higher pitch, only then add some depth to it.

Practice Om sound (like in meditation). It is a deep monotone sound, an excellent example is in movie Last Samurai in which Ken Watanabe (Katsumoto) was sitting and doing the Om sound. Great voice, deep, resonating...

Other things, practice inhaling and exhaling. If you don't have enough air in your chest/abdomen, it is difficult to make louder voice. Lay flat on the floor, inhale all the way to the bottom of your stomach. Don't move your chest up and down, only keep moving your stomach up and down (literally breath into the stomach). Once you are exhaling, see if you can do the Om from above.

A good, deeper and sounding voice is sort of "crispy". Like when you hear some people who have soar throat and they have that sort of "crispy" attractive voice. When you e.g. cough for longer time you can have that sort of voice. Or when you sing for longer time (just make sure nobody hears you LOL). You may also try to clear your throat several times, it usually helps with getting a deeper/crisper voice.

Next, practice speed of your language. You don't want to be hyperventilating, gasping for breath because of the anxiety (thus learn proper deeper breathing while talking). You don't want to sound monotone either, you want to emphasize more important words. It is similar to writing, if you want to E-M-P-H-A-S-I-Z-E some words you simply put more energy into them, pronounce them in slower speed, and even make a brief pause right after them. Make pauses after important sentences as well.

Observe great speakers. Obama is great speaker, probably one of the best around today, see how he emphasizes important words and sentences, see the confidence and enthusiasm, see how he speaks with confidence, how he makes pauses. Observe great actors, virtually every single one has a great way of expressing himself (that's why they are famous, duh).

Watch your breath, you don't want to eat garlic or onions before you talk to people. Brush your teeth, get chewing gum to keep your breath fresh. Stinky breath is a BIG repulsion to girls.

Watch modulation and pronunciation.

Don't forget the rest of the body language - how you stand, how you express yourself, what are your hands doing, how you look into other person's eyes and so on. Remember, communication is 70-80% of body language, the words itself are the rest...